Think of your intrusive thoughts as the same thing as your heartbeat. Your heart is constantly beating but you’re not always aware of it or focusing on it.
When I had my intrusive image I couldn’t seem to just shrug it off like a normal person would. I decided to add details, add scenery , add emotions , add feelings…this is where I wound up spiralling. Why did I do this to myself? Adding specific details and looking for evidence of these details and being correct about certain details and now feeling like I have evidence. So now I feel like I have evidence and I feel like I can’t just leave it alone anymore.
I was doing way better for a while. My therapist even said we can do our sessions monthly instead of bi-weekly bur yesterday I saw something on the news that triggered me so bad. A guy in France stabbed little children and my harm OCD went wild. A bit later my other themes (existential, ROCD, suicidal) also showed up again... I've been trying to actually use it as an exposure but it just seems to get stuck in my head now... Any tips om how to handle this? I know recovery isn't linear and that this doesn't mean all my hard work is gone but still, it kinda sucks.
For people that can’t afford therapy and what’s the meaning of tools?
My intrusive thoughts that I’m secretly a violent person never leave me alone. Ive never in my life hurt an animal or person. Im trying my hardest to sit with the fear. I catastrophize constantly. Imagining how my life will end up being a violent individual. I want it to stop. Im in therapy but damn it’s rough. I never want to hurt anyone.
Does anyone experience like brain buzzing? Like you’re about to lose control and scream? Every loud sound irritates you… I don’t feel like myself :( What do I do … is this ocd? Or do I have another mental illness
How does it feel to resist mental compulsions? Does it feel like a block in the head? Pressure in the head? force? I feel like my brain just is always doing compulsions idk. Sometimes idk what is a thought or if it is a compulsion? Or if I am pushing away a compulsion. Anyone else?
How do I stop feeling bad about my intrusive thoughts? They make me feel like something is wrong with me. I just don’t feel normal having the these and having to accept them makes me feel like I’m okay with them and that makes me feel worse
My little sister finally opened up to me about her mental health and can’t believe how depressed she was and how much of an affect my mom had on her depression. It kind of triggered me because I never had a good relationship with my mom esp about my mental health. I tried bringing it up to my mom before and she downplayed mental health like she’s doing with my sister. I feel so bad for my little sister to go through the same thing I been through. Wish parents were more understandable when it came to mental health🥺
Does anyone else NOT want to see their theme but your ocd makes you feel like you do want to see things related to it? Im so sick of this crap
I had a panic attack at work today (I do guided tours through a museum) and had to break off a tour. I feel very exhausted because my OCD (harm, sexual, all the good stuff) really got intense in the last week or so. I managed the episodes of very high anxiety through some ERP sessions that I did with myself which helped to regain control, but was super exhausting. It is sad to see, that parts of my life, that give me some structure and strength (like my work, which i really love) have to be cut short because of all the stuff that is going on in my head. And on top of that I can‘t just share it with anyone. Only my therapist knows the full extent of my condition. Sometimes i would want to be able to communicate through emotions to show others how goddamn hard it can be to just achieve a normal state of existence. I feel sad typing this but thats how it is at the moment. I know better days will come. I know everything changes at every moment and I wont feel this way forever. But right now I just want to share my experience with people who know what this shit can be about. I fought inner battles and I am exhausted. I know I fight those battles for a damn good reason and I will continue, but dang… it is hard work. Wish you all the best! Greetings from Germany
Does ocd ever make you feel like you like the thoughts? I obsess over feeling like “what if I actually like the thoughts” but I don’t have any anxiety. My anxiety has disappeared since starting Zoloft. This is all so confusing to me. I’ve ALWAYS had ocd. But harm ocd has completely taken a toll on me. I’ve never experienced so much self doubt in my life. I constantly wonder if I’m actually just a bad person and if I actually mean what I’m thinking. Then when that’s coupled with no more anxiety.. it makes it feel even more real. Someone please tell me I’m not alone.
