Order & Symmetry OCD - Community

I'm a 35 year old female who was diagnosed with OCD at the age of 13. I have been suffering with this for half of my life now. I've never done Erp therapy or any exposure therapy before. I'm in the process of moving and getting into a new home so the last thing I want to do is try something that's going to put me out of my comfort zone at this time. My anxiety is so far gone at this point I start to shake when I get around people. I wash my hands constantly and I never feel that they are clean. If I get interrupted while washing my hands I start all over again. I also take up the 45-minute showers. Are there any podcasts or therapists or anything that anyone can recommend to help me through a very hard time right now? TIA

One of my OCD symptoms includes fixating on numbers and patterns. Did anyone else experience extreme attachment and/or connection to today's date 2/22/22 on Tuesday? I'm glad I feel positive about it in a way that's not too obsessive

someone PLEASE help. questions related to pocd and real event ocd. weird combo i know but i really just need people to talk to.

This fucking sticker on my laptop is bothering me so bad. I want to rip it off but it will be so loud and I don't people to stare at me. I'm like having a mini meltdown over it

Everytime I watch videos online, I always check if the video has even likes and comments. My mind will become irritated if it is not an even number so I multiply it into 2 in my mind. And if I see another comment that has odd likes, I would get mad at myself or sometimes lose energy to keep it going.

I always feel like everything has to be perfect, if it isn’t I CANT relax and I’m uncomfortable In that space

Hi everyone, I need to know that is there difference between perfectionism OCD and order/symmetry OCD.

PLEASEEE someone give me tips. i feel like my brain is just so overflowed and i am so over aware of everything and all of my actions are like calculated because of my ocd. i just want to not feel so inside of my brain and like it’s overflowing.

What does ERP look like for BFRBs like skin picking and excessive grooming, often in front of a mirror? Don't lean into into mirrors and sustain a distance?

I’m starting clomipromin for my ocd that’s all the doctor prescribed be I have debilitating ocd I have anxiety that causes me to have anxiety attacks and panick attacks I’ve had to stop wearing bras cause I feel like I can’t breath they make me panick that I can’t inhale I’ve had episodes of gerd that I had no idea that’s wat it was when it was happening I thought I was haveing a heart attack and had to call ambulance several times and was in the hospital they did ekg cause of the symptoms I was haveing turns out it was gerd I also had vertigo which is also another thing you can get from anxiety and stress I get rashes on my arms and other parts of my body and get really itchy when I have anxiety I wake up wit panick attacks gasping for air i panick bout leaveing the house and doing anything I anticipate days I no I have to go somewere and takes me a lot of days to recooperate when I do leave the house I have depression we’re I don’t get out of bed I just sit on my phone I barely eat and drink I have to make myself get up to use the bathroom to sometimes I don’t eat till my ears are ringing cause I’m so hungry and dizzy I’m constantly up all nite for 2 to 4 hours we’re I’m just awake mind raceing bout everything like millions of things over and over I’ll have 1 thought then another than go back to the previous thought then get a new thought it’s like listening to a million different t movies at once just so loud it seems to much at once nothing I do brings me back out of that raceing mind stuff I can drown it out wit watching stuff on my phone and getting into movies and tv shows over the years all these issues have slowly gotten worse and now this is we’re I’m at it’s the most horrible feeling I no this is not me I no things could’ve been done to actually help me over the years doctors seem so uninterested in your issues and then scared to prescribe medications that work that are made for these reasons but cause they have such a horrible name on them there scared to prescribe it I think someone else telling someone there anxiety there other mental illnesses aren’t affecting them enough to need certain medications is rediculous and the only time I was prescribed anxiety meds haveing noticeable signs of it were when I went to the mental hospital and they actually seen that I was suffering they seen that I wasn’t functioning when a doctor only sees you for a little bit I feel like I need more medications but asking for anxiety meds makes me look like that’s all I’m wanting And also ocd is an anxiety disorder if you didn’t have anxiety you wouldn’t have ocd takeing anxiety medications to Maintain anxiety and lessen ocd things is wat I need just like I no I need an antidepressant for my ocd and depression I no wit everything in me I need help and wat I need I need therapy to I need to do exposure and response therapy I no I need inpatient care to I can ask for all those things but as soon as anxiety meds get brought into it your made to look like a drug addict I just wish things were easier.

I did what I would consider an extremely difficult ERP through therapy. It sucked but after a couple days I am starting to feel the positive relief from confronting this issue. Give it a try, you have nothing to lose. OCD will tell you otherwise, don’t listen.

I no there’s online support groups but I need more help than that I admitted myself into a mental hospital a few years ago I had been on medication for 4 years and changed them every year cause nothing seemed to work so I admitted myself getting admitted was so hard cause of my ocd touching my stuff and only allowing certain amounts of clothes and couldn’t bring certain hygiene stuff I have dressing rituals that I use more clothes than a normal person I wear my bras and undershirts in order I get all the stuff I need for the ritual and lay it out on my bed then wash my hands prior and threwout dressing till I’m done wit the ritual I do certain things during it like turn circles and spin my clothes a certain way that’s hard to do wit a roommate and haveing to use the bathroom to layout my clothes like I need to and haveing nowere to keep my hygiene stuff I have to keep my stuff separated and In a clean spot if it has a clean spot I don’t have to clean the items everyday but that 1 ocd thing causes so many issues wit just being admitted and I was left for those 3 days no therapy no help just left traumatized and struggling wit this ritual they discharged me in 3 days and told me they didn’t have the resources to help me and gave me a referral to an ocd facility in Chicago which denied me cause of insurance my insurance can only be used in my state but there’s not any ocd facilities in my state so it’s very frustrating so I no I need a residential care but can’t get it cause of insurance so wat am I suppose to do I’m already doing wat I can but I no I need help I want to start medication but don’t want someone who doesn’t really understand ocd to prescribe me something there’s no ocd specialists that accept my insurance and everywere is so far away I can barely get up during the day and go to the store to get grocery’s there’s no way I can drive hours every month just to get medication and see a therapist every week if I could do over the phone stuff till I could get more stable so I can get out more and do more then I could get more help I just feel so misunderstood and invalidated bout my ocd and wat comes wit it I just want help though I also have a hard time wakeing up on time to call and I have a hard time calling and answering the phone I just don’t think it should be this hard to get help.

