What I hate is having an intrusive thought before I go to bed then that thought has an impact on my dream and I have a very intrusive dream then I wake up and I think about the dream and question why I would dream about it and think bout it all day. What do I do?
This has happened to me for years. Sometimes when I send a text and the person texts me back. Sometimes I’ll get a huge rush of nicety in my body cause I’m like what if I texted them something crazy and didn’t realize it. I’ll open the reply they sent and I’m like oh okay. I didn’t say anything crazy.
I’m wondering if anyone has struggled with fear of accidentally plagiarizing/struggling to define what is and isn’t plagiarism (especially in a non-academic context)/rumination on whether you accidentally plagiarized/avoidance in writing bc of this fear? If so, what perspectives/insight/ERPs helped you? I’ve gotten generally pretty good at tolerating uncertainty in other areas but this one is particular sticky. Thanks!
Currently I’m the calmest I’ve ever felt in 2 months. I’m not super sure how to feel and I’m having a bit of anxiety over it. I’ve been doing a bit of my own ERP without a professional and I think it’s been working. I don’t feel much stress and fatigue as I did these past two months. Of course I still feel a bit anxious but not as bad. I had little to no self compassion these past few months but now I’m starting to feel more for myself that I hopefully deserve. I feel relieved but I’m not sure if I deserve this relief. I think I had a big realization that I am not my intrusive thoughts at all and I want to continue loving and protecting those I care about. Of course I’m still struggling thinking about the future safely and thinking things safely but I hope this is a big step for myself.
Right before my period I spiral SO bad. The intrusive thoughts and anxiety get worse. Can OCD be hormonal? Or have a connection to hormones? Why does this happen? Also side note, when I get an intrusive thought and the hit of anxiety I’ll clutch my fists or my pants. Is this normal? I think I do it to make sure I don’t hurt anyone. Does anyone else do this
had insane ocd and anxiety this morning after a night of drinking, ontop of hormonal problems after my period just ended. and i took my hydroxizine and now i feel much better. i used to not be on any medicine and hated the idea of being on medicine. but i have an actual chemical imbalance (this happens when i drink or don’t drink too, but it’s worse after a night of drinking) so i think i’m gonna stop drinking alcohol. i’m on 5 mg of lexapro now, which i know isn’t a lot. but i like how it doesn’t take all my problems away, just makes them easier to deal with so i can figure out how to get over feeling so anxious and like a horrible person. i don’t like questioning my morality even tho i know it’s a mental illness i can’t control. it’s really hard out here. but my doctor said the brain is an organ just like the pancreas or heart.. some people have to take insulin for diabetes or high blood pressure medicine for an irregular heart. same with me, having a chemical imbalance in my brain, which is the biggest organ in our bodies and taking medicine makes me feel better so fuck it. a life of medicine and feeling normal is a way better life than not taking it and feeling like shit all the time. i will be going to therapy soon to help it better, but it’s hard to find time and money. esp w work and school. thanks for listening!
It’s been about 5 months since all of this started happening and about 1 months since it really hit me hard.
Something when I get an intrusive thought or get that anxiety in my chest my mouth will twitch pretty bad. I can’t help it. It just happens every time. Is this just a reaction to the anxiety?
just realized my compulsions don't give me any kind of relief anymore oh god
So last night I added my dad I haven’t talked to in a while on Facebook and now I keep getting intrusive thoughts of me liking him.. like I haven’t seen him in years like wtf.
That’s all…
Harm ocd is the worst
I want to give my family some baked good as I love baking for others. But I have a new intrusive thought that I might poison someone. Is this an irrational fear or should I be worried? I feel like ocd is telling me “why so you can poison them” I know for a fact that I have not and do not want to poison anyone! Also I clean my hands and surfaces so many times when baking to avoid germs but ocd is still making me doubt myself. Is it okay to still give them the baked goods despite my intrusive thoughts. It’s very upsetting 😔I don’t understand why I get intrusive thoughts how can I stop them?
