I just put the cups away in the wrong order and then i did the same with the bowls and i tried counting but my brother asked if i was okay and i started crying because i was frustrated and my mom yelled and now i’m just sitting here crying wishing i put the bowls away right lol
Perfectionism OCD - Community
Has anyone suffered from engagement anxiety??? I am struggling with intense doubts and fears - I am trying to work through it but it’s really hard. I really love my partner, my family loves him, and there are no red flags but I don’t want to get engaged when I’m spiraling so bad so I’ll probably wait. The thing is every time the engagement seems real and that it’s happening soon, I freak out and get so anxious. Any tips????
I have AirPod pros and they have these ear tips and there are different sizes for them. I always check them over again to see if there the same size because I always think 1 side is medium and one size is small but I want both sides to be the same and it’s really annoying to check them repeatedly.
My life is good, but i Want to feel all things and be grateful to be incontrol of my life. I think being positive and confident is important, but without knowing / feeling it i cant achieve it. So I do these mental compulsion to get right feeling to be normal , perfect. But like all the compulsions it goes in circle and circle. Not doing it I feel unhappy, frustrated and life goes out of control even tho I know I should not. I don’t want to make these compulsions. I feel so stupid.
Does anyone ever have a thought about doing something or you have a scary thought that you fear of becoming true. And then all of a sudden your ocd digs deeper and you start to think well what if all that did happen and now what I’m actually experiencing isn’t reality? Sounds crazy I know. But that’s how far my ocd digs.
Does anyone else have this?: I live with three roommates and I constantly obsess about how much I talk to/interact with them - like I keep feeling like I have to have more conversations with them, be more polite, etc - even if I don’t always feel like it, and they often don’t return the favor themselves. It’s a huge obsession that’s been bothering me the past couple months, because I know logically that I’m a very nice, compassionate, polite person - but the ocd blows it up and makes me feel terrible and so guilty for not talking to my roommates all the time.
Not really related to OCD (or at least I don’t think so, maybe a little perfectionism), but I’m out of work for awhile and lonely and don’t even know where to begin to rebuild my life. I’ve tried finding my “passion” and thought maybe that would be where to start. But I cant get out bed or brush my teeth. And every time I try to think of doing something positive, I just feel a giant sense of overwhelm and a billion different thoughts that keep me stuck and not making it forward. I feel like I need a taser or somebody to come punch me in the face. Something that will shake me out of it. Its like I can be so thirsty and the water right next to me and im telling my arm to reach for it, but my arm aint moving. The thoughts are almost like a defense mechanism, keeping me stuck under this giant rock. Even when i can break the stuckness and move the rock a little bit it lasts for maybe an hour or a few hours or maybe a day. And im constantly fighting to keep the rock off my head with one hand and build strength with the other hand so maybe i can eventually have the strength to move the rock away all together. But my arm just gives out eventually and the rock solidifies back into its original place and I’m back to square one. Its like the rock is magnetic and it doesnt matter for how long i can keep it open and away, it will shoot back to its place within seconds. Im also curious if because this has been going on for so many years that its almost like trauma. That was mentioned to me once, but I think its BS and a disservice to people who have really suffered from trauma. I’ve had a pretty cushy life so to speak. Just ranting I suppose.
I get so guilty if I say something and it wasn’t completely the truth and I feel so sick and I often confess it and then it makes things worse for the other person. My therapist wants me to do exposure therapy by telling white lies, and it’s killing me. I can barely look my wife in the eye because I feel like I lied to her and it’s such a burden for me to carry and I feel disconnected from her.
