- Username
- ezramillerscene
- Date posted
- 7h ago
- Young adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Religion & Spirituality OCD
- Magical Thinking OCD
i understand that these thoughts aren’t real, but whenever i don’t follow them bad things truly do happen. i know it’s just my brain finding patterns and it’s all a coincidence but it’s enough to terrify me back into my patterns. if i don’t follow my schedule to a t, something bad will happen. if i don’t do some random thing my brain told me to do (eating soap, kicking the table, hurting myself) something bad will happen. sometimes i look around and my brain just tells me i’m not allowed to use certain things anymore, no matter how important. most of my clothes, school supplies, and food is now considered “bad”. it’s so frustrating but part of me finds comfort in it. i like feeling like i have control (even though i obviously don’t) over what could potentially happen. i feel like i’m answering to this higher power and anytime i upset it i have to offer something in return so it doesn’t cause something awful to happen. usually it’s hurting myself or eating disgusting things like soap or vinegar. does anyone else relate to this even slightly? i feel so alone.