my real event OCD has become so debilitating. the worst part is I really believe what I did was so irredeemable and it’s not just my OCD twisting it. it was truly bad and I don’t know how to move forward from it. I am trying so hard to move on but compulsions and the temporary relief they bring are consuming me. I have my first free call tomorrow and I’m nervous to say anything because I’m afraid my event and past actions are truly terrible and I don’t deserve to be redeemed. There are some things that people just can’t come back from and I feel like what I did is one of them. I don’t know what to do. hoping I can get treatment soon and feel like I deserve to live again.

I am going through this exact thing right now:( and it’s debilitating

I feel the same way..I'm always terrified all the things I did where things i can't come back from :( but please have hope! I'm sure the call will go great and you'll get the help you need 💕

Hey, you arent alone in feeling like this. There are things we have done in our past that make use feel like horrible monsters. Its the fact that we now feel this guilt that lets us know we aren’t the same person that we used to be before. Whatever it is that you have done, just know that it was a different you. You can cry about your past all you want, it will not change it. What you can change is your present. Learn to let go of the past by doing something good today. Do something good for someone today. It won’t immediately take away the feelings of guilt/real even ocd, but it will let you know that you did something good for once.