I’m doing a lot better! Which Is great and I am so proud of myself! But my ocd is now attached to my mom. She has been the biggest help and she is my best friend. Every time I think about my mom, I’ll feel nervous/doubt or I’ll get a thought immediately after like I hate her, or do I love her, or even worse my ocd will talk Bad about her like will call her A bitch etc. It’s so hard to let go bc I do love her but it’s like my feelings feel different, but I also know you shouldn’t analyze feelings especially with OCD bc just like thoughts half the time they mean nothing and analyzing feelings makes things worse. UGH I guess maybe I think that I need to feel a certain way about my mom. Idk
I have to assume that I will have ocd for a long time so I have to accept that they are just thoughts.
I’m trying to sleep then I felt arousal feeling in general before a thought came in making me think I liked it
Randomly my harm OCD about my dog and family are really bad atm. I’m trying to ignore the thoughts and feelings but it’s so bad and the thought are so taboo. Why is it so bad when I feel I’m doing it right?
For heck sake I'm gonna lose my mind, my thoughts and everything I do I feel like something bad is gonna happen, and the nervous and anxiety in my heart I can't handle it, it been like this for a week! I did medication that worked for a while but I'm afraid it won't work anymore.
Why is it that ocd always.. is worse when im at home with my partner and daughter??? Is this normal for ocd, often im not happy at all when im with them, and it gives me intrusive thoughts about i don’t like them…… i fucking hate it! Anyone in here tries the same?
I know the problem with OCD is not the thoughts or the theme but right now mine feels so specific. And uncertainty feels so hard with this. I just feel like i need a professional to…i don’t even know what. Like just crack open my OCD and dissect it or something Rationalizing is also a compulsion of mine and so hard to let go of but im also nervous about if i didn’t rationalize my thoughts, i think i’d just freak out and lose control or something
I was trying to sleep and I was half asleep with no underwear on just shorts because they were all drying then I was moving my you know what back and forth not with my hand but just moving side to side while having the thoughts I remember being distress trying to see if I was hard I think. can you unconsciously test your ocd while being half asleep or maybe I didn’t like the feeling so that’s why I keep moving I just want this to stop by the way I wasn’t using my hand I was just tossing back-and-forth trying to sleep.
Life right now feels like a repetitive cycle of "intrusive thought, uncomfortable feeling, thinking other people will get uncomfortable, staying away so they don't have to feel like that, getting depressed that I'm basically isolating myself, hang around people again, intrusive thought, etc". From an outside perspective I probably seem like a dick because I don't like being close to people anymore and I pretty much stay to myself. In a way I understand my brain thought itself into this position, so I know it can think itself into a better one, but it feels so hard right now. It's like everday I'm watching myself slowly ruin my life 😆 on a more positive note: at least I can say I'm doing better than i was a year ago, but shiiiet
My people with pure o, how do you not do compulsions? I feel like my brain always brings up the thought. It’s so annoying. Also what do you say to your OCD? my therapist said to agree very specifically, like if the thought was “you are a bad person” say “yeah it is possible I am a bad person”. But do I let go after I say that. Bc I feel like I am prone to rumination and analyzing. 💗
Ok so as part of my homework from therapy, I’ve been trying to use ERP with some of my compulsions. I can say that I’ve had success today. I think it was also beneficial that I was taking a class, so I didn’t have time to stop & think & ruminate about not having done the compulsion. It’s a bit uncomfortable, but definitely manageable. So glad I got started! I encourage anyone to try ERP therapy.
Something popped up on my feed that was triggering. Usually I scroll past but I watched it. I feel sick. I cried a bit. Why the hell did I do that. I know ill be ruminating about it now. I have guilt for watching it even. What do I do now
My OCD seems to get worse in the afternoon. Gets really tiring. Anyone else?
