Order & Symmetry OCD - Community

Since I could remember I always liked things a certain way. My mom noticed and so did my siblings but they don’t think much of it. When I fix something they say miss ocd or they say I fix things that don’t need to be fixed. But everything has a certain way it’s supposed to go and how it’s supposed to rest. If it’s not the right way I get upset or frustrated. I figured I had an organization problem which didn’t used to bother me as much. But now I have to move things in an even way and if I don’t, we’ll I don’t know I always fix it, it is so inconvenient. The major things is the moving my body in certain ways until it feels right, having to put things in the correct spot, and touching things evenly (which majorly annoys me and has only gotten worse). It shouldn’t bother me that much but the habits and compulsions that my body has to do makes me sore and I’m starting to get very upset. I thought I was managing it well until my friend stayed the night in my dorm and she said that I need help with my ocd. I asked her if my mom told her but she said she always figured I had it. I asked why and she said my movements looked like it. She said she saw signs in highschool and that she never knew how bad it was until she saw me in my natural living setting. I just need some clarity and was on how to improve myself. Please do not use the suggestion of trying to avoid my habits because it will not work and I will only get very upset, which often leads to bad and unwanted thoughts.

Hello friends 🌻 I hope you're all doing well. Lately, I've been diving into ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy to tackle my OCD, particularly my checking behaviors. My therapist mentioned that I might have some similarities with "just right" OCD, and that got me curious. While I've done a bit of online research, I thought it would be awesome to chat with you all and get your insights. To give you a bit of context, I've found myself compulsively checking all sorts of things - doors, stoves, locks, random plastic I find on the ground, and even my phone screen and others devices. These behaviors have been a constant in my life, and I believe that understanding the "just right" aspect could be a game-changer for me. So, if any of you have experience with "just right" obsessions or can share how it fits into the world of OCD, please comment! Knowing that I'm not alone in this journey and hearing how you've dealt with similar challenges would mean the world to me. Thank you all in advance for your support and advice. Let's be there for each other as we navigate the ups and downs of managing our OCD.

I hate that I feel a sense of relief after giving in and completing my compulsion. I’m scared I rely on them so much for relief from my anxiety.

hey, just wondering if anyone else experiences this? just hoping to not feel so alone. whenever i try a bit of exposure therapy, i can always find a minor inconvenience that happens during/after the exposure and i chalk it up as a 'warning' to not attempt to stray from my OCD, or whatever it was i was avoiding before exposing myself to it. just wondering if anyone else does this?

I have ADHD but I keep having these obsessive thoughts about cleaning my room. It’s been dirty for a while and it makes me extremely uncomfortable but I have trouble bringing myself to actually do it. Any tips?

Two months ago, I was the best I’ve ever been with my mental health after doing NOCD therapy twice weekly. I call it my “graduation” since I stepped back with my therapists permission to transition to managing things on my own with the tools I learned. Admittedly, I have not been attending support groups or doing exposures, and I have had some mildly stressful events in life. Today is a rough day. I woke up feeling down, and immediately the mental rumination started down the path toward mental compulsions. I got a good cry in, scheduled an appointment with my therapist, and am moving forward. Any encouragement during this rough patch is welcomed!

Im having so much trouble doing the ERP on one certain problem. Im afraid of it. I guess I just need encouragement.

Anxiety! Pressured! Unprepared!

I have been waiting for my direct deposit to go in since yesterday. I had my list of things to do yesterday, moved my tasks to today, now of course, it still isn’t there! This kind of thing is what drives me bonkers is waiting and waiting and checking the account over and over!!! So frustrating!

I’ve been feeling like everything needs to be perfect lately, even me. Also I over think everything and put pressure on myself if something is not exactly how I feel it should be. I took a test on ocd and decided to download this app! By the way here’s a cute dog!

Yesterday was my first time meeting with my therapist and it was the first time I’ve ever been in therapy and felt understood!!!! I even watched the video afterwards and realized that there’s things I do that I didn’t even realize was related to my OCD!!!! I thought most of the things I did were just interesting quirks I had that were just part of who I am. For instance I will often go down rabbit holes of say I noticed that I blinked so I had to make sure I blinked an even number of times and then it takes over the rest of my day but it doesn’t necessarily block a thought because it comes on separately. Or my need for symmetry and order etc doesn’t necessarily get rid of something but merely makes me feel safer. I don’t know if I’m making sense but my point is that I finally feel heard and understood!!!!!

My therapist appointment (external from NOCD) completely disregarded my ocd and told me she’s considering generalised anxiety or social anxiety instead 🙃 I called to ask for a new therapist with OCD experience and the wait time is 2 months out. Again. Hard to find good help I suppose. Glad I joined NOCD. Seeing if my insurance can help me out here instead. 🙏🏼

i don’t know why but today my ocd is killing me. it feels like i’m cluttered and disorganized when in reality im very organized. i just bought a new car yesterday and impulsively spent money at target for “necessities” for my new car. this made me realize how many “necessities” i have in my purse and bedroom. i organized and spent money to help relieve some of my anxiety and ocd but it didn’t help my brain calm down or feel satisfied. what do i do to stop feeling cluttered and instead content.