Hey everyone! So I’m new to this community. Even though I first started noticing my symptoms in my late teens after almost 15 years I finally got my diagnosis. I thought I had overcome a lot of it and it wasn’t “bad enough”to be diagnosed, but I never realized that a lot of it had to do with my thought processes as well. I had only paid attention to the cleaning or “evening out” of things or physical touch. But wow im so shocked to learn that alllllll the other things that were driving me crazy in my own head were a part of ocd. Checking again and again, asking for reassurance, immense amount of guilt and shame, so much anxiety and fears or worries bad things would happen. Feeling like I couldn’t move on until things were “perfect” and much more. It’s a lot to absorb and this past week has been exhausting coming to fully acknowledge all the mental health obstacles that I have been ignoring for so many years. I’m sooo so glad I can speak to people who fully relate to the struggle. We are all beautiful and in my eyes, we have already succeeded as people given the trauma and angst we’ve been through, we’ve done the best we could to survive. Now let’s keep going until we start thriving and break the chains that have been holding us back from freedom and happiness. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
I absolutely love my boyfriend to death but I just got in an argument and am wondering if we are good for each other and if it’s a long term relationship and I can’t tell if that’s how I actually feel or if it’s my ROCD. But it’s just honestly like I’m trying so hard to keep myself ok and be a better person and I’m very happy in my relationship but I mean there’s that sometimes and because I’m not mentally well, I freak out over the little things and then I worry that I don’t want to be with him because of that minor thing. Whenever I calm down, I can acknowledge that isn’t how I actually feel but in the moment it’s so real.
Every time I think I can casually post something on Instagram, and not even look at anything else, I still end up spiraling and second guessing everything and not feeling "right". And I hate it. OCD has really attached to Instagram and avoiding it all together feels compulsive and yet when I don't avoid it the "just right" and other OCD gets triggered and I want to take posts down or leave them up and neither feels right and I feel ashamed that I spend this much time feeling upset by something that used to be fun
I’m not sure if I have OCD but I thought I’d share some of my symptoms and see if anyone can relate. I’m 20 years old and I’ve been experiencing all of these things for as long as I can remember. Over the years they’ve become less severe and more manageable. I have a big issue with textures and the way things feel on my body like if I could feel the seem of my sock on my toes or not being able to sleep because I could feel a wrinkle in my sheets. I’ve also always struggled with feeling like I’m unable to breathe, like I can’t get a full breathe, which I’ve now realized is anxiety. I also will think if I don’t do “blank” something bad is going to happen so I’ll have to do whatever it is, this one specifically has gotten way more manageable over the years. I also have a really bad habit of picking my fingers until they bleed I think it’s because if I see a hangnail I feel like I have to fix it for whatever reason even I know I’m making it worse and it’s painful my brain tells me it’s fixing it
Hi everyone. I’ve been struggling with undiagnosed anxiety for years now, and started an incredibly healthy relationship about 7 months ago. I purchased a ton of books and listened to a ton of podcasts to teach me how to be the best partner I can be for my girlfriend and not let my trauma affect our relationship, but I’ve really been struggling with awful thoughts about self-sabotaging (imagining myself in a situation where I cheat, where I fall out of love, where I irreparably hurt her) even though I know I love her. I cannot get the thoughts out of the head, and they make me nauseous and dizzy with worry that I’m going to ruin something good, or that our relationship isn’t healthy despite all my efforts to be an absolute perfect girlfriend (which is exhausting in and of itself). Hit a breaking point today where I started frantically googling things (Google is my best friend whenever I’m stressed) and found this community. I don’t know if I have OCD (the more I learn the more I’m convinced I do) but I’m hoping this app can at least give me some resources to help manage my emotions. Thank you.
this isn’t technically ocd related but i need to vent. i’m so tired of seeking external validation. it’s where my social anxiety and ocd stem from, usually the fear of being neglected. i’m a perfectionist and an overachiever and i seek my parents validation specifically. as i’ve gotten older i’ve realized that feeding on that (getting perfect grades, doing everything to please them) has had a negative impact on me. i did the dishes for my mom, cleaned off the table, i just was outwardly nice tonight because she was angry. i was trying to lighten her mood and she didn’t even slightly acknowledge what i was doing. it seems stupid because i’ve been “feeding” on that validation and when i don’t get it i shut down. it’s a really shocking realization. i honestly don’t know who i am. i’ve lost all of my friends over the past year and i don’t have anyone to turn to besides a few acquaintances who don’t really understand me. i’m afraid to be vulnerable with them too. i feel stuck at home, not being able to build my own self esteem. it looks great from the outside, but my parents and siblings (and i, guilty of it until i realized how terrible it is) judge people constantly. we’ll have entire dinner conversations about other people and basically insulting them. this is kind of when i realized how if we are that critical of other people, how much of that same criticism have i ignored towards me? i’ve also noticed every time i get defensive they always say “i’m just teasing”, as if i just can’t take a joke when i’m being insulted? my parents give unconditional love but yet i still feel the need to be perfect. they let me make my own decisions. they’re outwardly loving and compassionate towards me. i know they love me. i don’t know why i’m fixated on controlling their moods when they get upset or angry. i also feel like i’m being unfair to them because they’ve provided so much for me and my few grievances with them don’t amount to what they’ve done for me. i can’t talk about this with anyone because my mom cancelled my next therapy session - with a therapist i’ve been seeing for a year who seems to not be equipped for ocd. i’ve mostly done talk therapy and i’m now aware that’s harmful, right? we’re trying to find a new one but i don’t know if i can make it much longer before i lose my mind. i don’t think it’s intentional but i can’t seem to connect the dots - how can i grow up with a solid home life and still have so many issues growing up? like am i just that unaware? when they ask me if i’m mad i feel like i can’t be honest. i don’t know why. i feel like they sometimes seem to downplay it or talk their way around it. they even apologize but i still feel stupid for taking up space, having needs, or not being the perfect child. it doesn’t make sense to me and i’m freaking out. has anyone else had an experience like this?
