Im not sure if this is ocd related or not, but I am at my wits end with my husband. I feel like he is maybe borderline abusive, he is constantly correcting me on all of these things and I can’t take it anymore, I tell him to stop and explain that just because I do something differently then how he would do it it’s okay, but he just continuously corrects me. I’m not gonna lie, on a few occasions I have pushed or shoved him to get my point across, but only because he doesn’t leave me alone or listen to me and I feel like that is my only way to get my point across. He’s bigger than me so I know I am not hurting him, but when I have done this he responds a lot more powerful and drags me or throws me etc. he did it the other day in front of our one year old baby and the baby was distraught from the whole scene. I’m just very confused where to go from here, I try to talk to him but he doesn’t listen and I have no one else to talk to.

Hi I’ve never posted before but I need to talk with other people that have this too because it’s hard to explain to other people without ocd. I was in a relationship for awhile and we started dating before either of us knew I had ocd. Anyway I have a really bad episode of it that led me to go get on medication and got into therapy. My ocd can have some really taboo themes and thoughts which I have learned is just what comes with the illness. The problem though is when I was really struggling one of my compulsions was confessing and reassurance seeking specifically to the guy I was dating because I trusted him. We both knew at this point that I had ocd and it affected many parts of our relationship particularly our intimacy which he made me feel bad about. He started calling me crazy, just joking, but still. Eventually I start feeling better and we start being intimate again and the day after he breaks up with me. About a month later after I hear he went on a date with another girl (we live together) he tells me he couldn’t be intimate with me because of my intrusive thoughts. We still live together with 2 other roommates so I still see him everyday. We try to be cordial with each other. I still have my moments though I’m still dealing with my ocd and a breakup seemingly caused by it and I cry a lot. Some months go by and he’s dating this other girl and I end up making out with one of my other roommates. I have no idea if my ex knew but the next day when it was only me in the house he starts screaming “THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS” and starts slamming shit. I tell my roommate about this and he and I are both kind of scared of him. He started acting really cold to us after. Then the night before my graduation my two roommates moved out so it’s just me and my ex in the house. In the middle of the night he comes downstairs and in front of my door calls me a horrible name relating to my intrusive thoughts. I open the door and say fuck you and he says you took my fucking friends. I said I didn’t take shit from you and he says yeah and goes upstairs and screams BINGO for some reason. He did it in the middle of the night when we were alone and I had no one to talk to or go to. He blames me because a lot of our friends sided with me in the breakup because they knew what I was going through. He had told me that I could never speak if my intrusive thoughts to anyone including my therapist (I did don’t worry) but he had made me feel so ashamed more than I was already. Also the next day he left a mess for me to clean up since I was the last one to move out. I’m coming to terms with the fact that on top of this awful experience with ocd that I may have been emotionally abused as well.

Okay so there’s been a few times where my boyfriend has hit me lightly across the face always in a jokey way and never hard. However I cry every time because my ocd says it’s abuse (you know what ocd is like 🙄) I told him not to do it cause I don’t like it. However I jokely hit myself a lot and pull my hair out pick my nails etc and he hates it because to him “I’m self harming myself” so he hits me across the face (not hard just a tap) as he says to him it’s okay in that context cause it’s to stop me from doing it to myself and he says “it’s like telling a kid to not have chocolate but having it yourself. Today, He pushed my head away jokely cause I said a joke to him about him and I said I told you not to and he said “it wasn’t your face” I asked him why he does my face and he says he does ir on purpose as he thinks the context he does it in is okay as he does it cause im hitting myself and he said “it’s like telling a kid not to eat chocolate but then eating it yourself” he means cause I tell him not to hit me but I hit myself or pull my hair out and he says it’s no difference… He says when I bring it up it’s like I’m always picking a fight Is this ok? He’s a lovely boyfriend and has never ever gave me any other problems.. it’s just this one thing. It’s never hard it’s just a tap. Should I worry or is my ocd interfering with this.

Is anyone else struggling with the “What if my partner is abusive?” I have been obsessing over this for 3 weeks. My brain is on overdrive trying to recall every incident within our relationship to determine if it was abusive behavior. My partner is not perfect but I truly don’t believe he is abusive. There are three incidents that I have been obsessing over and my brain tries to tell me it is abuse and I need to leave. First incident - I accused him of smoking cigarettes with my friends and he grabbed my arm not in an aggressive manner but more of let’s go over to your friends so they can tell you I wasn’t smoking. Other Incidents - We’ve had stupid arguments and he tried to make me laugh by playfully manhandling me or kissing me. This has happened about 3 times. It is playful and never physically hurt me but I get triggered. I start asking myself questions like was that too rough? Was he being abusive? Was he trying to intimidate me? Is this how abuse starts? Did he do something abusive but I’m in denial? Am I overacting to normal behavior in playful relationships? Am I gaslighting myself into believing he isn’t abusive? These questions are driving me crazy. I do not feel scared of my boyfriend and I trust him. I have talked to him about all this and he listens and has stopped the behavior that triggered me. I even found a list of abusive behavior on Google and we went through it together. I keep brining it up and it is causing a strain in our relationship. He doesn’t even want to touch me anymore.