How can you get over the fear of intrusive thoughts? I don’t wanna be around people incase in being on intrusive thoughts. I want to see my family bc I know they can tell I’ve been distant since ocd getting bad again but I don’t want to get intrusive thoughts about them and also feel bad that I have and idk ocd makes it incredibly difficult for me to make decisions. I want to give them so if my bakes good and ocd is like why do you can poison them. So then of course I don’t want to but I have never poisoned anyway I am very hygienic in the kitchen why does ocd make your don’t yourself 😔. I was scared to go out yesterday incase I got an intrusive thought about my friend but luckily I didn’t but I did get intrusive thoughts about other people/ things but didn’t do any compulsions. It’s like I view my worth on weather or not I get intrusive thoughts like I try my hardest to control them I hate them so much I feel bed if I let them in bc I don’t want them idk how to move on
Im new to the community. Currently from Mexico and basically with ocd from a panic attack back in 2021. Since then I’ve been having lots of OCD themes, from Health OCD to POCD and schizophrenia OCD, Harm OCD as from others. I am a software Engineer and basically I’m kinda in constant stress and overwhelmed due to work reasons. I figured out that when I have all of this stress and and stuck emotions I feel highly triggered with pure mental obsessions. After calming down from days and journaling to exercise I can feel the thoughts more less, but still having these unwanted intrusive thoughts. Does it happen to anyone else? At first when I was new to this OCD subject I was very frightened of myself. I must say that is really hard to cope and continue to do things as if these thoughts are nothing since these just repeat over and over and over. I just end tired and looks like a cycle.
Anyone have any suggestions for a good therapist on here? I enjoy my therapist and they seem to help but i just wanted to see if another one listened to my thoughts more and what i need help with? Especially with me starting ERP.
Hi all! I came on here to post about something that has been bothering me lately. Firstly, I’ve been pretty successful in my recovery for 8+ months now. During the height of my OCD and even now, it scares me scares me when I read the definition of intrusive thoughts. The word “unwanted” scares me because my mind has always told me that I like these thoughts and that I want them, therefore it is hard for me to classify them as unwanted. It feels like I want them, even though I know they go against my morals. Does anyone else go through this? (I’ve had harmocd for a year, and have been doing so much better these past 8 months. I even had months of little to no thoughts!)
Hey, somebody here who have anxiety and depression from something what happens in past when you was a kid when u do something wrong like killing ants... now i can't even kilo a fly bc its living thing for me but i still have bad thoughst about me bus what i do when i was child some body lese with this?
The staff aren’t treating my mom right unless my father or I are here. When we are not they don’t treat her right. She is demanding and I don’t really care about them due to how they treat me all I care about is the well being of my mother Some jerk is shaking a snack bag beside me and the ocd is acting up
Any tips on how to build courage before doing exposure? I could use some ^^
Recently I’ve been having this issue where every time I go to m*sterbate ate the intrusive thoughts pop up. It makes it so difficult especially if my drive is very high. Any tips for being able to do it again?
How about posting some encouraging success stories of folks who have overcome Pure OCD, Harm OCD or Real Event OCD with ERP or other means? Would really be interested in that.
So I got a hard ocd intrusive thought around a family member and it scared me and I started saying to myself I’m not gonna think this because it’s not true it’s fake I’d never do it and I started pondering on it and sorta ruminating and then was like well I’ll just stay away but that’s what ocd wants me to do and I’m not I Remember last year when I was really engulfed in my ocd and this happened omg I was so depressed that day and shut down didn’t speak felt anxious everything but I’m not letting ocd drown me again I can’t and the feelings and nervousness are slowly leaving but every time weather your in recovery or not it will scare and disturb you every time but you can move from it ❤️
Still scared, thanks
Lastnight I experience and intrusive thought. And I could feel the anxiety rolling in my chest was so tight I couldn’t knock the feeling. I fought threw the thought and urges as it tried to take over. This first time the urges felt intense. Now I feel guilty and second-guessing, who I am. Didn’t sleep either
I feel really bad, fighting with myself. I dont think its ocd but i ask it cause its so wrong that i start to think im a sick person or something is wrong with me... First i thought i have ocd cause i have the same thoughts, i had harm ocd, homosexual ocd, pedophilia ocd and suicidal ocd, but i had feelings for all of them, and i thought its ocd cause people with ocd have feelings like they like these things. But after researching about ocd i know now that ocd is worry, people doesnt have feelings that they like these thoughts, they think that they MIGHT like them and they worry. Im dealing with thoughts of being gay at this time, i saw a picture of a half naked men, and i had the stupid feelings, and i dont know... but i dont want to be gay. Same with the other ocd types which if its true then im a sick man... if i read about these things on the internet its all about "accept it" but i dont want to accept that i like these things. I dont think its ocd cause of the feelings, but its so painful to say im fckn sick in my mind, and its strange cause how i am aware of it?