I have a hard times doing some things and always have even when I was better wit my ocd I do fear change and different things cause I just get so used to doing things and get into a routine of things it’s hard to stop that I always feel like I have to do things as they should be like everything has it’s place everything has it’s own use I keep things in there spot and do things as I’m suppose to like everything that goes in a bedroom stays there everything for the bathroom stays there and all the other rooms like I wouldn’t have my plates and kitchen ware in the bathroom cause that’s just not normal so these kind of things are hard for me to do even if I needed to cause it’s just not normal cause society wise everything has it’s place everything’s intended for it’s use I just have a hard time doing things that aren’t like society normals and like I wouldn’t use my hair brush and hair dryer on my pet I would get them there own but someone else mite do that it’s hard to explain but I just have a hard time doing anything differently and new things are hard to be able to use really anything I didn’t use when I first got ocd is hard to use cause I was just so used to doing and useing the things I had and got so focused on life that I didn’t realize I was doing the same thing everyday and haveing the same things everyday till it became ocd.

Guys I find myself reordering things when I'm anxious. It then becomes relentless. I find it really hard to stop. I think I do it to soothe my anxiety. I feel like I'm going crazy and I feel like I am riddled with disease because of the way I am. Anyone else suffering like this?

Does any one here use the medications before ERP ?

I really figure out that Every subtype has it's Own unlogic features The feelings like " why does this man do this " Frankly ! You will never find out and feel the Exact definite Feelings of everyone suffer from OCD

I see alot of ppl doing there makeup on tiktok and it’s hard watching them do it so normally cause I have to straighten my hair and clean my face to put on makeup and to straighten my hair I have to wash it then I have to put these 3 products in my hair brush it and blow dry it then put it up in a bun then get my straightener out and straighten it and to clean my face I can’t just get my face pads out I can only use my face pads when I’m doing my dressing ritual so I change my clothes put on deodorant clean my ears wash my hands then put my hair up then clean my face wit my face pads then I could get my makeup out and put it on but to just sit down and do my makeup has never been something I’ve been able to do I got ocd when I was young and I’ve always been a tomboy so makeup wasn’t a big deal to me but as I got older I started doing my hair and makeup which was hard for me just to do wat I was doing so I stuck wit it and that became a rule like only straightening my hair no curls no ponytails either 1 style of bun and straightened and my makeup only concelor and foundation plus adding other makeup and makeup tools would be just more to keep clean and more rituals so now it’s been 15 years of doing these things I’ve just never been able to do stuff whichever way and my ocd would make these rules and to straighten my hair I could only wash it then straighten it then the next day I could restraighten it then the next day I’d have to wash it to straighten it again I couldn’t just straighten it again even if I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to wash my hair and do those rituals I’d just have to wear my hair up so I always have to prepare for showers if I wanted to do something I have to have enough time to shower cause even if my rituals don’t take me that long I still can’t just be in a hurry 1 day and like let my hair air dry and then straighten it the next day it’s gotta be blow dried it has to be brushed it has to have products in it cause that’s just the way I’ve always done it since I first got ocd and it’s just so much and makes things so much harder to do when makeup mite not take along time but it does when you gotta clean your face and to clean your face you gotta do your dressing ritual it’s just so aggravating.

I think bout ppl who have chosen to take there life cause of the pain they were feeling from watever they were going threw and it’s sad that they hurt so horribly that the only way to get peace was to not be alive anymore they could’ve gotten help and gotten better but it’s so hard to get help even this app doesn’t accept my insurance and I’m already on ssi cause of my ocd I make 533 a month it costs 100 something dollars a visit wit these online therapists I can’t afford that so wat reason is it that I can’t get better I need help I need someone to help me and I’m being denied cause I’m so sick I had to get on ssi and can’t afford help that I get Medicaid and noone accepts it and these online things don’t accept it I can barely get out of bed let alone go to doctors appointments and then go to therapy appointments once a week I can’t even wash my own hair cause the repetiveness is just to exhausting wat does it take to be equal to others that can afford it I no if I could get help virtually and just get to the point of being able to leave to go to appointments I could do that but it’s money and insurance that’s stopping me from getting better I’m already suffering enough I don’t want to jump threw hoops to go to these appointments when everything can be done tele health and all in 1 appointment in 1 day if this is the way it’s going to be then wats stopping me from leaveing and not being here anymore I just want this 1 thing this 1 thing could change my life and make me better I need medication I need a doctor and a therapist I need a mental hospital to stay in to get this help and I can’t get it cause of money and insurance so I basically can’t get better then this fucking app and all these doctors out there and hospitals out there that have denied me fuck y’all do better someone needs to do something wat will it take to get help.

