Happy Wednesday y'all ❤ I see a lot of y'all struggling today so I'd like to offer a different perspective. When you are focusing on gratitude, it makes it quite difficult to be preoccupied with your worries. Just like how practicing compassion for a person who might be annoying you in the moment makes it harder for you to ya know...be annoyed with them. You are offering them understanding and patience, so extend that offer over to yourself. Because you totally deserve it!:) Make a list of 10 things you are grateful for and really focus on the feelings of gratitude. I promise it'll lift your mood 💛💛💛

I completely agree! I feel like trusting your gut is definitely a learning process with ocd, also the perfectionism aspect too!

@alexisrae1999 Hi Alexis. How are you? Did you and Gyppers have a nice Halloween? :) I haven't been on the app in awhile, I've been pretty stressed lately, but I'm in therapy and it's going decently I guess. ERP is just a lot more complicated to me than I thought it was based off of my previous understanding of it. But I'm hoping to figure it all out more as I continue therapy.

@Drew777 Honestly I've been pretty down lately, going through some rough stuff right now. I'm also amping up the erp which is making it feel so much more real. When you're doing the erp correctly I feel like its supposed to get worse before it gets better. :( Gyps and I had a cute halloween! 😊 I hope youve been well, you got this :)

@alexisrae1999 I'm sorry to hear you've been pretty down lately. I wouldn't have been able to tell if you hadn't said anything, you always seem so cheerful and upbeat in your posts. I think you're strong to be amping up your ERP at a time when you're already really stressed. I'm afraid I'm not understanding how to do my ERP very well. My therapist set up a hierarchy for me, but I don't really fully understand all of it. I'm going to try to do at least some ERP exercises each day until I see my therapist again, I just hope I'll do them correctly. I'm glad that you and Gyps had a cute Halloween, based off of your personality a cute Halloween definitely sounds accurate, lol. I'm doing okay, I have good days and bad days. My mood feels all over the place a lot, but I'm going to keep fighting my OCD until I find a place where I finally feel more comfortable. :) You got this too Alexis! Thank you for all of your continued awesome encouragement! :)

@Drew777 I hide it pretty well, I'm used to masking 🥲 its something I'm working on--letting people in more to the emotions that aren't the cheerful and upbeat person I'd like to keep being. I appreciate you saying that Drew, that's really kind of you :). It definitely is super hard, I am feeling much less anxious about the things that used to make me really scared, which is making the back door spike super real. For ERP i recommend combining it with ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy). Basically what you do is accept any thoughts and feelings while doing an exposure. Its helped make me more motivated:) there's also a lot of helpful YouTube videos on doing erp correctly, I recommend nathan peterson 😊 We did have a cute one! I went out and worked in my Halloween hoodie 😂 I felt like a kid again. I'm a delivery driver at the moment so it was fun trick or treating a bit. That's very nice :) I feel you on the good and bad days. Its okay to have bad days because its part of life and just makes ya so grateful for the good moments in life. My area was under a boil water advisory for days and I was finally able to take a shower last night and was soooo grateful :) I hope you continue to work towards your goals :) you're always so sweet

Stressed and sad alexis can be a bit much sometimes 😂. The mask has been coming off but I need to control it ahaha, that's very kind of you:) Yes, much less anxious! A back door spike is feeling anxiety over not being anxious, because if you're not anxious ocd says whatever youre concerned about just MUST be true Act is great and very grounding, and nathan peterson is amazing too:) He's an actual ocd therapist. My hoodie was a black and orange jack-o-lantern hoodie, super cute 😊😊 was fun. I do look forward to better days,,especially with the boil water advisory over (low water pressure could lead to bacterial contamination). Many more showers!!!🤣 I will definitely strive to see that great lake hehe. You have a great attitude so I'm sure you'll be achieving those goals :) no rush no pressure. Always a pleasure talking to you drew! I've grown up in an emotionless family so its taken some work but I'm getting there ❤ I hope you have an awesome day too, enjoy it!:)

I've done a lot of breaking down lately tbh, i went through an unofficial breakup (we weren't technically dating) a week ago and i was an entire mess...so I've been dealing with the sadness that follows that. I don't know, I also get a lot of intrusive thoughts as I type about him. I'm just feeling a bit empty if I'm being quite honest. I feel like love is the best thing you can have in this world, and for someone like me who doesn't open themselves up often...for it to be taken away just like that makes the pain unbearable. He taught me a lot though, i am very grateful for everything that we shared :) all positive things to say, he's an amazing person and I wish him the best. Thanks for offering your ear drew 😊 Yes! The back door spike is terrible and can definitely send you back into your worrying ways lmao. I believe nathan peterson does have a video or two on it so now that you're off work that would be a good idea to look it up! It was very cute:) I was so excited to go out 🤣🤣. For me whenever I go for a road trip or a long drive I feel pretty good and like myself :) and yes a nice shower is something I will never take for granted anymore. I am sorry to hear that you used to live that life. Little known fact about me, during the height of my depression I basically became a mute for an entire year--did not speak up like at all in class and couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone I didn't deem "safe." Luckily now that it's been a while since highschool I am in a much better place. But I hope you can see how easy it is to turn yourself around:). Mental health is like physical health, you need to constantly work on maintaining it in order for you to be able to continue functioning. I empathize with your years of sadness, but am proud of how you've changed everything around. Erp can be a tricky concept to understand, bdcause who in their right mind WANTS to feel anxious?? Not me! 🤣 but that's the whole point. Getting used to it. Never a problem drew 💛