I have a groinal responses to some violence. I used to wonder if I was a sadist but it’s not sexy or kinky violence, its actually not sexual at all, it’s just pure violence that makes me feel something down there. I worry it’s not OCD because I don’t really know what fear is attached to it. I worry I’m just sick and maybe I am a sadist who just enjoys people’s suffering and am lying to myself and putting on a mask… I don’t understand. But I don’t think that’s true because it makes me sick and sad and I hate it, but I also feel down there.
HARM OCD PEEPS, when people ask you if you would actually want to do harm on others, in that moment when responding “no” do you feel like you actually wanted these things to happen and you are responding that way to please people or that the only reason you feel guilty is so you don’t go to jail
I kept getting intrusive thoughts of men and their private parts and the word “boyfriend” and getting groinals during work… I tried to let it be and let the intrusive stuff pass, but it’s making me feel like I’m in denial because of it… I was also getting intrusive thoughts of harming a mentally handicapped homeless woman I was trying to help and escort throughout the night… and my HOCD acted up their too, making me think I didn’t like women my age and above… when I only want to be with women my age and above and help people…
My OCD tends to cycle. But I had a new fear unlocked tonight. I go out for drinks with some of coworkers on some Fridays. Two of them are married and bring their 7 month old baby. They are an amazing couple. But I keep having these OCD fears of seeming like I’m flirting with the husband. Like I don’t want to seem like I’m flirting with him during the work day. Today at drinks, some people left, so we moved around to be closer and I ended up sitting next to the husband. I immediately had thoughts like “what if you kiss/touch him”/ “how would the wife react if you did that” /“imagine what will happen to that baby”. I literally scooted my chair as far away as I could without seeming strange. One of my coworkers got up to go to the bathroom, and it was make me and him at that point, so we just say there awkwardly. I wanted to get up and leave. I just feel like I’m going to do/say something that I don’t want to do.
Today was the day. I tried coping with everything and I was happy for a little bit despite the thoughts still being there. But the pressure kept adding up. I broke, I cried and I was shaking and biting my nails. My mom and brother hugged me. I love them so much. I feel like such a burden for them. Or maybe they’d be happier if I wasn’t here. My self-esteem is so low. I don’t do the things I used to do. And I don’t say anything to anyone cause I fear I am burdening them with my problems. Today nothing seemed to work. I read the Bible I listened to music and cleaned my space I even drew. Nothing helped the loudness and chaos in my brain. I hate this feeling. I miss the old me. I miss Landon. I miss feeling like life was a gift. I feel my life is curse and that I burden anyone in my track. I’m trying so hard to fight through this but im growing tired and weary. I feel so broken and empty. And what makes it all worse is that I fear im faking all of this. And when I argue these thoughts with basic logic it makes it even stronger and louder. I can’t take another day, week, month, year any time like this. I’ll keep fighting until Landon is back, but until then it’s just this void of what used to be.