I feel ungreatful alot cause of my ocd everything feels like it’s not good enough cause of my ocd if I was normal things wouldn’t bother me as much I need to wash my hands a certain way prior to do dressing showering and grooming hygiene stuff if the sink faucet is to close the the back of the sink I can’t wash my hands cause my hands will probably touch the sink and if I complain I’m ungreatful to even have a home if the layout of my place is hard to get from the bathroom to the bed so I can do my dressing ritual I feel ungreatful atleast I have a home I try not complaining but it’s not me it’s my ocd and then I feel like some of the places I’ve had to live noone should be able to live there cause it’s so dirty and has bugs but atleast I was able to change my clothes like I need to i feel like if ppl actually understood me it make it easier but even though I’ve told ppl they still can’t comprehend it so I still feel unheard and misunderstood I want to get better I’ve been better in the past but I no wit the rite help I can be better than that but now nowere accepts my Medicaid and it’s crazy to think just cause I’m not rich enough I can’t get help even this app I can’t get help from they don’t accept Medicaid and it’s 100 something dollars a visit I get ssi and make 533 a month I can’t afford to spend any of that so wat am I suppose to do keep suffering that just doesn’t seem fair and admitteing myself into a regular psychiatric hospital won’t help my ocd rituals and items I need for hygiene stuff I just can’t do in there and they don’t understand my ocd they don’t understand the reason I panick and cry cause they gotta go threw all of my clothes the clothes I so carefully keep packed to stay clean I so carefully get clothes out of when I pick clothes out all that carefulness waisted for some nurse to touch everything and cut all the strings off of wit scissors from werever they just give me anxiety meds and keep me in a room to deal wit it on my own I’m so tired I just want to get better when will money not be an issue when will insurance not be an issue wat has to happen for ppl to get help so death doesn’t seem like the only option to stop the suffering.

I can’t believe I’m a 29 year old woman wit ocd it’s insane to think that majority of ppl are normal and I no there’s other mental illness and other problems but my ocd rituals are rediculous and that’s it there rediculous wat is the reason for this illness that is so crazy that makes a grown woman incapable of takeing care of herself I can’t believe my life sometimes that here I am a smart healthy woman doing wierd stuff just to put clothes on I can’t believe my childhood was taken by this illness even when I was better it was still so hard to just be a kid and go stay the nite at a friends house I’d have to give these things second thoughts like can I go to there house wat bout my dressing ritual can I do it there witout others noing will I even be able to do it in the bathroom really quick and will the other girls do things that I can’t and I have to pretend I’m just not interested just cause my ocd makes me feel like certain things are bad even if I do attend these things will I even be present enough to actually just relax and be normal and enjoy the weekend no school hanging out wit friends will I just be thinking bout all the ocd things I can’t do and go home to do all of them to make up for not being able to do them and that’s the way it usually went my friends being excited for weekends and hanging out packing and unpacking so easily comeing home from a friends house and not a care in the world while I dread comeing home to put my stuff back in it’s place carefully and have to hurry and start the rituals to get ready for bed and for school the next day all while pretending I’m normal it sucks to just pretend I’m always pretending I pretend that I’m just as excited for the weekend and for events when really I’m calculating wat I need to do to preper for the next few days go ahead and do these rituals so you don’t have to do them outside my home wat would happen if I didn’t bring a certain item I mite need to perform a dressing and showering ritual will I not have my hairbrush and be offered by a friend there hair brush and not be able to use it cause of my ocd I always use a regular hair brush wat if there’s is a round barrel brush my ocd thinks there wierd and bad so I’d have to turn it down and make up a reason for not showering would the other girls play makeup and me sit there haveing to pretend I’m just a Tomboy when really my ocd tells me some make up is bad useing brushes to apply makeup is bad all of these rules running threw my head and still sitting there pretending I’m normal always lieing always pretending now I’m an adult wit no childhood and I still see woman excited for the weekend excited to hang out and I’m at home barely able to wash my own hair and shame my own body I don’t feel like a woman I don’t even feel like a person I’m just here existing trying to get threw everyday wit minimal ocd rituals and trying to do the bare minimum just so I don’t have to deal wit the repetiveness of it even if it doesn’t take long to do these things these ways it’s the point of not haveing freedom in my own body to do wat I want to do wat I’m suppose to do as a human being I can’t just do something I gotta prepare and take the time to do things and they have to be done at once no interruptions I can’t stop and eat a bite of food in the kitchen I can’t stop and answer the door I can’t make a tiktok bout the way I do my makeup cause I can’t even touch my phone while doing these things everything’s dirty and everything’s gotta be rinsed off and set in there clean area and packed away seperatly this isn’t a life even though I have a decent life I can’t live it cause I’m not even a person I’m just here.

There anyone on here that does rituals like wit daily things like doing stuff the same way everyday and doing them a certain way each time and counting and have counting rituals turning into like a grid in your mind of the way you count I have alot of other ocd but wats always been kind of the more worker and time consuming stuff is the rituals cause like if I’m showering I can’t just stop in the middle of the shower and like throw clothes on to answer the door that goes for any ritual I can’t just stop in the middle of straightening my hair throw it up and go to the store really quick and come back and finish my hair it’s apart of my ocd to complete it and also prior to doing any dressing showering grooming hygiene ritual I was my hands a certain way to get them clean to start the ritual cause my clothes are clean my stuff like deodorant and and products and stuff like my hair dryer and hair brush are kept separately and in a clean space so there always clean they stay in there clean area so there ready to be used whenever I need them instead of cleaning them off and setting them in a clean area so I can use them so everything’s deemed clean in my mind so I always wash my hands prior to doing anything to keep everything clean and products and tools and other things clean so then my hands are clean I do watever ritual to get ready for the day and it’s all gotta be done rite then if I’m doing my makeup today it only gets done then no reapplying of anything no hair products no deodorant watever I’m doing that day I do at once then that’s it I just have never met anyone like me I don’t see alot of ppl shareing bout rituals like this I’m trying to get help but noone accepts my insurance so just wanted to feel less alone.

