Hi does any one deal with both ocd and addiction? I deal with a sexual addiction which gets a really bad wrap and I have been really struggling with the depression of both recently. I am in groups and have a sponsor and have been doing well in recovery but just very upset recently. Please feel free to reach out.
My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year now. We have a difference where he doesn’t really like talking about gossip or people but I feel the need to vent a lot. I’ve told him a few times that I’d like it if I could vent to him without him offering some sort of advice or solution and sometimes he does this but other times he does not. I find it really annoying and then I get mad that he doesn’t just let me talk without trying to help. I used to be the same way as him and I know that it takes time to not be this way so I don’t know why I get so upset when he gives me advice. I feel like it means he thinks I shouldn’t be upset and that he doesn’t care about what I’m talking about. The problem here is that I let it ruin my mood for hours and I will think about it for hours. I’ll think that I’ll always be upset at him and I’ll never be able to tell him anything and that he never lets me talk about things. How can I get this under control? I know it’s fine to want to feel heard, the problem lies in the fact that after we discuss that I wanted to vent and he apologizes I’m stuck thinking about this relatively minor annoyance for hours and hours.
I’m having a flare up because I was on FaceTime with my bf this morning and my eyes were puffy. I said it looked like something was wrong like I had allergies or something and said that they look froggy. He laughed and said I hate to tell you they always look froggy. I got annoyed because who wants to hear they have frog eyes and then he said it’s cute because they have big eyes and it’s really just a joke. That was like hours ago and I’m still thinking about it. I really can’t tell if this is something I need to like tell him not to say anymore or not. As I’m writing this down I realize it’s not a huge deal and that he calls me beautiful all of the time and specifically compliments my eyes. So maybe it’s not as bad as I think. I wish I could unsend text messages 🤦🏻♀️
Guys how i can do erp for existential ocd
As we all know OCD likes to lie to us. As my therapist says, it tries to convince us that there is a way to live anxiety-free & we must search for the answer, the “right” way, the “perfect” way of doing something. Does anyone have any experience with their OCD trying to lie & convince them that what they’re suffering from isn’t actually OCD at all? Sometimes I feel like the work I do inside & outside of therapy is all for nothing & that it’s pointless because what I have is something that can’t be improved or healed. I’m curious to hear from others who have felt similarly & how you respond to these lies
I’m highly aware that I have OCD but have never received specialized treatment for it. I’m learning more but does anyone experience racing intrusive thoughts at night? I can’t sleep and don’t know what to do. I’m constantly on the verge of a panic attack when I should be getting relaxed and comfortable before falling asleep.
How can I sit with OCD?
With enough commitment could I stop having these strong feelings/urges as soon as possible?
I told my therapist that I don’t have this anymore when I really do. It’s because she keeps giving me the same advice over and over again. No progress Is being made. I don’t know how to change my focus to something else. This is insane. I can’t spend another year like this. I’m losing time and my life.
Walk with me for a moment, I’m going to describe a scenario and I want you to imagine it: Imagine that you just left your house and just started driving away. You immediately notice that something feels very off, something is wrong. You swear that you forgot to bring something extremely important with you, but you can’t remember what it was and you still can’t shake the feeling that whatever it is/was, it’s a big deal. Momentarily, you are very bothered and fearful. Now, turn the intensity/‘fatalistic’ urgency of that feeling up to overdrive. For this very brief moment that I just described, you are distracted from 1.) what you are doing, 2.) where you are going & 3.) who you are with. In this moment, you are not ‘present’ with reality. Your “fight or flight” internal response (which takes place in the lower part of your brain) is momentarily firing, which overrides your frontal lobe (the portion of your brain that involves critical thinking and decision making). I want you to focus and really try to imagine this feeling I just described. And then I want you to imagine this feeling NEVER leaving. This is a small snippet of what it’s like to live with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), which is a VERY societally misunderstood type of anxiety disorder. Your brain latches onto anything and everything that you care about/are focusing on, then starts giving you very unwanted ‘intrusive thoughts’ regarding who you are in relation to whatever the original thought entailed. The thoughts are normal, but an OCD brain obsesses over the ‘intrusive thoughts’ because an ‘OCD brain’ has trouble regulating/determining whether or not an intrusive thought is true or not (which is why we obsess) since the fight or flight part of the brain is simultaneously activated and on overdrive. Take this practical example of what OCD is like (from someone who has it) and spread the awareness of OCD.
Hey if anyone wants to do a zoom hang, share wins, tips etc https://us04web.zoom.us/j/76914191505?pwd=TB9T8T5pmICfZlqn8AxwPc0bkbmLwJ.1
I feel so in the dark about OCD. My therapist (not on nocd) told me I had it and we had talked about rumination like a year ago, but since then I feel like I have been too busy or too anxious (lol) to educate myself outside of therapy and it just all got so much worse and I was so unaware of what OCD even was. I feel like my thoughts have been so rapid that I have barely been able to listen to her when she responds becuase I am just so concerned with getting the thoughts out of my head because I don't want them to feel stuck there anymore. But I just found out there were subtypes like a week ago. So all of my relationship issues and religious issues and stuff I assumed were trauma related and I feel like I even have false memories of things that happened to me and I feel so forgetful and confused? And I feel like I can look back now and realize that OCD was responsible for all of these things, but I have acted out sometimes or made comments or been out of line when anxious, which has pushed everyone away and now that I realize I need specific OCD treatment, I feel alone in doing it and I feel like I can't focus on getting better because I am just focused on the guilt I feel for the way I've acted because some things really were my OCD's fault, not the fault of people in my life and I think I blamed people and made mistakes and I don't know how to recover from them.
I just need help understanding that not every difference or disagreement needs to end in a horrible relationship with constant arguments or dissatisfaction. My boyfriend is very words of affirmation and enjoys acknowledging that he spoils me. Growing up my household, was very anti-words of affirmation, seeing it as gloating. So I interpret his self appreciation as throwing it in my face that he buys me things or treat me well. These things don’t mix very well but we know this and work on it. Unfortunately my mind thinks that since we’re not perfect with this it’s going to just cause building resentment and cause huge fights and ultimately end our relationship. Obviously this doesn’t have to be the case but how can I internalize this? When I’m triggered I get so fixated and think this will be the end of us (amongst other themes and triggers) it’s just tiring thinking everything ends in failure, or that I’m the only person in a relationship that is trying to work though something like this and that everyone else just finds someone that is able to 100% meet every need all the time. Any advice or support?
