Does anyone else constantly question things they said in past conversations and worry that they come across wrong and feel like they need reassurance that another person doesn’t hate you? For example: Tonight me and my friend has to have a tough honest conversation about boundaries and it went well. But tonight I decided to text her and just thank her for that conversation and for being honest with me about everything, and now I’m freaking out that that text was too much and she’s made at me for texting that even though it was a good text but I’m afraid that she interpreted it differently and thinks I hate her or that I’m being rude and inconsiderate or bombarding her and a bother. That convo about boundaries was hard and I just wanted to text her as a reminder that I love her and was glad we could have a talk but now I can’t stop thinking about it and she’s likely asleep and can’t respond and I need to go to sleep I have an early morning.

the past month ive been ruminating about a time last year where i hurt a friend by unintentionally bringing up a traumatic memory when i was really drunk, enough that i didnt remember it, so i went 6 months without apologizing until i was worried when they werent talking to me anymore. so they told me when i finally tried to talk to them. i apologized and they told me we were ok now, and still want me in their life, but now they stopped talking to me again and its been 3 weeks, and im terrified that i did something again, especially since they stopped talking to me when i made a mistake before, and wont tell me outright. the event triggered horrible horrible guilt over what i did, mostly guilt About the guilt i was feeling, because its not a normal amount of guilt for a regular person, and eventually my compulsions for confessing and ruminating reached a high point. and when they stopped talking to me again they got even worse . they are aware i suffer from ocd and anxiety to an extent (we've been friends since we were teenagers) so its hard for me to believe they wouldn't do this unless i did something wrong again, especially due to the events of my past mistake. lately ive been wondering, 'have they found out my abnormal reaction to what happened ?' 'did a friend who knows about it tell them?' ive been avoiding asking them if i did something wrong again, because i dont want to make it a habit since i can fall very deeply into that hole of asking for reassurance and i feel even regular reassurance, without the ocd, im the last person who deserves that right now. im scared they somehow found out about my compulsions (which isnt entirely irrational) and i feel the need to apologize to them again. ive been having panic attacks about this. i feel like no matter what i do i cant fix our friendship, and its going to end badly. i feel like a terrible friend, and im too mentally ill to have friendships. i don't know what to do.

My close friend recently told me after a lunch we had with our significant others that I made the lunch not as fun as it could have been because I was in my head and being quiet. I apologized, but we’re all supposed to go on a long road trip in a week and I’ve been thinking non stop for two days about how I might get in my head while we’re on the trip and ruin my friend’s and everyone else’s time. Especially because traveling and socializing are anxiety triggers for me. I’ve thought about bringing it up to my friend, but I don’t want to make anything dramatic if it was just an off handed comment. She has never made me feel bad about my mental health issues before now and I’ve known her for 8 years. Is talking to her just a form of reassurance seeking?

I have lots of intrusive thoughts about “what if I did something wrong” or “what if I hurt someone without realizing it” in the past and have an overwhelming urge to reach out to everyone I’ve dated and ask if they are okay with me (even though doing so would be super weird and random to them probably). Is this a common experience? My thoughts feel so convincing that it has progressed from a much more mild state to full out believing what my thoughts say about me although no one has ever said anything bad about me (to my knowledge) and I’ve always been a loving and respectful partner. Three of my past girlfriends have told me that I was the best to them and they are forever grateful for the time they spent with me yet I still have thoughts about them and others! Any guidance is appreciated, I feel as if I’m alone with these worries! I need help to stop seeking reassurance.