Hi guys I’m freaking out again! I was making cookies for my boyfriend and family and I was taste testing the batter. I a chip that was in my mouth fell into the batter. I’m really worried because of my previous post. The previous post were about how I didn’t realize the toilet paper was sitting on top of dried up blood and I’m really worried about having HIV or any other worst possible disease. So when it fell back into the bowl I got the thought of what if I give my boyfriend and family HIV if I bake them the cookies and eat it. I realize that I used my finger to taste test the batter so it probably has my saliva on it. I’m scared of giving it to them. I haven’t baked them yet it’s in the fridge cooling. I feel like throwing away the batter :( idk what to do because I was really excited to make cookies but now they are tainted

Hello! Throwing this out is feeding into your fear of having HIV. That thought you are having is not a thought we need to pay attention to. Throwing the food out is completing a compulsion and will make you feel better for now but won’t last long. Your thoughts don’t control you!! Take a deep breathe, enjoy your cookies and know that OCD is trying to play with how you feel because it knows what bothers you. I am not going to directly reassure you but I am going to tell you that you’re stronger than you think!! Nothing is certain.

I know you were excited to make the cookies, and wasting the batter after feeling exciting is upsetting, but if you really are worried about any contamination, I would throw it away and start over, or try again later. It’s okay that it didn’t work out this time!

I hear your fear! It’s so real and can be very painful. Unless you’re unaware of how HIV is transmitted, it sounds like you’re either asking for reassurance or engaging in a compulsion to confess. This is a great place to engage in ERP if you know how. It’s not fun and it can be really scary, but you’ve got this!

Do not throw it out