I’ve had this exact feeling, it’s terrible, this happened to me a couple of nights ago, which also came along with an intrusive dream about it and I did wake up with an “e”, I felt so disgusting and wanted to kms, but my therapist said that dreams tend not to be so literal and that they’re just thoughts, I’m still panicked, but I’m gonna keep trying
@Dialup Oh my God thank you, I just got so terrified, I’ve been avoiding family gatherings because of this, OCD is truly awful, I miss when I never thought of this stuff, thank you so much though, this really helped!
I have POCD events! Accidentally seeing things worried if the stuff I used to look at if it was underage or not. I'm 15, and it sucks, I wish everything was only thoughts. It would make me feel less of a disconnect with y'all.
Yes, OCD can definitely present in the form of intrusive feelings, urges, etc. And with taboo themes, in particular POCD, this can feel so triggering because it tricks you into considering whether you would actually like it. This can lead you spinning into lots of anxiety and doubt. The reality is you finished that statement with "now my whole life is ruined completely, not sure if I can move on from this". Someone who truly liked those thoughts would be curious about them, they would think they are fantastic, they would make efforts to try to see those urges through and try to experiment with them. Your OCD will read that and still doubt it because there's always more "but what if.." when it comes to OCD, so that's why sitting with the uncertainty is so important. We can't give OCD what it wants which is trying to logic your way out of it - it doesn't work. You have to have the experience of letting the intrusive experiences be there, not responding to them, and moving on with your day as though they do not matter. This sends the message to your brain that these experiences do not warrant a type of response and are not important enough to trip you up.