Sigh can OCD give you a dream? After helping someone with their incest OCD dream my head decided to give me one and I hate it. My dream made me kiss a relative. I literally woke up like it was a nightmare because it was. Why does it happen when I get a crush? And why the heck did it seem so real.

Does your OCD also say you like your relative even though you dont? It's hard for me to just count it as a dream because it felt so real, and it felt like there was real emotions so now I'm scared

@Sizmix This is exactly how OCD works - it tells you things that out of alignment with your true values. This is OCD. Entirely. I have had the same thoughts, and they go away once you are able to stop resisting them!

@Jay1421 What do I do about OCD saying the dream was real?

do you mind if I tell you some of the reasons why I might of had this dream? I wanted to ask be cause this thread is going for long

@Sizmix Sure, go ahead!

@Jay1421 alright well, the person I kissed in my dream is someone I actually practiced kissing as a kid and I have guilt over it alot so I feel that could be a reason. I also have this girl I like, shes just beautiful, and often I find myself having romantic thoughts of her like cuddling and kissing. So I think my dream put the other thing and this together to make the kissing dream. My ocd doesnt even seem to understand is the person I kissed in my dream actually has a girlfriend (Shes pansexual; The girl I kissed in my dream is). Despite me waking up from it, it doesnt believe it's a dream. But now my OCD is saying I like my family member when I dont. I'm so sick of it man.

@Sizmix I understand how tiring it can be! The thing is, trying to figure out 'why' you had the dream is a form of rumination, which is a coping strategy we try to use to avoid or explain away the thoughts. Unfortunately, this kind of coping does not ultimately help us to recover, it keeps us trapped in a state of constant anxiety. Instead of trying to figure out why you had this dream, I think it's better to just try and accept that you've had it and sit with the anxiety that the acceptance causes - don't try to fight it, it will only fight back more and more! I promise you that if you can sit with the anxiety and not avoid it or try arguing with it, you will feel better with practice! A lot of people practiced kissing as a kid with relatives, that's not something to be ashamed of, but unfortunately once your OCD is engaged, it will try to use anything as evidence of your fears. Accept, accept and accept. It is only by looking our fears directly in the eyes that we can see how scary they really aren't!

@Jay1421 something I feel helps my OCD is I always try to find a way to convince my self that it's just a dream and then I sit in uncertainty but it's not working this time. I cant seem to sit in uncertainty without figuring it out atleast once. I also noticed my OCD gets worst when I try to change myself (Losing weight, building muscle, trying to stop being anti social) But then ocd strikes like a bolt and unmotivates me, does similar happen to you?

@Sizmix Yes! I think trying to convince yourself it's just a dream is what worsens it in the long run, even though the reassurance in the moment can feel good. To deal with OCD, we must be able to accept not having an answer when it asks why we experienced a particular thought or feeling! It's okay to figure out it out once or twice, at the moment that's naturally how your mind will respond because it's what you're used to, but there comes a point when it's no longer helpful. A therapist would be able to guide you better with the specifics of how to deal with each theme as they happen. With regards to trying to change yourself, I experience something similar. The way I understand it is that change is difficult, especially when we're so used to our current habits, with some of them even offering relief to our anxiety. Being antisocial might be a coping mechanism for social anxiety, for example, so without that coping mechanism we are suddenly more anxious. Similarly, losing weight and gaining muscle require us to develop a routine of going to the gym, comfort eating less etc., which can leave us feeling defenceless against our anxiety - in my opinion, the anxiety isn't 'worse' as much as we have less mechanisms for coping with it, but that's actually a great thing! Leaving your comfort zone and experiencing anxiety is, as silly as it sounds, a wonderful opportunity to train your mind how to sit with the anxiety without escaping and realise how much none of it really matters.