- Username
- bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Username
- juni ✨juni ✨
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hello! I am so sorry you are going through this. False memories is one of my biggest themes so I definitely know how hard it can be. The only way to deal with them is to accept the uncertainty. I can probably imagine that you are trying to put all the pieces together and trying your best to remember everything. The truth is, you will never know. The more you try to go back to the memory, the more real it will feel and you will start to add all these false details to the point where you’re confused. I know it makes it harder when you think you did something horrific, but if I can offer any peace to your healing it would be that 2 months ago I had the worst time in my life relating to false memory. I was so disgusted and so totured by my mind. Today, I don’t even think about it. It doesn’t affect me like it did 2 months ago and that’s because I had to accept that maybe I did do the thing I’m so worried about. There was no way that I would remember it perfectly and that in itself help me understand that I needed to move on. I hope one day you can find peace and serenity. This too shall pass and I’m rooting for you. 🤍🤍
- Username
- bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you so much for this advice, you have no idea how much it helped. Sometimes I feel terrible because it comes to my mind that I can't go on living if I have done this bad thing, I have been for three days now with a lot of anxiety and it's like there is no way out. I hate so much having to deal with POCD.
- Username
- juni ✨juni ✨
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@mar3 I’m glad I could help! I literally had a false memory last night 🙈 These thoughts are so common!! I know the feeling of thinking, “How can I move on” and “How can I live normally not knowing if I did something just horrific and immoral.” That is what I thought two months ago when I was in a dark place. Now, the thought doesn’t hold as much pain so I hope that can be an example of letting you know there IS a way out. Trust me! Just keep fighting the thoughts and staying strong. Much love 🤍🤍
- Username
- bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@LUNA ✨ I'll keep trying! Thank you very much!!
- Username
- halespineapple18halespineapp...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Omg I can relate to this chat so much. To speak plainly, I get so afraid that what if I’ve molested a child when I was a teenager. The thought occurred to me when I was 20 and made me spiral because why would I have that thought if it wasn’t true. And I’ve done ERP for it and I was in recovery but this winter it’s flaring up again and I’ve been trying to resist compulsions and trying to figure out the memory but it feels real. Today I had the thought “only you know the truth” and it was so freaking scary because I don’t know the truth but it’s like I have to figure it out, and yet I know that I can’t because it’s been five years since I had that awful thought and started obsessing over it. And similarly, I think I may have had an intrusive thought at the time “like oh yeah that’s what P’s do to kids” or something but I don’t remember wanting to harm a child at all.
- Username
- bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y ago
What happened to me is very similar to your situation, the difference is that it is more recent. I was with my cousin and my aunt and just out of the blue a bad and disgusting thought came to my mind and since then I keep asking myself "What if I did something bad to this child?" it is just too suffocating. I understand the feeling of "only you know the truth"
- Username
- halespineapple18halespineapp...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@mar3 I understand, my incident would have happened 10ish years ago so my brain says it’s even harder to remember and that I did it and just “forgot about it” It’s very suffocating but I’m working on ERP again, just did a script and yesterday reading it felt awful like it was making it real. Reading it today for the 2nd time is easier. We can live without knowing I promise
- Username
- bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@halespineapple18 How do you make this script? I want to try to do ERP but I don't know exactly how
- Username
- halespineapple18halespineapp...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@mar3 I have a therapist! She helped me write it two years ago and this month I just rewrote it under her direction to get more exposure. I would recommend getting a therapist because doing ERP the first time is very overwhelming
- Username
- halespineapple18halespineapp...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@mar3 You basically just write out the scene exactly how ocd says it happened and then you have to sit with the anxiety of accepting it and not trying to figure it out or analyze it
- Username
- bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@halespineapple18 Got it! Well, I'll try to see a therapist then. Thank you very much for the conversation and the tips, I feel that the anxiety is decreasing little by little
- Username
- halespineapple18halespineapp...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@mar3 Of course! My ocd always presents in the “past” with false memories it feels harder but it’s still just ocd
- Username
- OCDHaver OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I struggle with this too, and it’s really, really hard. I did something really gross when I believe I was 15, and I’ve done a lot of gross things before and after, but the thing that bothers me the most is that if I did what my brain told me to do, then I would absolutely k*ll myself. I think I may have had a thought that day and may have thought, “Ew that’s gross, I would never forgive myself” but I’m scared I may have wanted to do it, idk, but I hate myself so much
- Username
- bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I feel the same way :/ The need for a way to know if I did something bad is so suffocating, it's like my life depends on it
Related posts
- Username
- NaggingOCD
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Anyone know how to know the difference between real and false memory because I don’t know if it’s false but feels real it’s fits in with what happened in the best and it’s just the worst to deal with
- Username
- arrow
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Anyone struggle with false memories? If so, how do you cope?
- Username
- RemiReed
- Date posted
- 47w ago
False memories anyone else?
It starts off with thinking you’ve done something wrong but it’s hazy it doesn’t say what but it fits with what you’re afraid of. It then starts adding pictures and scenarios and they start to become more and more detailed until you don’t know what’s real or not anymore. I’ve struggled with this for almost 15 years of the same false memories occasionally adding more details. Has anyone else had this experience of false memories becoming so detailed it’s hard to argue against?
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