Hello! I am Bella, a 12 year old. My friends kept on suspecting that i have OCD because of the way I act.

It’s been a rough day I swear ever since this huge trigger in my new home in the middle of moveing happened I’ve just been so depressed cause I feel like I can’t even move in my own home I can’t finish moveing my stuff here everything’s is contaminated to me the contamination transfers to everything there’s no end to the possibility of contamination that goes three my mind everyday all day now I’ve been dealing wit this for along time so things that bother me I don’t by like cleaning products I’ll by them but they stay under the sink we’re they belong I wouldn’t set them next to my shower stuff in the shower and like my bf cologne I wouldn’t spray it everywere in the house cause the spray is a contaminate to me so if I did spray it I would feel like it’s on watever was sprayed and certain air fresheners and fabric refreshers I don’t by if I do and if my bf bys them I only spray them on like the tops of curtains extremely close so the over spray doesn’t fall to the floor and spray on other objects and things round the house I keep things up seperatly and no wat I feel comfortable doing in my home I have control over that to avoid triggers but my bf doesn’t understand it it’s hard to explain to him that I don’t like spraying certain stuff on things ocd contamination things are endless so I do have to live wit wat my bf does but still I can control majority of stuff so I don’t get triggered it’s the only thing I can do cause working on this is to much to do on my own and I’m currently looking for help but I’ve not been able to get help so I do wat I need to to keep things to a minimum but since this huge exposure to majority of my new home I’m miserable I’m tired I cry and panick everyday multiple times a day I just can’t deal wit this it’s so frustrating.

I get ssi for my ocd cause it is a chronic illness I’ve had times were my ocd was manageable but I don’t think haveing a full time job would be something I could’ve done even at my best cause I never finished a year of school since I’ve had ocd I’ve always had to leave at points cause it was just to much for me I even moved to the alternative school which was way smaller and it was easier on me but I still had problems but I get ssi and get Medicaid which is suppose to help me pay for the help I need wit my disability my Medicaid can only be used in my state and there’s no ocd facility’s in Tennessee there’s nowere in Tennessee that accepts Medicaid and if anyone comments places like rogers behavioral health they don’t accept Medicaid and there only outpatient and everytime I call anyone to find a place they tell me to call my insurance I’ve already called my insurance they’ve told me there’s no places in Tennessee there’s definitely no places in my area itd be a 2 hours drive to the closest mental hospital if I did that I also tried going back to the place I went to when I was younger they just discharged me in 3 days telling me they didn’t have the resources to help me and a referral to an ocd place in Chicago but when I got home excited to go to Chicago they denied me cause of insurance cause again my insurance can only be used in Tennessee this is insane I’m being paid 533 dollars a month to have ocd it’s not even enough to live on my own I can’t get an apartment wit this money but yet the state can deem me disabled but can’t help me get better so I can atleast work part time and afford to live I can’t even take care of myself Roy snow it’s so rediculous I’m so miserable there’s places and ppl out there that can help me but money is such and issue and it’s not just expensive to get help it’s extremely expensive 40000 dollars for 1 month in a California ocd place who has that money.

Has anyone experienced missing out on a big event in your life because of your OCD.. My partner and I of 7 years just found the home of our dreams and got the offer for it but my OCD is getting in my way. I'm so use to living alone and have everything not touched and set up my way that sharing a space with someone else seems like to much for me to handle. 🥺 How have you dealt with this ??

I hate having ocd

Constantly feeling like I need to redo some thing that I did something wrong in the past.

If I start thinking about a number of times I do something, usually I have to make it even or an interval of 5 to feel sane. Like kissing my boyfriend. I was doing something, thought about the numbers, and I lost track and I said to myself. “It’s ok I don’t need to know.” I don’t like losing count because it could have ended on a number I don’t like but I gotta let it go. They’re just numbers. It only feels my symmetry and perfectionism ocd. Asymmetry can be ok too right? Pretty even in nature. Ugh I hate feeling lopsided. Anywho I at least conquered one thing today.

hi! first time joining this community. I haven’t been diagnosed yet but my psychiatrist has brought up the potential that i may be living with OCD twice. i am currently being treated for generalized anxiety disorder and depression but the more i learn about OCD the more i think it’s very close to what i have been experiencing. i don’t know why to really say here but, hello. I am currently on duloxetine (for depression and anxiety) and Adderrall (for add). although the days where i wake up and pace the house because “something really bad is going to happen and i don’t know what to do” at less intense, i still have those feelings daily. i almost have to dissociate by watching TV or starting a tedious activity to focus my thoughts. I am exhausted so so exhausted. thanks for being a sounding board. :)

I have so many checking rituals it makes it hard to leave the house sometimes. How do I not let them affect my decision making?