I shared this in another post but I think it could be helpful for someone else about some things to practice to deal with anxiety. Maybe you can put them in your anxiety first aid kit. 😄 Breathing and meditation are good for me but not always so that's when I try to switch it up. I sometimes go for a walk and try to focus on what I see and being present. Journaling is also really helpful for me. It helps me identify the underline belief that's causing the thoughts that are making me anxious. You see normally the problem is not the problem. We think anxiety is the problem which is actually not. Anxiety is like a fire alarm is not the fire itself. We then think our thoughts are the problem but I will say they are just the smoke and not the fire itself. So, what would be the fire? I will say it's the interpreter of our thoughts. See the problem is that we have an interpreter saying things to us in our head about our thoughts that are just lies. For example, if I don't deal with x right now something bad will happen. The interpreter is saying right now which is a lie. Another one could be, I'm anxious because there's something wrong with me and I'm bad or something like that. Again, a lie. What can you do? Fire the interpreter. Say: "you know what? I'm ok. I don't need to solve anything right now unless it's an actual fire and that's the fire department job. I don't need fixing or get things the way I want to to feel safe. I'm not my thoughts nor I'm anxiety. I'm just the observer and I'm safe with myself." Thoughts will keep popping but with kindness and patience you can keep refocusing on being present, love yourself and let go of fear. It's a process, a journey if you will. And it's not about arriving but about enjoying the journey itself. The goal it's not to be perfect but to be present and grow little by little in being loving and compassionate with ourselves and share that with others. Hope this helps. Virtual hug 🫂
My daughter and I used to be very close. She is 27 and around the beginning of Covid she started treating me different. Acting different, almost like she is embarrassed of me or better than me. Annoyed by me. She is often judgmental and hurts my feelings. She can be very cruel. I’ve tried repeatedly to find out what’s wrong. She tells me She doesn’t know what I am talking about. When I feel really anxious, this fixation is sometimes all I think about. I run things over in my head to see what I could have done. Sometimes I don’t sleep and have trouble focusing. I think things like she has stopped loving me or she likes her Dad and his family better. I send her texts and she may reply to 1 or 2 of them. I read books and articles on how to deal with the rejection. I haven’t tried to get reassurance and I will do that for a bit but it doesn’t usually last. My point is, I’ve been obsessing and ruminating about it. I cry a lot. I feel angry. Sometimes I just can’t stop trying to figure it out while also thinking it’s these kinds of things that probably drive her away. I feel ashamed. Sometimes I get so worried I am just going to disappear and no one will notice. I can’t actually believe I am putting this in writing. When I have said these things to people in the past they start to look at me different. I feel like I am misunderstood as if I am attention seeking. I’m not tho. I have to see if anyone else struggles with similar “relational” anxieties and what they did to alleviate the pain and discomfort. I want to stop this. I hate being this way.
So I‘m a Christian and it says that everything you do , like making someone a gift or using make up , you should do with pure motives or thoughts. For me I feel like everything I do is not fully pure. Of course I want love to be in the world an peace and happiness, but I also like getting attention or compliments, I like making myself pretty , I like Beeing proud when I did something good . Maybe I‘am not made to be a Christian, maybe it is to late for me but I suffer and are not happy right know since I try to get under als theses rules, I really do not know how to behave right or how other Christians are so happy under all these laws.
