bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y
juni ✨juni ✨
- Date posted
- 3y
Hello! I am so sorry you are going through this. False memories is one of my biggest themes so I definitely know how hard it can be. The only way to deal with them is to accept the uncertainty. I can probably imagine that you are trying to put all the pieces together and trying your best to remember everything. The truth is, you will never know. The more you try to go back to the memory, the more real it will feel and you will start to add all these false details to the point where you’re confused. I know it makes it harder when you think you did something horrific, but if I can offer any peace to your healing it would be that 2 months ago I had the worst time in my life relating to false memory. I was so disgusted and so totured by my mind. Today, I don’t even think about it. It doesn’t affect me like it did 2 months ago and that’s because I had to accept that maybe I did do the thing I’m so worried about. There was no way that I would remember it perfectly and that in itself help me understand that I needed to move on. I hope one day you can find peace and serenity. This too shall pass and I’m rooting for you. 🤍🤍
bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for this advice, you have no idea how much it helped. Sometimes I feel terrible because it comes to my mind that I can't go on living if I have done this bad thing, I have been for three days now with a lot of anxiety and it's like there is no way out. I hate so much having to deal with POCD.
juni ✨juni ✨
- Date posted
- 3y
@mar3 I’m glad I could help! I literally had a false memory last night 🙈 These thoughts are so common!! I know the feeling of thinking, “How can I move on” and “How can I live normally not knowing if I did something just horrific and immoral.” That is what I thought two months ago when I was in a dark place. Now, the thought doesn’t hold as much pain so I hope that can be an example of letting you know there IS a way out. Trust me! Just keep fighting the thoughts and staying strong. Much love 🤍🤍
bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y
@LUNA ✨ I'll keep trying! Thank you very much!!
halespineapple18halespineapp...
- Date posted
- 3y
Omg I can relate to this chat so much. To speak plainly, I get so afraid that what if I’ve molested a child when I was a teenager. The thought occurred to me when I was 20 and made me spiral because why would I have that thought if it wasn’t true. And I’ve done ERP for it and I was in recovery but this winter it’s flaring up again and I’ve been trying to resist compulsions and trying to figure out the memory but it feels real. Today I had the thought “only you know the truth” and it was so freaking scary because I don’t know the truth but it’s like I have to figure it out, and yet I know that I can’t because it’s been five years since I had that awful thought and started obsessing over it. And similarly, I think I may have had an intrusive thought at the time “like oh yeah that’s what P’s do to kids” or something but I don’t remember wanting to harm a child at all.
bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y
What happened to me is very similar to your situation, the difference is that it is more recent. I was with my cousin and my aunt and just out of the blue a bad and disgusting thought came to my mind and since then I keep asking myself "What if I did something bad to this child?" it is just too suffocating. I understand the feeling of "only you know the truth"
halespineapple18halespineapp...
- Date posted
- 3y
@mar3 I understand, my incident would have happened 10ish years ago so my brain says it’s even harder to remember and that I did it and just “forgot about it” It’s very suffocating but I’m working on ERP again, just did a script and yesterday reading it felt awful like it was making it real. Reading it today for the 2nd time is easier. We can live without knowing I promise
bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y
@halespineapple18 How do you make this script? I want to try to do ERP but I don't know exactly how
halespineapple18halespineapp...
- Date posted
- 3y
@mar3 I have a therapist! She helped me write it two years ago and this month I just rewrote it under her direction to get more exposure. I would recommend getting a therapist because doing ERP the first time is very overwhelming
halespineapple18halespineapp...
- Date posted
- 3y
@mar3 You basically just write out the scene exactly how ocd says it happened and then you have to sit with the anxiety of accepting it and not trying to figure it out or analyze it
bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y
@halespineapple18 Got it! Well, I'll try to see a therapist then. Thank you very much for the conversation and the tips, I feel that the anxiety is decreasing little by little
halespineapple18halespineapp...
- Date posted
- 3y
@mar3 Of course! My ocd always presents in the “past” with false memories it feels harder but it’s still just ocd
OCDHaver OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y
I struggle with this too, and it’s really, really hard. I did something really gross when I believe I was 15, and I’ve done a lot of gross things before and after, but the thing that bothers me the most is that if I did what my brain told me to do, then I would absolutely k*ll myself. I think I may have had a thought that day and may have thought, “Ew that’s gross, I would never forgive myself” but I’m scared I may have wanted to do it, idk, but I hate myself so much
bm111111bm111111
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel the same way :/ The need for a way to know if I did something bad is so suffocating, it's like my life depends on it
Related posts
pooppartypooper
- Date posted
- 23w
Well that memory is false but a new one came up.
Same theme of harming my family member in a similar way the details what I said and what was shown to them and the environment around me but that’s all I can get it’s hard to focus on the environment only what I said and what I did. This memory keeps coming up and leaving its instant. They seem to be ok the one in question I also don’t have a timeline if I harmed them no timeline like I did it this time or I don’t remember. I don’t rmemenr actually ever doing this. I felt like a creep because this woman days ago made me feel like one I internalized that and now my mind has been picking up thoughts or “memories” of harming my family member but I can’t ever rmemenr doing anything like that plus the dream or “memory” when I had it was in another state years ago but it only came up now.
strike1207
- Date posted
- 22w
Can someone please help. I’m struggling.
I have had the same false memory/instrusive image of me doing something horrible to someone when I was 12 and they were younger. It is a memory based on a real event. I truly don’t know if it’s real or not but obviously, the more I think about it the more I think it’s true. This has led my mind to become slightly paranoid. I worry that if this horrible image in my head is true then one day the person I might have hurt will come and k*ll me. I’m really scared I feel like I won’t feel better as long as this “memory” is in my head. Does anyone have advice?
beatriceee
- Date posted
- 17w
false memory
can a false memory feel very very very real? because i literally don’t know if something happened or not. absolutely no clue but it feels so real
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