I don’t understand every waking moment is something gay thoughts I wake in morning to go to restroom anything that might look like a penis or dildo I have thoughts of you want to put that in your ass, or I’m driving on the road and see people use a right hand turn blinker and think it means there calling me gay I work as a driver driver for Amazon and any time they talk about a package I auto think of gay things or I deliver to someone a dude and my brain won’t shut up I want to get therapy but I have no insurance isn’t it through the roof? This has gone beyond repair I worry sometimes fuck man this hurts bad

Kathy♥️

Date posted: 4y

I had similar thoughts as a teen and it eventually went away I don't know why. I have been taking therapy and from what I learned is that denying it makes it worse because the thoughts will come stronger. Accepting the thought and telling yourself this is a thought maybe its true or maybe its not true but I'm not going to let it consume me. Don't fight with the thought. Try not to avoid the thoughts and face them without compulsions. Accept the thoughts. Its just a thought and just because its telling you things doesn't mean its true. I hope this helps! I'll be praying for you.

Keepgoing1995

Date posted: 4y

Thank you for the response I’m trying really hard to do this I think I ended up just burying myself so deep that I need someone to help pick me up out of this hole like my brain rewired into just completely off trying so hard to find out how to live again you have a kind soul thank you so much for the support I hope you’re life treats you so well

Lms526

Date posted: 4y

You need to stop seeking assurance about this. I see you have made several posts about this. Seeking reassurance 8s a compulsion. Yes, it relieves your anxiety short term, but it also tells your brain that the threat is real. Your brain responds by giving you the same thought more often. Which makes your OCD worse and keeps you stuck in the OCD cycle.

Keepgoing1995

Date posted: 4y

I know I’m trying my damn but I feel no matter what I do it comes back harder

Imaan7

Date posted: 4y

How much can you afford to pay per week if you dont mind me asking bro?

Keepgoing1995

Date posted: 4y

Nothing right now I barley make my bills

Imaan7

Date posted: 4y

Is there anyone in the family that can help you out? If you dig deep into finding ocd therapists you can definitely find someone even under 100$/session. Atleast, look into therapists in your state, call em or email and ask them if they offer sliding scale.

Keepgoing1995

Date posted: 4y

@Imaan7 I’m gonna try dude I’m scared of what they will tell me I’m just gay or trans fuck

Keepgoing1995

Date posted: 4y

@Imaan7 The most fucked up part about this man is 11 years of my life basically gone wasted because I didn’t live my life during this the complete opposite I didn’t want to be around people anymore no self confidence no life just sit in a room and drink so fucked up the cards dealt to us were just messed up man

Imaan7

Date posted: 4y

@Andrew Late reply but I understand man, if you havent turned gay in 11 years of dealing with this it should be a wake up call that you have hocd and need help. Unfortunately for me I dont think its the case, i firmly believe Im not straight as much I like to be but I do feel you how shit out lives became after this started. You will be ok man, research into therapy, Go to the IOCDF website and look for therapists in your state.

Imaan7

Date posted: 4y

@Andrew My brain has gotten so numb that I cant even cry, failing all my classes, isolating myself from friends and family completely, just a total shit show of my life. I too dont feel like going to therapy bc in my case i think I already know the answer but I have to stay alive for my mother, the only reason I havent shot my brains out yet. Check out that website man and talk to someone, alot of therapists offer lower rates if you let them know.

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