So lately my OCD flared up because of stress and anxiety triggered by an unrelated event. My thing with hit and run OCD / false memory OCD is specifically about backing out of a parking spot and hitting someone because I remember when I was little seeing news about cars backing out and hit children because driver didn’t see the kid. So now it’s a thing for me. Really stupid. Last weekend, I parked in a garage and by an elevator. It was underground and quite empty, I think only 5,6 cars parked near me. I have the backup camera so I know there wasn’t any people behind my car but still circled around 3 times, and kept looking at my rear view mirror when driving away. And now I’m thinking all the what if’s and checking local police news if they’re searching for hit and run persons, etc. The more I read the news, the scarier it is for me cuz they just add to my anxiety of all the “what ifs” I already have and thinking the police is going to show up and pick me up. I have a therapist but she’s not an OCD specialist but I’m reading some books and doing researches on ERP. If it gets worse, I’ll have to find a specialist because this is a lot. This isn’t my only ocd, but they all center around false memory “What if I did this horrible thing or that awful thing”. Any support is appreciated!
False Memory OCD - Community
I keep overthinking about if I may have hurt someone or made them uncomfortable. And I’m worrying about if whether or not this is an intrusive thought or it actually happened. The fact I deal with false memory OCD/POCD is so hard because I don’t know if it happened or not. I was hanging out with a guy and we never hooked up but did kiss and I’m over thinking about if I did something and made him uncomfortable. I’ve been overthinking about it with two different guys. We still have each other on social media and did not end anything on bad terms but I’m convincing myself I may have done something and cannot remember. This happened all the way back in 2019 (hanging out with the first guy) and 2021 (hanging out with the second guy). It is making me feel like if I did I don’t deserve to be happy, or to enjoy myself and everyone will hate me. It’s crazy to think about how I may be over thinking about something that never even happened but I’m convincing myself it did. Can anyone relate?
how do people cope with dealing with the uncertainity when its something so major and terrifying. i feel awful when i deal with the uncertainity because what if its just me covering up the fact i couldve done something disgusting. i know i didnt but my ocd wont leave me alone with the " what ifs "
I keep thinking what if I’ve done something wrong even walking past someone I will think of all sort of things I could have done. The idea of that I could have possibly done these things makes me petrified with fear. But what helps is there’s 0 evidence I’ve done anything wrong that’s what everyone says but my brain tries to find ways around it.
Does anyone know how to cope with intrusive thoughts after an embarrassing event? I can’t stop thinking about what happened to me yesterday! I have become infuriated and extremely depressed. I won’t even get out of bed! Any tips to feel better about an embarrassing event that your OCD is targeting it/replaying in your mind?
i just thought of this and it is making me anxious. you know how with most false memories people thought they did something but have no memory of it? mine stem around real events that have happened but intrusive thoughts and images are filling the blanks. i actually imagine scenes and think i did that. like my false memories have scenes and idk if it is truly ocd or not.
I'm so annoyed at my OCD because whenever I have something I'm excited about, or when life is going good, it rears its head and convinces me I don't deserve nice things. This time I'm suffering from false memories, literally spending every hour of the day thinking about something that happened months ago but over the course of the last two weeks my OCD has spun it completely out of control, adding in events that I know in my heart didn't happen, and making me feel guilty for absolutely no reason. I'm now convinced I'm an awful horrible person for something that never even happened lol Not sure what this post is I'm just really annoyed, I want to be able to enjoy myself and get excited over things without that tiny voice in the back of my head telling me I don't deserve it because I'm a bad person :( Just really struggling atm. Any advice or kind words would be appreciated 💕💙
so yesterday i was having a good day. i was hanging out with my friend so i was tending to ignore my intrusive thoughts when they showed up. i was doing compulsions but they weren't as elaborate as usual. i thought that would be enough but last night i kept waking up from my dreams convinced i had done something bad or it was about my intrusive thoughts. however i was also too tired to worry about it so i would try to reassure myself and fall back asleep. it's early in the morning now and i'm having a panic attack because i'm scared i've become a p. this morning my sister was watching tiktok and their was a video about a pedophile and i remember waking up right when the word was said in the video so know i feel more grossed out and scared. my intrusive thoughts are always bad on the weekends. i'm scared i'm slowly becoming one and idk what to do to calm myself.
