- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hello! I am so sorry you are going through this. False memories is one of my biggest themes so I definitely know how hard it can be. The only way to deal with them is to accept the uncertainty. I can probably imagine that you are trying to put all the pieces together and trying your best to remember everything. The truth is, you will never know. The more you try to go back to the memory, the more real it will feel and you will start to add all these false details to the point where you’re confused. I know it makes it harder when you think you did something horrific, but if I can offer any peace to your healing it would be that 2 months ago I had the worst time in my life relating to false memory. I was so disgusted and so totured by my mind. Today, I don’t even think about it. It doesn’t affect me like it did 2 months ago and that’s because I had to accept that maybe I did do the thing I’m so worried about. There was no way that I would remember it perfectly and that in itself help me understand that I needed to move on. I hope one day you can find peace and serenity. This too shall pass and I’m rooting for you. 🤍🤍
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for this advice, you have no idea how much it helped. Sometimes I feel terrible because it comes to my mind that I can't go on living if I have done this bad thing, I have been for three days now with a lot of anxiety and it's like there is no way out. I hate so much having to deal with POCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
@mar3 I’m glad I could help! I literally had a false memory last night 🙈 These thoughts are so common!! I know the feeling of thinking, “How can I move on” and “How can I live normally not knowing if I did something just horrific and immoral.” That is what I thought two months ago when I was in a dark place. Now, the thought doesn’t hold as much pain so I hope that can be an example of letting you know there IS a way out. Trust me! Just keep fighting the thoughts and staying strong. Much love 🤍🤍
- Date posted
- 3y
@LUNA ✨ I'll keep trying! Thank you very much!!
- Date posted
- 3y
Omg I can relate to this chat so much. To speak plainly, I get so afraid that what if I’ve molested a child when I was a teenager. The thought occurred to me when I was 20 and made me spiral because why would I have that thought if it wasn’t true. And I’ve done ERP for it and I was in recovery but this winter it’s flaring up again and I’ve been trying to resist compulsions and trying to figure out the memory but it feels real. Today I had the thought “only you know the truth” and it was so freaking scary because I don’t know the truth but it’s like I have to figure it out, and yet I know that I can’t because it’s been five years since I had that awful thought and started obsessing over it. And similarly, I think I may have had an intrusive thought at the time “like oh yeah that’s what P’s do to kids” or something but I don’t remember wanting to harm a child at all.
- Date posted
- 3y
What happened to me is very similar to your situation, the difference is that it is more recent. I was with my cousin and my aunt and just out of the blue a bad and disgusting thought came to my mind and since then I keep asking myself "What if I did something bad to this child?" it is just too suffocating. I understand the feeling of "only you know the truth"
- Date posted
- 3y
@mar3 I understand, my incident would have happened 10ish years ago so my brain says it’s even harder to remember and that I did it and just “forgot about it” It’s very suffocating but I’m working on ERP again, just did a script and yesterday reading it felt awful like it was making it real. Reading it today for the 2nd time is easier. We can live without knowing I promise
- Date posted
- 3y
@halespineapple18 How do you make this script? I want to try to do ERP but I don't know exactly how
- Date posted
- 3y
@mar3 I have a therapist! She helped me write it two years ago and this month I just rewrote it under her direction to get more exposure. I would recommend getting a therapist because doing ERP the first time is very overwhelming
- Date posted
- 3y
@mar3 You basically just write out the scene exactly how ocd says it happened and then you have to sit with the anxiety of accepting it and not trying to figure it out or analyze it
- Date posted
- 3y
@halespineapple18 Got it! Well, I'll try to see a therapist then. Thank you very much for the conversation and the tips, I feel that the anxiety is decreasing little by little
- Date posted
- 3y
@mar3 Of course! My ocd always presents in the “past” with false memories it feels harder but it’s still just ocd
- Date posted
- 3y
I struggle with this too, and it’s really, really hard. I did something really gross when I believe I was 15, and I’ve done a lot of gross things before and after, but the thing that bothers me the most is that if I did what my brain told me to do, then I would absolutely k*ll myself. I think I may have had a thought that day and may have thought, “Ew that’s gross, I would never forgive myself” but I’m scared I may have wanted to do it, idk, but I hate myself so much
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel the same way :/ The need for a way to know if I did something bad is so suffocating, it's like my life depends on it
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
Can it feel like you literally remember a false memory happening? And it feels like the memory has always been there and you vividly remember it happening that way? Because I don’t even know if I’m experiencing a false memory or not but god it feels so fucking real. Like I literally remember it happening. But what’s weird is the original memory was kind of different. 2 years later, the memory is not the same, but it feels like I literally remember it happening. And in this memory, I’m fucking snapping. I’m acting on my thoughts. I feel like a fucking psycho. I hope this is just OCD
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m reaching out for educational and self-awareness purposes, hoping to better understand something I’ve been mentally struggling with for several years. Around five years ago, I began having a deeply distressing memory involving the fear that I may have acted inappropriately toward my younger sister when I was around 13–14 years old. The details are vague, fragmented, and unclear—but ever since this thought first appeared, I’ve treated it as if it were a real event. I’ve carried immense guilt, fear, and anxiety for years, convinced that I must have done something horrible. Despite asking my sister (who remembers absolutely nothing, has never shown signs of discomfort, and has told me more than once that she would’ve spoken up if anything had happened), the doubt and guilt never went away. The memory feels real, yet there is no external confirmation, no direct recall, and no evidence beyond my own mental images and fear. I’ve also struggled with obsessive thoughts in other areas, such as health anxiety since childhood—frequent doctor visits, checking my pulse, obsessing over illness—and only recently learned about false memory OCD, which aligns with my experience. I’m not currently seeking therapy but would greatly appreciate your professional opinion from an educational perspective: Does this sound more like a real memory, or more likely a false memory created by OCD or anxiety-related mechanisms I am stuck between a normal person or a s*xual abuser
- Date posted
- 19w
I have had the same false memory/instrusive image of me doing something horrible to someone when I was 12 and they were younger. It is a memory based on a real event. I truly don’t know if it’s real or not but obviously, the more I think about it the more I think it’s true. This has led my mind to become slightly paranoid. I worry that if this horrible image in my head is true then one day the person I might have hurt will come and k*ll me. I’m really scared I feel like I won’t feel better as long as this “memory” is in my head. Does anyone have advice?
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