I'm really thinking it's not OCD I'm dealing with, but just anxiety, because my anxiety continues all day, and I'm not fearing anything but being alone. I feel like my depression is feeding into my anxiety making it harder to be by myself without being afraid. I keep contradicting myself, and all of you who read my posts know that. But basically, the only thing I fear is losing a loved one. I don't fear death myself, I'm just selfish enough to say I would rather be the first one to go, although I know God is the only one who knows who goes when. As far as OCD, I don't think not wanting to cook or do dishes is an example of what it is. Neither is wanting to be done with after dinner chores at 7:00 pm for relaxation time before bed. Maybe, me hearing others using the Lord's name in vain, cussing, yelling, hitting another person, being disrespectful to others etc would be. Being unable to make up my mind might be. Using a Jack Sparrow saying,"What say you."

It sounds like you're obsessing about being alone though, that could be OCD if you're ruminating about the thought of being alone all day and it causes you a lot of anxiety. I don't specifically worry about being alone, but I can relate to depression feeding into my anxiety though to the point that it makes it hard for me to be myself as well. I feel like I wear a fake smile a lot, but there's a lot of moments too though when I'm really happy and I'm not having to wear a fake smile. I feel kind of bipolar maybe? But anyways, just because you don't fear death yourself but you fear losing someone else doesn't mean it's not OCD. And even though you know God is the only one who knows who goes when, it doesn't change the fact that you still worry and obsess about a loved one of yours dying. Everyone worries about dying or other people dying to some extent, but I'd say if you're sitting around feeling anxious about it all day or for most of the day then it's probably OCD. But that's just my opinion, I hope it is helpful though. I can also relate to not wanting to do regular everyday things like cooking or doing dishes or doing laundry. I do those things regularly but they give me some stress while doing them if I take longer to do them than I want to be doing them or if someone interrupts me doing something. I also want to be done with everything I know I have to do in a day by a certain time too, if I get done later than I'd like to (which is most of the time) then I normally feel kind of stressed and anxious or frustrated too. It bothers me to hear people using God's name in vain, cussing, yelling, hitting another person, being disrespectful to others etc. too, I just don't like hearing people talk like that, especially when it's people in real life, not so much on TV but also on TV sometimes too though. I'm also very indecisive too (unable to make up mind), I get stressed when I have to make a decision, even something small like "what should we eat for dinner?" or "what should we do tonight?". I just wanted you to know that I struggle with a lot of the same things that you're struggling with and to remind you that you're not alone in the anxiety that you're feeling. I don't know if I offered much encouragement though, but I hope and pray that you'll find peace as you continue in your journey through life. I hope and pray that all of us on here will find peace through OCD and everything else that we're facing too. God bless my friend! :)

I'm glad I could help you feel validated and understood. I think all of us with OCD struggle in more similar ways than we may even realize sometimes. And you're right, a lot of the different types of OCD are really scary and I can't imagine struggling with some of the types that others struggle with, but at the same time I know the types that I struggle with bring me a lot of stress too. I'm glad to be here to give support and receive support from others, it really makes a big difference to have friends by your side who understand and care for you. :) and wow! That's so cool that your Doctors name is Tony Stark! 😀 I'm sure him and the ladies at the front desk do hear comments about him being Ironman a lot, lol. I'm sorry that your husband has a lot of appointments and surgery soon, I hope and pray that his health will improve and he will feel better from all of this. I hope and pray that your appointments will all go well too and that you can find a safe way to get to them since you're not driving right now. I'll also be in prayer for your depression and anxiety to go away, but just remember that you can make it through this, nothing is impossible with God, He can handle anything that you face in life. God bless my friend! :)