- Username
- yadi77
- Date posted
- 324d ago
- Young adults with OCD
- Existential OCD
- Harm OCD
- Real Events OCD
Hiiii I have been dealing with OCD since I can remember although I didn’t recently know it was ocd ! I had some off the most irrational thoughts My compulsions started off as avoiding things as a form of “ protection “ or “good luck “ this was since I was a probably around age 12 and it would tell me too touch certain things like tables or avoiding steps on sidewalks and pieces of gum etc . until it felt just right , or avoid clothing or certain colors ! Then I honestly kind of understood these were just superstitions and then I looked back and said wow I can’t believe I use too do all those things ! But Subconsciously still did them 😅 but they didn’t affect me as much only when I would get triggered with certain situations like if I was getting broken up with or something I had too “watch my luck” it wasn’t until recently that I had a intrusive thought I would say it was the beginning of This year and I remember feeling so afraid of my own brain of why would this be coming out of my own brain whyyy!!!! I felt as if I couldn’t explain it to anyone it was soo out of my character (as it is for everyone else with OCD) I was SOO afraid and sad and confused and partially angry because I couldn’t shut it off I felt like a victim in my own brain !!! I felt on edge 24/7 stopped going too school and avoiding things that could possibly trigger me and sadly everything triggered me ! No one was undestanding me , my fear , my anxiety I didn’t even felt supported by my own therapist everyday felt like I was at my survival like I was just surviving but I wasn’t getting anything done it wasn’t until long ago where I said I need to reclaim my life back I’m tired of being on edge going through the feeling where I wasn’t a person anymore I was in constant dearlization because my body couldn’t take my sadness anymore I had too do something about this so I strongly did my own research of what I could do one of the things that helped me was the more you think about it the stickier the thought gets ! And rumination is hard but spending your life ruminating is harder live the life you have not the one ocd wants you live please have self compassion for yourself it is so important you deserve love no matter how much ocd thinks you don’t you do I came on here earlier and saw some of these notes and cried because I understand how hard doubt is especially with irrational thoughts feels like your lying and most importantly don’t try too seek 100 percent certainty in ocd it does not exist coe-exsist with ocd and uncomfortable feelings you have survived a lot please don’t judge your thoughts because they are not apart of you 🫶🏼