- Username
- Sizmix
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Of course it’s targeting that first kiss… ocd loves to find “proof” of anything. Kids do weird things and are also curious. You cannot take this as anything about you. OCD will of course use this though. Never fails. Ocd is a bully. Sayyy thanks brain but I have no problem to solve here and disengage.
I just wish I didnt do it. I've actually never been in a relationship and I'm already dealing with this. It's not like when I practiced kissing it meant anything I was a curious kid doing curious thing and now I'm suffering because of it.
@Sizmix Be kind to yourself. You were just a kid. Try being in the “now”. Easier said than done but give yourself some grace. You can do this and remember that you have OCD.
@OCD33 I try to be in the now but as you may know OCD isnt a now-friendly disorder, especially the real event subtype. But I try to live in the now but it just stacks more reason I am in the wrong, just like it doesn't help that the person I practiced with is a close family member I still socialise with daily-weekly. Why cant I just discard of old stupid memories like other people without OCD can. It's also not just about the "first kiss" thing. It's about the fact that I kissed someone different, even if it was years ago its saying any future girl would hate me for it or even not like me because of it.
@Sizmix I did some weird shit with my cousins and it used to eat me alive. You said it best- we have ocd - any other person without ocd could let it go. You just care so so deeply. Any future girl I’m sure did some weird shit as a kid. Something to keep in mind- you were a kid. People with ocd feel this need to confess stuff they did as kids. The person you are meant to be with won’t judge or think it’s weird, she will say well you were a kid!! Kids are weird.
@OCD33 There's this girl I like and I wanted her to be my first kiss (corny I know) then this hit. I actually used to have real event over this but I got over it I guess this is its strike back. And yeah I know alot of people say what I did is normal and I know it was normal (with my age at the time) but it's not me who needs convincing its OCD which won't happen. But it's really calling it a weird experience it's just saying that "wow you kissed someone before you kissed her" Its almost like its saying I cheated on her without even being with her.
@Sizmix OCD is wild isn’t it! ERP!!! Lean into the discomfort and the uncertainty!! Are you in therapy? Medication?
@OCD33 No therapy and no medication
@Sizmix Is it worth a shot? You are in distress about this so it couldn’t hurt. Whatever you ocd is telling you not to do because of anxiety/ doubt… do it! The more you face this fear the better you will feel.
@OCD33 I was in therapy for a bit which helped some but it had a limit to how much it could help. I was also on 4 different medications for anxiety, 2 was accessed to me for both anxiety and ocd but I was taken off of them as they weren't really helping and was just making me drowsy.
@Sizmix Did you do ERP though? Unfortunately with medication it also takes a few different tries to see what one works best for you. I am on my third medication.
@OCD33 I'm still not familiar how to erp in certain subtype situations. And as we speak real event OCD just came back
Sizmix, pl get in touch with an ERP specialist. I have had this sub type theme.
The thing that most people forget when dealing with OCD, is that you can fight the disease by being resistant to the feelings and thoughts that come with it. You can’t do erp effectively; if there’s a part of you that’s saying, “I wish I never had this thought.” You have to start learning to not judge the thought and not identify with it. You have to practice and remind yourself the fact that your discomfort doesn’t have to do with the thought itself, but the anxiety associated with it. So extract the feeling from everything else like a surgeon, and laser focus on that feeling. Let it sit with you. Observe it. DO NOT judge it. Let it be there. Every time The thought comes right now, you immediately go into resistance mode. This is giving it more power and value. But I’m asking you to stop giving it value or meaning. Focus on the sensation and just allow it to come and go as it pleases. This takes practice, but this is the way forward. If you want to get better, truly better, follow this even if it’s uncomfortable. It will set you free.
This is great advice! Its simple, but definitely not easy.
You can’t fight the disease*
The subtypes actually don't matter as much as people think they do - it is definitely helpful in that it provides some sense of solidarity when it comes to the person being able to relate to others, and it provides the therapist with some basic information about what might be going on - but when it comes down to what to do with it, we approach all subtypes exactly the same - try to identify triggers, rituals, and exposures - do the exposures, approach the fears, do your best to reduce avoidance and resist rituals/compulsions. I would encourage you to ask yourself what your triggers are, what your rituals are, and how you can start to resist/reduce/postpone some of those compulsions.
