- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
TW suicidality Discussion in this comment /// I’m also afraid she’s going to have a bad reaction to it cause she struggles really badly with depression and suicidality and the conversation on boundaries was about how we can talk about mental health/help each other without me feeling like a therapist and how to communicate when I don’t have the mental capacity to be actively helping if she needs it. And I’m afraid now that’s she’s going to get bad either because of that text or our conversation and hurt herself. Or that’s someday I’m gonna not have the mental space to help her and she will do something and I’m just so scared of that.
- Date posted
- 3y
Sorry that this turned out to be about alot more than just regretting and reviewing past conversations and things you’ve said.
- Date posted
- 3y
I suffer with this at the moment!!!!!!!! I go over and over when i told somenpeople aboit my intrusive thoughts and did they realise they were thoughts and not real?!!!! It is all OCD but i know how scary it feels xx
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I have OCD around being a bad or a “weird,” person. I use to be in therapy twice a week for two hours at a time because I was in such bad shape with it. Eventually I moved to once a week at two hours at a time, and now I’m down to just once a week, an hour at a time! I was also put on Lexapro, stayed on it for a year and just weened myself off in Nov. I do feel proud of myself, but today someone said something that was pretty triggering and I’m feeling funny now. Since I was a little girl, if I find someone I liked a lot, I wanted to know everything about them. This typically only happened with older adults and always women. It was always very harmless. I just lived in my head a lot with them always on my mind. Then Facebook came out where you could find out anything about anyone. I could go on to someone’s Facebook page, scroll through their page, pictures, and if I was really interested in them, could find out who their family was through their friends list, etc. Then I’d visit their families FB pages all the time out of just interest (or I guess you could call it being nosy, I don’t really know.) If I really felt interested in them, Id google them, look up their house, just weird stuff like that. I could end up knowing everything about them or their family. It had never caused me any harm or them any harm. I never really thought about it being weird or anything. But one day I woke up and was like, “what if I’m a stalker. What if this person knew that I knew who their parents are, their siblings, etc., etc.?” I got in to an absolute downward spiral about it and felt like such a weirdo, a creep, a freak. Seriously, I’m a pretty normal person. I’m married, kids, husband, stay at home mom, have the same friends I’ve had since middle school, high school, whatever. My therapist didn’t think this was a big deal and I was always scared she was just being nice. I made her promise me to tell me if anything I told her sounded off. Anyway, I was on the phone tonight and the person I was talking to, was talking about someone else and she said, “yeah, I mean she just looks people up and needs to know everything about them. That’s why she could be so good at being a private detective, or something like that. She’s kinda stalkerish.” It hit me hard. I felt like I needed to tell her that maybe she wouldn’t like me either because I can be the same way. I didn’t though. I didn’t get off the phone or do anything with it. If this was a year ago, I’d be in the bathroom vomiting, pacing the floor, taking my anti anxiety med. Today, I just dealt with the uncertainty of her not knowing that I can be the same way. I’m doing ok, but I’m so curious, is it just me that does this kind of thing? Is there anyone else that does this kind of thing? Is this abnormal? I know that it is what it is, but my phone conversation tonight kinda opened up that stuff for me a little bit and now I’m feeling like a freak. Thank you if read this and if you respond.😊
- Date posted
- 19w
Hey everyone, I just wanted to share something I’ve been struggling with, especially around making decisions. It’s really hard for me to feel confident in the choices I make, even when I know what the right thing is. I constantly find myself needing validation from others—whether it’s about something small or something really important. For example, at my job, I might know exactly what I’m doing and have done it right a bunch of times, but I still feel the need to double-check with someone or ask if it’s okay. It’s like this fear kicks in, and I start imagining worst-case scenarios—like what if I mess up and someone gets hurt, and then I get blamed or even end up in jail or prison. I know that sounds extreme, but these thoughts just come automatically, and they feel so real in the moment. This has been going on for maybe a year or two now. Even outside of work, the same thing happens. Like recently, I’ve been trying to figure out a gym schedule—my girlfriend wants to go with me, and I’m trying to plan the times and make it all work. But instead of just choosing what works best for me, I overthink it. I go back and forth in my head, and I ask other people what they think, even though deep down I know this is something I should be deciding for myself. It’s my life, but I still need that reassurance from others, and I don’t really know why. It’s exhausting to always doubt myself and to feel like one wrong choice could lead to something terrible. I’m trying to work through it, but I just wanted to put it out there and see if anyone else deals with this or has advice. Thanks for reading.
- Date posted
- 11w
the past month ive been ruminating about a time last year where i hurt a friend by unintentionally bringing up a traumatic memory when i was really drunk, enough that i didnt remember it, so i went 6 months without apologizing until i was worried when they werent talking to me anymore. so they told me when i finally tried to talk to them. i apologized and they told me we were ok now, and still want me in their life, but now they stopped talking to me again and its been 3 weeks, and im terrified that i did something again, especially since they stopped talking to me when i made a mistake before, and wont tell me outright. the event triggered horrible horrible guilt over what i did, mostly guilt About the guilt i was feeling, because its not a normal amount of guilt for a regular person, and eventually my compulsions for confessing and ruminating reached a high point. and when they stopped talking to me again they got even worse . they are aware i suffer from ocd and anxiety to an extent (we've been friends since we were teenagers) so its hard for me to believe they wouldn't do this unless i did something wrong again, especially due to the events of my past mistake. lately ive been wondering, 'have they found out my abnormal reaction to what happened ?' 'did a friend who knows about it tell them?' ive been avoiding asking them if i did something wrong again, because i dont want to make it a habit since i can fall very deeply into that hole of asking for reassurance and i feel even regular reassurance, without the ocd, im the last person who deserves that right now. im scared they somehow found out about my compulsions (which isnt entirely irrational) and i feel the need to apologize to them again. ive been having panic attacks about this. i feel like no matter what i do i cant fix our friendship, and its going to end badly. i feel like a terrible friend, and im too mentally ill to have friendships. i don't know what to do.
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