Hi... alright it's taken me a lot of thought and guts to ask this so I'm just going to say it right away. I'm 17 and I'm struggling with perfectionism ocd and maladaptive daydreaming. Apparently the ocd started when I was about 8 or 9 but I just recently put a name to it and discovered that this is acc what's been going on-a whole lot of things make sense now. The problem is,no one knows. And having been in this community for a while,I know a lot of you understand how hard this is. I don't want my parents to know cause,their part of what caused this in the first place and they'll just think I'm being dramatic. And even if they DID know,we can't afford ERP. I am however trying self care and even though it's really frustrating and slow,I just really want to get better. However,I really think I need to talk to someone. And the person who keeps coming to mind is my boyfriend. He's also 17, but he's just... wonderful. And really mature for his age. He recently came close to dicovering my ocd(he saw this app) but I stopped it. We've been together for a little over a year now and we're really happy. What's stopping me from telling him is,he has his own problems. That and I keep doubting myself about whether this is the right step. Knowing him, he's going to be supportive in the way he can,but I just keep doubting myself and asking"what if".... I know some of you might have been through something similar so pls advise me,am I self sabotaging by telling him or is it a step in the right direction??
It's so hard trying to figure out compulsions that you are doing unconscious... I think I'm trying to figure out more of those unconscious compulsions ( feeling checking, telling my brain what I rly want, nitpicking my partner etc). What is the best way to figure out your unconscious compulsions?
I’m having a huge ocd episode rn because I fell asleep and woke up feeling very tired but because I felt ‘off’ my ocd didn’t like that and is going absolutely crazy rn. I think it’s also from eating too much sugar but I keep getting thoughts like “this is going to happen” “it will happen” right before I fall asleep it’s scaring the crap out of me. I wake up and I feel like I’m gonna have a huge panic attack. And my ocd is like “you’re gonna go crazy” Can anyone plz help? :(
I keep getting stuck in a checking loop at work (unable to send emails, after reading over and over, spending loads of time over every word and it’s meaning) I know I’m supposed to just practice the thing with out compulsions but not sure I’m quite there yet…/finding it super hard to get out of the loop!! Any tips from anyone in similar situations with checking v much appreciated!
Bah! Starting off the first day of the regular curricula by not going to bed till after 5:30am! I don’t even know if I got (really) stuck on those lessons plans. I didn’t even get to prep all the materials I was supposed to. I have just as much lesson planning I’ll need to do tonight. I still have to enter tons of data. I still have more trainings past due. And that’s not even the end of my work tasks. Plus there’s new “solos” I need to learn for band, posters and posts to be made, general life stuff like showering once in a blue moon…. I’m just so mad for not sleeping. I told myself I wouldn’t do this and only a week or so in and poof. 🤦🏼♀️😭
My ocd has just been so annoying recently it’s starting to make me mad. I’m just so over it at this point. And there’s no way to ever make it go away. I know how to handle it but at the same time I’m still bothered by all the thoughts because my ocd can’t comprehend not being bothered by them. I don’t know how to not care. :( I didn’t at some point but I have to be so extremely busy where I didn’t even have time to think about it. Advice would be appreciated
i’ve found that learning more about OCD is dreadful. like, the more things i realize about myself and my brain, the more i notice the little things OCD makes me do. now anytime i do anything, i find myself wondering if it was a weird compulsion or intrusive thought. anyone have anything to combat this?
Oh hey, OCD warrior here, just wanted to let everyone know it DOES get better. I haven't posted or even looked on NOCD for over 2 years now (until now lol) because I don't need it anymore. For such a long time I was at a place with my OCD where I didn't think I would ever get out of the hole my OCD had dug me into. I was hopeless, I really thought I would never get better, but with therapy and medication, I DID! No matter how much you feel or believe that you're stuck like this forever if you do the work I promise you will be ok. My HOCD and other OCD topics barely bother me ever anymore, even though that seemed impossible for a while. Please keep going, you deserve to live a good life.
Does anyone else have a fear of posting/commenting online and that could be mistakenly taken as offensive and in the future and you get canceled? or also a fear of stalkers digging up information from old posts? So in response I tend to delete most of my posts or comments a few minutes after I make them. Even if logically I don’t see anything that could be offensive or too much info. For example: This post, logically I don’t think there’s anything offensive, but I’m hesitant to post this and just want to delete it all from that fear of unintentionally offending and being canceled or it’s TMI and a stalker digs info up. After I post it I’ll just have this huge desire to delete it.
Theres this OCD thing I have where I have an obsession with my hair, it HAS to look a certain way and I'm constantly readoing it. And I get into this mindspace every couple months and decide to cut my hair but I'm just going at it like really cutting it like theres no tomorrow I even accidentally cut my finger with the scissors. I even remind myself that every time I cut my hair I cut it too short for my liking or just completely mess up my hair. But I forget that in a moment of dissociation and start cutting my hair. I literally can't stop I've done it 4 times in the past year and one time I couldn't stand the way it looked so much that I bought a hat and wore it for like 4 months straight every day and even sleeping in it.
I keep washing my hands again and again and again. I touch things and don't stop until it's perfect. I am confused about my sexuality. I rethink things that I have done and sometimes I have to force myself to stop thinking that something bad will happen to those I love. I tell myself to be positive but at the end of the day I'm still not able to fight it. I tell myself tomorrow I will be different. It will all stop. Next day there I am repeating things and the worst feeling is when it's pulling me towards it even though I'm trying hard to fight back. It's never enough until it's perfect.
Does anyone else here have ocd that is the fear of making mistakes? but not nessecarily scared of making the mistakes, but more of what other people might think, do or say about you because of that mistake? Like I don't mind making mistakes, I mean we're humans, we all do that. but what bothers me is when people bring up that mistake and makes me feel guilty for it. I've been a victim of narcicisstic abuse so my whole live I've been scared of disappointing ANYONE because of a thing that I didn't mean to do or regret doing. I don't ruminate on the mistake itself, but on the possibility of being in danger or being hurt because of the mistake. My fear focuses more on my fear of abusive people than on myself. Like each time i make a mistake, i think, "am I gonna be hurt/dissappointed again because of this?" Another example of mine is when I look a certain way, i think, "does that i mean I'm going to be verbally abused and belittled again because of that one stain on my clothes?"
Has anybody applied for disability for their OCD? I'm considering it, because it is almost impossible for me to handle being around people to work, and my the company I worked for just closed. What sort of documentation did they require? Were you approved? Did you have to file am appeal?
The best things that have helped me on my healing journey in no particular order: 1. Insight Timer (meditation app) 2. Yoga With Adriene (Free yoga on YouTube) 3. The Body Keeps The Score (book for people with PTSD) 4. What Every Therapist nEeds To Know About Anxiety Disorders (book) 5. Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts (book) 6. Thich Nhat Hanh (Zen Buddhist teacher) 7. The Imp Of the Mind (book) 8. Getting Control: Overcoming Your Obsessions and Compulsions (book)
Hello, I'm new here, I seriously can't keep going with perfectionism ocd. Everyday i start with my day 1 of recovery trying to do things to make my life better but when i reach day 2 or in rare cases i go till max day 4, i start getting thoughts and strong feelings that i didn't do day 1 "right" or didn't do a task "right" and I should start again to make it right. I can't even complete a week. What should i do now i have my university opening from this week and i don't know how will i study while battling these thoughts. How do i stop myself to starting over and over from day 1??
Feels like i keep Identifing with things that are either nonsensical or things I don't align with and when im confused i dont want others picking an identity for me. I also feel like im rushing to get somewhere too like im behind in my life, i have to let that go it isn't helping me at all its making me progressively worse. Im too latched onto my phone too keep getting distracted with tiktok and IG back to back.
It's been a tough few days but I want to commit to my recovery.. A few reminders in case anyone needs it: - Do what will feel best later(not giving into compulsions) and not what will feel best now(relieving the anxiety by doing compulsions - this will only feed the OCD). - Whenever the urge to do a compulsion feels to strong: choose to Delay it instead. Delay by 5 minutes...10...15 minutes...you might then feel you don't need to do it and you learn to tolerate longer periods of distress. - You don't need to analyze, solve, revisit this thought. You can handle the uncertainty. - Be kind and gentle with yourself. You can always start again anytime I believe in you Allie
A NOCD friend posted requests for how to start something and how not to get locked into perfectionism once started. This post is not an answer to those, at least not a magical thing that always works and doesn’t feel like pulling teeth. I’ve been thinking about using my planner/journal again. I’ve been planning it in my head. Now I’m “forcing” myself to actually write in it today. It doesn’t feel “right”. There is so much missing that “needs” to be addressed and filled. All of this makes me dread doing it. ** Writing this NOCD post might even be another stall tactic in disguise; however, posting about anything here always makes me feel more accountable. I know if I share it here I feel all of ya. Even when I don’t listen to myself/do it for myself, for everyone here, it’s more manageable. So I’m “forcing” that first journal post. I’m not turning it into an all night make-up post for the past 7 weeks I missed, though later, I may fill in what’s helpful and already accounted. ** I don’t feel “ready” for it. I don’t want to do it. But I’m going to. Maybe I should tell my OCD what I tell my dog when he sasses me. I remind him that I am more stubborn than he is. So I’ll now be more stubborn than my OCD. It may have taken days of sitting around thinking about it, but I’m doing it. No more just thinking. ** (Also doing this as an edit style rather than more “perfectly” inserting it—) I am also not waiting for September 1st! So now it’s also uneven! The reset button isn’t being pushed on another, predetermined beginning. But it’s still happening TONIGHT. May we all be more stubborn than our issues. 💪🏼💜
How do you know when you are making a decision because you want to vs because OCD want you to? I’ve been trying to notice the difference. I think when it is OCD making the decision, it feels urgent and like something I have to do “or else” and there is a lot of anxiety wrapped up in it. What do y’all think?
Something I’ve noticed recently is how primitive OCD can be. It’s basically a survival technique that our brains came up with after trauma, at least for me. Like for me it works out every single possible threat I could have. It’s helpful for me to think of it like this.
So I have a regular talk therapist and I have a NOCD therapist. My regular talk therapist triggers me a lot. I’ve made a lot of progress with her in the past but I’ve realize that she triggers me and says things that I don’t like. Too philosophical for my OCD. I’m wondering if I should get rid of her or not. My NOCD therapist really understands a lot with me. Any advice from people who understand this?
Why can I feel like I have OCD sometimes and then not? Throughout the day I’m constantly fidgety because I can’t sit still. Then I’ll notice something in the room and I HAVE to fix it. It’s so crazy, I tell myself “no it’s fine”, but I can’t stop thinking about it until I’ve done what needs to be done. Then I’m back to shaking my leg. Seriously it’s driving me nuts thinking about things that I shouldn’t need to fix.
I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD because I haven’t been able to see a therapist, but I’m almost certain I have it. I keep having intrusive thoughts and frequently feel guilty about a specific mistake a made in the past. I think that’s rumination? I’ve also noticed that I always seek reassurance whenever I feel guilty for that mistake. I know that I do it too much and shouldn’t stress out other people by always asking. I had a bad night’s sleep thinking about a mistake I made a few years ago and how I should be punished for it, so I think it may be OCD that’s making me feel excessively guilty. If I don’t seek reassurance, I tend to feel horrible. I know that I shouldn’t look for reassurance, but sitting with the feeling of intense guilt is so hard. I just wanted to share what I’ve been going through because no one close to me has OCD and I don’t think they fully understand what I’m going through. This app makes me feel like I’m not alone in this and I’m really glad this app exists.
I thought this would be a good place to ask this question but I'm very anxious to call a therapist on this app I know it s my anxiety I'm just worried about the awkwardness and if I make a fool of myself. I know I have OCD iv been diagnosed over 15 years ago and have had treatments in person but I'm worried a video call to a therapist may make me anxious. Has anyone felt this and should I just go ahead and make an appointment (im asking for reassurance i know sorry) or maybe do a chat first?This sounds so silly because this is what it's literally for but I'm hesitant to actually do it.
I'm incredibly anxious right now. I can't tell if im feeling guilty or if my perfectionism and need to constantly "tell on myself" is just making me feel guilty. How can I tell? I'm worried that if I was doing something bad, if I will not be of any value anymore and I'm scared that nobody will trust me. I'm also anxious because I probably over-explained myself and sought reassurance a few times that it might wrongly make me seem guilty... that is unless I'm guilty? I'm so confused and feeling helpless.
Staying home for long periods of time really makes me vulnerable to triggers. It makes all these thoughts come to my head about how much of a loser other people must think I am or feeling like I’m in no way control of what I do for some reason. It makes me feel depressed and anxious/ocd at the same time. It’s like I’m frozen at home with nothing to do. I remember my options and I don’t even want to do them. Then I feel LAZY. Like why?? You’d think sitting at home wouldn’t be this hard.
I am the greatest critic of my actions. Sometimes when I make a mistake i think that only i do this because I'm stupid. But sometimes i see other people do the same mistake and i realize I'm not the only one who makes mistake At work when i encounter a problem i keep telling myself your stupid. You are not smart like other people and i keep telling this to myself and this behavior makes me anxious. And make it harder to solve the problem. I always keep telling myself I'm stupid and dumb. I don't know what to do to be free of this voice
So... Typically if I do get out of bed, I just end up going to another one in the house and lying down there for the rest of the day doing whatever and not being productive (my motivation is very low too). Is there anything I can possibly to keep myself out of bed besides doing any type of compulsions? 👀
Hello Guys! I, decided to create this post to share that it's been a third week in a row I performed 0 Rituals!! I have been suffering with OCD for 9 years and before maximum one week I could stay with no rituals. I am so excited and happy and I am going to make it, I am going to continue staying without rituals and I am focused to completely recover from that. I just want to encourage each of you Guys, never give up, never quit, no matter how bad it is or how bad it gets, always keep faith, motivation, if you fail try again and again and again, because I have no doubt you can recover from it and your life can be beautiful as never before without OCD, without anxiety, fulfilled with happiness and joy. And yes it is possible!! No matter what you heard before but I am sure it is possible to fully recover from OCD! Wish you all best of luck and may success lead you in each battle you have. Keep moving, never give up! Thank you for everyone who read this and take care!
Lately I’ve been feeling “loss” at any life change. Like I’m overly sensitive when I have to do something like move to a new place or sell a car. It’s like I feel the loss that I will not be able to ever live and experience that place or thing again. This is just an example, but it seems everything is affecting me this way lately. Is this a symptom of depression?
I have this feeling with photos of myself if I don’t feel they’re 100% accurate, and the best way I can describe the feeling is like if you imagine you’re sending a message to someone and they only get half of it, and the whole message is important. And it’s like it might not matter to them but it matters to you that they get exactly what you meant to send them. Does that make sense to anyone?
Hey. So I am worried that what if I don’t actually have OCD and I’m actually a horrible person. This is because I have not yet been diagnosed by a doctor. HOWEVER I have struggled with ocd since I was little. Pretty much every type and it’s debilitating. I’m young so it’s very hard to talk to my parents about getting diagnosed. However everyone knows I struggle with ocd. It runs in my family and I have just about every type. I almost had to get out on medication when I was 7 years old because of how debilitating my intrusive thoughts were. However they improved and so I never got around to the doctor. Now after that I always suffered from checking OCD, perfectionism, and lots of other subtypes. then around 7th grade I have a HORRIBLE episode as I have developed HOCD, some POCD and well pretty much every other subtype. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Every waking minute was hell and I couldn’t do anything about it. This improved as it was a few years ago but not much. At least I can eat and somewhat be ok. however I still never got a diagnosis. I guess all I want to know is if I’m still valid? That this is real? Just because I didn’t get a diagnoses or on meds or in therapy (even though I desperately need to because it’s ruining my life.) I just want to know I’m not a horrible person for these awful thoughts
Anyone have any advice on excessive hand washing and cleaning? I have to wash my hands a certain amount of times after using the bathroom, worst part is I constantly have to start over again through fear I skipped a number it was counting wrong (despite knowing I didn’t) - this lasts HOURS. My hands never feel clean until I’ve spent 90 minutes washing and starting over, it’s exhausting. Can anyone relate/ suggest anything to help? Thank you!
Anyone out there that just flat out hates who they used to be as a person back in high school? I was such a stupid idiot at the time. Impulsive, mean to others, despised the opposite gender, addicted to porn, and didn't apply myself as much as I do now. I pretty much do none of those things now yet the shame still persists.
Haven't opened this app in weeks. It's probably been a month since. I've finally cut the very thing out of my life that has caused me so much pain the first place. And that thing is pornography. It's been 106 days since the last time I see it and I have no urge whatsoever to go back to it. Like at all. I've been practicing so much self discipline and boundary setting that I know now I'm pretty much better than that. But the thoughts don't stop. I hate that I keep thinking about the things I've seen. I keep thinking about the things it made me do as a teenager. I hate that I can't stop thinking of the people I might have hurt. I can't stop thinking of the escalation I had, the addiction, the depression that came from it, and how much I've been keeping this to myself for so long. Well, some of my good friends know but that's it really. I just hope it stops one day. I hate having to fear if I'm a Deviant or a p*** day after day. I just want my thinking process to go back to the way it was. It's hard to even give myself credit for things these days because I feel like it isn't earned.
✨ SHARE YOUR SMALL WINS ⬇️ Hey Warriors! What’s one small win you achieved today in your OCD treatment? It can be as small as getting out of bed (I know how HARD that is!) or doing something you enjoyed instead of doing a compulsion. I’ll start: 🥇 Multiple times today, instead of giving my intrusive thoughts attention, I moved on to what I was doing and stayed in the moment. Your turn! ✨ Comment below a small win of yours! ⬇️
If anyone has gone to an outpatient program for their OCD do you think it has helped? I’m considering my options as I am having a really difficult time right now. My day is full of intrusive thoughts and compulsions, and although I’m doing the most ERP I’ve ever done I feel like I’m fighting a uphill battle.
Hey Warriors! You’re doing so great, keep it up! Remember to accept uncertainty today and see what ACTUALLY happens… take the risk! (You’ll find out OCD is such a liar! Call it the goof it is! 😜) CHALLENGE FOR TODAY: Accept uncertainty about one obsession. Just one! Refuse to solve it, let the uncertainty be there, and engage in something you enjoy. Share your experience in the comments below! I will do the same! Love, Madison
Hi everyone! I'm new here. I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD yet but suffer from the majority of symptoms and types. I've been in therapy due to PTSD, depression, and anxiety but I feel like there's a part of me that I need to re-examine. I was sexually and mentally abused and abandoned as a child and I really believe that it has affected so many parts of my life even while I'm in therapy. After looking at the NOCD checklist of types of OCD and I suffer with most of them but didn't recognize it earlier in my life. I'm hoping that participating in this study will help me work through things and be on my way to living a more balanced life.
How do you avoid ruminating and constantly trying to “figure it out” when you actually need to make a decision? It’s hard to know how much it is okay to think about it, weigh both sides, try to find an answer, etc. versus when it becomes a compulsion to avoid the anxiety of making the “wrong” decision.
Hello everyone 👋 I have made radical progress in my OCD journey and have conquered maybe 80% of my obsessions! But in March, I came across a very bad flare that I haven’t been able to overcome yet. It really stinks to be feeling so good and so free from OCD, only to be feeling much much worse again! I feel lost and frustrated, like all my tools that worked so well for me before no longer work. I have been trying every day to apply the skills I know, but I keep doing some form of mental compulsion instead of simply being able to stop like I can for almost every other obsession. (I am with a NOCD therapist, by the way, but she is on vacation for a bit 😃) Has anyone else felt like this? Like all the skills you applied to your previous obsessions no longer help for a new one? How did you overcome it? I know OCD is the same no matter what hat it wears. That’s why it’s SO frustrating not to be able to apply the ERP skills that worked so well for me before! 😢 I feel very hopeless, which is doubly frustrating because before this spike, I was finally living my life again. 💔 I would love some advice (not reassurance though)! 💖
To all my fellow confessors: stop confessing today, right now. You and I both know it doesn’t make it any better. Other thoughts will pop up in their place. Other people don’t need to know every detail of things we feel like we did “wrong.” We are allowed to accept the fact that we don’t know what others think, move on, and enjoy our lives- because all human beings deserve that. Like if you can relate.