Can OCD cause false memories ? I’ve seen something about it on here before but didn’t have time to read it. I’m really concerned because about 2 days ago, I was reading and read the word ‘kissing’ and then all of a sudden i got this thought in my head (like how OCD usually randomly sets off a trigger) and the thought is so horrible (I suffer with POCD) and I was like omg I know what it’s like to kiss a child (like, it felt like I genuinely remembered how it felt). And I started to panic so much thinking when have a I done that. These thoughts tend to involve my nephews because they’re really young, from ages 1-6, so my POCD often gives me intrusive thoughts about them. But this thought felt so real to the point where I keep thinking it’s actually happened. I did have a dream the other day that had my nephew in and it was so inappropriate and made me feel sick and guilty, so maybe this is where the false memory has come from. And I was like omg what if I’ve kissed him. And then I got really upset even though I know I haven’t because I would never do that ever and it makes me feel sick. So then the thought proceeded to omg you must’ve kissed your brother. And then the thoughts became so real all of a sudden and I started to panic so much ! I feel like this has genuinely happened when I was little (obviously not knowing that what I was doing was wrong) but it’s making me feel so sick and I don’t even know if it actually happened or not !! I’m so stressed having this on my mind and not even knowing. And what makes it worse is that the thought/ memory is like not just a kiss, it’s like a proper kiss and I feel sick !! But I don’t even know if it happened !!! How does the mind do This ?! And what makes it worse is that I remember when I was little and I was playing with my younger brother and we were tickling each other, and then I said I wanted to show him something that would tickle, and I started to tickle him (down there) and then it was like massaging it for a few seconds because I’d done it to myself so thought it was okay. I was only little so obviously didn’t know what I was doing and I told my mum about it ages ago because I felt awful and horrible. But now this thought that this kissing thing actually happened, I don’t even know what to do! I feel so guilty and sick and the fact that I can’t tell if it’s real or not is frustrating me so much ! Can this kissing thing be a false memory ? I feel like a terrible person !
I didn’t know incest OCD existed, but it makes me feel better knowing so because I struggle with it too. I was molested by my older half brother but now that he’s out of my life it makes things better that I’m not thinking about him, but the thoughts are towards my own father and whenever I think about them, they don’t affect me as much as I want them to; they don’t bring on intense anxiety and it scares me because I think I’m enjoying them? Can someone also have more than one subtype of OCD? I have thoughts of harming others, incest, and pedophelia and my mind continues to find something else to obsess over nearly every month to every 6 months. I’m lost, could someone please share their answers or insight, it’d be greatly appreciated!
Hello everybody. I’ve written many times about this topic but can’t seem to find peace within me. I remember sexual mimicking during childhood with my female cousin. She would do this to some of my friends too. She would kiss us by tongue and touch us inappropriately but we felt like we couldn’t say anything. It was a game as she likes a bit and she would call us by his name. When I got a little bit older but still young , I remember playing some kind of similar game to this one with my brother. We were both under 12. I think I was probably 11-12 and he was 9-10. Maybe younger. I’m not very sure. We would not kiss but we would get too close when in the same bed ( without our parents in the house ) we would be naked and our bodies were inappropriately touching. We may also have experienced some kind of arrousal as I definitely remember my brother did. We both enjoyed this game but both also knew it was in appropriate and we wouldn’t let our parents know. This may have happened 4-5 times during the same summer . Not ever again. My psychologist really have tried to reassure me and let me know this is more common than I think. My after covid 19 and quarantines I experience rocd and relationship guilt. Even if I have already confessed this ( without details ) to my boyfriend , my mind keeps on pushing towards telling him again. My constant fear is “How will you marry this guy if he doesn’t know?” “You are not normal” “We had forgotten about it. You should tell him again”. But I know I shouldn’t confess again because this is an unending circle. Any advice to get over this?
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