Today I have a exam and It didn't went good I think I may get just pass marks but that's enough for me but iam undergoing a lot of obsessions and iam unable to control them ocd is telling me that u r not enjoying /living happily u r life us should listen to my obsession one last time and enjoy u r life by trusting my obsession and at atlast by following those obsessions I felt very stressful and tired and iam unable to perform daily activities as ocd is interrupting my every thought it make me feel that Iam waiting my life by thinking that I have ocd which I don't have it is making me to say that thing and as a result I stop taking medicines and after some says I feel tired and I collapse and I just sleep a lot by thinking that Iam tired. Ocd is a terrible and very dangerous thing that can ruin u r entire life
Hi all, my name is Karley. I have ED, aka Dermatillomania, which falls under the DSM5 OCD category. I obsess over my skin. Any little bump, texture, black head, flaw, anything that isn't flat and smooth, I feel like I have to pick at. I will literally tell myself I don't need to pick, and then my brain obsesses over the what ifs. What if there is pus in there? What if I don't flatten that spot? What if someone sees the bump? (Which rational brain me knows that picking only makes it more apparent🙃 but my OCD brain is like nahh, pick it, they can see it). What if I don't get the stuff out? And man do my compulsions feel satisfied when I do get something out of a bump. It's validating almost. See, if I hadn't squeezed that spot, the stuff that's not supposed to be there would still be there. Anyways, I'm hoping there's others who can relate to this specific disorder. I wish there was a cure as we all do. But for now I'll find some peace in knowing we're not alone.
I always think about how I can just sit in discomfort and get used to my environment or not act on impulse, but every time I try I get so overwhelmed and stressed out. When I am home, all day I obsess over the cleanliness of my room or apartment in general and I clean every single day/disinfect surfaces. I can’t focus on what I am trying to do without cleaning my space up and when I am cleaning then I have to get very little detail and everything has to be in the right position/location or is clean the way I like it to be clean. I get so annoyed with it sometimes and I start to judge myself for having OCD, but in reality I know it’s not my fault but it’s hard to deal with sometimes. I don’t really have anyone in my life that understands OCD so then I feel extremely isolated because no one can understand so when I try and talk about it then I feel misunderstood and even worse so now I keep it all in and get stressed and frustrated about it. I already take meds for depression and I have anxiety meds for as needed but I am afraid to be put on anxiety meds for daily use because I don’t want to feel numb and I want to be off meds in the next few years or by the time I graduate from college, because I have found very good methods for coping and managing my depression and anxiety. I just would like some advice on how to cope and mange with OCD, I am new to it because I haven’t ever wanted to address it until now. Thank you in advance!
does anyone else have both ocpd and ocd, i’ve recently came to the conclusion that i have both and it’s a lot :/
I’ve been visiting with and hosting my sister this week and working VERY hard on maintaining boundaries (p proud of myself actually). At the same time, discussions around her health and living situation can bring up ‘doubtful’ and stressful feelings and of course I’m not trying to foster that or feel panicked in general, so—any advice on self-support that’s healthy, while with a family member you love but who may trigger these feelings? I’m trying to use her stay as an opportunity for exposure, but BOY is it hard to resist the familiar coping mechanisms. C:
one way I see my ocd manifest is in obsessive thoughts about getting pregnant. My bf uses a condom and pulls out every time in addition to that and I still find myself wasting hours a day obsessing over every detail and convincing myself I must be pregnant. I am not sure what to do about this or how to find some relief. I want to be able to enjoy my life and not allow these irrational thoughts take over. I sit and analyze every detail replaying the same scenarios in my head to the point I am losing sight of reality.
Does anyone remember that meme where you respond to someone by saying “you are now manually breathing and blinking” forcing them to be very conscious of typically automatic bodily functions? I was thinking today on how to describe the feeling OCD gives and I think that meme sums it up prettty perfectly. Except for instead of breathing and blinking, it’s any variety of anxious things (and it’s constant ugh) Hope someone finds this insightful.
Why can't I stop going online only to look for people that hate my hobbies? I could just be on Tiktok and the voices in my head are telling me to look for videos that hate this or that. Or I could be looking at nice art and it's going to tell me to scour every comment or quote retweet to say how much it sucks and everyone who likes it sucks. I can be enjoying a game and suddenly my mood sours because I know there's someone out there who hates it, and now my head is going to tell me to go online and find opinions of others who hate it specifically. What is this? Is there something wrong with me? I hate looking for it but at the same time I can't help it. I feel like I'm going mad.
I THINK I’m starting to better understand my disorder and the impacts it has on me. I don’t think I’ve accepted that anxiety can have horrible symptoms that would be having an impact on me regardless of wether I had OCD. For example - I have HOCD/ROCD. Sure, the thoughts are horrible etc but the anxiety leads to: zero libido, lack of energy, no motivation, tiredness, you name it. All symptoms of anxiety. Is it any wonder ocd is hard enough let alone anxiety symptoms that would be there even if it was anxiety caused by something else. Does anyone else have similar thoughts? That lots of their symptoms are caused by anxiety too? Almost like they go hand in hand?
I actually prefer the night but sometimes I become more depressed at night. Maybe Im just tired. Idk.
Whenever I think something that I know is false or I say something out loud that I know is false or a lie, I have to tell myself inside my head “no not really I don’t know no no no” so that my brain knows that I’m acknowledging that the thing I said isn’t true or that whatever I was thinking is something that I don’t actually know to be compl true or not. Otherwise my brain will see that as me purposely lying without caring and then something horrible is gonna happen. Does anyone else have to do this?
Every time I’m in an anxious social situation, or around my crush, the compulsive grooming gets bad ugh it’s exhausting 😑
Any advice on how to forgive oneself for past mistakes?
So i started to notice my thoughts and try to find the root of the problem, why do i fear these things. I asked why i want to be so perfect to God? Cause im afraid of failing. Why? Cause then im just a fraud, a fake believer who drives people to a fake belief that i made up. And what? Then im a bad person. Why im afraid of that? Cause then i dont deserve to live... I dont know if i got this cause of my suicidal ocd and my obsession gave me this immediatelly but i had these thoughts while i was questioning myself. Then my psychologist was right and i developed ocd to save myself from suicide cause deep down i hate myself and i want to die when im not perfect or this is just another ocd? How can i find the root of my obsession fears without ocd manipulating it?