Finished listening to the OCD Healing journey book by Mark DeJesus and have been blown away on his understanding of my OCD. It was like he got in my head and read everything going on. He does a great job explaining the 7 distortions of OCD. He really got to a root of the problem. Learning what Gods unconditional love is. How I yearn to know it and struggle with it cause my earthly father didn’t give it to me.

It’s normal for me…counting constantly or making repetitive noises.

sometimes it’s so hard when everything just becomes so overwhelming like when I see something and it doesn’t look right and I try to ignore it and I’ll get pains and this unsettling feeling if I don’t touch it or make it right it’s so hard to just ignore it does anyone have any anything that could take my mind of it because even when I’m just walking it takes double the time because I have routines and stuff I need to touch I know I need to break out of them but it’s hard

I don't even really know what I'm trying to ask. My head feels like a solid brick; like, heavy or dense. I struggle to form full thoughts A LOT of the time. It feels like I'm getting a "This voice-mail inbox is full." message. I'm wondering if that's the "Pure" OCD and I've just literally blocked every single thought in general, regardless of if it's obsessive/intrusive or not. I love to write and paint and I literally get .5 seconds of valuable thought going for creativity and then it's blank like my brain just hung up on me. It includes other situations like me telling myself I need to do something (helpful, good, etc.) and I'm thinking: "I need a gameplan/strategy" and it stops right there 😅 I guess I don't have free-flowing thoughts, just forced nonsense that was nothing to begin with and doesn't pan out. I am starting to realize that I compulsively clean my house when I'm very stressed or on the occasion I do have intrusive thoughts - but I don't really know how to manage that because I do like a clean home, but I get ridiculously stressed out if it's not immaculate. I accept that it won't ever be immaculate because I have 3 kids (two toddlers) so... I just block the stress and obsessive desire? But I also HAVE to clean a lot every day since my toddlers are savages 😂 I don't fucking know. Reading what I wrote sounds like I'm all over the place.

trying to hang posters up while having ocd is NOT for the weak

I want to stop feeling out of control about little or big things that are not changeable. I want to stop pleasing and overly explaining. I want to stop worrying about how others see me. I want help with random work habits. I start one thing and get obsessed with doing more and more…skipping around to different projects all at once. I want to quit humming. I want to quit clicking teeth when I’m stressed

I’ve always had an issue with things needing to be in their “precise” place. And I’ve always repositioned things or had a hard time cleaning because if things aren’t put back the way they were then I lose my mind. I start panicking and everything. Like I tried to put my throw blanket back on the couch. I was just trying to get it to look cute and I haven’t moved it in weeks then I move it and I can’t get it right. Then my boyfriend keeps making jokes saying that it’s too crinkly and I know he’s messing w me on purpose and i was getting so overwhelmed and he thinks it’s funny and I was like “I’m literally gonna kill myself this is fucking shit”. And I started crying. I didn’t mean that. I say things I mean when I get overwhelmed and upset. In that moment I just lost it. I was so mad at the blanket and myself and his jokes. It sounds so stupid too. Then he hugs me and says he’s kidding and it was funny. I said it wasn’t funny to me because I’m seriously panicking over it. Everyone says they can’t joke with me and it just makes me feel worse.

I am newly diagnosed OCD. It hasn’t even been a full year. I’m on meds but I don’t think they’re working. I’m going to talk to my doc about it. I’m having a lot of trauma resurface and it has triggered my OCD. I’m trying to keep it in check but it’s not really working. I’m being obsessive about things being in order and out of place and I’m counting 3’s and 4’s. It’s causing me so much anxiety because I can’t control anything. I don’t feel out of control, but I feel like I will loose it. I have anxiety meds but they are really strong and I can’t afford to be asleep constantly. What do you guys do other than meds as a soothing or coping mechanism? I’m so new to this that I haven’t learned how to do any of those things.

I’m 57 years old married 35 years with 6 beautiful children 1 son in law and just learned I had OCD controlling me my whole life. I work in telecommunications engineer and operations which helped hide it. It’s had such a grip on me I thought I was broken for good. It impacted my relationships, faith in God got really distorted, and my ability to love myself. My mother was a schizophrenic, father an alcoholic, and OCD was my drug of choice. Realizing this has broken me deep to my core but know now that I can only go up from here. So thankful for the support of my loving family. No more shit fits, pity parties, porn addiction, or attempting perfection. A new life is beginning with understanding my OCD and how it distorted my reality.

so i was watching the q&a with patrick mcgrath and stacey tonight, and stacey said she gave her ocd a name. i thought “thats a good idea!! i wanna name mine but idk what,” i figured it would eventually come to me. well, later tonight i had an intrusive thought and said in my head “oookkaayyy little miss sunshine,” and i found my ocd’s name. i’ve also been trying to figure out a username and didn’t know what to make it, and now i have one!! its the little things that make each day just a tiny bit easier!! :))

