What does acceptance mean/ feel like? Because to me it just scares me and makes me feel like I’m giving into my OCD thoughts.

The subject of OCD matters to the sufferer because it feels like confirmation that they are fundamentally unlovable and unwanted—as if even existence itself doesn’t want them. They feel like an error, carrying a deep sense of guilt and shame, as if they were inherently wrong. They suffer from low self-esteem and a deep internalized shame, because long ago, they were fragmented and learned a pattern of fundamental distrust—especially self-distrust. But the real trouble doesn’t come from the content of the most vile or taboo thoughts. It comes from the fact that the sufferer lacks self-love. That’s why, when you begin to walk the road to recovery, you’re taught unconditional self-acceptance—because that’s what all sufferers of OCD have in common: if you aren’t 100% sure, if there isn’t absolute certainty, the doubt will continue to attack you and your core values. It will make you doubt everything—even your own aversion to the thoughts. You have to relearn how to trust yourself—not because you accept that you might become a murderer someday—but because you enter a deep state of acceptance about who you truly are. It’s not about becoming a monster at all. It’s about making peace with what lies at the root of the fear. Making peace with the guilt. With the shame. Making peace with yourself and the person you fear you might be. Because that fear is not rooted in reality. It’s not rooted in any true desire to act. It’s rooted in your identity—specifically, in what might threaten it. That’s what confirms the belief that you are fundamentally wrong. And OCD fuels that belief by using intrusive taboo thoughts to attack your very sense of self. But then I wonder: let’s say, for example, someone fears being or becoming a sexually dangerous person—how could that person practice unconditional self-acceptance? I would never accept myself if I were to harm anyone—the thought alone makes me want to cry. I know it’s not about whether or not someone acts on the thought. It’s about the core fear underneath it. So how do you accept yourself when the thoughts—and the feelings around them—feel so completely unacceptable ?

I don't like how the internet talks about acceptance. Its always about "do not fight, hive up, accept the thoughts and feelings" but they never talk about the other side that acceptance is not giving up, letting yourself drown in the emotions and thoughts, just let the emotions do what they want to you, no you have the control to do whatever you want. And this is my problem when I want to take that control back i feel like im pushing away the feelings. Im tired of hearing "accept and allow every feeling" this can make you believe that you have to let yourself get drowned, this is not acceptance. Whenever I do it I just lost myself in the thoughts and emotions, but if I try to not lose myself then I fight and thats not acceptance... So this one now really bothers me....

Hi everyone! I'm on a season where my mental health is wavy, it changes alot and Im struggling with things. I use chatgp as a tool to help me learn what to do but I just find that what he's telling me doesnt help me and makes me spin more. It's about acceptance and what to do with emotions and what is fighting with them or avoiding, and I got to a point where everything i do seems like avoiding. It really makes me angry that things doesnt make a sense. I understand acceptance means we dont fight but that "dont fight" will easily become a compulsion to me. Also for years I got the advice that you need to feel your emotions which hurt me alot cause that made me focus on the feelings, now chatgpt teached me that I should change the focus, acceptance only means that we acknowledge that the frelings are there, but then we should put our focus on the present moment. This becomes a fight for me too... It told me alot of times that you dont change your focus to avoid feeling bad, you just do it cause you want to live your life, but this is stupid cause you dont feel like you want to cause you want to solve the fear,and sooner or later that will always become that you change your focus so you dont give attention to the thoughts. Cause if you do then oh well you are giving them control and attention which feeds them... So this makes me stuck cause everytime i try to change my focus i fe that im avoiding the emotion and then im just spining... Also the other thing that is really annoying, it says that I should accept everything, even that I fight with the thoughts, that I dont like it, that yi want to change it, that im feeding it, and dont try to change it cause thats fighting. So that means you just sit and let yourself do that, but now your accepting, and atleast you wont add more to it, but you accept it that now you are fighting and you hate it and you make it worse to yourself... this sounds so stupid and chatgpt doesnt understands why. Its like you are hitting yourself and it hurts you but you accept it to not add more pain by fighting with yourself about why you hit yourself, and you just sit and accept that you hit yourself and wait until it goes away... And again the answer would be "well you dont just sit you go and live your life while the feelings and thoughts are there" for that theres the first part of this post... I dont get this, you just live your life, tgat easily becomes "i want to live my life and not listening to this cr*p cause its annoying" which will become avoidance... and if you want to "watch the thoughts and dont try to make them go away" then you make them to stay by keep watching them... but again if you dont want to watch them and want to live my life, that will easily become I dont want to focus on this... theres no "middle path" for me I tried these, if i do this I feel like im avoiding, if I let my feelings be they just get my focus and all I think is that... I would really like to hear your thoughts on this, how can I live my life without avoidance, also I think i developed meta ocd cause a have alot of "i have to do it in the right way" thoughts.