Hello everyone, I just wanted to let anyone know about the “strangeness” that happens in my head, my ocd is weird because I never thought I had it because people would often disregard when I would tell them. I guess they thought I was one of those teens that just wanted to have a mental illness to sound “cool”. I’m an adult now & it’s gotten worse to say the least. Everything stresses me out, apart from my anxiety everything is just straight up weird, let me explain. One of the strange things that happen in my mind is what I named “the number system”. Where in my mind, I associate numbers “especially 1-100” with specific people or specific events, & I always have to do things in a certain number, or I panic. I always have to enter a door exactly 1, 4, or 8 times or my stress level sky rockets. I have to wash my hands 4 times, & whenever I wash my hands any other time, I feel an omen like something bad is about to happen. This happens not only in certain things, but in most of my daily activities, from turning on/off lights, opening doors, to turning in the tv. And the more I do it, the more it stresses me out, I’m trapped. Of course to get rid of this I often try to do activities like playing video games or taking walks to bowling or lifting weight. It is useless however as it follows me in my activities as well. Whenever I’m playing video games I make my character jumo exactly a certain amount of time or enter a room a number of times. I always have to lift in order or in a pattern. What made this worse is the fact that there was once where I woke up feeling miserable around last year, with the biggest omen, then I had an urge to call a family member that I won’t name. This family member along with another, had LITERALLY just been in a car accident less than a minute when I called them. They’re both ok & doing well, they aren’t harmed, but had the angle been a bit to the left, they both could’ve died, this incident made everything worse. I’m afraid of them going through something like that & feel that if I have another omen something similar could happen. I don’t really have friends, only a few family members that I’m close to. I’m also very religious & I know I also have scrupulosity which is religious ocd. I even have to pray a certain amount of times because I often have blasphemous thoughts whenever I pray & feel like I’ll be punished for doing so. I turned away from religion a while ago but I had another incident in 2017 where another family member of mine was diagnosed with a rare disease in which he was paralyzed, & he could be cured from a month, to a year, to never. I turned to religion because I felt alone & had nothing left, he ended up recovering in about three months, & became more religious. Idk I haven’t told anyone this stuff but it’s freaking me out, especially since the only people I talk to are a few family members who don’t really know much about mental health. I feel like I’m slowly losing it. If anyone had anything similar & is in a better position please feel free to help my situation. There’s been times with I hit myself in the head in frustration (nothing serious, more like a slap in the forehead) as I’m losing patience with my mind. I’ve always had this since I was a kid, but never to this extent.
I have been in therapy since the end of January and I have made so much improvement since then. I would have never thought that in four months I have made as much improvement as I have. Recently I took a medication for a skin condition that messed with my hormones and set me back a bit but with all of the tools and knowledge I have gained I’m so proud that I was able to come back from that. My main themes are about being in the perfect relationship, questioning love, and over all black and white thinking. It’s still hard because the thoughts are still there and I have an anxious gut feeling a lot throughout the day but I know it will only get better from here. Please don’t give up on trying to heal yourself, it is so worth it. ROCD is not about your partner, it’s about you.
I’m so tired all the time. I want to think about other things but it’s impossible. I feel like I’m constantly questioning my thoughts and behaviors to justify them because my ocd tells me that nothing I feel is valid and that I’m just a bad person. I don’t wanna make any wrong decisions and I don’t wanna hurt anyone else ever but I feel like every single thing I think just makes me a bad person. I feel like people are lying to me because they know what I want to hear, but I also don’t want them to tell me what I don’t want to hear. I just wanna feel okay and not exhausted from every single thing in my life. It feels impossible, but I’m trying so hard to get better. I just wish it wasn’t so difficult.
So, I have been so happy with my partner recently. Our entire relationship in itself is just beautiful. We’ve been looking into apartments, we’re meeting each others families, and just spending as much time together as we can since we are long distance. He’s my second relationship I have ever been in and he’s also the first guy I will ever be doing this with like….ever. Every now and then I get the occasional thoughts of my abusive ex and I wish him farewell and blessings because I don’t hate him. I am in a space where even the OCD isn’t even important and neither is the trauma. But, today as I continue to look for apartments and decor and think about babies and every other thing me and my boyfriend have talked about, something in the back of my head keeps trying to… “creep in” (if that makes sense) to try and say but your trauma or what if your boyfriend isn’t even the one? what if you hurt him? what if he hurts you? wouldn’t it be easier to be alone? what if he’s not even your type anymore like what if he begins to be unattractive to me? Then it feels like I’m back at square one. My ex becomes the focus and I become the problem. It even feels like I am trying to insert him in places he doesn’t need to be in. While I recognize thinking of people from your past is normal, why does the person who caused me a whole bunch of pain and suffering get my brains attention at random and god-awfully horribly timed moments in my life where I have moved on and made peace with who I am and what I have been through? I feel so guilty because then I ask myself well do I still love my ex and it’s not true and even when I think about the pain even my ROCD knows it isn’t true. I just feel awful and horrible. I feel like the worst girlfriend and like I don’t deserve him. I’ve been through a lot and it hurts to even think that I may hurt him. I love him. Why doesn’t my mind just conform to that?
How to reduce rumination ?
Hi all! I wanted to share one of my posts from my new OCD IG account, @OCDeezNutz_ Helps me through all of this because it’s so true! Feel free to follow for more content, it’s definitely like therapy to me :) Oh, and also wanted to say I love you all and that we are so strong 🤍
I feel like a lot of people who suffer from OCD have “panic attacks” and times where their OCD is much more prominent. While that’s completely valid, I am starting to wonder whether I actually have OCD or not, because I don’t have times where my obsessions and compulsions are higher than others. If I see something asymmetrical, it upsets me, but once it’s fixed, I go back to normal. If it doesn’t get fixed, it’ll bother me for a while, but I’ll forget about it eventually. I may remember it a little while later, but I always completely forget about it at some point. There is a lot of consistency in the feelings of OCD I’m having, so I’m curious to know, is it possible to have consistent levels of distress with OCD, or am I just completely wrong in my feelings and I don’t actually have OCD?
TW for emetophobia!! I am a huge Emetophobe. Or- i guess- was before treatment. It’s not bad anymore, but I still don’t like being around people who are sick. My partner is visiting from La!! They live six hours away. They actually got here and starting feeling sick and vomiting :(( we took them to the hospital, but I didn’t panic at all! huge huge OCD win and I’m so happy about it.