Everyday I complete my morning ritual by making my bed. I’ll spend 10-15 minutes making sure it looks perfect and then stand by my door, ready to leave, and stare at it. If I see a ruffle in the sheets or my stuffed animals aren’t in the correct spot I’ll keep moving everything until I’m satisfied. I came home from school today and went in my room to find that my mom had stripped a blanket off my bed. I started freaking out and frantically put the bed back together, making it perfect of course, in tears because it was so distressing. My mom comes home later and as this has been an issue before, I expressed that I really don’t like when she comes into my room while I’m not there. I’m not hiding anything. I just hate the way she’ll mess up my carpet by stepping on it a certain way or wash my sheets and blankets when I take the time everyday to make my bed. Obviously I’m very grateful for a mom who is kind enough and willing to wash the things on my bed but it really takes a toll on me and I wish I wasn’t like this. I’m honestly not looking for advice. I don’t plan on trying to change my habits because frankly I do like to make my bed, even though it’s become a bit obsessive. I’m just looking for support, people who can relate, and a place to share my experiences living with OCD.

I was officially diagnosed today after suffering in silence for years. I am starting 25mg of zoloft and I am very nervous but proud of myself. Any tips/ advice would be appreciated. I finally made it to the first step of recovery!🤍

I have debilitating panic attacks every single day due to my OCD. They prevent me from going to school, work, as well as basic functions like using the bathroom, eating, and sleeping. I know it has been used to treat other anxiety disorders; there’s just not a whole ton on using it for OCD specifically. I’ve read that people with OCD are more prone to substance abuse issues, and are advised to stay away incase of that, but I want to know if people have been able to not become dependent.

I got some cleaning done today. I've completely ignored my triggers today, ignored the thoughts and so far super proud of myself for trucking forward as normal as possible. I love the days when I feel more like my old "less crazy" self 🤣🥲 I hope each and every one of you are having a wonderful day! God bless you my friends. Hope exists; I'm learning to have more faith in myself and less faith on my brain that doesn't like to cooperate and lies constantly. I pray the noise in your head quiets down today so you can all have a moment of peace. Give yourself grace and take the day one minute at a time if you have to.

I'm feeling anxiety and something holding on my chest. So i've been married for 1,5 year and having a lovely daughter. I'm feeling stressful that my wife is very unorganized and everything in the house is messy. I did organizing everything but just stands for few days then after that back to messy again because of my wife. I'm very tired that these thing happen over and over again. I'm trying to deal with it and thinking "that is okay to messy" and learn to live that way, but just for few days my feeling and my mind feel like gonna explode. Please do advise🙏, many thanks

Does anyone else get aggravated when you tell someone something in the past multiple times and they just don’t recall it? I always think either 1) they just don’t pay attention to what I say or 2) they don’t care…. Yet I recall everything? So frustrating.

Has anyone ever been diagnosed witg this disorder? If so what helped you?

The other day I had one of my OCD ticks and my friend saw it. (She knows I have OCD) And then she laughed at me and said It’s stupid and childish. 😭💀 I hate when people see me having a tick.

I feel like I'm nuts so does some of my family members,I'm obsessed with cleaning and have everything in it's place,what can I do

does anyone ever feel like your compulsions start again after having really good days even if there aren’t obsessions that trigger compulsions? but then i give into the compulsions and the obsessions start

Has anyone had such bad panic attacks from their ocd intrusive thoughts that it makes you feel like you’re having a heart attack or something?? I am currently on 3 days straight of panic attacks and can’t seem to get them to stop

Hello. I have been wanting to get tested for ADHD for a while because I have strong symptoms / signs of adhd but also know ocd can have similarities with adhd. Has anyone had any experience with this that they are willing to share?

Hi! Has anyone taken Zoloft for OCD and has it reduced intrusive thought or compulsions?? I just started taking it today 50 mg also curious how long it takes to work?

Busprione or Lexapro. Both in very low doses, I’m having to move due to an eviction, while working and also being a mom to my 2 year old. We are moving in with my in laws and turning a big closet into a room, all of my things are everywhere, there’s barely any organization and won’t be for a few weeks, the intrusive thoughts decided to also make an appearance.. on top of this my parents are fighting with me and making me feel like a failure of a daughter and mother and I have had 3 panic attacks today. I feel completely empty, tired and nauseas. My head is spinning. I need something to help, I have these two medications from the past.. I don’t love the side affects but anything is better than how I feel rn..

I have this compulsion where I have to click my teeth together until they click together "just right." it's tolerable sometimes but it's been so bad lately my molars are starting to hurt from being ground together so often. it's driving me absolutely insane!!!!! i was wondering if anybody else had been through something similar or understands. thank you all

Why might it be that when I go to set an item down perfectly and then go to read something my eyes get stuck looking too slowly and I can’t read words fast enough?

I have to drive to Charleston this morning for work and I’m 3 hours away (I only have to go once or twice a month). It isn’t so much the drive, but the fact of the storms and storm surge that will be downtown. I’m from Charleston but it’s the drive that’s making me nervous! Among other things.

Why does my therapist asked me to identify my fears before starting my ocd exposure therapy?