So I’ve always had OCD but never harm ocd until 4 weeks ago (I got triggered by someone asking me if I had ever had thoughts of harming others). The first about 2 weeks, my anxiety was so extreme I could barely function. Didn’t eat for the first 5 days of it. Well, I’m 4 weeks into this theme.. 4 weeks into Zoloft as well. And now the anxiety is slim to none. Now that I don’t have anxiety, I’m obsessing over not having anxiety. Does this mean I like the thoughts? Does this mean I want the thoughts? If it’s not terrifying me, does that make me bad!? Why am I not having anxiety anymore. Could it be the Zoloft starting to work?
I’ve been having intrusive thoughts abt harming my sister these past couple of days but I’m not getting as anxious as I used to before which leads me into thinking that I want to do these horrific actions, and then it says something like”if u don’t do it it won’t go away” and that makes me scared, I’ve been dealing with intrusive since December of 2022 and I very bad days where I thought I couldn’t handle it but now they are just annoying
I was on Facebook and scrolling and had this thought that I wanted to look at the stories that had kids and it felt like I wanted to. It was nothing inappropriate but still😞
I feel so hopeful after finding this app, first time in awhile I don’t feel alone. It actually made me cry hahah
Holding ice playing with slime playing with ice packs uhhh my phone (it's gone now) my mp3 listening to music drawing art painting :)
I had an OCD DREAM I woke up with my hand over my you know what, then before I had this other dream I was masterbating in the dream then I think I woke up in the position dose this make me that person even if I was dreaming then waking up in that position with my hand over my you know what
Its crazy when OCD manifest itself in your early 20's you begin to look back in time when OCD was manifesting itself but at the time you didnt know what is was.
I had one 6 years ago and haven’t stopped obsessing over it ever since. My false memories all stem from this, the most recent one is the worst as it has a mixture of real and false details I really don’t know what’s real and what I’ve guessed and what I’ve made up anymore which is terrible. I now avoid alcohol as my false memory seems to stem from it every time I drink. Anywho because I was so drunk my ocd loves telling me I would’ve lost control or done something completely out of character. Can anyone relate?
Anyones false memory have real details , real ‘evidence’ (or what you believe is evidence) , it’s so vividly real but also I don’t think it happened. I’m living in a constant state of doubt everyday , I never reach a conclusion and even if I do eventually become at peace with the fact it never happened ocd hits me with ‘your in-denial’. It’s a never ending battle.
Everytime i get intrusive thoughts about i want to die… i get this horrible feeling in my body which makes it feel so real… anyone relate?
My ocd keeps me telling me i don’t like my daugther or says im to tired to be on here as much as i want.. And it makes it VERY hard to feel happy when im actually with her! Is this normal ocd
Any advice for how to stop doubt the doubt about if the thoughts are true. Sometimes I feel like I set up my brain to think these things and allow them to come into my brain if that makes sense. It makes me feel guilty because I feel like I want them there when in all honesty I want them gone. I just can’t shake the feeling of doubting and hating myself for my thoughts.
I get intrusive thoughts that are “what if something bad happens?”,”what if your wanting to hurt someone?”, “what if you’ve hurt someone in the past and don’t remember it?”, “what if it’s homicidal thoughts instead of ocd?”, and “what if I get schizophrenically possessed?”.
there’s no worse feeling, i think. to believe that i’m unworthy of forgiveness. that i am not allowed to enjoy anything in life. it makes me sick with fear. will i ever be able to move on? if anyone else can relate, feel free to chime in.
Does anybody ever get tired of being OCD about their OCD? I feel like just dropping the topic for a few hours of the day. I feel like I’m always just either thinking about it (ruminating) or researching. To think of it sounds like these are compulsions and I’m just feeling bad after I do them lol. Regardless I just want to live my life without it being the forefront of a thought.
today i woke up with the morning thoughts and doubts but then i just decided to ignore it, (a used named nica recomended a link about swearing against ocd and oh god how much it helps) i went to my university and spent the whole day with my girl and friends, i also played with a stray dog, a rly cute one, which made my day
Does anyone also go through this where you see a potential trigger and you don’t instantly have an intrusive thought but your brain feels weird until you have an intrusive thought? Also my brain will tease me if I don’t have an intrusive thought about a potential trigger…like it’ll say “think it, do it”….🤔
Hi everyone, I have been doing ERP for a little over two months, and while my SUDS scores and quality of life has improved, this past week it seems as though my harm-OCD is coming back despite doing my homework on a regular basis. I do feel discouraged and more depressed. I even feel like I had to cut back and do easier exposures. Does anybody else experience this?
