If I tell suicide hotline that I’m gay what would they do fuck I’m scared right now I’ve completely gone off the deep end I shut down I don’t even talk to people anymore people at work think I’m gay im almost positive I’m just in closet I know I’ve come on here and said this a million times but I think I actually am gay just was too stubborn to admit it and am extremely scared of what people with think about me I’m a caring person but I’m ashamed of these thoughts I’m scared to even call hotline

I’m having a panic attack right now. I’m talking to a cute boy and my mind is telling me I’m not attracted to him and I’m attracted to girls. I want to be with a guy. But what if I’m into girls and I have internal homophobia. I don’t want to be gay because it’s not something I believe in. I feel the need to come out. I want to be into men like I was. I hate this living like this is such a waste. I literally don’t want to be here. I’m at work and I’m freaking out

I’ve lost my interest in men. I’ve been telling myself what if I’m gay for over a year now and I feel like I’m gay now. I feel like my biggest worry is coming out now. In my religion and culture it’s wrong and I don’t want it. It all started as a movie scene last year. I’ve accepted it I’ve given up. I feel like I’ve been in denial the past a year. I’m on tinder looking at girls now cause I don’t know anymore. Now I can’t seem to find someone I’m interested in I can’t see myself kissing a girl or sleeping with one. I just truly believe I’m gay and I have to call my mom and come out. I want to cry. I’m nervous idk what’s real. Am I gay? Or is this ocd? Am I bi? Should I come out? Was my life a lie? Am I in denial cause it’s unacceptable? Will my parents love me? If I’m worried about them then it’s cause I’m in denial right? Ugh I want to die.

Okay so having a lil anxiety attack right now because the thought of being gay aint scaring me anymore and now i feel like i truuuly am gay and like i have to come out to my parents and like im pressured by myself and not accepting myself and it feels just too real and idkkk its crazy how i can go from okay to this stage again. I feel like i try not to fall in love with woman and im holding myself back but if i truly was gay wouldnt it just liked the same sex earlier in my life. Like it just happens right? So ive never had that but i feel like im blocking myself from likjng woman but jve never liked them in my whole life so idk what im tryna convince myself. I cant lie, This generation is rlly hard on me when it comes to my hocd. Evergwhere around me people are comjng out and it makes it look like being gay is a huge posibility and that i could easily be gay when u look at how many people are gay. That it wouldnt be a weird case like so many girls are lesbian why wouldnt i be. What would make me straight and them gay? The thing is all these questjoms once were never in my head and all the answers were so clear i didnt even had to ask the questions to myself. But why do i now? Makes me feel like im gay because straight ppl would never ask themselves these questions...