Any one know of a good journal book online? I think that would help out my thoughts to paper. Don’t a regular diary

This is the absolute worst my OCD has ever been. It takes up every second of every day in my mind, I can turn it off. I feel like a failure. How do you show yourself compassion in these times?

Feel like everything is out of place with my symmetry/numerical based ocd. It’s looking for an excuse for me to ritualize, just to fix some things.

So if I try and ignore the thoughts and compulsions will it get better?

Im playing a game on a bit of a old hd tv but everytime im play my head says the screen has green on the screen now i cant stop trying to analyse the screen to see if there green

Hi my name is cassidy n I’m having a difficult time with stuff rn I just got hand surgery done n since then I’ve been wanting to do things that I can’t do rn n it’s irrating n frustrating the shit outta me n it’s triggering a lot of my ocd issues n adhd n I’m kinda homebound until I’m able to get back to work but tell me something I can do to help maybe with my ocd triggers cuz I’m completely outta ideas n opinions on stuff to do or anything…

Hi. I’m new to this platform so I’m really hoping it will help me work through my anxiety, OCD and all of my diagnoses. I’ve tried everything! Today already my anxiety is bad for absolute no reason!

what i mean by bedroom ocd is that if something like a hair is dropped on my floor i freak out and have to vacuum the whole room. if something bothers me just a little about my room i ruin everything and start over the whole theme. something as simple as imagining the room would look better a different color can cause me to spiral. i thought i had my ocd under control but lately no matter if i do the compulsions or not i don’t feel happy or content nor satisfied. i am only 22 i don’t want my life to feel like this.

Hanging in there today. Experiencing my usual mix of symmetry ocd and religious ocd but nothing stopping me in my tracks. Feeling good today.

Relationship OCD is the most crippling thing to me and I don’t know how it isn’t the biggest theme for every single person with OCD because humans need connection in order to live healthy and OCD thrives on uncertainty and there’s nothing more uncertain then another person with their own thoughts and feelings. My OCD is having a field day with it but I must say I am making amends progress, but it is hell. But the only way to conquer hell (OCD) is to step right in it voluntarily.

i’ve always wondered if some of my thought patterns and external mannerisms were normal or not… i remember from a young age getting into “habits” such as squeezing my eyes shut, raising my eyebrows, straining my neck, unnecessarily repeating words under my breath, and i was constantly counting my steps (always had to be even number if the tile changed etc, and i would count either to 8 or 12 and restart). also if i was accused of doing something out of poor intentions when it wasn’t true, i would replay the situation over and over again almost gaslighting myself into thinking i was intentionally in the wrong (which i’ve heard could be false memory ocd). now i’m 18 and a new college student and the physical tendencies have become more out of a desire for a balance in my sensations. for example, if i wink and someone with my right eye, i will probably wink again with my left eye to “balance it out” and may even repeat the process multiple times to fulfill this desire for “balance.” this also happens with flexing a certain muscle, straining one side of my neck, or if one foot drags while walking (regardless, i have to do it with both sides of my body). i also am constantly adjusting the straps on my backpack bc i can’t stand one side feeling heavier than the other. additionally, with tasks such as getting ready in the morning, packing for a trip, or cleaning, it takes me longer than most people which i always attributed to being “thorough.” my room gets messy sometimes, but if everything is clean and put away, i could be running late and still turn back to adjust the positioning of one small thing that seems out of place to me or it’ll be nagging me for a while. no one has ever told me i should be tested for anything and i’ve always done really well in school and numerous extracurriculars, so i don’t even know the point in being diagnosed. this could also be a jumble of weird traits i have that are totally random and completely i associated with ocd. i’ve just become more interested in figuring out why my mind and body function the way they do bc it seems different from most others. but maybe it’s not and that’s ok!! sorry to anyone that’s read this far, and thanks for sticking around lol.

My brother got labs done and they say that hyperglycemic and I looked up that it means he needs to eat more or have more sugars in his body but he is in to fitness so he fasts a lot but I can’t make him understand that it’s supposed to be in moderation and he is still not seeking help he is stand by the fact of “we’ll who looks better” and yeah sure you can look good but you’re still unhealthy and at risk of dying and ive heard that eating correctly can reduce symptoms of ocd but he continues to do it and continues to act manic

I can’t stop worrying about cleaning and organizing to even spend time with my family or enjoy anything. Always worried something ain’t clean lol Ive even been late to work sometimes trying to do one “last thing”!!!

Sometimes I think about all of the hours, days, and probably years that have been lost to OCD...to the obsessions and compulsions. It really does rob you of precious, meaningful, productive time. Combine that with addiction, and it becomes blurred, lost time. But luckily I am sober now, and my OCD is somewhat under control (I still have breakthrough episodes).. but it's just something I think about now and then. Maybe others can relate.

I know that talk therapy is not beneficial for ocd, and is not meant to treat it. However, I was wondering if anyone has done erp for their ocd while also doing talk therapy for other areas of their life and how that has worked out?