I hate that I worry I’ll have an intrusive thought attack and then I do because I’m thinking about not having one especially when I have important things to do!!! This is so hard !!
Hi OCD Warriors! Any of you living abroad and dealing with an OCD spike? I’m originally from Canada, living in the US for 5 years now. I miss my family a lot even since the OCD spike. I always missed them but the OCD seems to have made things worse. I mostly have Harm and Relationship OCD. How do you guys cope?
My phone broke the other day and I went eithojt a phone for the entire day. Almost all of my compulsions involve googling or some sort of research and reassurance speaking. I couldn't do any of these for the whole day. Since then I've noticed a major decline in how many times a day I feel the need to do a compulsions which is great, but the problem now is that it makes me worried that what if it was never ocd and now I'm just that terrible person I always feared.
Hello, Does anyone here experience intense guilt because of things they did in order to tend to their obsessions? For example, I used to spend a lot of time ruminating when I should have been more present with friends and family. How do you deal with the guilt that arises from this, knowing it was not really your fault as at the time you were undiagnosed and had no idea how to properly deal with obsessions?
Those of you with false memory do you ever start getting so desperate to know the ‘truth’ that you try to work out your false memory in ‘other ways’ by trying to guess what objects were around you or what clothes people wore or what scenery was there etc. I’m unsure I’m making any sense at all tbh but this is what I do to myself and if I get something correct I pretty much label myself as a criminal which really doesn’t make any logical sense. It’s pretty odd but I think it’s called mental review I’m finding out.
I had an OCD DREAM I woke up with my hand over my you know what, then before I had this other dream I was masterbating in the dream then I think I woke up in the position dose this make me that person even if I was dreaming then waking up in that position with my hand over my you know what
Does anyone else find themselves avoiding horror or disaster-themed movies, shows, and video games? Before learning about ocd, I used to think I was just a scaredy cat when it came to horror movies and stuff. But now I'm realizing that those types of media trigger intense intrusive thoughts and vivid images, and that not everyone experiences that. So I'm just curious if anyone else is also avoidant of that stuff? Or if anyone has that same intense reaction?
The fact that our brains lie to us is the hardest thing for me to grasp about ocd…. It’s like we have two brains, the logical one… and the ocd one!
My therapist always asks at the beginning of my sessions if I’ve had any harmful thoughts regarding myself or others that’s NOT OCD. But how do i know if my thoughts are or are not OCD? It’s stressing me out. Worried I’m a crazy person and will act
Hi everyone, so my meds have definitely kicked in. I noticed a lot less rumination and decrease in thoughts. But my thing is I just can’t seem to accept uncertainty about the groinal responses. I believe I subconsciously check the area when I see my trigger so I don’t know how to not to that🙄
When I’m not worrying, I’m worried that I’m not worrying about my thoughts. My brain is telling me like you want to do these thoughts when I’m not worrying, like im a bad person, it feels so real though. I can’t 🥹 Then I question my self what if I am a bad person and want to harm people, but then my ocd comes and a thought like “I am a bad person and want to harm people” pops up. I’m tired. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to live like this.
What are the benefits of NOCD? ... What's different then getting treatment for OCD with a regular therapist that treats OCD? anything that's just magical?
i absolutely hate going out in public now bc people existing is a trigger for me. it’s gotten sooooo bad that i can’t interact with anyone outside of my family and close circle of friends :/ being around people triggers the thoughts and i hate them!!