How to not be affected by the inevitable ‘well u clearly don’t love him then’ when you tell people about rOCD or the ‘well just stop’ about physical compulsions?

currently in bed at almost 4 am, i feel like my bedroom door is begging me to touch the handles. i have a compulsion where i can’t leave fingerprints on things (not for crime reasons lol, just because it feels WRONG), and i also have to fiddle with things until it “feels right”. when i try to ignore it, i obviously can’t, and i start shaking. my mind then threatens itself (if i don’t do _____ then my relationship will fail or someone i love will get hurt)

So last year I've been trying to discover who I really am.. have I got ocd, autism, adhd etc... so wondered if anyone could help.. I'm 31 and as a kid I remember things like checking taps. Checking the door handles, also stuff like riding home on my bike and worrying that I'd cut someone up, and they ended up crashing... but as an adult I don't do the checking part so much but the fear of hurting someone whilst at work. Example.. a pallet falling from the steel that I put up with the forklift. Not checking the best by dates of food coming in, it's like I get a fear that someone is gonna get hurt from my actions. I also have to be obsessed with things. It's all or nothin. Social anxiety seems to be worst than ever to. I cudnt go go karting with friends but happily go with my gf.. thanks for reading this ❤️

This video is the one I watched wear this girl also does similar stuff as me like she couldn’t shower in 1 shower but along time ago I couldn’t seperate showers I had to wash my hair and body and shave in 1 shower and she can’t use multiple makeup pallets and lipsticks I do the same wit chapsticks and can’t wear multiple sunglasses I can only wear the new seat ones I’ve worn it’s ocd I dive been diagnosed wit ocd anxiety and depression I’ve been to hospitals doctors and therapists I’ve been on medications but noone ever treated my ocd I’m hopeing to get help soon I just have to find somewere that accepts my insurance but I want everyone to no someone told me these symptoms weren’t ocd but the only reason I share my stuff is cause this girl shared hers I thought my ocd was wierd but this girls does the same things as me it’s ocd https://youtu.be/Q2tF8B0hCt4!!

super overwhelmed and i'm not sure why. why do i get random outbursts?

When reading or studying something i am concentrating on how my brain works and how it is able to understand what i am reading or studying, automatically i am getting distracted from the reading or studying itself, it's a Somatic OCD... it's painful... Anyone to help?

I spend 2 hrs trying to put away my gaming console. I absolutely hate OCD. All I want to do is Clean my room the way I want but I can't.

I have like this grid I have to follow when I do my hand washing ritual I use to just count and do the ritual but to keep up wit which number part of the ritual I’m doing I made like a grid so it looks like —— - - —— - - - - - - This first line is a little bit longer hand wash wit 4 smaller hand washes I do that twice there’s more to this grid but it helps me keep up wit wat I’ve already done.

I’ve coped with OCD for a bit now, whether being aware that i’ve had it or not, but somehow one of the only things that I could put it past me while doing, is art. There’s just something about coloring in the lines, or going wild and free with colors on a surface, it’s so relaxing. Is there anything that helps you with your OCD?

Feeling really alone and hopeless with my ocd atm🥺 just feel like I’m struggling and i just seem to be struggling more and more and getting deeper and deeper into my ocd without getting any better:(( Making me feel really bad and I cannot see any way out of it and I don’t have anyone in my life who properly understands ocd other then my psychologist and I obviously only see her once a week so I really don’t have anyone else or know anyone else who has recovered which seems scary as I really feel I’m going to be stuck with this all my life and I don’t see the point of staying here in this world if it’s going to keep being filled with so much pain. Help :(

Does anybody else break up words or sentences into syllables? I’ve always wondered if I was alone with that.

Sometimes it feels confusing to try and describe other things besides physical issues I’m feeling with ocd. Like something there feels like there is a grid in my head and I need to go over certain lines in that graph with my eyesight over and over again till like I’ve done it “correct” I spend a lot of time in my day doing this over and over in my head and I feel trapped almost. I feel like I’m rambling but does this happen to anyone else cause I feel so out of place when talking abt this along with my other ocd stuff

I would like to know if OCD is related to rage and IED and why it is that my rage comes out virtually only with my girlfriend and in an extremely strong manner?

i always thought that i did things the way i do because i’m “ specific “ i never really thought of myself having ocd per say but the more i see & hear about it i’m worried i could . which is obviously something dumb to worry about but i worry about everything so might as well add one more thing to the list right ?

I’m at the point where I want my amygdala surgically removed. I can’t sleep no matter what I try, my brain refuses to calm down and idk what else to do.

Ok, i dont know if this is ocd, but i think it might so im putting it here. ever since i was a child ive had the extreme need to do things in order with games. take the game that made me realize, neko atsume. i have been buying every item in order. all 214 items and my brother doesnt get why dndjjdkdndkend and i cant stop til i finish too,,, 23 left rn, but oh my go d this cant be nothing

I just want my brain to calm down. It literally thinks that I should be on fight or flight nonstop, causing me to feel lightheaded and jittery, and I’m sick of it. Happens when I’m not even actively thinking about something.

Tired of my Obsessive brain, i can't read a simple thing because i am constantly obsessing if i understand it, when someone talks to me i am obsessing if i understood what he told me, the pain is unbearable

I am new here and I came to this app because I have a few types of OCD. I have checking ordering symmetry and counting OCD and I was wondering if there's anybody out there with the types of OCD that I have. I feel like I'm alone and have no one to talk to and I saw the other types of OCD on here and I don't have anything in common with the other types of OCD and people. So I was curious if there's anybody out there who is dealing with the types of OCD that I am dealing with. I find it difficult at times because I am married and I try to hide a lot of my OCD but it is getting more difficult and every time I try to talk about it with my new wife I feel really stupid and dumb. I'm not sure how to talk to her about it and start that conversation with her.