@alexisrae1999 I know people say this all the time, but I really do know how you feel. While I never really dated much in school (or in general I guess) I have dealt with feeling that same emptiness that you're describing... I always thought falling in love sounded like the greatest thing in the world, to find someone you trusted completely in this life, someone to just love and be happy and at peace with through everything, it sounded like a dream come true. Looking back though I wanted to fall in love too desperately to the point that I said things to girls I met in school or online that was just way too soon to say in our friendship, for example I had one friend who I had only known for probably a few months and I didn't even know her all that well, but I told her one day "wouldn't that be funny if we were married some day?". She handled my comment surprisingly well, lol, but thinking back on it I just realize now how cringey and weird that was of me to say to her. 😅 basically any girl I met and became friends with I viewed as a potential future wife, which sounds so weird, I know... I didn't expect to say all of this, I don't even know why I am honestly, I guess it's just because I can relate to you because the pain was unbearable for me too when I constantly felt rejected when none of the girls that I liked ever liked me back. It just gave me so much pain inside my heart back then. I'm so glad to be able to say now though that I am happily married to my amazing wife and that it was worth the wait and pain that I went through back then to make it here where I am now, I would go through it all again to be able to be here where I am now. (By the way, my wife isn't the same girl that I asked that question to earlier in my comment, just for the record, lol). I'm trying to say all of this too so that it will give you some encouragement for the future as you continue on your path in life that God has for you. You will meet the right person in time, it may take days or months or even years, but there is someone out there that will bring you happiness and love. God has a special plan and a special person for your life Alexis, just remember that. :) I'm glad that you were able to learn a lot from this other guy that you unofficially dated though and that you are having a good attitude about everything that has happened. Even though you are struggling right now you are still maintaining a healthy balance of your feelings, (or at least I think so) and that is awesome! I was never good at that back when I was younger, I just always turned to sadness and never tried to look at the positives that were around me. You're already a lot of steps ahead in the right direction I think! :) and you're always welcome, I'm glad to lend my ear anytime and offer advice too if you like, I might talk a lot sometimes though so just be prepared for that, lol. 🤣 I watched a couple of Nathan Peterson's videos yesterday! I didn't watch any on the back door spike though, but I watched some on religious and moral scrupulosity and how to properly do ERP treatment for it. :) it was really helpful and I feel like he explained it in a way that was easy to understand, I told my wife about the videos too so that she can watch them and have a better understanding of what I'll be doing for ERP therapy. Thank you for suggesting his videos! 😀 I'm glad that you were so excited to go out and that road trips help you to feel good and feel like yourself! It definitely sounds like driving and just exploring different places defines a lot of who you are Alexis. It sounds like a big part of your personality and something that gives you a lot of joy, so I think that's great that you get to go on road trips often. :) I'm sorry to hear that you went through such a hard time for an entire year of being a mute. It sounds dreadfully lonely... :( I'm so glad that you're in a better place now though! 😀 I wouldn't necessarily describe it as easy to turn myself around, but I see what you mean. While it took a lot of work for me to get out of the hole of depression that I was in, the more work I put into climbing out of it the easier it got over time. I'm proud of the person I am now, but I couldn't have made it to where I am today on my own. God helped me so much during that time and I don't know where I would be without Him, my wife also helped me so much too during that time and I don't know where I would be without her either. :) and I know right? That's exactly why I've been confused by ERP, but you're right, that is the whole point that we need to get used to the anxiety. I hope and pray that we'll both get better and that therapy and ERP will go really well for us both over time. 😊 Have a great night my friend! :)

@Drew777 I see that we share a similar experience. However with me I was too afraid to show any type of emotions to anyone because of some traumatic events I had been through,so little to no rejection for me based on my own choice to submit to the fear 🤣. I'd say your comment is definitely not weird, my first boyfriend low key said I love you to me within a week of us talking...not even dating 😂😂😂. I appreciate your encouragement, I've been very discouraged because love is something I want so badly but my main ocd themes make it so hard to even try. I've never been religious,but I appreciate your comforting words there. I guess I just lack the faith 🥲. Yes he's an amazing person, he honestly deserves the world and I hope he finds it 😊. I've been working in processing my feelings and being able to decipher what exactly I'm feeling, its been hard lol. Well I'm almost 23 so I'm not as young as a bunch of the kids on here 😂 I've seen some maturity on here and I definitely feel like being mentally ill does that ahaha I appreciate you!:) You and your wife seem like y'all have a great relationship:) I'm happy for you! Yes nathan peterson is great, i started off my ocd healing journey with him😊 And that's a really sweet thing of you to say drew :) I love exploring, just making up for lost time hehe :) no longer a mute but yes the turn around takes a bit of work. I'm happy god was able to help ya, I've never been religious but who knows maybe some day :) You got this!❤