My real event has me believing I don’t deserve to live, to enjoy anything. It was bad, but I was 19 when it happened.

In an article I read about real event ocd, the therapist said that even if you don't feel like you deserve something you should act as though you do and hopefully the feelings will follow. Hopefully that makes sense. I've been where you are and it isn't easy. Sending you so much strength.

Same

this is literally me too. i’ll be going about my day & my brain will be like… remember that you’re a monster for things that happened when you were 18! so debilitating :/ you aren’t alone at all. sending you love!