Hi all, looking for those that have had success with ERP and wanting to know what are some of the best tips you could give? I’m very slowly looking to change the way I see anxiety. Instead of it being the problem, I am trying to see it as the solution. I.e. being anxious and bringing that on voluntarily is the only way to practice how to beat OCD. I’m obviously scared … what are peoples experiences?
I’ve been anxiety free for a while. Back in a relationship that will lead to marriage and suddenly can’t trust anything they do. Very concerned partner is cheating on me. Nervous to be in their apartment and ‘find’ something that proves they are cheating. Some things are ‘proof’ that I cannot let go of. We recently decided to move in together and now my OCD feels like it’s returning full force.
I have contamination ocd, not just about dirt but also touching dangerous chemicals. Any tips on overcoming hand washing? I try to avoid washing my hands as long as possible as I know it’ll take me forever to do it.
I was wondering if anyone else has experiences with both OCD & hypersensitivity/being extremely emotional. I’m not sure if they are connected or not, but for as long as I can remember I’ve been an overly sensitive & emotional person. My boyfriend can’t even remember the last time he’s cried, meanwhile I couldn’t even tell you how many times I’ve cried this week alone. I’ve been told that it’s draining to be around someone who’s an emotional “hot mess”, someone who seems to live in a constant state of anxiety, worry, fear, doubt, etc. I don’t want to be a burden to my friends & family, but when I keep everything bottled up, it overflows & it sends me into such intense spirals. Can anyone else relate? What are some things you do to help control your emotions?
Does anyone’s anxiety linger for a few hours after ERP? I did an exposure very high on my hierarchy and I felt so anxious for a few hours after
I'm in railway station I'm getting obsessed with every passenger walking in the railway station ocd makes me to compare with everyone in the station and at last makes me disapoint the result will be lot of headache and stress and body shivering it makes me forgot that I'm in a railway station and the medication makes me to recover from the obsessions and I will be in a dilemma for every sec and don't know what iam thinking.
anybody else feel like they’re justifying their sin by trying not to worry about what may or may not be against God’s will? for context, i have terrible break-up urges because my partner is an atheist and i am a new Christian. i hadn’t considered this would be a problem until i started reading about it on reddit and every comment said that we have no choice but to break up - if i didn’t end it, either God would not forgive me or our relationship would be doomed forever. i’ve read and re-read the verse on being ‘unequally yoked’ to the point that i can recite it from memory. my partner and i have been together for a long time and hope to marry within the next couple of years. i’m now terrified of going to hell because i want to continue building my life with this man. everything i read online tells me that “no good Christian would want to share their life with an unbeliever” which makes me then doubt my salvation because i still love my partner the same as i did before coming to faith. if i don’t drop everything and leave my current life behind to ‘take up my cross’ i fear that i’m not a ‘real Christian’ and will be punished. to top it off, i’m also terrified that if i do marry him, everyday for the rest of my life will be in sin and i will never be able to stop repenting or be happy without feeling incredibly guilty for disobeying God’s word. not asking for reassurance or advice, more curious if i’m the only person on the planet in a situation like this!? 😵💫😖 there’s a lot more to it but i don’t have the energy to type it all out…
does quality of life with ocd actually get better in future? or will i constantly have to remind myself for the rest of my life that it’s just ocd
OCD is clearly centred around doubt, or not knowing something, uncertainty. I have SOOCD and am receiving treatment for it. I have a troubling thought that is: “am I really fearful of being uncertain about XYZ or is it something else?” The word ‘uncertain’ seems to trigger me a little as i often think uncertainty isn’t the issue. So it seems to be more about debating the thoughts, not wanting the thoughts, feeling like the thoughts are wrong, proving they are wrong/right. The logic part of me says; the above is actually still about doubt and uncertainty… Am I getting stuck in wording here? Or does anyone have some concise thoughts on uncertainty?
being anxious without anything specific bothering you feels so weird like anything bad can happen. I catch myself kind of going over my previous intrusive thoughts and themes in my head wondering if it’s one of them and if it will “match” with the anxiety. I wish i could just let it be
I'm looking for help starting ERP for a particular kind of obsession. I've been researching ROCD and Limerence recently, and I think I have a combination of the two. It could also be SOOCD, since I'm aromantic. Any assistance y'all have on ERP is greatly appreciated! For as long as I can remember, I've gotten obsessed with people. When I I find a person who's traits or aesthetic I like, rather than feeling attraction or want or anything like that, I get attached to them, start to feel separation anxiety, and think about them almost every moment. I crystallize their "best" traits and daydream them into something they're not. I become infatuated and think they'll complete me because they feel "just right" somehow. It gets to the point where it interferes with my other thoughts, clouds my judgement, and causes stress. I've always thought it's just romantic attraction, but when an obsession leads to a relationship I don't actually enjoy it; it makes me uncomfortable, guilty, and sometimes scared (I also have trauma from a past abusive relationship that may contribute to this). I'm looking to start ERP for these people-obsessed thoughts, but I'm not sure what thought to specify. Would it be, "I'm in love with this person", "I'm obsessed with this person in an unhealthy way", "I need this person in my life", "I'll never be able to be with this person", etc.? And depending on which one it is, how do I know the difference between calming, coping thoughts and rituals/compulsions. Any assistance at all on ERP is greatly appreciated!