I have harm OCD which intertwines with my relationship OCD and health OCD.. Tomorrow I’m staying at my friends place for a few days and will be away from my partner. This is giving me a lot of anxiety now, and i just feel like i’m going to go crazy or hurt my friend without reason😭😭😭 I really don’t want to go now just because of this😭 Im really scared that i will act out😭😭
I keep having thoughts and some times I don’t react as bad to them and I’m fine but I feel like that’s proof. And I’m a really empathetic person and I was always curious what drove bad people to do what they do. Everyone in my life says “it’s ok to understand why someone does something. But it doesn’t make it right” but I use this knowledge and understanding and I get scared that I’m like supporting a bad person or something? My OCD has been combating my empathy. I’m a empath, I feel everyone’s hurt and anger and everything sometimes I even get empathy pain’s especially when someone gets hurt I feel it on my body it’s so weird but. My empathy side is like, everyone deserves understanding and compassion to a situation. My OCD replies “oh so you believe that EVERYONE deserves empathy. So that means you support bad people!” And then they combat each other and I end up going down hill. I had to watch my sisters while my mom ran to the gas station and I was so scared causing harm to them. The whole time I was shaking in fear and twitching. I just feel like I can’t take anymore of this. I enjoy having understanding most of the time. It’s a gift to be able to really understand someone and help their hurt. But with the light comes the shadow. This empathy sometimes makes me feel empty. And sometimes I feel like nobody gives me what i give them. I’m so scared of becoming this monster evil person. And to make it worse I think that everyone deserves understanding except for me and I haven’t even done anything crazy! Is anyone else here an empath and combating OCD? I’m also a really sensitive person I hate when people yell at me. Anger is an emotion I hate. Anyways. Thanks for reading but I definitely feel better today
I’m trying to find a group therapy for OCD that way I can meet people in person make some friends who can relate to this condition and feel comfortable talking to about this. This Harm OCD makes me feel alone
Do you ever feel like you hear people confronting you over a potential action?
Dows anyone experience harm or suicidal ocd physical sensations or strong urges? Like I get this constant tingling/feeling in my arms. I think I get this feeling and then associate it to my self-harm thoughts even though the thought isn’t there to begin with? I have went into panic attacks because I felt such a strong urge in my arms or body that I then related to hurting myself. It happens throughout the day multiple times.
I went on a date last Saturday. Over the phone and through text it really seemed like it was going to be great. But once we met in person, it was just not a good fit. I was not anxious after. I just felt bad. However, a few days after, I started having horrible anxiety I cannot even explain and now I’m attributing to the date and now I’m wishing I never went and it feels like I will never be able to forgive myself. Even though it was just a one hour walk date! But it feels like I’ve done something horrible wrong and I can’t explain why. I can’t explain where this anxiety is coming from so of course my harm ocd is seizing on this and is thinking “oh. This anxiety must mean you have to hurt that guy or hurt yourself.” And now it’s just all even worse. Why is this happening? Logically I know the date was no big deal. But the I explicable anxiety says otherwise.
Does anyone else with suicidal or harm ocd thoughts get so intense and constant that you feel like you are just going to give in to them to make them stop? It’s almost like a numb feeling too. Like it’s saying I don’t care if I do or don’t. Feels like I can’t take this anymore even though all I want is for it to stop and not hurt myself.
This morning in deep thought but with the lens of compassion, I feel like I’ve had a break through as to why I have so many harm OCD thoughts, it has a lot to do with my lack of self love and self care, more to do with self love. I’m kinda realizing I never really loved myself & recently always had the negative thoughts that I was never deserving of love or care or genuine connection. Like I know I want those things but there’s a difference between knowing what you deserve and actually honestly feeling you deserve these things.
My harm ocd is coming in SO strong right now. Even when I agree with the thoughts, it’s making it so much worse when I’m used to that making it better. It’s feeling like it is inevitable and that I want to or need to act on it. What is scaring me so much is it feels like I’m having to hold myself back! And that the more this happens, I will not be able to hold myself back anymore. Please help!