Do any of u find it hard to clean because of your OCD?

I am so scared .... my Adderall pill is starting to wear off and i am scared that i won't be perfect.... it's a compulsion, when i am taking this pill it's like i am feeding my obsession that maybe i am not perfect without it and i want to be perfect, i won't do anything if i am not under the Adderall effect

Hi All!!!!! I want to be the perfect human being, and my main obsession is HOW SMART AND SHARP AM I, i won't do anything before I'll take an Adderall pill because then i am more secured that ill be able to understand deep enough my studying and i can talk to to people smart, this Adderall became a terrible compulsion, anyone to help? I am in pain, can't succeed in life

I want to cry because I found somewhere I don’t feel as alone as I usually do

Question for those who have moved homes, particularly those who moved into new homes by themselves - how long did it take you to adapt and accept your new change? Also how long did it take you to sleep normally and manage any anxiety you may have had?

I am constantly monitoring how i am thinking, how deep and sharp i am, constantly trying to see if i understood something, constantly monitoring if i am smart enough.... Very painful. Somatic OCD

12921 .. hey look palindrome date

I hate Ocd i just want it to get cured and not have to suffer it anymore

I have a hard time straightening up and going through paperwork. I feel like I have to read & reread things even ads & mailers before I throw them away/recycle them. And I get so tired of worrying about getting it done that it piles up. I want to have a cleaner house but I feel sometimes like I’m living inside my own head.

i made it to 18! i never thought i could do this. thank you nocd app for all you’ve done! ❤️

New here. Recently diagnosed with a whole heap of random disorders including hypochondria, ADHD, and OCD. I have the violent intrusive thoughts. They make me feel like I am losing my mind. I constantly have to count things. Or I find myself mixing up words and letters in my mind to fit a specific even number of syllables in a sentence. I swear, if I wrote it all down, it might be considered an alien language. Patterns. I see patterns in everything, even when there are none. And recently, I cannot walk on lines or cracks on the pavement. I have others, but the ADHD stops me from remembering them when I need to.

Does anyone have a pattern OCD and starting to get scared

Hello everyone, I just started I hope it helps me get over my ocd or at the least manage it.

ok i dont know if i actually have ocd,, but im trying this i often have thoughts running through my head repeatedly until i somehow get them out, either through saying them or typing or writing yesterday "i wish i had my elf ears so id feel like people are staring at me for a reason" ive also had "ki pi" on repeat, and more i spent forever thinking this over and over i also have a tendency to start organizing something and not being able to stop until i have done it ive been organizing art supplies in my art class until i am forced to leave, or until i finish, and ive stayed up til 3 am obsessed with finishing a puzzle,, and promptly had a panic attack after finishing i should also probably note im autistic and diagnosed with depression and anxiety any thoughts welcome

Decided to reorganize my entire kitchen late last night. The problem is, if I’m going to reorganize one cabinet, I have to do them all to make sure everything is consistent. It all started when I wanted to rearrange the tea bags, but now my kitchen is pure chaos. Help 🥴😅

Eek, next time I'm at Dungeons and Dragons I'm gonna try and bite the bullet and mess up my dice. I could not even have my different sets touching each other last time. Wish me luck!

I can’t help but laugh that I broke down crying today because I got a key made today and it was a different color than the one I already had so now they don’t match. Where does my brain even get these things?!?

i feel alone in this. i get what i like to call 'good vs bad ocd'. like with my pills, i will feel that one of the pills is good and the other one is bad. but then my mind is like, what if the good pill is actually the bad one, and it just goes on and on. i'm tired of playing a mind game with it. it's not i think it's poisonous but that it's just bad. it's not just with my pills it's many other objects too, like my pillows. :/

I can only go places and start tasks on the quarter hour. I just sit there, staring at my computer, until the right time. Now I can’t exercise, which is my favorite thing to do, because of this compulsion. I even had to wait 4 minutes sending this post until it was exactly 12pm! I hate this, how can I stop?

who else gets bad ocd at night? that is where my perfectionism ocd began.

Today a very strange thought passed in my mind that made me understand better the way this illness works, and really how value based are obsessions. Yesterday I changed my winter blanket with a new and clean one, then this afternoon I just sat ony balcony to smoke. After, I sat on my bed - and so on the clean blanket - with the same pants i wore when i was sitting on the balcony floor. The next thought when i realized it as: "Fuck, You just changed the blanket, you are such a disappointment, now we have to do it all the way from the start." Implying how now the blanket were contaminated, so according to my brain "I am not able to keep one thing clean", and from that moment to the next blanket change I would consider myself a bad person and have really bad anxiety thinking about the bacteria on the blanket. This really made me chuckle because I clearly saw in front of me my fear of not being tidy and organized as i want to be mixing with my bad self talk when I do something I consider wrong. Now that I see clearly the nature of the thought, I am ready to not care about the blanket and go on with my day. :)

does anyone else with symmetrical type ocd get that annoying feeling when something's not in the middle like i legit will put my phone behind my laptop because it feels HORRIBLE whenever its on one of the sides??

This sounds silly when I say it out loud, but does anyone else have to kiss or tap someone a certain amount of times. When I get rid of one compulsion other counting things comes up. Does anybody have any tips, I’d be so grateful

I get fixated on ideas.

Just Right OCD:“Grab this, with this hand, on this side, but don’t move anything.” Me: “Ah, forbidden Tetris.”

Can’t go up the staircases at school. They aren’t all in the same direction. Anyone have any ideas on how to get to classes when I can’t go up or down the stairs?