I feel like I never see any posts with the order/symmetry tag (maybe I'm not looking at the right times), so I'm curious if/how other folks experience this. The fact that symmetry was a subset of OCD really spoke to me when I was first looking into it. I had always assumed I was just a textbook Libra ⚖️ but now I know it's the OCD 😅

I’m young and have ocd the worst on I have is intrusive thoughts and it’s making my life terrible I just want this to go away and have good thoughts instead😭

Hey everyone, my name is Kenzie and I have had trichotillomania for about 7 years since the start of middle school and I am now a senior in high school taking dual enrollment classes and online classes . If you don’t already know, trich is an anxiety related disorder that causes me to unleash my anxious emotions by pulling out my hair. My main problem is with my eyelashes at the moment. My OCD comes into play when there is a particular lash that is different from the rest that makes me want to pull and if I don’t pull it I will become more stressed and anxious. I am on medication for both anxiety and Trichotillomania but I still pull. And it becomes really bad when I’m doing online school. So I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions on what I can do to distract my hands while I am doing school. I have tried stress toys but my hand will always reach back to my face when I don’t even realize. Thank you so much!

does anyone else’s ocd make them think that they’ll never be happy like that freeing feeling that everything is where it should be in ur life physically and rhetorically?

So I have OCD, I was diagnosed by my therapist so I never got much more information other than that. Ever since I could remember, I needed everything in order or else I would fixate on it until it was in order. Although it has to do with and started with cleaning, it’s really more of an order thing. My biggest trigger, though is losing an item… it could be anything as small as a hair tie or a meaningless key chain. When I feel that I have everything in my life “together,” my brain can “set” but if my OCD tells me I’m cluttered, happiness doesn’t even look close to the horizon and I feel stuck in a never ending spiral of writing down where an item could be or thinking about where it could be or thinking about if I didn’t do this one thing then maybe I would be happy and with the item that I lost. It’s exhausting and sometimes it stresses me out with the thought of even getting better. Is anyone else like this???

Thank you so much! I do feel like Ive progressed.

Does all ocd require medication to treat?

I’ve been in the marine corp for 4 years and recently got out came back home and my brother is struggling with ocd and I feel like I am at fault for the change to his environment and my mother says that it’s been happening for a year now and that he has gotten worse recently but won’t accept help how do I convince him to seek help

An issue I run into a lot with my ocd is ocd thoughts, actions, and repetitions that are generally good things. It makes it hard because I know it is my ocd and I want to get out of these habits, but they are good habits. I find it hard to figure out if I should even try to stop them. Does anyone else have this problem?

I do this thing a lot where I will be doing a task/activity and somehow I will “mess it up.” Then I have to do it all over again or from the most logical reset point. For example: Showering, if I don’t wash in the correct way. Then I have to do it all over again.

Hello, I don’t have time to take care of myself or rest. I spend my day cleaning and organizing my house because I want everything to be and look perfect. I am retired now, but still work all day in the house. I was the same way when I worked. When I go on vacation, I end up been very tired because I need to “ leave things ready” before I go.

My number is four- everything everything if fours. I’m just wondering, what subcategory of OCD would this fit into- just right, symmetry, something else? Or is it a category of its own?

I struggle with certain OCD things! The whole stepping on cracks and lines- that’s me! I hate public restrooms. I hate dirty places and smells. If I see something gross- it will stick in my head for a while. Germs gross me out beyond words. Yet- I’m not the most organized person. I get so overwhelmed trying to clean everything and it never feels good enough. Clutter makes me crazy yet I’m a clutter bug. It’s clean clutter tho- go figure! It will be stacked up- neatly but clutter. My brain can’t decide where to put certain things. I exhaust myself from even trying to figure stuff out.

It took me a while to understand my OCD diagnosis. For a while I figured was just over thinking about everything and having everything in order made me less anxious… well it turns out there’s a lot more to this then I knew, and I guess I’m here to learn about it and hopefully find people who feel the same

Hey I was wondering if anyone knows what the causes could be for ocd. If it’s a trauma response or just something your born with. I keep trying to think back on to when my behaviors started but I can’t tell if it was compulsive behaviors or me just being a kid . I’m 14 and I don’t really know how it progressed or when it started.

How do I know if I have OCD, I don’t want to diagnose myself but I don’t have insurance to go to therapy but this started to happened the last couple of years but it’s progressing got worse. I used to not clean constantly but now I feel like I have to clean at least twice a day, sometimes I can go without cleaning ( Dusting , Vacuuming ) but then I get upset and my anxiety builds up and I feel like I have to deep clean a lot. I don’t know what’s wrong with me… I feel like I make people uncomfortable cause I tell them I would rather clean after their mess but then I go back and check and double clean up even if it’s cleaned. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

My OCD is really bad right now and has been for a few days now. I had a visit from a friend who also suffers from OCD, and I think having him over and seeing his rituals, and comparing them to mine was a trigger. I have OCD over objects, symmetry and perfection of thoughts and behaviors. It’s also been about how I envision something too. I’ll have to look at an object a certain way or angle until it feels just right. I’m just looking to more express myself or vent, because it’s been very hard for me the past few days. I’ve used up so much time in my day OCDing that I could’ve been doing better things.