I have been obsessed with my relationships since my first boyfriend. I always have spent hours at a time with friends or myself doubting the relationship, combing over every interaction as undeniable proof they are unsafe or cheaters or liars or like they are actually abusive and it’s a matter of time before I am trapped with them. Breaking up always brings me significant relief. I always thought that I am just scared of relationships because my parents have a horrible marriage and were emotionally neglectful, so I figured I was just messed up, and maybe traumatized by one person who did cheat. I’m married to someone who loves me very much, who I trust more than anyone but I will oscillate between loving him and fearing him so much that I begin planning how I can divorce and move out and get away from him. If we don’t interact enough because we are working and tired, it’s a matter of time before I feel like I don’t know who he is and all the little things in our relationship that are not perfect, or legitimate but common relationship issues, just build in my head as evidence and it’ll go beyond facts into obsessive fear. I become paranoid he is cheating on me and is neglecting me while using me for money or whatever other benefit. Just in general, a terrible person that has yet to fully reveal himself. We honestly have issues every few days or week or so and I just become consumed. I’ll call friends or journal or just cry and panic for hours. We just moved to another state together where he is working a new job and I have been losing my mind. A few google searches led me to ROCD and I just cried reading the NOCD article about it. We both saw me in it exactly. I was diagnosed with severe OCD last year but it’s still unveiling itself to me because I had no idea how prevalent it was in my life. One thing I have been struggling with is staring at other women in public. It’s almost like I am constantly scanning for someone prettier or better than me for my husband to wish he was with instead. I’m constantly comparing myself but the worst is I accidentally look at people too much, and then I become intensely fearful that they know and I am being weird. Even when I am alone, probably because I am consumed with fears he will leave me, I am still scanning and obsessively looking at other people. It’s become semi uncontrollable and I’m trying to work on it now. Especially living in a new place, where I wanted this to be a fresh start, I want to be “perfect” and everyone I meet think I am normal and sociable, staring at people is making me terrified that everyone will know something is wrong with me and reject me instead. Sorry I wrote a book. I haven’t explored OCD in a meaningful way since my diagnosis (or any of the years I had a suspicion of OCD), and I am becoming genuinely shocked at how much it might be impacting my life in ways I was never aware of. I feel relief and hope because not knowing these behaviors may be OCD has been devastating and scary.
Every time I don't give in to a compulsion (which is more occasional than I would like), I end up crying. It's the response that just feels the most natural. Almost automatic... I "surprisingly" managed to give up on my excessive leg washing ritual in the shower, bcuz I just didn't have the energy reserves or motivation for it this time around. It's one thing for me to wash my hands over a sink for 5 or more minutes straight, & another to have to wash my "whole body" at once, with again, "over" 5 minutes per area, in a hot, steamy, not-so-spacious stall, that I have gotten dizzy & nauseous in before from staying in too long. Not only is it mentally stressful, but it's physically exhausting, & once I finally got down to my legs this afternoon, bent over & flustered, I just said "F IT!" out loud, let the soap rinse off even though I hadn't lathered it in a very specific way to my satisfaction first, & cried bcuz it didn't feel complete. But I needed to get out. Move on with my day. Eat my dinner, which was already going cold on the table. And get in my bed. I NEED to feel okay, with still noticing some streaks of skin left over (which doesn't mean that part didn't get clean), cuz it's damn near impossible to "perfectly" cover myself, until all I see is a smooth layer of white. Like you'd think this was contamination/germaphobia OCD, but it's actually perfectionism OCD in disguise. Bcuz it's less about getting rid of the dirt or the germs for me, & more about how it looks. Like whether or not it's visually appealing, bcuz in my mind, flawless = "right." Which makes me wonder if I should be facing away or closing my eyes as I'm scrubbing myself, bcuz "out of sight, out of mind?" But I'd feel so compelled to open my eyes & check. For god sake, it's like my showers have become an art project, bcuz the best way I can describe it is like with painting, & u want to cover every last bit of canvas. But these are bubbles! That I spread with my hands & not a brush, which I better not start considering a paint brush now! Bcuz that's even worse, crazier, & probably still wouldn't work anyway! Is there any hope for me at all? Can anyone else relate? Cuz my OCD is clearly a very severe, extreme, & advancing case. I wasn't this bad last year... Someone pls tell me that I haven't fully lost my marbles yet! Anyways, the amount of typing I have done for this post is probably also a compulsion (so as u can see, this piece of shit disorder has a way of affecting every individual aspect of my life - even this), & with that being said, I'm just gonna stop now.
I struggle with a body focused repetitive behavioral disorder due to ocd. I haven’t been able to find much of a community and resources are very limited regarding my disorder. I’d love to know if anyone else on this app is experiencing anything similar or has any advice, coping skills, resources that might be helpful!
I always wanted to have tattoo and even more now since I can whenever I want, but always had some false thoughts about it and fears that don’t let me do it. I know the better way to respond to that is to get it if I want to because « even if » I love tattoos and OCD shouldn’t take that away. But the fears are really hard to not think about, like I’m afraid if I gain weight one day they will be ugly forever and will forever loose the emotional meaning they add. What about if one day I loose memory and don’t like it again? Even if I know I will forever love it, also scare about the fact that I will never go away, and that’s what I want but the UNCERTAINTY like « forever » or WHAT IF this or that.. is really hard to forget!! I have many many other fears about tattoos and I just want to have my favorite things on my body it will help me to love myself more and fight ocd because I love the idea of do it EVEN IF. So I wanted to know if someone experienced the same things as me?
Today I’m leaving to go to Italy! Super excited but my anxiety is really getting the best of me. I’m nervous to gain weight on this trip since I won’t have a scale with me and be in control. Literally feel nauseous right now thinking about it. I hate gaining weight I just have the fear of getting heavy again that I was in high school
I’m soo damn tired of ocd controlling and ruining my life. I’ve decided I’m going to completely trigger myself so that I can show myself I can beat this. I’ve done it before and I can do it again. You can too! Do not let ocd rule your life!! YOU are in control! Remind your ocd of that! You can do this and get your life back!!
Hello, I need advice on how to get rid of this, namely when I play the game and I don't read a single word, I have to reset the game again, but the word is completely irrelevant
Personally cognitive therapy doesn't help me. My OCD just drives over that. Wanted to know what helps others? Opinions? What tools work best when your in OCD spiral? Any info helpful!👍
Anyone here diagnosed with both? And what r ur symptoms? I’ve wondered a lot if I have ADHD but never been officially tested or diagnosed
It seems like I been messing up at my job lately . I love it , it’s just a lot to get use too & I’m constantly trying to prove myself . It gets exhausting . I just wanna be a good employee
I used to have a lot of OSOCD about my house being in order. It was to the point where every single lightswitch in the house had to be in a certain position, and if I didn't check before bes I could not sleep and would stay up all night. Now I'm in college and I move around a lot more, as well as live with more people, so there's not a lot of places I can apply my OSOCD. It's become a lot less of a stressor for me, and objects out of "order" don't bother me as much anymore even though I still notice them. This is really helpful. HOWEVER. I've had a major increase in perfectionism OCD, and it often keeps me from doing things I enjoy or need to do like going to meals, wearing more than the same 3 items of clothing, or going to class. I barely had this problem before college, and it's worse now than it was before. I know there's lots of other factors that go into my increased stress like depression, anxiety, new environments, difficult classes, changed relationships, etc. But I can't help but wonder if calming one OCD pattern will just allow another one to pop up, and that this will be a continuous issue. What can I do to reassure myself and make sure I cover all aspects of my OCD? I don't want to feel like I'm not making any progress.
