Any shared concerns, advice, or kindness is much appreciated. Ocd has gone after everyone that I rely on for support (my family and pets). As I thought this a new fear was unlocked… my therapist is the only one left I can rely on. What if ocd goes after this last source of support? Right on cue I read about someone having an intrusive thought about being attracted to their therapist. I was worried that the seed had been planted but I tried to move on from the idea. I just finished watching a tv show and (of course) one of the main characters sleeps with his therapist. I have been trying to use may/may not statements, mindfulness, and I finished watching the episode even though I didn’t want to so I am not using avoidance as a compulsion. Unfortunately, this concern is really engrained and I am so afraid ocd is successfully destroying my last source for support. I hate this and I hate ocd.

WilliamB

200d ago

I hope you find some peace within yourself. Know that you are not alone in your struggles. As alienating as it may feel, there are many who understand and empathize. My advice is try your best to be kind to yourself.

Have a sunflower🌻

200d ago

Thank you very much for your kindness and advice. It’s heartbreaking knowing that ocd has taken away every source of support from around me one by one. I’m just tired and sad and uncomfortable. I wish I could just have a moment of peace or one thing ocd doesn’t attach itself to. Thank you for reminding me I’m not alone. That is what I think I needed to hear. It gives me strength to fight this fear knowing that others out there might have struggled with it before as well. Thanks again for your response!

Sarah🕊

200d ago

I know how you feel. I have gone and go through this. The intrusive thoughts spin out of control and make you feel like you can’t be around anyone you care about whether it’s family or friends. It’s very isolating. And I worry that my intrusive thoughts will attach to anything. Just know you are not alone and we are all here to help each other. It’s not easy I know. Just remind yourself that intrusive thoughts will try to attach to anything important or anything you care about in your life. Talk to your therapist they understand and they have heard everything before because they deal with OCD all the time with many patients. Wishing you all the best. Be kind to yourself.

Have a sunflower🌻

200d ago

Thank you! I will have to decide if I will talk to my therapist about it or not. I don’t want to make things uncomfortable. I wish I could like take a poll about whether others have had intrusive thoughts about their therapist and what they did about it. Thank you again for your kindness!

Sarah🕊

200d ago

@Have a sunflower🌻 I definitely have those fears as well. My intrusive thoughts will literally try to attach to anything especially when I’m feeling stressed or sad. We can get through this and you are strong and brave and things will get better.

Have a sunflower🌻

200d ago

@Sarah🕊 Thank you! I sure hope so.

Drew777

198d ago

I can sort of relate to how you feel. For a long time my mind made me feel like I had to seek reassurance from everyone, I know that isn't really the same thing that you're dealing with right now at all, but I think in some sense the feeling that comes with it is the same, at least to some degree. Like, at first it started out where I just had to seek reassurance from my parents, then it was my sister, then a few times it was my grandparents, then it was even sometimes with my friends who didn't even know I had OCD. Now years later I really just seek reassurance from my wife, but not too long ago I had started seeking reassurance from my mother-in-law too and that had me really stressed out, but I've broken out of that since then. But I had the same thing happen each time, I would start worrying "what if my OCD starts making me feel like I need to seek reassurance from my sister?" or "what if my OCD starts making me feel like I need to seek reassurance from my grandparents?" and it would continue with everyone else in my family and friends... and then that would be the exact thing that ended up happening because I worried that it would, and it always really upset me... I still seek reassurance from my wife fairly regularly though, but I'm hoping to get better about not feeling the need to do that either. I love talking to my wife and discussing important issues with her, but I don't want to feel the need to seek reassurance from her about my OCD. I've noticed that the more I worry if something will happen that I previously wouldn't have worried as much about, then that's the very thing that will normally end up happening. For you it was the worry that OCD would go after your last source of support, and then because you were worried that it would happen, your OCD caused you to start worrying about that very thing. It's a frustrating feeling and it can feel very defeating. But just know that you can make it through this, it may feel impossible right now and you might not think you can make it past this, but you can and you will! Just don't give up my friend! Your OCD is a bully and a liar, and it is for all of us too, but just know that you still have your therapist for support, they will help you through this struggle that you're facing. Also remember you have all of your friends here on the NOCD app for support too! Don't be afraid to reach out to us! :) I hope and pray you'll have a fantastic day Have a sunflower! God bless! :)