Having mixed thoughts and feelings. Recently left my job because it made me miserable and started making me depressed. Now I feel lost on what to do and if I even want this career. I told myself I’ll take a month to get myself back on track while looking for a job. But because I stared feeling a little depressed again my ocd is starting on the self harm/suicidal theme. I’m just feeling lost and kinda down. I know my ocd is feeding off of the situation and my feelings which makes my ocd thoughts feel stronger and real. Just needed to vent
I feel as though in my childhood it was beautiful pure and light. Mostly joy and peace. Now I feel so drained empty and depressed. I’m 14 and I wish I could go back and avoid all of this. I hide myself in my room away from the world so that people are safe from me. My friends simply don’t get it. And I am starting to get help it’s just I don’t feel normal and I most certainly don’t feel like Landon anymore. I’m so insecure anymore. I hate my body and my face I think I look hideous in pictures and I feel like a burden to my Mom and not because of her because she is the best mom anyone could ever have. She deserves the son who played football and had good grades and was involved and was kind and perfect. Instead she got this, this depressed anxious kid who misses school because of this and isn’t the best at school or inclusive. I have no idea what I want for myself in the future so I’m just living day by day and I hate it. I feel so alone. I feel trapped and I’m scratching and banging the walls for help but nobody can hear me. I just want to sleep. And I want to wake up and this be gone and never happen again. I want a life without this horrible condition. Where I make myself believe I am a threat or a monster or that I like certain things sexually. I will fight until I get Landon back. Landon who is 14 who is happy and spending time with friends and family and smiled and wasn’t hiding in his room away from the world which is beautiful. I know there is so much to experience in life but ocd makes me not want to be here I guess. I feel like all I do is Wake Up, Take Meds, School, Home, Eat, Maybe a breakdown, Sleep, or not sleep. I just want to be free. I feel like a person with a boulder attached to their feet and thrown in water. I’m drowning and I know one day I’ll feel the air again. I know it takes time but I’m so envious of other teenagers who can just live. I miss being a kid before all of this all of the color and life and beauty I want it back. Maybe one day I will. Idk anymore thx for reading sorry if I bombarded you with everything lol
Does anyone else with suicidal/self-harm OCD have absolute constant thoughts and triggers all day long? Like no matter what I’m doing and as soon as I wake up to when I go to sleep. Everything is a trigger (especially sharp objects) to harm myself: pencils, forks, knives, razors… literally everything. It’s been like this for almost 3 months. It’s so exhausting and then my brain is like, “you’re never going to not have these thoughts so you should just do it since you will eventually” Feeling just exhausted. I want to be able to go a day without my mind telling me that I should hurt myself. Has anyone been at this point and gotten better?
I feel stuck I want and need therapy but I can’t afford to pay out out pocket and NOCD can take my insurance but it’s out of network I know I can get a reimbursement but I just don’t have $170. I’m trying to find a therapist that takes ACCHS but it’s hard to find ones that specialize in ERP and accept my insurance I feel stuck because the therapist I have doesn’t specialize in ocd so I don’t feel I can be honest with her
Sometimes I question if I even have OCD. I feel like my brain remembers much more and that I’m a liar. Are these signs of False Memory OCD or Real Event OCD? Is it possible with Harm OCD to do extreme checking?
So, first two things I’d like to add is that 1.) I have no intention on harming anyone. 2.) I am in the process of getting therapy and I’m on Zoloft. So my obsessions are over everything that jeffery dahmer did. I get scared I’ll be like him and everyday I see people like that in my mind or me liking it. I’m scared sexually rn because whenever I try to masterbate the thoughts pop into my mind constantly. Not only that school is so hard when being around so many people. You’d think since I’m on the path of help I’d feel better but no I just feel numb. I hate every moment of this. I cant even eat a meal without a damn thought popping in my head. I don’t want to be a monster. I just want to live and be. I want to be kind and loving and empathetic and honest as well as compassionate. I live in fear every day and I feel so alone it’s crippling. I almost got sent to a psychiatry place when I talked to a therapist at my school. The other lady said that I was normal, that made me feel better but I just want peace.