I’m just so tired. I’m scared… and I never get relief. I recently started to remember things that didn’t upset me/bother me at the time… but now it brings fear and anxiety to my core. Mainly regarding my job. Because these memories are from a few months ago, I can’t recall everything exactly to a T. So my mind is trying to fill in the gap with all these possibilities that terrify me and go against who I am. Has this ever happened to anybody? I’m starting ERP soon and I recently was put on medicine to hopefully try and help me.. but I was wondering if anybody else has had this happen?
Has OCD ever made you feel like when you’re saying your truth like “no I don’t want to do that” it feels like a lie and when you say a lie like “I guess id do that (what your thoughts are saying” it feels like the truth? (It feels so real like I want to do it) But you know you don’t actually want to do said thing but now you feel very convinced that you want to act on your thoughts? But you don’t want to want to do that? If that makes sense? I feel like my mind is starting to get very distorted I can’t tell what’s true or not? Like what do I actually want now?
Hi everyone I’ve dealt with ocd for about 10 years now it’s typically contamination but sometimes especially recently my mi d ventures to false memories that cause me a great deal of distress and it’s usually the same “memories” that pop up when this symptom acts up. I hate how it makes me feel and idk how to make them stop. I won’t go into great detail but the most recent one is of me hurting my niece when she was a small kid except she is 20 years old now and we have a great relationship. Why would I hurt her so long ago? I know it’s not true but the memory feels so strong and real that it’s easy for me to get wrapped back up into it.
Hi, im kinda new here and i want it to know if something like "being scared that somebody would or did rape you" it's a thing in ocd. I sometimes find myself overthinking a situation about somebody touching my arm for example, and then as i star thinking about it, it becomes these really mixed up memory, where i don't know if they actually touch inappropriately and i just stand there or what happened
I cant live in this constant anxiety and fear of being hated. It sounds bad but I just want to crawl into a whole and die. I have so many regrets. Is life worth living if this Is how Im always going to feel? . The only ocd specialist in my area is extremely costly... I could never afford it. Ocd controls me, and I feel like I cant do anything about it.
I suffer from childhood experimentation and I hate it.
i have suffered with all different themes of ocd but false memory ocd has to be the worst one. the thing is i haven’t really been officially diagnosed with ocd but i have all the symptoms. i have struggled with false memory ocd since 2016. it all started when i thought i wrote stuff bad on my homework cussing the teachers out and i had to get up and check multiple times in the middle of class to make sure i didn’t write anything bad. even after i checked all those times i still thought i wrote something bad on my homework. the thoughts felt so real but they weren’t. i obviously ended up not saying anything bad on my homework but my head made me believe i did. i continued to do this from 7th-10th grade. in 2017 i got a false memory of me doing a horrific thing to my baby cousin when i changed his diaper back in 2015. i was 12 at the time when i changed his diaper. i remember changing his diaper but my mind made me believe i did something sinister to him. when i first got this thought i was like “wait did i do this?” and i worried about it for a few days but then when i realized i didn’t do it i stopped worrying. i relapsed over this false memory back in january of this year. it popped back up in my head after 5 years of not worrying about it. this time though i can’t actually remember if i did this or not since it was so long ago. im 19 now and since everything was so long ago i can’t remember something from 7 years ago and im almost fully convinced i did this because this seems more real than anything. maybe it’s because i ruminated on it. i was on zoloft and it helped me identify it as a false memory but now since im off of it im worried that it just took my anxiety away from the memory and that it’s actually real and not a false memory. this honestly isn’t the only false memory im getting though. im getting several more false memories about me doing sinister things to my younger family members when i was a younger teenager. these all seem incredibly real and i don’t know what to do. i been thinking about ending my life for the past 2 months now. i feel guilty and fear that im in denial. nocd doesn’t take my insurance for therapy and im scared to go to therapy near me because im scared the therapist will actually think i have done these things and call the police on me. im going back to my doctor on the 14th to get back on my medication. i just feel so alone and feel like i deserve absolutely nothing.
