sometimes i fear i'm making all this up. that i'm fabricating these intrusive thoughts or compulsions for attention. i don't have an OCD diagnosis which makes my mind even more doubtful and i sometimes daydream about having a diagnosis. which i know sounds really messed up and doesn't make this sound any better. 

OCD - Feels Like Fabricating Intrusive Thoughts Or Compulsions For Attention

Thinking you’re faking your OCD is actually a common intrusive thought that people with OCD have. I got this exact thought the other day

@ode It’s so frustrating to deal with! It makes you question everything 10 times more, but it’s actually an intrusive thought most of us suffer with