Can someone point me in the direction of how to receive an emotional support animal letter/certificate? It’s for landlord purposes. I am located in the US.
so it’s likely that if you’re here you can relate to the feeling of discomfort when you’re worried about something related to your obsessions. it’s a very overwhelming experience and one of the most difficult parts of this disease. i frequently see people post from that position begging anyone for help or clarity. my question is, what should someone do when they are suffering this way? or how can someone else support someone who’s going through this? i know that we’re supposed to avoid seeking reassurance and sit with the feeling, but is there any other actions one can take in the moment? maybe i just answered my own question, i’m just sitting here and I want more than anything to ask a friend whether i’m being irrational for this feeling to go away
I don’t really have any physical compulsion to where I need to wash my hands or anything like that besides when someone says something that triggers me I have to knock on wood because then I feel if I don’t something bad will happen but it has nothing to do with the intrusive thoughts going on in my head. When I get intrusive thoughts in my mind, I’ll sing a song in my head to get rid of the thought or try to replace it with a more positive thought. Are these compulsions ?
The worst thing about harm OCD is I don't even want to be around my cat. I love her so much, I would do anything for her, but my legs are constantly buzzing, feeling like I'm going to step on her - and worse, like I want to. I hate it. I live in a 400 sq ft or less apartment and am triggered basically 24/7 because she is always there. Before this relapse, her always being in sight was my favorite thing ever. I'm so tired.
do you guys sometimes wonder if you wont act on your thoughts because you dont want to go to jail and not because you despise them?
So my tik toks been flooded lately with true crime especially the Idaho case and I watched like 2 as a erp exposure and it didn’t bother me in the moment but yesturday I had a harm inteusive thought that scared me and now I’m getting thoughts like what if you did that and what if I go to jail and I’m remaining calm because I know it’s just my ocd and I’ve been through it before and I do not want to go back down that dark rabbit hole like when I first got harm ocd a year ago and knew nothing of it. I’m handling it a 100 times better than I did in the past I’m just worried I may go backwards and I don’t want to but I’m trying to just distract myself in a way listen to music and kinda ignore my mind. Idk if it counts as a mental compulsion but I just said nope not doing this when the THOUHHT came in and it kinda helped
Hey guys, I was wondering if y’all could send some good vibes my way. I discovered the other night (during an exposure) that ocd being triggered and trauma being triggered feel pretty much exactly the same for me. Which means all the ways I’ve been terrified of being an awful person, not true. However that means that I’ve let my OCD get bigger then I’ve ever let it (I’m almost home bound outside of work, avoiding people because of the harm intrusive thoughts) and I’ve been through intensive ERP twice already. Just struggling to stay positive since this time the OCD has made everything feel unsafe, and it just feels like a massive mountain to climb. Much love, thanks
Does anyone else feel like an awful person if they don’t act on compulsions? I’ve been getting better but it sucks to ignore/not pay any attention to my thoughts. I feel like if I don’t prove myself then I’m bad
Does anybody have advice for staying on top of your ERP homework & treatment? Having a hard time.
Just putting this out there hoping by sharing I can see this for what it is,and any advice would be nice.The other day I bought a stuffed animal for my grand daughter,and now I’m having thoughts that I put something on it that could make her sick if she got it in her mouth,I’ve been having a hard time even visiting with my granddaughter who is 6 months old because I’m afraid I might hurt her,I don’t feel like much of a grandmother 🥲
Why does ocd literally feel like a full time job constantly trying to prove to myself that I’m not a bad person and worrying about my thoughts. Even past 8 months where I’ve Carrie done life as normal the thoughts were always still there in back of my mind why can’t they just fully go away I don’t get it am I going to have to constantly worry for the rest of my life? Why can’t I just move on why can’t I just trust myself I feel so uncomfortable all the time I hate my intrusive thoughts. Why didn’t I get proper help sooner bc ocd was trying to convince me that if I did I’d be Locked up or nobody would trust me anymore. I feel like I have to figure it all out on my own it’s just awful I don’t even know how to live in the moment anymore. Someone tell me it can get easier again please.