Does anyone else fear you will never get out of this state, and that you are constantly worrying about anything and everything, including the past? Cause right now all I want to do is stay in my room, and I don't know why these thoughts are occuring to me. Day to day stuff now seems impossible to do.
Anybody else couldn’t eat without vomiting or sleep at all when OCD kicked so hard?? I remember when it happened I couldn’t do these things or be alone and I even stopped going to my room and started sleeping with my mom. I’m so happy I got out of there but I can’t eat without starting to puke. I just wanted to know if anybody else got to that point bc of OCD.
I really appreciate the people that take the time to read this. 🤍 I start my job this Thursday and I am beyond terrified. I had a similar job like this two years ago, but I quit abruptly because my OCD made it unbearable and a nightmare. I’m afraid that my new job will end up like the other one did. I know my OCD is going to make it difficult, but I need to hang on and fight it. My mind keeps telling me that I won’t be able to do it and that my OCD will make it a living hell. I’m so stressed out. The thing that worries me is that when I’m at work and I have to send emails, write stuff down, etc … that I will write something so horrific and offensive. My mind tricks me and makes it feel so real and it’s hard for me to know what’s reality and what’a false. What if I write down something that I need to give to the customer like “I hope someone kills you” or something along those lines. I just don’t know if I can do it and stay strong.
I need some help, i’m struggling with real event ocd and false memory. The one thing that has me stuck is I was ruminating and I don’t know If I had a real memory or a false memory to reassure me. This reassurance back fired (I tried to avoid it in the first place), and now every memory I have from the past makes me think that this potential false memory is real. I hope this makes sense, please tell me how to overcome this. I’m trying so hard to recover, but i’m so scared this real event is true, I have such a strong feeling it is. Thank you :))
when i first got my false memory in 2017, i felt like i was in denial. fast forward to 2022 it still feels like im in denial about the same memory but when i was on zoloft, i easily was able to tell it was just an intrusive thought and not a real memory but now since im off that medication it’s making me requestion everything. it makes me think what if the false memory has been real all this time and that the medication was just not making me anxious about it. has anyone gone through this?
im just so mentally exhausted and tired. false memory ocd is definitely the worst theme of ocd i have struggled with. it’s so bad to the point where im believing every single false memory i get. it’s making me believe i have done absolutely awful and horrific things. it feels so real. i hate this so much. i feel absolutely awful and drained. im giving up :(
does anyone else with false memories remember real memories and than get anxious if your current false memory is real?? because i will remember something that happened in the past and then i will be like “ wait since that memory is real does that mean my false memory is real and i just been stressing out about it?” and it causes me to get very suicidal :(
Tw: venting, depressive thoughts I just don’t know what to do anymore. This started months ago and even now it refuses to go away. It’s starting to wear me thin to be honest. I can’t stop thinking about past mistakes for at least 8 hours a day. Insomnia over it is also causing me problems when I’m not forcing myself to sleep to avoid thinking about it. I review memories over and over again. I get intrusive thoughts so intensely lately that when I used to be good at ignoring them they now make me question everything I thought I knew about myself. It’s exhausting. These past mistakes make me feel like I will never deserve to be happy or even if I deserve life itself. I spend hours researching trying to make sure these mistakes weren’t as bad as I thought they were but everyday I feel more and more guilty for all my intrusive thoughts and mistakes. I’m starting to struggle to tell my dreams from reality as well which had only been more frustrating. I don’t know what to do. I guess this is a vent? Or maybe an admission of giving up? I was feeling better for a while there but last night staying up till 6 am to mental review everything and look online for answers to if I’m a good or bad person I think just proves that this guilt is here to stay until I either find a way to get rid of it or I myself am no longer able to think at all.