I just got prescribed lexapro today. my sister takes it (she also has ocd) and it works really well for her! i’m really excited but also nervous. my biggest fear is that it some how makes me worse. i’m starting off on 2.5 mg and i’m just really hoping it works as well for me as it does for her 🥰

Hi..idk where to start but I feel like I’m ruining my life so maybe somebody on here can relate maybe even give me hope. About 3 months ago maybe things started to change. It all began very small and harmless. Double checking that I put something down in its correct specific spot…making sure the outlets were unplugged before exiting a room…being positive that I shut or locked a door. I didn’t think too much of it as I have other family members in the house that have similar small habits. However, mine did not seem to stop there. Mindlessly and subconsciously, they got worse. Not only was I double checking locked doors, I was now pounding on them and shaking the door handles violently without reason. Just “making sure” they were shut. Flicking light switches on and off multiple times, usually in a set of 3, just because I had to. Putting my debit card back in my wallet only to open it right back up because what if it somehow isn’t in there anymore. I couldn’t understand why all of a sudden I was so unsure of my own actions. Always so anxious and so afraid I was going to do something wrong and that somebody might get hurt because of it. At this point in time, daily tasks become debilitating. I stare at things and just start to cry knowing that I have a struggle in front of me all of a sudden that shouldn’t even exist. A new and very annoying one for me would be turning sinks off. I have always washed my hands an excessive and unnecessary amount of times daily but now I refrain for the fact that if I turn a sink on, shutting it off becomes a 5 minute ordeal due to be feeling like the water is still on even tho it is clearly not. I doubt my own senses constantly. Even if I can see something perfectly I think “what if”. At this point, my family and friends have begun to notice and get quite annoyed with my involuntary actions. Me myself, also. I don’t want to be this way. So many road blocks in my day that don’t need to be there. Typing this even I have had to reread it several times searching for typos and imperfections. I don’t want to have to shut and press down on the fridge door 3 times in a row anymore. Any advice or kind words would help please & thank you for your time.

I am a very neat and tidy person. I like everything a certain way and I spend a lot of time organizing and cleaning. I know that I have I have OCD but I have been having a very difficult time distinguishing what is my OCD and what is just typical house maintenance. It’s very hard to think that my entire personality is because of my OCD. I don’t want to be a messy person with a messy unkept house but I also don’t want to be stuck in my OCD patterns and routines. I live with my family and it has been affecting my relationships with them. They are more messy people and often try to stay tidy for me. I am in charge of the cleaning chores for the house by choice. I get upset when they don’t put items away in the right spot or don’t clean up after themselves properly. That’s why I am the cleaner. My mother wants to help me find a solution to this and is working with me but it is very hard on her. We get into a lot of arguments. I want to have the best of both worlds and make my OCD more manageable as well as keeping up with the house cleaning. Any recommendations?

so i wanted to ask ,when you have an episode or ehen the thoughts are really stressing you what do you do?

Is it hard to balance one's life with Ocd? I've been finding that I obsess over a lot For example religion or real estate I can't seem to balance them I'm all in for one or the other

The other night I was with a friend and we were laughing and messing around with this shirt clamper thingy that sinches the waist of oversized clothes. Tired, I put it on my eyes jokingly as if I could “Sinch my face” but it gave me this feeling that my OCD has been playing on repeat. I think that this ties into some overarching character my OCD likes to play: a fear and want to control the way my body sits and moves at all times. I’ve experienced obsessive physical compulsions in many painful places, but never in my eyes to the extent I am now. It’s like I got this feeling that if I don’t hold my eyes exactly the right way, they might roll in and make me appear scary and deformed. I know it’s stupid, and irrational, but because it makes me feel afraid I think it’s playing on repeat and I want to isolate because of this new anxiety. Any tips on how to calm ourselves down when we are scared of developing new OCD manifestations? I have been doing well and I am scared.

Has anyone worked with a good therapist that specializes in essential OCD?

I have bar exam and o rewrite my notes thousand times to reshap in order to become more accurate but time pass and i can't reach to exam for 8 years! I'm really depressed and exhausted

I’m recently struggling a lot with symmetry ocd, like everytime I touch something with my left I had to do it with my right to make it symmetrical. everytime I put something down I have to make it even too. if I don’t it feels like this constant pulling towards fixing it. how can I change this?