I feel like my OCD and overall well being gets worse in the fall and winter for some reason.

i don’t know how to just STOP. my mind is itching with every little thing i have to do before i can get started on something that actually needs to get done and i’m aware of this but i just can’t DO it until all these little things are in order first, physically and mentally. in my brain, every thought and every task i need to do needs to be arranged and verified, making sure i don’t miss anything. outside my papers need to be in order, i need to know where everything is at all times and i constantly check and recheck to account for this doubt and worry. it’s really mentally draining and i’m really tired and i feel myself falling further and further behind in my work and i want so badly to just disregard all these annoying details and do what needs to be done but i cannot let myself :(

On a light-hearted note, whats the funniest thing you can think of about your ocd?

Would this be considered OCD? When I get up in the morning, I consider myself downstairs. As the day goes on, noon and afternoon become the landing of the staircase, and evening and night become the upstairs. I also do the same thing only different with age and using a ladder. From baby to five is one level, age six to ten, another level, eleven to fifteen, another level, sixteen to twenty, another level. after twenty, it goes in ten rungs of the ladder, like twenty one to thirty, and so on. Also with the age the ladder starts out going upwards, then to the right, then up, then to the right. I've never thought much about it until now. Just a question. Doesn't feel like it would be to me, but then a lot of things are that I wouldn't think of as being.

I need to vent and hopefully it helps. My boyfriend has been trying to overfeed me the last three days because I’ve been going back to the gym. I notice it and I’ve been strong and saying no.He knows I have A compulsive eating disorder and when I get around large amounts of food I can’t stop. I simply asked him if he could just put away the food he doesn’t eat. He went in to an Instant rag when I asked , throwing his hands up and slamming doors. He tells me that it’s something I’m just gonna have to get over.I’ve gained 30 pounds and I’m borderline diabetic and I’m just trying to get my health back. I don’t know how to communicate with him but it’s a serious matter.

I find it crazy how I’m still waiting to see a psychiatrist, I’ve been waiting for months. Should I just go to the hospital or something?

Hi, y'all! I'd like to start taking ideas for what you'd like to see turned into fine art. I'm an acrylic and oil painter. What are some things about your OCD that you'd like to see come to life in a piece of art? Creativity has been key for my healing process and my recovery and relapse planning in ERP! If you're interested in participating in my art-inspiration, leave a comment below letting me know what you'd like to see! <3 Sending much love and compassion to all my friends out there in the community.

Does anyone else suspect perfectionism/just-right OCD to interact with skin picking and other BFRBs?

Does anyone else get into a routine and then the steps of that routine become almost ritualistic? Is that OCD? I don't necessarily have thoughts, but more like actions that I guess trigger me into anxiety or some stress

Good morning, all! I just wanted to pop in and give y'all a reminder to practice some self-compassion today, even if it's something simple that brings you joy! It doesn't have to be meditation, as that's a challenge for me sometimes, too (especially when my intrusive thoughts ramp up)! My wish is that you're well <3 I've included a picture of HOW DO YOU LOVE #2, the second painting in my series based on my OCD, self-compassion, and recovery! I hope it can brighten even the dark spots in your mind :')

In the included photo, my painting HOW DO YOU LOVE #1 features varying tones of blue culminating to depict a patchwork-esque impasto style of painting. Each brushstroke defines the sky and surrounds the celestial bodies featured (the Sun, the Moon, and the Earth). Centered, above the Sun and between the Earth and the Moon, is a phrase comprised of orange and white lettering: HOW DO YOU LOVE? This is the question of my first collection of original art. How do you love? How do you show yourself compassion? As an OCD sufferer, who was only diagnosed this year after 25 years of suffering untreated, I find it important to embrace art not only as my career and a joy of my life, but as a means of healing and eliciting the compassion I would afford to my loved ones. OCD bullies my brain from the moment I wake until the moment my exhausted brain unplugs itself. There's no better way for me to showcase life with OCD, and self-compassion, than with art. This is only HDYL#1!

For those of you who struggled in school, what are some some modifications that helped you finish? I have not finished and would really like to.

A song I think really relates to ocd that is chill is everything is alright by motion city THAT ONE IS SPOT ON TRUST ME PLEASE CHECK THAT ONE OUT they literally talk about checking repetitively and counting as well as cleaning Another one I relate to ocd is making plans for Nigel by xtc That one feels like when the voices r in control rather than u n when the compulsions make u feel like things r good If u guys like heavy metal you should listen to ocd by suicide silence And look up the lyrics cuz it’s relatable to the emotions you feel with ocd

I am new to this. So I just need prayers and help understanding ocd...

Idk if anyone else has this problem but my ocd makes me like type some words with 2 letters like example my username other examples r like when I type lmaoo or pleasee idk y it’s specific words it literally just does that ????

