today has been such a long and exhausting day that’s resulted in about a million tears and feelings of giving up. everytime i feel marginally better my ocd takes some memory from my childhood and throws it at me as “evidence.” even though i believe in my ocd less, the thoughts still feel constant and unbearable. i can’t help but feel like my mind has been tainted forever. i know it isn’t useful to think this way, but for today at least, the battle seems to have been lost. it is so incredibly painful and exhausting to know that my mind has the ability to doubt anything and make me feel like anything is true. i know we all feel this way, but it’s so incredibly lonely. i hate ocd with every fiber of my being and i’ve started to feel more anger that scares me. this post is pointless but i feel like it’s better to type it out. i guess i’ll ask a question though: how does ERP work? i just don’t understand how it has the ability to retrain the brain ‘cause honestly even when i feel it’s getting better, i feel sick and sad that i could have ever considered these thoughts to be true. i love and hope everyone on this app feels like they can get better, because of this feeling of hopelessness is a feeling i would not wish on my worst enemy.

Also, when you start exposures, you should create a “hierarchy” which means that you rate your thoughts on an anxiety scale of 1 to 10 (or 1 to 100 whichever works for you) and then you start exposing yourself to the least scary thoughts and work your way up to the most scary thoughts. It takes time but its worth it and you have to stay on track by maybe setting a time for once a day to do this. Its common for people to push off exposures out of fear of doing it but staying on track with it is super effective. Stay strong love You got this and we’re all in this together❤️

Every persons OCD is different so its not easy to tell whose would get better without ERP. But ERP is SO recommended!! Don’t take the possibility that yours could get better without ERP, I encourage you to do it! I believe in you!!

ya i guess i just wonder b/c i’ve had other very serious OCD flareups in the past that recovered without therapy. even though it doesn’t feel like it, i was probably doing some form of ERP, though informally and unintentionally. that’s kind of what i’ve been doing during this entire flare-up, but i’m not so great at the letting the anxiety sit and instead would seek reassurance/avoid. but yeah, i don’t think this flare-up will be so easily beat so i’m going to work with ERP!! i can’t keep living this way, so i might as well do something serious to change it!!

ERP is triggering the thoughts that scare you so that you sit with the anxiety and see that the anxiety goes down after some minutes. You have to do this multiple times (or only a few times for some people) until your body starts to get less scared of the thought to the point where the thought doesn’t bother you. It’s a huge psychological effort but it gives you a light at the end of this OCD tunnel.

I’m glad that you have a strong willingness to start ERP! Not only can it make thoughts less scary but it can teach you tools that you can apply to your future intrusive thoughts. I wish you the best of luck!!

i don’t think this is reassurance, but maybe it is idk, but does every person with ocd need ERP? or do symptoms occasionally get better on their own. i’m mostly asking just because i’m curious, not because i think i can get better by myself.