Hi lh2000, I am sorry you feel that way, but I can relate. I spent the majority of my life feeling like I was a not a good person, I never felt like any good deeds or actions I had ever done were enough to outweigh the bad actions or intrusive thoughts I had. I didn’t know what intrusive thoughts were or why I had them, just thought because I had them that made me a bad person, not worth anything. I am not sure if you feel that way because of your obsessions or thoughts, but we are not our thoughts, just because they may be unpleasant or against what we believe, they do not define us. If it’s not because of your thoughts, I would suggest trying to focus on the goods things you have done and and the people you have in your life. Chances are, if you really were a bad person or neutral at best, would they be your friends, associates, partner? I know that is easier said than done, especially when you add OCD in the equation, heck even now I tend more than I’d like to, to focus on what is missing/what I’ve done wrong or screwed up and not what I’ve done right or any good that I’ve done, but no matter what you have done, said or thought, you need to first forgive yourself and stop being so hard on yourself. I bet you have more evidence that you are a better person than you give yourself credit for, just ask the people that care about you. Best wishes and take care of yourself.
Thank you. That really helped. I do have a hard time forgiving myself, and I struggle with letting the bad out way the good. Your comment made me feel better and feel seen, so again, thank you.
You are very welcome, glad I could help. I have been struggling with the same thinking my entire life. It is so much harder for me to forgive myself or see myself in any sort of positive light than it is for those around me. But we are both better people than we give ourselves credit for.