does anyone else have an intense fear of jinxing yourself?? for example if someone asks how my day is going i don’t want to say it’s going good because what if something terrible happens after i say that? anyone else?

Anyone else have repeated thoughts that play that are negative. Basically a back and forth of you telling yourself you don't want X to happen but having a thought that slips saying you do. Like being stressed out one day and saying "man I wish I were dead". But instead of letting it roll through your mind and thinking nothing of it, you obsess if you actually want that outcome for yourself and you are now scared you'd fatally harm yourself whenever you feel anxious or stressed even though you know you wouldn't. So now I repeatedly get I wanna die stuck in my head and I feel the compulsive need to say no I don't to combat the thoughts and it happens throughout the day and even when I wake up.

I don't know if this is exactly a compulsion, but for a few months I had this mindset of "I have to be anxious so that nothing bad will happen." It was mostly when I went out in any way. Sometimes it was for other people too. For example if my mom went to the store/to get food without me. This was mostly during the time when I had been staying inside constantly for a little over a month. Idk if it was an exact cause but I had seen someone who FOLLOWED me last year, hence why I was staying inside. I guess I just want to know if this is common? I know that the whole "if I do this, then this won't happen" thing is common in ocd, but idk how common it is to somewhat force yourself to be anxious.

So does anybody ever have moments where something happens and it triggers anxiety and they can't choose whether they should or shouldn't confess to others about it? I was talking with a friend and I noticed that saliva flew out of my mouth and looked like it got into food and I wanted to say something but I just couldn't get passed whether I should or not because of the anxiety and then I ended up not saying anything and I feel awful about it. Then an insect flew into my side of the food and I ate it anyway because I really didn't want it to go to waste.