Ocd is a judgmental bully. Think of the most judgmental person you know. Ocd is 5x worse than that. The problem is, it’s in your head, and will judge your every thought. Thoughts that literally everyone has. And it will make you over speculate and tell you to control it. You don’t need to control anything. Thoughts don’t even mean anything. If I thought of the sky falling, that doesn’t mean the sky will fall or I want the sky to fall. Ocd is just making you feel like you need to reach its standards. Don’t try to meet the standards of your bullies. You are so much better than they are.

But if the thoughts are subconsciously always there and coming so frequently how does one not believe them?!?

Because all thoughts are subconscious. And the fact that you have them frequently is ocd. None of that means it’s true. Let yourself know that it’s your ocd, ignore it, and you’ll start to feel more comfortable!

Its difficult to argue with it and win it thats why i always get tired ans try to sleep or distract my mind

Don’t ever argue with it. Try to just breath, give yourself a break, and move on to something more enjoyable. And I can agree that my ocd drains my energy too. But it’s just not worth giving it the time of day. It’s only a bully who spouts nonsense.

I def find when I just let it be there and not fight it it goes away quicker. Also this is wierd but if I get a disturbing image that kinda sends me into a lapse after I get over it that image never bothers me again even if it appears in my head which is good but also strange

That’s good! That means that you’re learning not to be bothered by your ocd’s nonsense! I’m very proud of you and I hope you continue to not fight it and get even better!