# So I still can’t figure out what sub-type of OCD I have and not one person has been able to tell me they get the same type of compulsions. Yet my symptoms and compulsions seem like classic OCD in that Howard Hughes or Jack Nicholson kind of way. The closest I get is Just Right OCD but even that doesn’t sound right. There is no anxiety attached to my obsessive thoughts and no intrusive thoughts unless intrusive thoughts are thoughts that trigger compulsions. Though, about 20 years ago I had relationship OCD based on past sexual relations. I forgot about that until recently when I started to explore my OCD. I think I also have mental hoarding OCD. I spend at least an hour a day on a diary and often even up to 2 hours even when I don’t have time. This becomes my ultimate priority of the day. I never really saw it as a big problem. It’s this new version of OCD with the mental routines which is really troubling. I seem to have more a compulsive/ritual based/mental routines base. Though I do have an obsessive nature the obsessions don’t seem to have a nexus with the compulsions I am doing every day. The compulsions are mostly in my head and like Mental rituals - sequencing and arranging thoughts into a particular order. Anything can fail the routine and to have to start again. I do these routines during various transits to the day - before meals, before I leave the house (routines relating to my cats to say goodbye for the day for example), before bed, while I am cooking, before I sit down to eat. Etc etc These mental routines typically have affirmations to them ‘thank you for my family, thank you this meal, thank you for this day’ It kind of sickens me that gratitude triggers my OCD. Happiness also triggers it with ‘thank you mental routines’ There are ad hoc routines triggered by thoughts and then there are set routines - every time before I leave the house, eat a meal, before I go to bed. The mental rituals usually have a theme of death. Thoughts of death or deceased people or even old people will reset the routine. Coughing, an itch, my phone giving me a notification will also fail the routine and I start over again. It almost feels like I am playing a game with obstacles but I can’t move on to the next thing until I complete the routine. What sub type do I have ? Do I even have OCD? Why is it never mentioned on NOCD? I hear a lot about taboo OCDs on NOCD but hardly ever anything about stepping over lines or mental routines. Is my OCD type rare??

When I open my phone, or even just light my screen, it’ll illuminate and I’ll see the time on the clock, the battery percentage if I have that setting turned on, the date, any other visual information that I can take in, given the right circumstances (which is most of the time) there presents the need to screenshot my screensaver, there’s thousands upon thousands of these duplicate images in my gallery/camera roll, it had gotten so consistently good at interrupting things for me, think phone calls or if I’m trying to play games with friends it just draws my attention, it’ll even end the call if I do it too fast because it’ll bring up the emergency function that has that white and red panic button, I have to screenshot my screen 16 times, at first it was for both hands so it was equal on both my hands, but with my birthday coming around my mom had gotten me a new phone (woo hoo it’s cool!) but the buttons are parallel so they have a spot one either side for my thumbs to rest and screenshot both hands at the same time, the most detrimental part is the lack of storage that I have at any given time on my devices, I’ll load my phone so fast with these screen shots that it’ll black out with a little loading wheel that has it taking 15 or so seconds to catch up to me, it’s just really odd lol, if I recall I think I picked this up from a danger Dolan video from years back if you can believe that, it was something like “Dolans brother has this silly little thing where he screenshots the number 10:10” or something like that and I guess I just kept it to heart and it slowly but surely got more and more frequent in my daily activities. Just thought I’d share, thank you for your time, please tell me if you can relate or have any similar experiences. Here’s a pic of my camera roll down below :)

https://www.sheppardpratt.org/news-views/story/remembering-to-forget-ocd-and-memory-hoarding/ also im sorry for bringing shepherd pratt into this for anyone w bad experiences there 😬

Often when I'm walking down a side walk or on tiles I can not step on a crack or imperfection on said surface. And if I do, I absolutely have to step on something of equal size and texture on the other foot on the same spot. Or if there are various colors of tiles I must avoid one color OR only step on one color, usually the darkest one. If anyone mentions it it plagues my mind for the rest of the time I'm walking outside or on textured floor. I've been trying to find ways to stop this from happening but it seems to take over my thinking either way. Any advice?

Often, mainly when I'm driving, if I see a sign, billboard, or pretty much any simple sentence, phrase, or word, I have to trace it with my eyes. Generally in the same way you would write it out, but it must be forwards and backwards. I also tend to do this with general shapes and if it gets really bad, I have to do it to real objects. I've found that if I don't do this, it feels as if something is desperately "going to go wrong" or like something is pounding in my head. I'm not sure what to do about this but it has greatly affected my ability to communicate in certain instances because I absolutely had to trace the words I saw. Mainly, it's just a huge pain. Does anyone else do this or something similar to it?

i don’t think that’s an actual term ocd or otherwise, but its kind of the best way to describe it. just trying to get as many objects and people as feel important to you within eye frame and trying to take like the perfect mental picture of it? and trying in different ways until it feels ‘right’ - not adjusting things in the space just yourself. kind of a way of blessing things especially when i’m leaving a room or place idk, but if anyone has experienced stuff like that i would really like to know ab it and also what’s helped you minimize it

To live a better and easier life

For years now I have thoughts my partner (and father of my 3 year old son) is cheating on me and/or will leave me. I haven’t gone to therapy for these and other OCD/depression issues in some time due to money/time issues and came in here as I think I need to reach out for help again. Anyways, this feeling mentioned above most recently was part of the catalyst for us fighting since summer started and he started picking on me for some of my other OCD issues. For instance, I always open the shades of the windows of our bedrooms in the morning and close them after our son has fallen asleep late at night—a routine I do each day. He accused of me of leaving them open while I put my son to bed to draw attention from the new male neighbors (surfers) across the way. I denied it, and tried to explain it was very OCD of me that I did this the same way each day (similar to me showering and making the bed) and have had a hard time altering those steps. I had a big blow up with him and went to my family’s home with my son late last night as I feel like can’t control myself (thoughts and actions) this point. I’m not sure what to do and need guidance/advice.

mann hormones and ocd just are not a good mix 🥲 it’s such a bummer bc i have been doing so well but i have endometriosis so on top of just being emotional i experience really intense pain around my cycle. so the last few days i’ve basically thrown mindfulness out the window and am just trying to survive 😂

Anyone else have dreams where you are either worried about or doing OCD rituals/compulsions? Sometimes they are so vivid that I wake up anxious and I find it peculiar that OCD can be on your mind even when you are asleep.