I’ve been on 10 mg Lexapro for almost two years and switching to Prozac tomorrow 20 mg any tips or things to look out for? Would love to hear people’s experiences if it did or didn’t work!
I was thinking about it and my ocd literally seemed non existent when I was dealing with chronic pain and also when I was really struggling with my religion and trying to figure out what I believed. Also, when I was in college. I’m realizing that our mind is a stage and my mind was too filled with other things to have room for ocd. Now in my life i don’t have chronic pain, not in college, etc. I constantly struggle. In fact I remember as soon as my chronic pain went away my ocd came back and has been really strong since. I think people like us with ocd have an overactive brain and really need stuff to fill our mind stage otherwise from my experience it fills with stupid ocd stuff and obsessing and ruminating. Not saying we need pain to get rid of ocd but really challenging our minds with other things for me made my ocd practically non existent.
I’m wondering if anyone has any ERP suggestions for real event OCD? That’s such a weird subtype and I’m not sure what the best approach is. Thanks !
I’ve struggled with OCD my whole life and have dealt with many of the subcategories from religion, to harming those I love, to becoming hyper-fixated on bodily functions like breathing and blinking. My compulsions have gone from counting, to mental rumination, to cleaning, checking, you name it. However, one of the of categories I struggle with the most is Just Right OCD, and perfectionism. This often comes up in different forms- for instance, if I get my nails done but they don’t “feel right”, I ruminate on it for hours and hours, often resulting in a migraine. To the outside person, it seems so silly. They’re just nails! To me though, if it’s not “just right”, I end up ruining days over it. This extends beyond just getting my nails done. It could be changing my phone wallpaper, editing a photo, reorganizing my apartment. I feel embarrassed to even write down the things that cause my OCD to come up, because they feel so superficial, but it is so so hard on me mentally. This type of OCD is so painful! Does anyone else feel this way?
So I moved back home & it’s been about a week since I’ve been back & I haven’t seen any of my friends & im starting to feel pretty lonely. I started to think, “why don’t my friends hit me up even though they know I moved back, did they not miss me?” I then think more rationally and think, “well people also have lives and difficulties too, if you want to see them let them know, be grateful that you have friends and loved ones” then I realized that I was like this before I got diagnosed with OCD when I was younger, always felt, “needy”
today has been really bad, I've washed my hands atleast three times every time I touch something gross you know when you're supposed to because I just can't get it to feel right when I do it. my friends and family just think it's a silly little "quirk" but I get so stressed out about it. does anyone have any advice for trying to push through the sick feeling when you ignore the thoughts?
I always thought my OCD was looking out for me and looking out for my happiness but now I see my OCD wants me to be alone, miserable and “safe”. It’s like Gollum.
Hello, I have a problem, namely that when I play games or browse the computer, I feel the need to read something, and if I don't read a word and install or whatever, I feel intense anxiety and the need to reload a game or windows or a movie, and if I don't do this, I feel intense anxiety. Im asking for help
Identifying distortions in thinking can help us in cutting down compulsions abs rumination. Here are some: All or none thinking Catastophizing / jumping to conclusions Magnifying Discounting the positives Emotional reasoning Tunnel vision “Should “ statements Comparing Mind reading Hyper responsibility Magical thinking Have a good day
I need some ideas and thoughts on what to do when you’re having a bad day. I know I need to allow myself to feel my feelings but I also want to practice some self care and self compassion. Any ideas?
You probably don’t see it now and I didn’t either but if you put in the work, you’ll see results and you’ll feel a lot better. I want to thank this community for all the support and help. I honestly thought I wasn’t gonna make it but now I’m back to my normal self thanks to all of you and my therapist. I encourage you to do research, to practice, to face your fears and to conquer them. IT WILL GET BETTER.
Hi all, I am looking for people/friends to talk to that understand anxiety and ocd (not reassurance seeking or anything of the sorts). Just people who get it that I can connect with. I feel like support may be vital to our journeys and would love to connect more with our community. If anyone is interested in connecting, please let me know. We can exchange numbers, social media handles, or whatever!
I have compulsion about rubbed skin. I first get thought then i rubbed my skin until is al red or Burn. I want to stop but i can't. I would be grateful is someone would give me any advice. Thank you 🙏
I recently downloaded this app in hopes of getting some advice and feeling less alone in my thoughts. Some backstory: my boss has OCD too, so I know that they understand a little bit, but my other two coworkers do not. Sometimes while I’m doing something that might be part of my compulsions one of my coworkers will laugh at me because “it’s not necessary and I’m making more work for myself.” I don’t feel close enough to this person to explain that I can’t complete a task without doing some things that might add additional work (and struggle with figuring out how to explain it even if I did feel like I could), but my one coworker’s reactions to some of the things I do have been bothering me a lot. Has anyone else experience these type of reactions to compulsions (being laughed at), and if so, is there anything I can do to not feel so upset by it? I’ve been trying to take small steps to improve, but still have a lot of things that I “have” to do even if other people don’t find them necessary.