At the weekend I had, had a bit to drink and I had posted something with some very offensive words, worst thing was I was completely incorrect with what I thought the words meant and it turns out it was deeply offensive and also a very old racial slur which I was unaware of, it also made no sense based on the context of the situation. Horrified, by my actions i apologised to anyone I upset as soon as I realised what I did. Despite that and trying to make myself a better person by thinking before I say and taking the time to be a less ignorant person, I can't stop thinking about it, and It makes me feel vile and disgusting. I'm not an awful, horrible person but this rather ignorant slip of the tongue is killing me inside, has anyone experienced something similar before? How have they worked through it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Is it normal ocd makes it very hard to feel joy and happiness even when you should be happy.. together with your loved ones? It scares me i can’t feel these things often anymore?
Why is it ocd makes it so hard for you to feel joy and be happy… even around your loved ones??? Is this normal
Someone got me a new set of knives, alot of them. I was apprehensive because of my harm ocd but when I started using them I realized I wasn't getting triggered because they don't look like originated knives. They aren't shiny. They are very bright with different commits so I think my brain thinks they are harmless. Win!
I’m 16 year old female last month diagnosed with OCD, GAD and Hypochondria from a team of 3 psychologists. • organizing everything. I sometimes have to organize 2-4 hours through clothes, clean and rearrange the entire room. • avoiding triggering things like violent tv shows. Now I only like to watch cartoons and studio ghibli type/wholesome films. • only listening to calming music during days when I have a lot of intrusive thoughts. For example phoebe Bridgers and Alec Benjamin. • cutting hair. I’m trying to stop cutting my own hair by cutting my cousins dogs hair now. But I love to cut my bangs i feel like it helps me calm down from having an intrusive thought. • waking up feeling shit. I wake up after a good sleep and I I’m instantly anxious like now my brains going to give me a bunch of intrusive thoughts should I just go back to sleep. • hates certain clothing textures and colors. Earthy tones and pastel goth colors are the only easy things to look at. I don’t like long pants except sweatpants. I can only tolerate denim if it’s short shorts and paired with fishnets.
Does anybody find that the OCD gets agitated after doing ERP?
Does anyone have kids and dealing/dealt with HOCD? My 2yo gives me a hard time and today I had to be firm with her I didn’t tell but maybe I’m a scoldful way I feel bad and my OCD is telling me one day I’m gonna be so irritated and commit an act like I’m frustrated with her when I scolded her and my OCD is giving me images that I’m just lose control when she makes me upset I lie here in tears
im getting discharged from my inpatient program tomorrow and i really enjoyed the group therapy. does anyone have any specific recommendations for online OCD support groups? preferably adults only
I am working through harm OCD and my mom has been helping me a lot because she also has dealt with obsessive thinking and my ocd is latched around harming her and my bf. But now my brain is questioning if I love her and saying bad things about her and that hurts so bad. She is my best friend. it so hard to stop ruminating on this bc it’s like I can’t handle the “thoughts and feelings” that have latched on to her. I hate it. all weekend my brain felt like it just wants an answer. But that’s just keeps the cycle alive. I know my truth that I love her sm. But my ocd just doubts everything. UGHHH
I sometimes don’t know if I’m trying to justify my thoughts by seeking reassurance or what. Is this normal? I don’t know if y’all understand me .
Does anyone else’s ocd make them feel guilty like you’ve done something wrong or you’re a bad person?
so basically my dad had a surgery a few months ago and it didnt really work so he had to go to the hospital and i for some reason think its my fault??? recently ive been really worried about murder and jail and my brain has told me that ive tried to kill him even tho i dont remember it?
My dream is to get married to my gf. She and I both have mental issues, but I think mine are more severe. Just hate that every time I think of this my brain gives me all these thoughts of why it won’t happen and I’ll never get better. Suicide, depression, internet addiction, ocd itself. Just always wanted to be normal.
