For anybody going through a hard time regardless of your sub type or regardless of your mental health struggle. I truly recommend watching “Hector and The Search for Happiness”. I have seen this movie before and it gives me chills, anxiety, fear, and happiness. It truly is a good ERP tool. It’s helped me in many ways tonight. It really gives me hope for a future I want so badly. I know everyone on this app has a glimmer of light in there dark cave and I can promise you this movie will make that light shine brighter. It puts things in perspective and can really make all your emotions spill out and you can identify each emotion for what they are. My OCD and Depression itself tried its absolute hardest to make me want to avoid this movie. However, when you can truly release all the pent up anxiety, fear, and sadness you feel it will help you. I love you all and we will get through this. Much love💗

I am FINALLY starting to (somewhat) recover from this last existential spiral, which admittedly, was probably the cruelest my OCD has ever been to me. Only thanks to you all. You were all able to provide me with kindness, understanding and support… without the kind of reassurance that feeds OCD, of course. When I downloaded this app, I was genuinely terrified. I was so scared that I was permanently doomed to the endless whirlpool that is the thoughts produced by my own brain and that life as I knew it was over, that I would never be happy again. For anyone who might be feeling that way right now, your OCD is LYING to you! Whatever you may be going through, it CAN get better. As hard as it may be right now, HAVE FAITH! Get up and do that thing you want to do in spite of the fear and discomfort. Take the fear with you like a whiny, unwilling toddler and do it anyway. Watch the movie, read the book, order that takeout you’ve been craving, bake the cake, wash the dishes… Please do it anyway! It will be hard at first, I won’t lie. But the OCD part of your brain, like a toxic partner, WANTS to win. It wants you to give up on those things that you love, all those things that make you happy so that there’s no space for anything but itself. Don’t let it win. The more you push yourself, the more you rewire your brain to realize that as much as it may feel like, the obsession doesn’t matter! Thanks to you all, even without therapy (YET - I’m starting that journey on Tuesday because there’s still a lot to unpack, and I know that OCD won’t just magically go away), I was able to get a basic understanding of ERP and learning to sit with discomfort and how to live life in spite of it, rather than letting it take over my very being. So for that, I thank this community. I think I would be in a very different place right now if it weren’t for the people I’ve met here who truly understood my experiences. I hope you have a wonderful day. Please don’t give up. You deserve to be happy, no matter what your brain is telling you ❤️

I wanted to share with you guys some of the things that have helped me in the past few weeks! If you’re open to it, maybe try a few and see how you feel! First I would really recommend leaning on God. If you’re not a believer you may be skeptical but if you’ve never tried to read the Bible, prayer or even just talking with God, I would recommend so much! My relationship with God has gotten so much better through this terrible illness and in turn I have noticed a lot of positivity, I feel substantially better since I’ve been trying to bring this to God instead of worry about it myself. If you can give your worries to God and learn to have faith that he is with you, loves and forgives you. You have a great step towards recovery and even just a more positive life. Next, try going outside! I know it sounds kinda dumb but I mean it! Some of my best days started with just going outside, reading a book and or listening to music. I went out and tanned, ate some fruit with some lemonade and read “Girl Wash Your Face” it was a great book! I would spend HOURS and it helped me so much! Take a walk, hike, etc.! This leads into the next thing…READING! I recently bought the new book “don’t believe everything you think” and the workbook and it is amazing! This also applies to reading your Bible and other books, specially ones targeting self help and things like that! Another thing is fitness! Try out the gym, I know there is days that you just can’t bring yourself to get up but in those days, make yourself go to the gym! Even if you just go walk on the treadmill or bike! Anything is better than nothing! Keep yourself active, I promise it will make you feel better! Find a good podcast! I have been listening to (The OCD Stories on Spotify), sometimes I’ve even listened while I was going to sleep and let it play through the night! Go on YouTube and follow Chrissie Hodges, NOCD and look for other people who help! Go on instagram and follow Chrissie Hodges, NOCD, iocdf, sincerelyocd, recoverocd, letstalk.ocd, my lovely ocd and there are so many more! Find good music! Again I’m going to bring up worship music some of my favs being ( I Thank God, Move of God, Hard fought Hallelujah, The Truth, Made for more, Thy Will, and there is so many more!) if you would like I can share my playlist! But overall music is so helpful and if you are not a believer or want something different I would recommend songs by Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Kesha, Rihanna, Demi Lovato, Kelly Clarkson, even Billy Joel, Queen, Beck, and things of that nature that are gonna get you PUMPED UP! Lastly, hang out with PEOPLE! Don’t let OCD rule your life, put your ocd in a box best you can and go live your life! Get lunch with a friend, join a bible study, go get a massage, even just meet up with a friend and talk in a parking lot while shoving your face with fast food! You NEED interaction as much as you don’t want to! I know some of these are hard, some is triggering or you’re nervous that you’re gonna spiral, but step out of your comfort zone! That’s the way to get better! Do things that make you feel uncomfortable, the things that are unknown, the things you used to do before this! You can still live and love your life you don’t have to keep just “surviving”! And this isn’t a fix all, trust me I still have my days where I’m like nope I’m staying in bed and crying, but you need to push yourself! No one is coming to hold your hand and walk you out of this, you have to want to help yourself too! And you can do that! I know it’s scary and uncomfortable but you got this! We’re gonna kick some OCD butt! I hope you find this helpful and I wish you the most luck! Comment if you have questions and whatnot! 🫶

