you know what's just a good feeling? stressing out and then realizing you're stressing out about NORMAL THINGS. things NORMAL PEOPLE would be stressed out about. that the sum of your emotional distress has nothing to do with your OCD, and that you've done multiple things today that would have 100% triggered your OCD for days/weeks/months/years if you hadn't gone through ERP. it's mindblowing. you're just sitting there and all of a sudden- holy crap, I'm NORMAL. I'm doing NORMAL BRAIN SHIT. I'm fine. Like, what???

Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?

So at one point I was glad I was having anxiety/stress about these thoughts but now I feel like something has changed is it normal to not want anxiety and stress even tho it helps me realize these thoughts are not mine. Like the anxiety and stress is doing me no good and it's really messing me up. Is it normal to not want stress and anxiety after awhile or is something wrong with me

I’ve started ERP therapy with a really great therapist, and I haven’t gave into my compulsions but I still have anxiety and yesterday my brain was telling me that people were zombies😭 is this normal?