OCD is making it hard for me to drive anywhere. The fear that I could hit someone with my car, whether they are in a crosswalk or on the sidewalk scares me so much, and it makes me not want to drive. This is difficult as I have a commute to work that is over an hour, and even some trips like going to the store make me scared. On top of that, when I am in my car, I feel. like my head is fuzzy and I can't concentrate. How does someone combat this? My therapist says I need to try and stop taking ubers, but the fear is paralyzing most days.
Does anyone think about recovery/trying to be grateful for everything in your life, anything to do with positivity and recovery. And then your chest drops like it feels like fear and doubt. Idk how to explain it. It sucks because I want to be positive and love my life with love and kindness but then I get weird feelings In my chest that doesnt necessarily come with thoughts. Maybe it’s my ocd trying to get me to analyze my feelings and then that would be a compulsion. It just sucks lol.
Anyone having intrusive thoughts starting with i? “I want to die” “I am going to die soon” “I don’t like anything in my life, and i will never be happy again or feel joy” Examples i have
I use to be ok with it, but then when I got curious about the interent and about everything, I freaked out, I snapped, and I cried, I deleted everything, my face, most apps, even trying to get my IP privacy safe even tho I didn't put my IP but when I search stuffs about it I freaked out and I put my IP private, I even cover my phone with tape so I won't feel unsafe, I'm still afraid to go to my laptop, I'm afraid to use wifi so I did data cause I did search about it, I can't afford anything to keep myself safe, my fear of the internet really made me afraid to be outside or do anything cause I feel like there cameras everywhere, I can't even let anyone take pics of me cause I feel like someone is getting me or something, I don't want to even celebrate my bday cause people will take pics of me, I just want to run away for a year to cover my face, travel, and pretty much just waited out until I decide to get my face back to the internet, idk what to do... How can I overcome my fear..?
Anyone done a constant mental review and feel like they now have ‘evidence’ .. my ocd is revolved around evidence. I’m living a constant nightmare as I believe my false memory is fake but then my ocd is like ‘ you have proof’ and it’s a constant cycle all day everyday.
So both of these anxiety disorders go hand in hand for me and yesterday I was sure my legend wanted to harm me during a panic attack. I’m scared that I’m going to keep thinking that and I won’t be able to enjoy time with them. Anyone else?
Really made solid effort to try ignore the thoughts/ urges latly However today it sent me a thought like “You are becoming delusional and u think murder is ok” Now i gave in and tried to figure out if i think murder was ok and i cant see if i do or not. None of the consequences scare me. Am i becoming delusional? Will i be convinced murder is okay?
Hi I have recently had a baby and have been in the mbu since 37 weeks pregnant. I have recently been put on a section because i am on a cycle of feeling well enough to go home then getting home having to do all my compulsions and rituals thats I come back exhausted and taking a step back. I don’t no how this cycle is going to end. :( I have explained it’s because I need to be at home because I cope better there. I feel incredibly stuck :(
Is it normal for ocd to give alot of i/you dont like thoughts? Examples.. “I dont like my life” “You will never be happy again” “You or i dont like my partner and daughter” “I dont like or enjoy anything anymore”? Do someone recognize these thoughts?
Been doing a lot better lately but I keep having that feeling of like not understanding/knowing myself since my relapse. Like, people keep saying move towards your Values but the problem is that I keep doubting my Values. I'm unsure what I like/love and constantly doubting my own personality. Somebody else struggling with this? And if so, how do you cope?
my ocd is kicking my butt!! how do i fall asleep without it?
I’m wanting to go back to the mental hospital I’ve been 3 times but is OCD a good reason to go? I know lots of ppl usually go for anxiety disorder and depression but idk.
My fear of going psychotic or manic troubles me daily. I had to do a job at a party and I was so scared and in constant anxiety of what if I get psychosis at the party and hurt someone. I will be all over the news, all my family and friends will see my mugshot. Its a big rabbit hole. Anyways I went and worked and I actually zoned in and did what I needed to. Small win over my constant fears today.
Do you guys feel anxious when eating sweets? Lol I think this is just my eating disorder but I can’t help but be hyper vigilant on my food consumption.