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As catlove said, this is my biggest struggle

Hi Ryry. I’m in the same boat. Night time is wayyyy worse. I highly suggest you seek treatment with a provider experienced in ERP. ERP on your own is challenging. However, I would suggest writing a script. Write a story of harming your parents in their sleep read it out loud until your anxiety goes down and you get bored with the story. It’s hard, but doing compulsions feeds this cycle. We can expose ourselves to triggers, but doing an exposure is a whole different ball game. Lean into the fear. Best wishes to you.