Hello peoplesss, I haven't been here for a couple months but I suppose I really need it. I'm currently in my senior year of high school, and I'm usually that straight A student blahblahblah, but this one thing has stumped me and to everyone it's so trivial but for me it's so big and it keeps coming back. Basically, calculus. I know the subject and I even self-studied for the AP Calc BC test in 11th grade, but now I can't even pass a test. I don't know how to describe my school's test system but basically if I don't perfect or nearly perfect my next exams, I'm doomed. All the awards I worked up to, my school's equivalent of valedictorian, my college admissions, probably gone. These exams aren't even hard; they're supposed to be like a medium level. I can literally take on harder exam questions (I know this because I've been doing it myself and helping my classmates that have reached that level already). Like, our teacher gave us a practice set, and only two of us got a hard level question correct, but between the two of us, I was the one that also did the medium level questions in that time frame. But when it comes to the medium level questions DURING the exam, I always make "dumb" mistakes that add up, like forgetting to write exponents or flipping fractions. And the fact that I keep making these same mistakes and am thus unable to progress really scares me. In one of my recent tests (one where I'm still at that medium level) I prepared so much for it, but the second I read the questions my mind loterally went BLANK for 2-5minutes. I managed to finish the test, but my answers were so shaky and in disarray that I'm not confident in them at all. I'll probably find out mt results in a few hours when I wake up. Once again, probably a trivial issue, but it's been eating away at me for weeks. I haven't been able to sleep, I can't really do the things I enjoy, heck, I haven't been able to write my big college essays. I feel so paralyzed in a way that I've never truly felt before. I've probably felt it in tiny waves, but I am so freaking stressed right now. It'll be over soon and people say that I'll laugh at it in a couple years, but I wish someone could just understand this man :( I feel like if I don't get this grade, everything A student-y about me would be gone :( I know people are going to say that that isn't true, but for the past 2ish online years, big awardees went from two of us in our batch to ten. My A- in 11th grade PE might also prevent me from getting that top honors thingy And gosh my parents are the antonym of unsupportive. My mom doesn't understand the whole grade panicking, which is fine, but she just stares at me everytime I cry. Then my dad literally keeps saying oh are you getting top honors you need it for this and for that blahblahblah. Then my mom's gf, who's usually supportive, just laughs whenever she sees my cry about it. I'm at my wits end here and my parents aren't doing anything to make life a single bit easier, as they usually do. Anyways, thanks for listening to my Ted rant. TLDR: A student is making dumb mistakes on calc and panicking about whole life. Parents suck.

I'm not sure how much of the ERP we can talk about on here but I do have a few questions about it and since I'm going to begin the therapy next week I would like to know a bit about it, even though I know everyone is different. My anxiety plays alot into it

Does it trigger anyone else's ocd when they can't find something and then you start to think bad things will happen if you can't find the thing. I feel so stupid even saying this.

I need to clean my room, I’m such a pig, I feel so worthless whenever I come in here and I feel like I need to clean everything but then I mix up the orderly tidyness aspect of my ocd with the mess making me feel like I can’t move anything or it will be incorrect

Need advice. I am a school teacher going back to college to pursue interior design. It is almost halfway through the semester when my teacher (I have had issues with before regarding smaller things) decides to finally enforce covid mandating protocols and assigned seating. I have sat in the same seat since the beginning of class (and I have her for two classes both same seat) not to mention I have always sat in the same seat as I sat on in the first day my whole college career. She told me that the day she created the list it was the day I was absent and she gave my seat to someone else. I was the only one who had to move. This triggered my ocd resulting in an anxiety attack affecting the rest of my class period. I was not able to retain the lesson and reached out to her the next day explaining how I was feeling and if I should be prepared for my other class for a changed seat since I don’t want to have another anxiety attack. Her email back exclaimed that I should know what college means and the degree I’m signing up for and if I can’t accept it I am not ready for school. I am a teacher too! I have gone through schooling! I have OCD and I clearly told her this. What should I do?!

Don't know what happened, but I typed an entire message and was not done, but it disappeared. I was hoping I was still in this therapy for OCD because I just put it on my new laptop and it's on my phone but I would prefer to talk to my therapist on my laptop. I was talking about how I had depression, anxiety, maybe OCD 20 years ago, and was on one anti-depressant and one anti-anxiety until 3 years ago. Then BOOM, I ended up with severe depression, severe anxiety, and severe OCD. Don't get me wrong, I had OCD before but I could handle it. In 2004 I was in a car accident with my 3 young kids and my son and I broke our necks at C1 C2. We had them fused' and we were never paralyzed. Thank God. The reason I bring this up is because in 2017 I had gastric bypass surgery so I could get my knees replaced. Ended up having to have another neck fusion C4 C5 early 2018, then in the fall I had my right knee replaced. It was during PT on my knee that I got anxiety, depression, and OCD. All of them severe. Spent I don't know how many days in the psyche hospital. Do know I missed Christmas in 2019 and then when the virus hit things seemed to escalate on the OCD front as well as the anxiety. Just recently I tested positive for Covid-19. My son did too. My husband ended up in the hospital for 6 days. We are once again, Praise God, done with our quarantine. My daughters tested negative. My husband is home on oxygen. Getting better.

More Sunday thoughts 🤔🪚 I think OCD points to our values and talents, even though the thoughts and compulsions that come with it are ego-dystonic (works against our beliefs and self-image). Among other things, I value carefully tuned structures, attention to detail, thoughtful aesthetics- even my LinkedIn tagline is “I build elegant systems for ambitious projects”. When I fall into an OCD trap (4 hours of cable management! Rereading a thing I wrote 20 times!) the compulsions are a feedback loop that block me from exercising my actual values. But I try to take care to not throw out the metaphorical baby with the bathwater… things become disorders when they cause distress, when they get in the way of how you want to live. I’m not going to straighten pictures in coffee shops or friends’ houses, but I can appreciate and even take pride in my own well-balanced gallery wall. I can be proud of my presentation of a project, and also know when it’s reasonable to declare it finished. …and sometimes make freehand cuts that even my husband finds super impressive 😙👌

Has anyone out there managed to overcome contamination OCD? X

I have thoughts of if I don’t do something exactly 4 times then something bad will happen, is this ocd?