Im strugling with harm ocd for a while now and i use the method what people told me but it still doesnt help me and when i get into a bad situation or life sucks, this always comes back. So i got into a conclusion, eitherway the obsession is to hurt myself and the urge to do it is the compulsion which after time turns into reassurance from people cause i do not harm myself, never did, OR the life problems are the obsession cause im affraid of suffering, pain, i dont want to feel any so the compulsion would be to harm or kill myself. This one sounds more real cause theres the actual fear, but in the first one theres no fear. But either way its still bad. I got to this conclusion cause im tired of hearing people with harm ocd saying they fighting with fear, while i feel like im fighting with the actual urge, i always have to remind myself the reasons why i shouldnt to it which doesnt sound like what other people with harm ocd do cause they already know why they shouldnt do it. Anyway can this 2 obtions be possible? Or im just overthinking it
one of the most frustrating things about ocd is trying to form a solid identity. it’s so hard to know when and when not to label thoughts intrusive and sometimes i feel as though i have no idea who i actually am and only have a picture of a terrible person i could be
When feeling mad or annoyed does your Harm OCD thoughts come out ? Like you don’t like the thought but the anger is contributing to the thoughts
i had my first day of work today. work has been very difficult since the onset of my ocd. my obsessions can get very dark and lead to a lot of shame that impedes my ability to interact and connect with others. i haven’t been able to hold a job for more than a month or two. today felt different, whether it’s my meds or the treatment i’m in, i sat with extreme discomfort and i’m proud of myself for getting through it
Hello everyone. What do you do if your spouse really doesn’t believe you have OCD and doesn’t like to spend money on therapy? I’m retired and on a fixed income. Thanks.
so my knuckle may have briefly touched this woman’s back when i was walking past her and playing with my earbud, i’m constantly scared of touching people because it makes me feel like a creep. she didn’t seem bothered at all but i am nervous wondering it may have been slightly intentional.
I hate when these happen... “What if you did this terrible thing?” “I won’t.” “But, what if you did?” “I won’t.” “But, what if you did?”
I just had a really scary intrusive thought that I really haven’t had in a long time and it scared me and I started worrying and rushing time so I can leave so I could be safe and nothing could happen that my intrusive thought sent me. I did notice the difference since being in recovery like I recognized it labeled it as intrusive and ocd and got back in my car afterward and drove home but it’s just sitting in my mind but I’m not ruminating which is a good thing I think.
Release the stress, release the compulsions, release the anxiety forget the rest!!!in my best Beyoncé voice lol OCD you won’t break my soullll
I read something on the internet about how to react to thoughts, to see it as not your actual mind sending this to you , but more like an illness or disorder. So you can see the difference as i do, but the problem was that this advice was for suicidal people and it worked for my harm thoughts too. And now that im detached from it, i still doesnt see it as an ocd thought, cause there wasnt compulsion,and the thoughts wasnt "what if" thoughts, more like my mind was trying to convince me to hurt people or myself. So the detaching method worked but i feel that i got misdiagnosed, and this isnt ocd.
I'm most vulnerable to my intrusive thoughts and false memories when I first wake up. Once I'm more awake, I can work through discomfort better. Some days are easier than others.