Last night I watched The Aviator (2004) for the very first time and I am shook at how much I related to Leonardo DiCaprio's depiction of Howard Hughes and his severe OCD. I never realized just how differently OCD can present, not just with the germ theme but as agoraphobia and not eating and verbal looping. If I had seen this when I was younger I wondered if I would have caught on sooner that I had severe OCD and not have been misdiagnosed until age 41 with other severe mental illnesses. If I had seen the scenes of Howard Hughes's mental breakdowns in The Aviator (2004) ... They looked so much like mine. Too much like mine. But without knowing about Exposure Response Therapy I still wouldn't have done anything about it. Deep down I knew I had it, probably knew by my late twenties, I just didn't have a name for it because they depicted OCD as these weird little actions you have to do before you do what you want, like turn a light on and off or count ceiling tiles, and not the things I do. And they never explained what was behind the compulsion, so I didn't know I was performing compulsions. I just wondered why I was exhausted all the time and had trouble with executive functioning. But the signs were there ever since I was a child. If I couldn't do it perfectly or figure out a way to do it perfectly I wouldn't initiate anything. Not for lack of initiative. So I wasn't washing my hands to bleeding or eating only 6 peas. I was writing until my hands were sore, memorizing Bible verses, uncontrollably glitching verbal loops, and suffering sleepless nights because my bedroom walls were not the exact shade of blue I wanted or I didn't start the day in the right order and it felt life-threatening. I remember in sixth grade I yelled out, "Spider!" That gave me the feeling of safety I chased and then I literally could not stop yelling it out, I was even annoying myself and everyone else and telling people I couldn't stop but all that would come out is the word "spider!" So I grew up miserable thinking I was the weird little girl in class not knowing I was sick. And that turned into the weird adult trying to hide the fact they were weird from everyone else until I broke over and over again. And that's when my adulthood sometimes looked like being frozen on the couch, porch, or bedroom for days, weeks, months convinced everything was crawling with bugs and avoiding everyone's phone calls and eating only popsicles, doctors thinking my repetitive glitch brain meant I was hearing voices and my lack of hygiene was something else. I was afraid of the harm I did, I was afraid I was in trouble, I was afraid I'd harmed other people without knowing it, and I was afraid I was too gross to love. This is still true to this day. Under the care of professionals almost all my life and only correctly diagnosed at age 41 when it feels like it's too late to make it better because I've been burned out for years is daunting. But I'm still here and it's been almost six years since my last hospitalization. I no longer think I am a monster. That in itself is more than I ever dreamed of.