Genuine question whats the best way to not look for reassurance how are you able to stop yourself for seeking reassurance? also how do you know when you are seeking for reassurance like sometimes I feel I may be doing it unconsciously but im not quite sure

A good way to tell whether you're seeking information vs seeking reassurance is to see what happens if you don't seek it. If you are simply seeking information, it shouldn't feel urgent or hurried. You'd be okay without it. However reassurance feels much more urgent and important. You can build a hierarchy with your therapist to work up to not seeking any reassurance and practice sitting with the emotions that come up instead. In the meantime, if you are unable to stop yourself from seeking reassurance you can see how long you can delay it. Or only seek it partially.