Meaning that my mind is addicted to some compulsions and obsessions and if I don’t do them I get overwhelmed with anxiety How ? For example while writing in this notes app I have to press space and write in a specific way, or whenever I finish using my phone I have some actions I have to to do or else it just doesn’t feel right Also washing up, taking showers and even using the toilet in a specific way and order that take 2 or + hours daily and is very very draining When I get in the car When I wear my clothes When I sit down to eat When I prepare my coffee in the morning When I tie up my hair When I blow my nose When I use the google app When I make my bed When I put on my shoes When I wear my socks Don’t get me even started on when I’m on my periods, and I have to change a pad every 6/7 hours… And a lot more… At first it was not a big deal and I thought I’d overcome it, I underestimated it and thought I was stronger but I guess I’m not Today it got so big to a point where it affected my whole life, I’m always late, always fighting over the pressure, always pressured with time always running for that satisfaction I get when I complete every compulsion but the satisfaction is just temporary and I find myself repeating the same rituals some hours afterwards, it’s really really really really tiring and draining up all kinds of energy Some days I will be being so grateful and happy that I’m not going out to see anyone, because it means I don’t have to brush my teeth. Brushing my teeth has been a pain in the ass for me because it is as I remember my very first compulsion developed, or one of the firsts, I have to brush my teeth in a very specific way and sometimes I will be pushing so hard on that toothbrush I end up having blood coming out of my mouth, I have to brush my teeth in a certain way or else I won’t be satisfied and it just won’t feel right. I have never brushed my teeth in less than 5 minutes, ever Just a simple compulsion of brushing teeth might seem ridiculous, but added to the others and giving that it’s on a daily basis, it gets very quickly so exhausting, and I’ve had several depressive episodes due to this condition and I constantly feel tired while I find myself having spent a « lazy day » and not done a single productive thing, my family sees it as laziness probably and it got me into feeling guilty This whole condition is the source of so much downgrade in my life and now everything is related, i lost all self esteem of myself, I am so insecure, so feeling unproductive and lazy I feel like I can’t get anything done properly, and I feel extremely guilty for so many reasons as well There are also so many things that can be added to this list to describe my mental state right now and I’m not sure I have the energy to list them all.
I wonder if these thoughts are ocd?:I wont let you enjoy sex,music and other stuffs.i wont let you read that tex and i will distract you and stral your ability to read and enjoy. For example i am in bath and singing a song for myself and suddenly this thought pops up:i wont let you sing anymore and ejnoy. I should mention i have a lot of subtypes of ocd like religous(as an atheis) and others like perfectionism.but i dont quite understand this so called ordering type.
I feel like my brain constantly holds on to anything I do that feels weird or wrong. Like one of mine is throwing stuff in the garbage can. Even if I don’t panic my brain holds on to it and I feel like I’m never in the present. I’m always holding onto thoughts even if my body is calm.
Does anyone else deal with a guilty conscience 24/7? Like even thinking something bad about someone makes me want to tell them what o thought. Gossiping does this. Hiding a surprise from my partner, etc. everything gives me a guilty conscience. I’m in ERP and that’s been helpful. Sometimes my OCD symptoms are way too overbearing though. Sometimes I notice a lot of it has to deal with my step daughter’s mom, and I know she triggers me immensely.
Hello Everyone I would like to know if anyone has tried Transcrannial Magnetic Stimulation for OCD and what are your feedbacks about?
I have a solo acoustic performance scheduled for this Friday, and I am scared to death. My OCD has really latched onto music, and I haven't played a solo show in about 6 months. I have 4 days to prepare, and I have a cold today. I know I have to play this show, I'm just very terrified that things are going to go poorly.
I can’t tell if I have anxiety or OCD. I tend to think I’m anxious loops aboht a very specific topic and it gets worse and worse until it’s unbearable. There are a lot of things I need to do “just right”, like the timing of my music when I’m on walks, or the color mixing and fit of my outfit. I am never satisfied in my relationships (romantic and platonic) because I always question whether I’m in it with the right person. I’ve developed a set of rules someone must meet for me to like them, except these rules are all just manifestations of my own personality traits, no one ever meets them, and I am always dissatisfied with all my friends. I had to break up with my last (almost) boyfriend because I couldn’t decide if I liked him or not because he didn’t have the “right” traits. I have never known if I liked any of my friends and this even extends to my mother who may be difficult but who loves and cares for me very much. It makes me feel like a bad person and relationship partner, but I get over this by telling myself it’s okay to treat these people poorly because they are not my “true” friends, partners, etc. I always need people to think I’m “good” - there are parts of my life I HAVE to portray properly to different people so they like me and I HAVE to share it with them so I can control the image of me they have in their heads and so they can like this manifestation of myself I’ve created. I have trouble making decisions because I always consider every possible outcome, and if I do it for too long, I just lose the ability to make the decision because I can’t choose the right option and I freeze. This has happened to me while driving and I’ve almost crashed my car because of it. I often get flashbacks to times I have humiliated myself, and I sometimes tense up my body and close my eyes to get rid of them, sometimes ruminate. I go in and out of phases of lining up all my things in certain ways and I have very rigid moral principles that when I stray from them, I get immense guilt. I have also developed a recent problem where I worry I have a certain mental illnesses (I’ve had a BPD phase, and NPD, OCPD, and autism). I NEED to know immediately if I have the mental illness so I can use it as a scapegoat for all my problems, so I google everything about the illness and obsessively read multiple studies to prove if I have the illness or not. This usually makes my mental illness speculation cycles worse. I also go in and out of phases of having a rigid daily routine, but this is usually only if I have something to “accomplish” (often weight loss, social activity, or homework related). I also have a problem where I HAVE to do things in the most time-efficient, cost efficient, or resource-efficient way possible or I will feel guilty or bothered by the waste. Whag complicates this is a couple things. I have had specific rumination cycles for quite a while, but I don’t always do compulsions to get rid of them. Sometimes I just sit with them till they drive me crazy. This makes me worry I don’t have OCD and I actually have anxiety - in fact I have a GAD diagnosis from an ex therapist (I dumped her because I kept worrying she was “wrong” for me and wouldn’t understand my problems and give me an improper diagnosis. This to me is reminiscent of ROCD but maybe I am also just picky). I also have ADHD - pure ocd is often comorbid with ADHD as I have read, but I fear my problems may just be a manifestation of people pleasing + RSD (adhd symptom) + other ADHD tendencies. I have also read about overfocused ADHD (a newly researched ADHD subtype that is not yet in any diagnostic manual) and worry this may be my issue. I also think I may “forget” whag compuslions help me due to ADHD working memory issues - but this is just a personal theory backed in no research. I also worry that all these issues could be a manifestation of autism (rigidness and social difficulties) but maybe the problem is my worry about this and not an actual presence of ASD, who knows. And maybe my worries are just a result of my upbringing - I did have an extremely strict, rigid, and rules and image-oriented mother, who also claims she has OCD but takes it lightly because she doesn’t like mental health diagnoses. She definitely seems like she is always in distress but it doesn’t seem to bother her. So is my problem genetic from her (OCD or some sort of anxiety) or is it just an imprint from the rules and things she put on me as i grew up? I have also been anorexic for a few years now. These symptoms i describes have always been there, but never were intolerable really until the onset of my anorexia. That made them pretty bad, and then I gained a bunch of weight when I went to college which made these thought processes I described go completely out of control. I don’t know if this is a problem of having an eating disorder that would go away if I recovered, or if I just worsened a prexisting problem by developing an eating disorder. That is another concern. By the third month of being in college, my thought cycles would get so bad that I would sometimes lose the ability to properly communicate and make a fool out of myself in front of everyone. To combat this, when I felt my thought cycles coming along, I would lock myself in the nearest family bathroom or lactation room for a few hours of guaranteed and unadulterated privacy. I have genuinely spent multiple hours sitting on the same bathroom floor, it makes me hate myself and it is horrendously disgusting. I am genuinely an extroverted, fun-loving, and funny person, but whatever is going on with me has robbed me of my personality and made it near-impossible to make any friends in college. I often worry that I will end up alone forever because of whatever has started happening in my head. Out of all these differential hypotheses I have provided to OCD, my strongest doubt about myself is that a therapist diagnosed me with GAD and told me I didn’t have any other issues - I just had anxiety about having other issues. I’m not sure if that’s true, but I’m also not sure I can have confidence in my opinion over a trained professional. If anyone had the energy to read all of this… thank you, you’re an angel, I appreciate you so very deeply, and PLEASE give me an opinion on what you think is wrong with me. There’s got to be something diagnosable and I think it goes a little deeper than simple GAD.