Have any of you guys done the write a crime report exposure? I don't really have the false memories (at least I think that's what I've been experiencing) anymore, but I'm still uneasy for some reason so I'm wondering if that would be helpful. Thank you
Will I do it in real life ore only in my head since 3 month I don't can get out of me in stuck in my mind
I don’t know what to do weather to go out or not I’m worried that my intrusive thoughts will ruin it and scared that if I go out it makes me a bad person idk what to do I feel like going would be facing the fear but not going makes me feel better I’ve not been out expect for work in weeks
Ever since this bad flare up I’ve isolated myself from everybody. I’ve been asked to go out for a meal with family and I don’t know if to go or not I feel like I should as it’s an exposure but my ocd is making me feel bad saying why would you want to be around a trigger you must want the bad thoughts. I hate myself. how can I get passed this horrible feeling
For a while I thought I was making progress and getting better. I was going to school and my stability was better than it is now. Today I broke. Everything all at once, it was all so loud in my head. I’m scared I’m a monster. And me hiding in my room makes me feel as though my family is safe. I’ve been taking 75mgs of Zoloft for about a week now before that it was 50 and I’ve been on Zoloft a total of two months. I don’t know if this is starting side effects to Zoloft but I’ve been so on edge and I feel scared of myself and what the thoughts I’m having are. School is torture now. And I just want to sleep all the time. Escape into my dreams where reality isn’t real. I just wish I could escape, I feel like a terrible brother and son. My baby sisters tuck me in sometimes. I should tuck them in. I’m a terrible brother and a terrible son I don’t have anything special about me. I would be disappointed in myself. But even spite all of this my mom has been so graceful and loving making it a point to show how important I am to everybody and it helps me feel a bit better. I’m gonna cry listen to music and sleep. See y’all later
you know when your ocd convinces you that you’re a dangerous person who isn’t safe for others to be around? in spite of what you know about yourself? soooo frustrating because it feels so legitimate
I went to a spar with my gf this weekend for her bd and I got overwhelming feelings attraction to other girls there and I don’t want to be in a relationship if I feel like that towards other girls as me and my gf don’t kiss or a spark there due to all the ocd trauma
a few months ago i thought i was going insane because i kept having all these things i kept calling delusions when it was really false memories and then i finally googled “why do i keep having ‘what if’ thoughts that feel real” and it took me to NOCD and things have been going up ever since because now i know i’m not crazy or alone so if you feel alone or at a really bad point in your life just know that you’re not alone and things will get better you just have to just trust the process!
Has anyone experienced a thought like “what if gods plan for me is to harm someone” I am religious and often I beg god to take these thoughts away. Is this just ocd using my beliefs against me? This relapse just feels so different and it’s horrible. I can’t do anything without an intrusive thought popping up. I’m constantly testing myself to see if I still have anxiety, if when I cry it’s real or if I’m just being manipulative?? That’s actually a big one for me and it scares me. I’m currently pregnant and this relapse came back at around 6 weeks and I’m currently 12 weeks 5 days. I’m scared to listen to the loop tapes in fear that I will like the thoughts. I’m just stuck.
So lately my thoughts have been getting better as I’m not having the thoughts all day long. But then there are times where I see a knife or something that could cause harm and the thoughts come back. Or even when I just think about the thoughts cause I’m not having them, it feels like I want to act on the thoughts. I don’t know if I worded that great but is that normal with harm ocd?
I’m at school right now and I can’t even focus my intrusive thoughts are SO loud. Nothing I do seems to get them to go away for me to just work and get things done. My head keeps lying to me. And I have Harm OCD and people and looking at people is a huge trigger and at school there are tons of people. I feel like I could l explode. I want to run away. I hate school, before all of this I used to love it so much seeing my friends and everything and then all of this began and now I have everything I used to love. I’m so depressed all of the time and I stay in my room cause I think my family is safer if I am away from them. I am struggling so bad and I feel like I’m dragging my family down with me. Maybe they would be better off if they didn’t have a son/brother like me. It just sucks everything sucks.
Wanted to share somethin! I'm visiting my sister in Michigan, and she has a surgery that required her to leave at 12:45AM, which would leave me with her kids, I was dealthy terrified of having a panic attack because like, I'm alone with 3 smallish children whom I had to wait for the bus with in the morning, which is when the rumination is the worst, and everything went extremely well and all the kids made it to school. It was a proud moment for me :)
I have no fricking idea what is going on with me? Does Zoloft cause emotional roller coasters? One minute I’m laughing happy and fine and then I slammed with intrusive thoughts and anxiety. As well as biting my nails and shaking so bad. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this during school tomorrow- something doesn’t feel right something feels off. I should be feeling happy right? Idk I feel like I’m on a emotional roller coaster with ALOT of loops. My stomach twist and turn. Especially when having the thoughts. And I shake and feel nauseous. Idk maybe I need to eat. Anyways how was ur guys day? Any tips or ideas of what’s going on here😅 much loveh
Struggling a lot rn with “what if ____ did happen and you just don’t remember it?” Happens when I am asked to recall events or when I have a drink, even when nowhere near drunk/losing memory 😞 been happening a lot at work where I’m concerned I’ve been messing up and just not remembering it