At what point did you realize you just can’t perform your compulsions anymore?

I'm 45 and started experiencing intrusive thoughts around age 8. In August, I listened to a podcast that was not mental health related. The guest was a woman who lives with OCD. I realized I had experienced many of the same things. I didn't think it was possible that I could have OCD for 37 years and not realize it. Up to that point, I thought OCD was just handwashing and liking things neat and organized. I had neither. But once I started researching OCD, things clicked into place. Once I knew what to look for, I realized I had OCD for most of my life. Shortly before starting treatment was one of the darkest times in my life. I needed to find out for sure if I really had OCD. I knew I had to do something different. I was sick and tired of doing nothing but give into my compulsions. Once I got diagnosed, I was ready to go all in. ERP has been life changing for me. I haven't reached recovery yet, but I will get there.