My prevalent theme currently is Harm OCD. However, today a false memory from 3 years ago came back with a vengeance to the point I was worried I was going to turn myself in. It feels so real. Like I did something horrible 3 years ago. I thought I was over that false memory. Why is this happening?
i’m so scared, am i’m currently having a panic attack i feel like ocd is ruining my life. why is my brain working so hard against me. why is it trying to convince me i’m a horrible person. i just want to get the help i need and start to feel better again
for those who have false memories, do you get scared that your false memory is just real event ocd and not false memory ocd? like im scared that my false memory is real and that it is just real event ocd and what is why im stressing out and suicidal about it.
Does anyone else experience “past erasure” compulsions? Where you think of a past event or era in your life and have a strong urge to ‘erase’ any and everything about it? I’m struggling to tell if it’s a compulsion or ‘rational’ urge - for me it’s generally out of fear I will be exposed for doing something ‘bad’ that I can’t remember, or that it will be discovered and used against me in some way.
unforgivable mistake. I can never know the real truth no matter how many compulsions I perform. I'm trying to accept uncertainty, but I can't, since if I did in fact make the mistake, I shouldn't even be alive (hence the "unforgivable"). I'm so distressed :(
I’m scared that I might said something bad or done something that I don’t remember. Like every interaction I have with someone else ends with me being afraid of saying something bad without knowing and It feels so bad bc I can’t talk to other ppl without these feeling and I just want to feel normal again.
I went through and wrote down all the things I was paranoid about past few month's after covid and starting to realize its just paranoia because now none of it makes sense 😂 I'm starting to feel better thanks God I just laugh theses thoughts off best I can do
Hi fellow OCD folks. I’m 23 and just got diagnosed with OCD. My OCD (various types including ROCD, intrusive thoughts and false memory) are taking away my energy. They composite every thought, and I’m nothing short of exhausted. My mom & family are against medication, but I am at a dead end. I do all the positive things that are supposed to make us feel better i.e. working out, reading books, executing various prompts, trying workbooks, journaling, talking to my counselor weekly & none of it is helping. It’s gradually getting worse. I wish I was open to medication but I’m worried my family might be against it, I’m worried about gaining weight, and I’m worried I’ll change on it. Please share your stories if you are taking medication. Has it helped? The cycle just keeps going. I need advice.
Im seriously scared im hiding something abt being a bad person. I cant think of anything ive done that would prove this but im always so anxious about it. It stops me from being friends with people because im scared of 'being found out' when even i do not know what the hell ive done. Im terrified of being a bad person. Does anyone have any tips to combat this specific issue???
i know i never have and never will do something but my brain makes me feel just as guilty as if i have and then i start to question if i have and feel so disgusting and ashamed like im a monster and if it was exposed everyone would hate me even tho theres nothing to even expose??
Hi Community. So, I have self-diagnosed OCD. I've struggled with vicious intrusive thoughts since I was a teenager (now 30) I discovered what intrusive thoughts and OCD is only a couple years ago now. I have POCD / False Memory OCD / intrusive thoughts of sexual nature involving family and children. As well as violent intrusive thoughts of things like cannibalism etc. There was a point in my life I felt like a monster, not knowing why I thought these things or couldn't know for certain that I haven't done certain things was eating me alive. After I read a book on intrusive thoughts, I became overwhelmingly relieved to know that the certain mental images I have arent an actual indicator of who I am or what I desire to do. Which has led me to feeling so much better on a day to day basis. However, I still struggle with the anxieties and subtle doubts when ocd/intrusive thoughts pop up. I am wondering if therapy is something I should dive into. I have no therapy experience whatsoever, and am scared of sharing some of the most sickening images and thoughts I have in my head. I am honest to my partner about all my ocd stuff and she is very supportive, and overall I am now able to let most thoughts slide. But when I am put into certain situations like being around children or family, I still have anxiety. Do you think therapy will help me? Can I be confident I wont be condemned and sent to jail for the things I have thought / think about from time to time? Thank you!