I want to beat ocd because it is effecting my everyday and in every task I do I t’s something that has effected me for a long time and i just want to be normal I could be walking with friends and they’ll be something in the corner of my eye and I try to ignore it but it’s the only thing that stays on my mind I’ll start getting jitters and then the thoughts will come saying something bass gonna happen if you don’t touch it or if I touch something it has to be in even number even with work I have to have equal amounts of words on each line and when I’m walking I’m always walking weirdly die to me touching stuff recently it’s been switches I have to switch something an equal amount of times or I think someone will die it seems stupid and I try to ignore it but I can’t I just want it to stop

The way I suffer from OCD is from repeated cleaning actions everyday. I don’t let my self sleep or do anything besides cleaning which can take up to 5 hours. If anyone else has these same habits please get back.

I am feeling not well ... because of my fever 🤒

i have struggled with ocd my entire life and i never realized it until recently when i was diagnosed and reading into it and hearing that other people do the same exact things that i do and think the same way i do. it completely robbed my life from me for so long i’m 22 now and i have struggled so much my whole life that i drove myself and everyone around me crazy with the constant need for reassurance and for freaking out about every little medical thing and just everything in general. there’s so much i’ve dealt with i couldn’t fit it all in this post. i think back on all of that time and feel really sad for who i was and i don’t want anyone to feel that way and i really just want to help people not go through that. when i read peoples posts on here it makes me so sad i wish i could just fix it for everyone. i still struggle but i am on medication and feel i’m finally starting to get my life back and i just wanted to put my story out there and just let everyone know if you need someone to talk to i would love to listen and i would love to try and help people! it really comforted me knowing i wasn’t alone and there are so many people out there that understand what i’m going through! so i am here for all of you!

I’ve been working so much and my ocd is going crazy, this week i worked a 53 hour week as i am saving money for university. This is a crazy amount of hours for me i’m 18 and i have only done an extra like two shifts and i usually work around 37 hours a week, because where i work i consider myself to be better than all the other staff, i have been there four years they have beeen there like afew months i continuously find myself fixing their mistakes and changing and cleaning everything and i just can’t help it. A coworker of mine faked having covid too which freaked me out because at the time i belived it but has been proven that they didn’t and they just aren’t coming back. I don’t know what to do i’m so burnt out from my ocd but the more tired i am the harder it is to resist the compulsive cleaning and checking shi. Just feel like i could drop.

(Idk if i have ocd or not but these are just some of my experiences) I feel uneven all the time. Like if I put my hand on a table then I have to put the other one on there too. Or one time I burned one hand on the stove so I burned my other one also to even it out. No matter how hard I try to stop I just can’t. Everything just had to be balanced. Same with when i’m speaking to someone. Let’s say I say the words “door” and “floor”, and let’s say I said “door” twice, I would have to say “floor” twice too because it wouldn’t feel right. It also applies to many other things too but there are just some things that I can’t explain because it’s pretty complicated. If somebody saw what went on inside my brain then they would definitely know smth was wrong. Please helppp 😭😭

I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD but have finally came to terms with something is definitely off about me. I’ve dealt with this situation for as long as I can remember but have always had too much going on in life to put myself first but finally had enough this year and started researching and thinking that maybe I do have it or maybe I have ADHD? I don’t know, but I did schedule my first call for tomorrow so maybe I’ll know more after that. But anyways, I find myself every day having to do things “a certain way” it can be as simple as folding towels a certain way or stacking dishes or for example, I work from home and type 90% of my day and sometimes I’ll find myself rewriting emails because it isn’t “exactly right” and it’s literally just rewriting the same sentences over and over until it “feels good” re doing these tasks every day is so exhausting and time consuming and not to mention embarrassing when other people see me doing something 5 times the same way I did it the first time. I’ve tried ignoring these thoughts or whatever it is, but if I do I get this sinking feeling in my stomach that something terrible is going to happen to my family so I just do it anyways. Been doing this for the last ten years now but I’ve had enough. I don’t know if this is OCD or what, does anyone have any advice or experience this same thing? ** also to add, it seems like every couple of months I get stuck on numbers. So when re doing these tasks I have to do them as many times as the number I’m stuck on. For years it was always the number 4. I’d have to fold a towel 4 different times or touch a door knob 4 times when closing a door. Now it’s 5. Guys.. I need help before it gets to 10.. lol