I just realized, that being diagnosed with OCD almost just feeds into it by confirming it. Like yes, it's a valuable piece of information to know, because how else are u supposed to start working on it, if u don't know what ur gonna be working "on." But I'm catching myself using this mental illness & its name, as an excuse for my compulsions, being that mental illness is becoming more & more accepted in society every day. I wondered, if by simply changing the narrative, & creatively taking stock of all the different things it could actually stand for, if that would eventually be reflected in reality too. In the same way that the more u tell yourself something, the more likely it is to become real. If u believe it hard enough. #fakeituntilyoumakeit So without further ado, choose ur new & improved OCD acronym: * But to lead in, here is an interesting thought. Isn't it ironic that people who are obsessive/impulsive are described as being very "orderly," but it's a "disorder?" 1. An "Opposite-Of-Organized, Counter-Intuitive, Development-by-Regression" (OCD-R?) This one is long, & a bit of a mouthful, but please let me explain. By "counter-intuitive," I literally mean u become more "refined, polished-off of impurity, cultured, & civilized" (all the words u would imagine germaphobia & prfectionism would best achieve) by going back to a time when u actually didn't care as much about anything, that being the resurfacing of ur inner child. Because let's be honest... OCD makes us hate germs, but OCD is the biggest germ of them all, in disguise. So yes, I'm suggesting that u actually "unlearn & undo" all of these years of trying to seem sophisticated & mature in front of people, when it's probably been a bit overkill, & to the point of just being stressful. And honestly, there never wasn't pressure when it came to appearance. Just let loose. 2. Only Chasing Dreams (meaning u should focus primarily on just end results/outcomes, rather than the process, or level of performance "during." Cultivate patience & trust) 3. Obeying Coo-Coo-Commandments "Decreasingly." Yes, it will probably simmer down gradually rather than cut out instantaneously. But just try to remember, that a person never need abide by something that isn't a moral or ethical obligation, or comes from a demanding Karen like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And a Karen not getting what she wants is always entertaining. 4. Oneself Can Deal (...with it 😉) * Feel free to come up with some of ur own ⬇️
I constantly replay every mistake I’ve ever made in my head. Doesn’t matter how old. And I just feel like the worst person and if only people knew these things they’d think I’m an awful person.. I wouldn’t be accepted, wouldn’t have a job, my life would be over. How do I go out into the world and take up space without feeling like a fraud? I don’t want to trick people into thinking I’m a good person, I want to truly be a good person. But I’m weighed down by every mistake I’ve ever made.
Mental compulsions make it hard to carry on conversations or focus on anything. Had a great weekend working hard not to do them then today because of stress it’s been hard. 🤷🏼♀️
I used to have fun with my fandom hobbies. But ever since I saw someone in a YouTube comment section mocking someone (for shipping, fanfics etc.), I got this obsessive urge to go to social media apps or websites and search for specific terms that bring up these types of discussions. And so far it has been a painful compulsion, I witnessed others sharing my interests being called many harmful things or insulted for enjoying it, and now I'm ashamed. I keep looking at quote retweets of a fanart to make sure noone is calling it bad or whatnot, I search for keywords on discord to see how others will insult it or find it annoying, and more. I want to stop, I want to go back and enjoy what I do but I can't.
How do y’all be more compassionate to yourselves, or allow yourself to sit with the discomfort? I realize I will often run from the discomfort, only to amplify the meanings attached to them. This makes me extra hard on myself, and getting that, “stuck,” feeling thinking how long/hard of a process this may be.
i believe that i have real event ocd coupled with relationship ocd. the real event ocd, which includes several events throughout my life, is making me feel as though i am not worthy of the relationship i am in, which i understand is an irrational thought. how do you forgive yourself? how do you try to forget? and most importantly, how can i accept love from others if i’m not always happy with myself?
I’m actually so proud of myself because I was having a big OCD crisis after a long break, who was like my first one but also the worst one I had in my entire life. I almost had a panic attack, thought it was the start of the end again. Even if this started by a compulsion.. it’s the first time I’m facing the fear, accepting anxiety and giving me unconditional love. Even if it’s my very first win since years this show that all I learned was worth. Thanks NOCD for existing. And for anyone reading this: your patience and work will pay, before today I thought there will be no cure for me, no hope just struggle forever and I know it’s will NOT cure or make my obsessions go away forever. But I want to learn how to face my fears, and to let people who struggles like me to know that no matter what I love you and you deserve to love yourself too.
I feel like my OCD is back to one of my original themes before I got diagnosed or flared up severely which is ROCD. Me and my best friend now live in different states & I can’t help but wonder so many things, it feels like I always need reassurance. I don’t want to act all Insecure and constantly check if she left me on read or how long it’s been since she last responded back. I want to live my life too like she is but I just have fears of being forgotten or our dynamic changing, being replaced. This theme always reminds me of my past.
Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to decide if I would get coffee when I went out or make it at home. Got frustrated, had a laugh, and now going to make it a great day! Recovery isn’t always easy sometimes you get stuck, but that’s okay!
Anybody take anxiety meds??