My OCD has now completely overtaken my life. I can have good days when I think I'm making progress, get ruined by intrusive thoughts at any point, most of which don't make any sense. It makes me feel like I'm failing at life right now. People around me don't seem to get just how difficult it is
How would I know if I acted on an intrusive thought in the past? I keep playing scenarios in my mind and don’t really know what my actions were. I’m so worried that I did something bad but I can’t actually say that I did. I’m wondering if this is normal.
for anyone else are you scared you did your false memory and just say your not sure it happened so you feel better about yourself? i know it doesn’t make sense cus i still feel so guilty so obviously i don’t feel good about myself. but i also feel like i’m just not taking responsibility another question does anyone feel like they can’t focus enough to ruminate? i don’t know if i’m saying it good but like i’m not trying to remember if i did it i just feel guilty at the possibility i did, or the fact that i could’ve. i don’t even know i just feel so guilty. im not even scared i just feel sad and it’s so annoying cus i know i didn’t do it but i gee like because i feel guilty that means i did
So recently I’ve been fixating on an event that happened 4 years ago. Usually after a while I’m self aware about false memories but I’m unsure about this one because it feels so real. It was someone else who did something but I’m thinking I did it?? And I got that thought weeks after thinking about the event. Why does it feel so realistic.
hi!! my brain is throwing a lot of questions at me right now. answering these questions would be a compulsion so im trying really hard to just let the questions and thoughts pass through without answering or mentally reviewing. its giving me a lot of anxiety but i know its one tiny step closer to me getting better. any tips on what i can do to help?? im quite new to this.
i keep accidentally doing compulsions (answering questions my mind asks me, reviewing memories) and now i feel terrible, i feel like i can't leave my room until i prove to myself that I've done nothing wrong, even though i know i haven't. but when i answer the questions my mind asks me it just flips and goes "well what if __" its so frustrating and now i feel trapped again. i cant handle it
I'm seriously struggling with false memory OCD. They have completely overtaken my brain and made me think I am an awful person. It seems as soon as an interaction ends or I walk away false memories start to get implanted inside my head, and they start to override everything inside my head. It's actually awful and I feel totally paralyzed by them. I don't know what to do anymore as I can hardly live my life in peace anymore due to my ocd.
what do i do with false memories? i know that it is a false memory because it’s over a real event that i used to ruminated a lot over and i never had this memory until today. I know it’s a false memory but it still scares me so much. i know not to do compulsions but i don’t know what else to do
Hii!! im a 16 year old girl and lately I've been struggling with various sexual themes, and i've noticed im really bad at accepting uncertainty. I've been dealing with real event/false memory and it's very exhausting. i haven't done anything illegal or immoral but i can't help but doubt myself. it started off with me remembering something i did about 2 years ago i think, and i remembered that thought after seeing some very disturbing things on tiktok. and i came to the conclusion i didn't do anything wrong, but the more i thought about it the more guilt I'd feel. like more things would be added into that memory. again i haven't done anything illegal or immoral but the constant questioning from the uncertainty. "what if you had bad intentions at first?" "what if things went differently, would you have done something unforgivable?" even when knowing that the thought has always made me uncomfortable, so then i start thinking "well if i know the thought of it has always made me uncomfortable then i obviously had bad intentions at first" and its so overwhelming, any tips??
Having trouble with false memories, seem to happen almost immediately after an interaction changes or ends and I don't know what to do about it, I start to ruminate as soon as the intrusive thoughts occur, and then it makes the thought so much worse. Does anyone have any tips they use with their false memories?
I'm finding that rumination has become my worst compulsion, without even trying to sometimes I find that I am thinking about a thought almost as soon as it enters my mind. As a result, it becomes a very bad obsessive thought sometimes and can make me ruminate on it even more.
So confused.. some days I’m so uncertain and somedays I’m fine but end up realizing that I’m Not worrying and end up worrying and lose the day to worry and doubt. Trying very hard to not reassurance myself mentally, no compulsions. The thoughts and feelings seem to be harder when your trying to stop reassurance seeking
Just wondering if anyone relates. I'll get horrible intrusive thoughts sometimes when I'm alone. Then I'll ruminate about it and think that maybe I lost it and did that horrible thing that I was thinking. Like its hard for me to even walk or drive sometimes because I think I may have actually done something horrible and ill believe that maybe it just wasn't a thought.