you know what's just a good feeling? stressing out and then realizing you're stressing out about NORMAL THINGS. things NORMAL PEOPLE would be stressed out about. that the sum of your emotional distress has nothing to do with your OCD, and that you've done multiple things today that would have 100% triggered your OCD for days/weeks/months/years if you hadn't gone through ERP. it's mindblowing. you're just sitting there and all of a sudden- holy crap, I'm NORMAL. I'm doing NORMAL BRAIN SHIT. I'm fine. Like, what???

when i’m not thinking about a compulsion so i do things “regularly” does that mean it’s not OCD? i’m just confused is it all in my head? am i just faking it in my head all this time? sorry for posting so much my mind likes to go spiral lol

So I’ve noticed that my OCD has calmed down, I’m getting less intrusive thoughts but I feel more uncertain than ever. Is this normal for recovery?

The past month or so I have been in and out of OCD spirals. I’ll have a couple days of spiraling and then a couple days of being better. Then a couple days spiraling and then a couple days doing better. Today is one of those days where I can feel the anxiety under the surface and where I am monitoring it to see/keep it in check. Yesterday I was good, I had good dialogue in my mind, I was content with making mistakes in the past, but being a better human and person these days going forward. I can feel the ebb and flow of it today where the anxiety spikes, my internal dialogue say “am I going to freak out”, “confess this”, “say that”, “don’t say that”, “I’m a bad person”, “I’m a good person that is learning and growing every day” etc etc. Then the anxiety comes down, my mind feels clearer, less noisy and less physical feeling, and I feel like I don’t care about the OCD and me as much. Just been feeling the ebbs and flows of OCD over the course of months and days, and even within the day itself.