- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks man! Lou I’m happy to hear the ERP is going well for you. I hope it will work for me, will see how it goes tomorrow. Have a good day guys
Good luck tomorrow Lewis, it's hard to begin with, but it works.
Yay found it!! Let us know how you get on Lewis xx
I’m not afraid of feeling like ****. Been putting up with it for so long, it’s kinda ‘normal’ now. Will do, thanks guys
Right, so I went to the therapist. She said to go home and write down, then record my worst fear/scenario. Then listen to it Lou/Garrett any tips for this? Not saying my Therapist isn’t useful, we just didn’t do it in the session?
Well Lou might be better to advise you on this Lewis, but I do know, be careful not to include any reassurance in it.
I’ve found examples online, but will wait for Lou to get back to me ? Have you done an ERP script?
Hi Lewis. Well, yes that is a start. But really she should have gone through it in the session possible. If you write it down on your own you are more likely to give yourself reassurance without sometimes even knowing it. Or you could write it down and let her read it first. I actually record all of my sessions on my phone so I did my erp with my therapist and recorded it with him. Have a go at it though Lewis. You can always email it to me and I can take a look. And trust me I have had the WORST thoughts EVER and nothing would bother me! Xx
Hi guys how are we doing? I had a slight wobble today as I haven't listened to the erp for about 5 days and hadn't been out jogging.....so started again today! How are you guys getting on now? X
Yeah keep at it Lou . Finished with my therapist today as he felt I could become reliant on therapy sessions. Hoping I'll manage without that safety net, but sure can only try.
Yep I will keep at it Garrett! Yes I thought I was becoming reliant on my therapist too. I am okay just need to keep at the erp.....trouble is with me once i feel better I don't carry on with the things I should do and come complacent! Xx
Hey guys ,how are you both doing. Therapist told me ,only come back if strategies aren't working. If I'm not applying strategies, then I should know what I need to do. Feels hard and not a great day, but it's down to anxiety about dealing with it without that help. Fingers crossed things 'll be ok.
Hi Garrett. How are you? X
Hi nocd. I'm a little confused why my post was deleted! Sorry!
Hi Lou, what happened there, didn't see the post
Yeah one of my messages was deleted too
Not sure really! There was nothing bad in it! How are you? I'm having another session with my therapist today. Like I said I didn't listen to the erp for about a week and have started again this week. The OCD has crept back doubting if it is OCD again as it is taking longer to go than ithasnin the past but then again this had been the longest bout I have everbhad I suppose! I felt great last week and the weather was lovely which really helped. Just hope I can get back on track again. X
You will Lou, just stick with it. Just remember, to refuse to interact with the thoughts outside of the ERP. I was told ,to stick with it, until it just bores you.
Yes same here. I know I will really laugh about this one when it has fully gone! I do laugh at it when I am listening to it sometimes!
Hi Garrett and Lewis......hope you are okay Lewis...you have probably been told to keep away from sites like this bit Garrett and me are her to encourage tour recovery as I hope you guys are xx
Hi Garrett....how are you doing? X
whats up guys what are some tips dealing with ocd and what to do when a thought makes u anxious ??
Just woke up and feel terrible about my events and everything. Is there someone available?
TW: SO-OCD. I have been a part of the NOCD community for around 4 years now. I am seeing more and more posts, but I am very rarely seeing people actually commenting, reposting and engaging back. I think I have always had obsessive thoughts, but never knew it was a thing until around 5 years ago. I believe my first theme was Harm OCD, when my little brother was first born in 2007. I used to scream at night as I was so worried he was going to be kidnapped, or he may d*e. I would avoid sleeping at friends house's, my dad's (as my parents had split) as I thought if I wasn't there to protect him then something bad would happen. My mum said she would wake up and I would be asleep net to his cot in the morning (I was only 10 at the time). Fast forward to 2017, where me and my high school boyfriend split up, I convinced myself I may be gay as I no longer wanted to have sex with him (almost found it a chore). I was 16/17. We split up and I lived my 'single' life. Spent my time dating males etc and then myself and my ex got back together in 2018. My intrusive thoughts took a turn for the worst in lockdown, when again may libido decreased significantly, and I didn't feel and ;urge' with my boyfriend sStill current partner). I remember one day, bursting into tears, had a panic attack and cried for hours with the most excruciating anxiety chest pains. I told him and my mum about my thoughts. They are both incredibly supportive and my mu actually told me that she had these thoughts too when she was round 19 and still does now (I also didn't know that COD can be inherited). After about 18 months of the worst mental health, significant weight loss, social thoughts and almost ending my relationship, I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. 2022, things started to get better. My partner and I were in the best place we could have EVER been! Sex life was AMAZING (quality of quantity I mean) and I honestly thought, this was the end. March 2024 I fell pregnant. Again, I had a great pregnancy, sec life was great, was so excited for our future. I have never been one to be bothered about marriage, but kept having this lovely vision of us getting married and our little girl walking down the aisle. Baby girls born in November 2024 and BAM, SO-OCD and ROCD have kicked in. I am now questioning my sexuality again, if I am in the right relationship, am I just 'settling'?, does he deserve me?, am I in denial?, what if we get married and then it turns out I am gay?, I don't want him to propose as I am scared etc. Just relentless every single day. I even question, if any of the conversations I have had with family and friends where they have related to me, were even real or if I made them up for my own comfort, so that I do't feel alone?! I am constantly reviewing past events, as I worry that I wanted to explore my sexuality in university, as I remember having an amazing friendship with a lesbian (who was, I am not afraid to admit, very 'handsome'), and we did flirt, as she did with everyone!! But we never took it any further, it never crossed my mind! I almost don't even get the 'anxiety/'sick' feeling anymore because I am SO used to the thoughts. I don't have an urge to act on my thoughts, but they are also no longer debilitating for me. I just feel exhausted with them. They are ALWAYS there. I have gone down the rabbit hole of avoiding meeting new women friends incase 'I find them attractive', if there is a same sex couple on a program I watch, I automatically avoid. I compare my relationship to others. I saw an insta reel yesterday of a women in her 30's that said 'when you're lay in bed with your husband, searching 'Am I Gay' questionnaires and you decide to divorce and follow your heart' and it was a page dedicated to her helping other mid life adults cope with coming out as gay! It really really really triggered me. I am just exhausted. If anybody else wants to share there story, comment below. It doesn't have to be the same sub types, but just an opportunity to vent!
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond