"Pure" OCD - Community

As someone who once couldn’t sleep because of their POCD hanging over them. It started over a year ago now. Yet lately I’ve noticed I actually have gotten better, whether slightly or significantly doesn’t matter. What matters is that I FEEL better. Some things I’d recommend people who are struggling is this: You have to focus on living day by day, and not focus on the missteps but rather the times AFTER the full step forward. You don’t lose progress in this sort of thing, though it can feel like that sometimes. Even now I’m feeling better than ever and yet the intrusive thoughts still persist, they just don’t last as long because I don’t give them importance. I’m also not terrified of sleeping anymore, though I admit my sleep schedule has been absolutely destroyed. Again, I’m making baby steps and as a community and app that I relied on for comfort and guidance for months, I just wanted to say that here. I also don’t have any therapy or medication, so for those who are struggling to get either, don’t worry it’s not the end of the line for you!

Really need to get over my fear of watching movies/ tv shows which include violence or scary music. I can’t even enjoy a normal documentary without being freaked out. Idk if this ties in with my harm OCD. I was literally just present when my ma was watching the marilyn monroe documentary and i was shitting bricks

Hi i just had my first NOCD session and i feel like she wasn’t sure if I had ocd or not. I have been diagnosed with it in the past but has this happened to anyone??

One thing that's really helped me is telling myself "its not happening because of you. It's happening to you." When you have ocd the intrusive thoughts and the things you obsess over are incredibly stressful and dark. It's hurting you. No one deserves this. No one. I imagine my lizard brain as a monster I have to deal with, rather than a part of who I am. It's like an abuser, and no one deserves the traumatic, gruesome, upsetting thoughts that come with ocd. If you had ocd as a young child like me (symptoms as a toddler, diagnosis at 7/8 yrs old), tell yourself "no child deserved to have those thoughts. Those were scary thoughts." In the past, evaluating my childhood was a compulsion. It still is a compulsion of mine, BUT I've been trying to see the hurt child in the picture (me). As a compulsion I told myself "what child would think of these things. What's wrong with me?" Now I say "No child should have to think these things. It hurt me and scared me." And through that, I've slowly gained more empathy for myself. I've begun to understand I am BEING hurt. No one is born naturally built to deal with the intensity of ocd. You deserve treatment. You need treatment. It's happening to you. It's being done TO YOU. Not because of you. Have empathy for yourself, understand you're being hurt by these thoughts. You are the victim/survivor of it. Whichever terms you prefer. Hug yourself, comfort yourself, understand that your thoughts scare you and hurt you, and it's not your fault

It's nearly impossible for me to enjoy things anymore without doubting it

The hard part about ocd is when your family does not want to believe that ocd is so serious and they constantly tell you about how over sensitive you are and make things worse.

It feels like it’s literally impossible to feel normal or good at all. I just want to know that I won’t do anything to harm anyone or myself and feel inner peace with that. But I keep getting this feeling that I don’t want to be here and it’s so annoying. Like I keep trying to visualize my life how I want it but I just get the feeling that I really don’t want that and that I won’t make thru ocd or want to. Like what the fuck are even these feelings? Can anyone relate ?

I have MAJOR problem going to sleep because of ruminating and fear. My OCD's gotten worse lately and I've been living in constant fear for maybe four days now. I constantly feel like I'm on the verge of panic attack. How to calm down at least for a night time 😢

I've had a bad ending w my ex, it is a long story and i've been together with my best friend for almost 4 years now but i kind of hold a grudge against my ex for what she's done for example isolating me from my friends and keeping me at home causing me to dropout in HS in my 2nd year, i've talked to her as friends before but it would turn out kind of passive aggressive and i was like why don't you just say sorry and be friends so you don't have the weight of this stupid grudge anymore, because she's the type to talk back on alot of people as well, i'm not perfect either i've had anger issues and whatever but what if i like her still what if i'm lying to my gf One thought of like seeinf her in person and being embarrassed that my ex is there makes me feel like what if i like her again and i know i don't, but i have a problem woth trying to impress people and grt validation from them and seem to don't know the difference with a good friend rs and a romantic one in some way i'm just used to being romantic so i'm just scared of connecting to people aaah

Anyone else feeling like no matter what they do they can never be a good person? I’ve been having so many intrusive thoughts like: “you’re this, you’re that, are you being a narcissist, a manipulator, a fake person, doing this or that and you’re gonna mess up in this or that and hurt that person’s feelings or someone else’s”. It hs been so exhausting becaude I feel like no matter how much I try being good for others I’m also believing I’m this awful person. Like, I definitely have my things and I have made and still do lots of mistakes, I have a lot of characteristics that are not so great but it’s so emphasised that I can’t handle it anymore, it’s so many accusations and I cant cope. I don’t want to go anywhere, I’m scared of doing things wrong and messing up my friendships and relationships, of being seen as this or that and I don’t even have the self esteem for that. It’s making me so sad, because I wish I could be all of these things that my thoughts are demanding, to be extremely good, but I just know how to give my best and trying the most but I can’t deal with this pressure.

Im in a really difficult place. I have had ROCD symptoms ever since dating my now husband. My doubts began to be about my love for him, is he the one, etc. When we got engaged and before that I was also filled with questions about what do I want with my life and fears of getting married keeping me from fulfilling/exploring my dreams. Fast forward and we have been married for 2 years. I still had those doubts but developed a fear of sex (had sex related ocd themes as a teenager) and this has made intimacy hard and put a strain on our relationship. We have been doing couples therapy for intimacy but it hasnt really helped. I am thinking I need ERP help, because even without physical intimacy, I am still filled with fears related to sex that I obsess over. The strain of all this and my intrusive thoughts have also led me to contemplate divorce. These intrusive thoughts have left me feeling depressed, loss of appetite, unable to sleep. Recently my husband expressed sadness about our lack of intimacy and my doubts about wanting to have kids (his big dream). It triggered even more anxiety and I kept thinking, should we just end this now? I have no energy to plan for kids and one of my obsessions is "do I really want kids? What if I dont?" I didnt dare say that though, I dont want to hurt him and I do love him, he is what I would want in a life partner. But I am struggling so much with my anxiety that its making it hard for me to function. How do I handle all of this when it feels so real and when there seem to be actual reasons for giving up on our relationship (fear of engaging in sex, not sure if I want kids). I would love to have the type of carefree life I see other couples have but I cant deal with all this. I feel stuck, dont want to do something I regret. My worst fear is hurting him. I have struggled to see all this as OCD since it overlaps with life things that feel so real. Wouldnt it make sense to call it quits if sex is problematic? But my thinking is obsessive and I have a history of OCD. Why do I keep feeling like giving up on us and how do I turn this around? Its hard.

This morning has been weird, i have just been ignoring my intrusive thoughts but it’s still not really working. AND i’m still scared that what if i don’t have ocd and i’m just insane. Trying to not do complusions IS HARD💔

Hi. Does anyone have any helpful tips for when your OCD urges you to ruminate and analyse an intrusive thought. I try to ignore the thoughts, but it feels disstresing and no matter what i distract myself with it’s always in the back of my mind bothering me?

Sometimes I feel like it’s better if I don’t talk at all or talk very little so that my brain won’t constantly call into question if I said or did something offensive/homophobic/transphobic/racist

I really need some confirmation. Is so called false attraction handled in the same way as we handle intrusive thoughts?

I’m watching Nathan Petersons video on OCD vs denial and when he talks about what denial is I’m getting intrusive thoughts of “ your totally doing what denial is” even though I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts about this for two years straight… plus I was getting intrusive thoughts when I heard the word straight and I was getting HOCD intrusive thoughts of “p3n15” before more intrusive thoughts of “your anxious of being straight” when being straight is all I want and desire…

has anyone else had this thought? i keep having the thought of what if one day my thoughts aren’t intrusive. not asking for reassurance just wondering

Not me making myself eat cookies a certain amount of times today because the number of times I ate the cookies would add up to a “bad number” with today’s date and I figured the number I got after eating the cookies a certain amount of times was “better” than the number I would get if I didn’t do it 😐

Feeling really sad:( i feel like i cant love myself. I keep comparing and putting myself down. Waiting for this person to text back when its been two months! Cant get a clue. Hes left before. This time idk if hes coming back. He said he didn’t know what he wanted and needed space but the last time i spoke to him he said he was happy and made no moves to have us repair things. When i tried to he said he felt like i was chasing and that he wasn’t ready. On his social media he seems to be getting closer with others (its a bit complicated) but all this to say… i feel lame. I want to just let go. Im still looking for a therapist but in the meantime id love to talk to others going through similar situations.

How do you deal with the anxiety that groinals cause? Its not even related to hocd anymore its just sexuality in general. I get scared that I'm going to get aroused when I don't want to which in turn makes me feel like I am and then I want to throw up. I can't eat because it makes me feel nauseous. This isn't really living. Its more just "dealing with it". :/ I'm not comfortable. It took me years to properly handle the idea of being attracted to women, but this is different. This is taboo sexual thoughts in general both about men, women, children, old people. I'm so exhausted.

Recently, I got high for the first time, and it was a terrible experience. Even after WEEKS I still have moments where I think I am high or am dissociating. It seems that my OCD picked up on the anxiety that I felt while I was high and tells me frequently that I am intoxicated. It sucks! I can’t even focus in school or do anything without my parents being there. I am old enough to be by myself but my OCD has gotten so bad after this event that I can’t leave my parents side. Does anyone know a mental compulsion or something to prevent this feeling. I am currently blanking out/feel high as I am typing this.

Idk if this will make sense but I constantly obsess over the fact that there are real organs and things inside me and it makes me feel sick and I cant deal with thinking about it because it grosses me out and I’m a squeamish person. I get so scared that this will never go away and I’ll forever be thinking about this. Multiple times a day I will remember I have organs inside me and then I have to do a compulsion to get the thought out of my head bcz i dont wanna think about it and idk what this is called or anything abt it????

Does anyone get scared that they may never get back to a normal life? Constantly fearing they've done something horrible or will, and then start to fear maybe they did do something and that triggered their OCD

Any advice as to how to deal with false attraction. It bothers me more than intrusive thoughts

I know they are just thoughts. But it feels real. It feels like I’m about to lose control of my arms and it feels like I want to. I do know they are thoughts but they become more than thoughts. Deep down I know it’s because I let them. But In the moment I cannot tell what is real and what is not. In the moment my arms tingle and my stomach drops and it feels like I’m on the edge of losing control. I hate this.

Just curious if anyone else has had a similar experience… But I’ve had different themes in the past that went away after a few weeks or months but my current theme has been here for over a year and I just don’t understand it. It then has me thinking that if it’s been here this long it must be real and maybe I was just repressing it and now this is my true self coming out.

Why do I feel fully convinced of my theme 😞

I feel like the OCD thoughts or images wouldn’t even be a big deal to me if there weren’t false feelings or urges or arousal attached to it. That’s what makes this so freakin hard. It just feels like you are truly becoming what your mind is saying you are. Does anyone else feel these feelings or urges that you want to do it but you know you don’t but it feels like you’re fighting against these emotions. It’s so terrifying that it feels like you’re fighting against your mind.

I can convince myself I have done, want to do or have done anything. Why is this ??

Is it possible that something so touching and sweet can cause a groinal response? I was playing with my infant cousin and he was laughing and cooing and I could feel my heart swelling because he’s just so sweet and cute. But I had a groinal response too. This also happens sometimes if my cat does something cute and my heart just can’t stand it and I squeal , I’ll get a groinal response. I try to ignore it but I’m scared it means something more. Does this happen to anyone else??

I believe that self confidence and self esteem are really important in ocd recovery and to prevent relapse , at least bad relapse (not talking about a bad day or so which is expected). Any good advice or sources on how to develop this and become more self assured ?

I think I have had OCD for my life, but it really got bad a year ago when I started to worry about it I was gay or not and many other things. I don’t want to go into all of it because that will probably make it worse for me in the long run, but after I had became less stressed about being gay, I started to become obsessed with focusing on swallowing, especially if people were talking about something bad. Then it moved to blinking and then focusing on thinking about thinking, but that’s when things got weird. When I became less stressed about that, there were things that I had read about that I really didn’t want to be obsessed about, and I think I started to get intrusive thoughts about thoughts that would reassure me about whatever it was. My brain basically tried to come up with a plan to begin obsessing about something that I didn’t want to. Now sometimes I feel like reassurance has turned into the intrusive thought, because I know it will make things worse. For example, if someone says the word “OCD” I get worried that hearing that will reassure me that I have OCD and that my other obsessions aren’t true. The problem is I feel like it is hard to describe, and I feel like it is so hard to describe that I won’t be able to explain it right or get treatment for it, and I’ll be stuck in a loop of reassurance. Whenever I’m calm, my mind tells me that that’s because I reassured myself, and sometimes I don’t know how to do ERP for this, or what the compulsion is. Also, sometimes there is something that happened in the past that I don’t want to talk about in therapy, that my mind will get stuck in my head, and I can’t do anything about it. I know this is confusing, but what should I do about this, and if a thought that is reassuring comes into my head, should I let it into my head or resist it? Thanks!

I constantly feel the alarm at the back of my mind, this tainted, guilty feeling, fear my ocd or distress and disgust will come back . I don’t want to feel like this for the rest of my life

can anxiety also make you believe things you didn’t do? my doctor tried to tell me that majority of it is anxiety but i am going to cbt therapy soon so idk. i’m back on my meds so hopefully it helps again.

I’ve been struggling with my ROCD again lately and it’s making me panic that I don’t wanna be with my fiancé. Of course the stress of that makes me snappy with him so it only makes things worse. idk what to do about it I try my erp it just seems like it keeps budding back up. Sometimes I wish I had a normal brain. Just having such a hard time lately. I’ll be happy one minute then I get triggered and when it’s about him it sticks..

Has anyone else ever thought they did something bad but they couldn't remember? Even if it was recent? And you feel really guilty because you just assumed you did? If so, how do you cope?

It's so weird how my brain will convince me that I'm a pedo when I'm obsessed with making sure people are 18+ and I have no desire to seek children out but somehow that's not good enough for my brain. Somehow I'm lying to myself and it's all going to come crashing down one day? Its so weird the more I think about it, the less it makes sense but somehow I convince myself this is all a elaborate trick on myself? Like the logic of my paranoia is so weird but I can't shake it. I hate this. I was doing so well for months, then bam get triggered and I feel like I've regressed months.

Yes I will still do some checks here and there but my anxiety is nothing like it was before. If anyone needs help let me know :)

How do you cope with guilt when your mind tricks you into thinking you did something wrong/did when you didn't but your mind makes you believe you did? And how do you cope with any kind of OCD guilt? How do I stop hyperfocusing on it?

Omfg I feel like some liar hypocrite bad person, like I’ve been portraying this image that I’m so good and accepting and xyz that it even gets to a point where I say something and my brain butts in and goes “Shut up stop trying to make yourself look like you support this cause/movement or are respectful to people of different races/cultures/sexualities/gender identities.” It’s really bringing me down. Makes me feel as though I need to go confess or something so that people don’t get the wrong idea that I’m a good person and not bigoted or prejudiced. Then on top of that I’m worried having this thought is like offensive in of itself because it looks like I’m making this all about me and makes me even more convinced I’m some liar hypocrite bad person.

i really want to delete tik tok so bad because there are times when i get 3 posts in a row about toxic relationships. these send me into a spiral especially when i’m afraid these posts in a row are a “sign”. i have a friend that has been in a terrible relationship before and she even tells me my relationship isn’t bad. but tik tok always sends me spiraling afraid that my relationship is secretly awful and toxic or ab*sive in any way

Can your OCD make you feel like you did the thing you were fearing when you do something that feels close to your obsession?

You all can do it. I'm 17 and I'm doin' it. I've suffered and I'm doin' it. Doesn't matter what ocd you have. You can do it. Even hurricanes run out of rain.

Scares me..it makes me focus on the only thing that could make my fears come true, cause when you focus on a fear for too long, you make it happen. You make the chances higher just by fixating on it, how am I supposed to pull away from this constant torture and pain, when all I can think about is my worries and fears, I mean honestly how hard is it to find someone who specializes in OCD? Help?!

anyone obsessed over if they believe an irrational thought? im not scared of the thought, im scared that i believe it’s true. like i have the thought ‘your boyfriend is related to you’ and i know he’s not, but i feel like i believe it. i don’t want to believe it because i know it’s not true. i don’t want to start seeing him as family because i know he’s not. but i feel like i am and it scares me

I am currently plagued by snobbish intrusive thoughts that are sometimes also racist. I find myself avoiding certain types of people in case it triggers these thoughts, but then I ruminate about this and wonder whether I’m just avoiding these people because I’m actually a snob. Has anyone else ever had these sorts of obsessions? Is it OCD?

Hi, im kinda new here and i want it to know if something like "being scared that somebody would or did rape you" it's a thing in ocd. I sometimes find myself overthinking a situation about somebody touching my arm for example, and then as i star thinking about it, it becomes these really mixed up memory, where i don't know if they actually touch inappropriately and i just stand there or what happened

Now it's "girlfriend". I hate it. I like my friend BUT NOT IN THIS WAY (I used to think I am but No, it was something else, not "romantic love"). I'm so uncomfortable!

My mother is very aware of my severe pure OCD and tries her best to be supportive, even when it gets really bad. I find comfort in sharing with my mother when I’m having an especially bad day, like today, where my OCD just won’t stop. I had a breakdown because I was exhausted of doing all these compulsions to try to relieve it, and I just broke down crying during our video call. I just wasn’t feeling well. My mother STARTED FILMING ME while I was crying instead of listening to a word I was saying. Mind you, I don’t ever share about my OCD with anyone else. She said she was filming me so I could show it to a doctor once I start therapy so they will “understand the severity of my case.” I felt extremely violated. I understand why my breakdown might scare my mom who wants the best for me, but I felt very embarrassed. I feel like she sees me as this sick person, she didn’t even think twice about grabbing a second phone and start recording our private call. Am I being irrational for being upset at this? I don’t feel safe sharing anything with her anymore. And I don’t need to be reminded of the severity of my case, I am well aware.

I wonder how severe my ocd is compared to other people, is this how bad it is for most people with ocd? I would estimate i have about 200 compulsions, at least 50 that I must do every day and many repeatedly. Some of the bad days I spend hours doing them, it takes up so much time. I have to do these multiple minute long rituals and recitations before i get out of bed or brush my teeth or go to sleep. I am so tired, i can’t just stop. It feels like life or death and I’m just collecting more and more things I have to do to feel safe every day. I hope it isn’t this bad for everyone.

I just want someone to give me some kind of advice please 😭😭😭 it’s making me feel like I’m not anxious of the thoughts anymore and making me think I’ve turned 😭😭😭

i hate it so much i want to just be the old me again

as soon as i was able to identify my false memory as just an intrusive thought my ocd goes “are you sure about that?” and now im back at square one

I was manipulated into experimenting with my friend when I was 14 or younger… he was constantly telling me that what we were doing wasn’t homosexual or wrong at all… he was my friend so I believed him… it only lasted for a couple seconds because I was honestly shaken up by it and I nearly puked… Now my HOCD is telling me that i wanted it and that im in denial when even mentioning this story gets me anxious… I don’t ever want to be homosexual or bisexual in any way shape or form… 😞😞😞

My HOCD is telling me that I’ve been fantasizing about guys explicit body parts this entire time when I’ve been trying so so so incredibly hard to fantasize about beautiful girls in an explicit way…

It's a line from the song "Cry Baby" (Melanie Martinez) I kinda feel that way. I'll explain. When people say "listen to your heart" they often say about love when your heart tries to say your brain that you love person, but brain repulses it. But with OCD your heart tells that you DON'T, but thoughts in your head ("brain") keep telling you that you are. Like your brain replaced with a heart.

i have suffered with all different themes of ocd but false memory ocd has to be the worst one. the thing is i haven’t really been officially diagnosed with ocd but i have all the symptoms. i have struggled with false memory ocd since 2016. it all started when i thought i wrote stuff bad on my homework cussing the teachers out and i had to get up and check multiple times in the middle of class to make sure i didn’t write anything bad. even after i checked all those times i still thought i wrote something bad on my homework. the thoughts felt so real but they weren’t. i obviously ended up not saying anything bad on my homework but my head made me believe i did. i continued to do this from 7th-10th grade. in 2017 i got a false memory of me doing a horrific thing to my baby cousin when i changed his diaper back in 2015. i was 12 at the time when i changed his diaper. i remember changing his diaper but my mind made me believe i did something sinister to him. when i first got this thought i was like “wait did i do this?” and i worried about it for a few days but then when i realized i didn’t do it i stopped worrying. i relapsed over this false memory back in january of this year. it popped back up in my head after 5 years of not worrying about it. this time though i can’t actually remember if i did this or not since it was so long ago. im 19 now and since everything was so long ago i can’t remember something from 7 years ago and im almost fully convinced i did this because this seems more real than anything. maybe it’s because i ruminated on it. i was on zoloft and it helped me identify it as a false memory but now since im off of it im worried that it just took my anxiety away from the memory and that it’s actually real and not a false memory. this honestly isn’t the only false memory im getting though. im getting several more false memories about me doing sinister things to my younger family members when i was a younger teenager. these all seem incredibly real and i don’t know what to do. i been thinking about ending my life for the past 2 months now. i feel guilty and fear that im in denial. nocd doesn’t take my insurance for therapy and im scared to go to therapy near me because im scared the therapist will actually think i have done these things and call the police on me. im going back to my doctor on the 14th to get back on my medication. i just feel so alone and feel like i deserve absolutely nothing.

I'm in a really bad place, I won't lie. I'm wondering if this is really OCD, or if I'm just lying to myself. Does it matter either way, if I'm just going to be miserable all the time? I wish I could have a life free of pain, but I think this is just what life looks like for me now, and maybe forever. I'm so tired.

Just stop trying to figure it out. Stop now. You will never find an answer, you will never win against the illogical evidence ocd gives you. You think you swim in the sea by doing this but all you do is wander in the limited space of a pool. But you can't see that and you'll never manage to see it, unless you become willing to let it go and embrace uncertainty.

OCD is soooooooo convincing! I’ve found myself in situations where I’ve been checking if I really want to do sexual things with children (because I have POCD) and every time I think about it to check it always feel so real and that I like it!! It could convince you the sky is green I swear!

how do i make heavy derealization less severe?

i feel like i am incapable of saying things that my brain deem to be be “right” at the moment. every text or conversation i have i feel this constant fear that i have said something “wrong”

Does anyone have a hard time keeping eye contact in social interactions without looking at someone or people inappro​pri​ately? I guess its called starring/periph​er​al ocd

Why have I had these horrible thoughts, feelings, and urges? Why have they caused me so much guilt? In my mind, I keep thinking that if I keep having all of this 24/7, it must mean something! Which is causing me more anxiety. I hate this.

I feel so weird. OCD has made me doubt everything, mostly myself. I don’t feel like myself anymore. I don’t know who I am. All I do is wake up, deal with intrusive thoughts, work, go home to sleep and repeat. I’ve been dealing with this for such a long time that I don’t get the strong anxiety anymore. It has just switched up to a weird feeling about myself, it’s literally a physical feeling, I can’t describe it but I and everything just feels so extremely weird. I don’t know if i will ever be happy again.

What can I pray for you specifically? Let me know and I’ll do so tonight until I fall asleep. Will then reply in the morning! God bless! Paul

So when I was younger I wanna say between 12-15 (there’s no way for me to be sure, to clarify I am 21 now), I made a mistake. I was at someone’s house watching a movie and their little sister was always close with me and when we were watching she cuddled up with me and it was fine. At some point my hand was like between her thighs and I can’t remember but I feel like I thought about it or may have moved my hand closer to her private area and I just can’t seem to remember how far or if I did or what and it is honestly killing me now. At the time I was aware what I was doing, but I didn’t know how that could hurt or effect someone. Nothing changed after the event to indicate she was uncomfortable or anything but I feel so guilty as if I took advantage of a situation despite my age and lack of understanding of the seriousness. Recent events in my life brought up the memory and I can’t help but to feel terrible and I replay that memory every 5 minutes in my mind wishing it never happened and feeling like a sick awful person. I want to accept what I did and forgive myself but also recognize it was wrong. I know this is a little on the stronger more questionable side of things, and I don’t want anyone to subject anyone to this but I honestly don’t know where else to go. I am trying to pursue clarity or at least self forgiveness for an event that probably happened 8 years ago, but am currently struggling. To all I hope you all can find clarity in what you’re going through, and find a way out of OCD controlling your life.

can i please talk to someone with pocd? i’m really confused and bothered i don’t know. i’m scared that i might not care about something bad.

I am always ruminating about What I am thinking and feeling. It prevents me of conecting with The environment, be it activities I have to do or People I should interact. I end um doing What I should but I feel souless, without being able to fully enjoy things naturally. Is this actually ocd?

I keep getting intrusive thoughts of homophobic slurs… not only do I not want this for moral reasons (not being homophobic) but also because I’ve read that homophobic people are secretly in denial or that they have internalized homophobia… I don’t ever want to be homophobic or homosexual or bisexual or a P or anything my subtypes are telling me 😞😞😞

My life is good, but i Want to feel all things and be grateful to be incontrol of my life. I think being positive and confident is important, but without knowing / feeling it i cant achieve it. So I do these mental compulsion to get right feeling to be normal , perfect. But like all the compulsions it goes in circle and circle. Not doing it I feel unhappy, frustrated and life goes out of control even tho I know I should not. I don’t want to make these compulsions. I feel so stupid.

Anyone struggle with anger towards loved ones in your life? I find that a friend or family member can easily make me a little annoyed but then my mind goes to extremes. I tell myself that I HAVE to bring up the issue to them or else I’ll never ever be able to let go of the anger, even if it was just a slight offense. This never happens with strangers though.

Why does ocd attack the things that matter most to us

Is anyone else triggered by strong opinions and people who have black/white thinking? I feel like it’s because it triggers my moral scrupulosity. Anyone else relate or know why? How do you deal with flares?

How do I get out of the mindset of "intrusive thoughts= bad day" and "less/no intrusive thoughts= good day"? Like I don't want the amount of thoughts to determine if I have a "good" day or "bad" day

I have realized I will probably live forever having these intrusive thoughts and I can only manage the way I react and the attention I pay to them. Living with Rocd is something I have come to terms with and every day I just try to manage it in a possible way. The worst days though are those which are supposed to be cool and peaceful for most people such as Sundays, holidays, trips or just some days I don't have many things to do. I really don't know why it attacks me the most during these days but it is maybe because my mind wants to convince me that I just can't feel free and calm and I MUST feel anxious and terrified by Rocd. Ocd in general wants to keep us going in the same cycle, doing the same things, feeling the same fear. Why do we have to live like that?? It seems like a never ending fight...I know how it goes but I just can't accept that it will torture me for maybe the rest of my life...I wish I didn't have it in the first place but that's my destiny which I am sad to accept...

The intrusive thoughts are starting to bother me less. But what’s killing me are the intrusive feelings. Why does it FEEL like I want to or need to do these horrible things? Why do I get these feelings? Thoughts are one thing because thoughts can be random. But why are the feelings and urges happening? It doesn’t make sense.

I’m coming to the end of my final year at university and have come to the realisation that I spent a lot of it worried about anxiety and ocd themes. Don’t get me wrong I’m still on the way out of it, but even just a few weeks dedicated to stopping compulsions and ‘figuring it out’ has lifted a veil and I feel like I’ve missed out so much of the outside world. This is time I’ll never get back - I’m sad to leave education, something I love and value highly. Please, please - push yourself so hard to stop trying to figure it out and get yourself back into the world and your life. There’s so much out there and you will look back and regret this lost time.

It doesn’t feel like a thought feeling or urge. Every time I’m alone, touching or near someone. I have this “feeling” that never goes away to hurt her. No intrusive thought to start it. Like I just always have this feeling to hurt her my dog or anyone in my family. It feels uncontrollable and like I want to do it.

Anyone else think of the past and create all of these horrible what ifs and then dwell? Even though you have no evidence or memories. Just the fact that what if I did “this” and then get worried.

Can anyone talk about there experience with Prozac and pure harm OCD I started mine today and want to know what I should be expecting ! I have like serve harm ocd. It’s at a very bad point right now.

One thing I always seem to do is force my thoughts to test how I react to them. However every single time I’m doing it, I always end up liking the thoughts instead of feeling disgusted and I can someone times even get a groinal response. I suffer from POCD so lots of these thoughts will involve me focusing myself to think of sexual situations with children to check if I like them or not but I always end up so liking them and I hate that!! Is this common?!

Anyone else feel like their brain is mush. Like you feel like your not even sure how to cope with the thought that scares you anymore or talk yourself out of it. Sometimes I’m afraid I’m going to lose sense of reality.

Does anyone ever have a thought about doing something or you have a scary thought that you fear of becoming true. And then all of a sudden your ocd digs deeper and you start to think well what if all that did happen and now what I’m actually experiencing isn’t reality? Sounds crazy I know. But that’s how far my ocd digs.

Crazy how I’m worried about being a Koreaboo and every single “Am I a Koreaboo” quiz I took said I wasn’t one and yet my brain goes “What if you made your answers up to make it look like you’re not a Koreaboo but really you are”

We will all regain our lives from OCD.

This is how I've found erp and ocd to work. So, say I want to do a compulsion, let's say ruminating on something someone said to me for example: Someone said "you're so defensive now, I don't like it at all" If I engage with this memory, I get thoughts surrounding it which stresses me out. During this process I believe thoughts like "I need to stop being defensive or they will leave me. I'm a bad person and I'm always defensive." See here I've created a story, based on black and white thinking as the anxiety turned off the part that rules the critical thinking skills in the brain. Ocd gives us these intrusive and anxiety provoking thoughts. It pokes at us until it gets a reaction. If our reaction instead is calm, it doesn't provoke us anymore. So, the erp around this would be noticing what's going on and sitting with the thoughts "maybe I am defensive all the time, and maybe they will leave me" (calm and collected reaction) the anxiety might spike again, then try again. It will be okay, it is safe. Eventually the anxiety passes! After going through the anxiety I am on the other side of it. And as always, after erp, I can now clearly see how ridiculous my thoughts were, due to my critical thinking skills now being back, (since the anxiety is better.) This is how I get by! I hope it helps someone.

I'm starting to believe I have had SOOCD since childhood. I remember having thoughts since as early as 7 that felt bad and wrong and made me sad and worried. Thoughts of being bisexual or lesbian still make me so unhappy and uncomfortable, but they also feel so deeply ingrained in me that I have a hard time knowing what my sexuality is. I felt forced to accept the fact that I was bisexual when I was an adult, even though it made me sad, but is that even true? Is dealing with this since childhood really just denial? Am I just gay? Or is ALL of it a lie and I'm straight? Maybe I'm asexual, and am not attracted to anyone? I can't sort it out in my head, my heart is breaking- my wonderful fiance has been so careful and kind as I process what is going on. Now the idea of having sex or attraction to ANYONE of any gender makes me panic and cry. He is so patient, but he doesn't deserve this, he deserves better than my panic attacks and doubt. Has anyone else had a theme since childhood? How have you sorted what IS real from what is NOT real, now that you know you have OCD?

What should I do if my thoughts feel really real? Like idek anymore and that scares me. Today is just an awful day.

i was at a party yesterday with my boyfriend and i kept getting the thought ‘what if you guys are related and don’t know it’ and i got really scared. i kept telling myself ‘he’s not he’s not he’s not’ i tried to act natural and act the way i always do with him but i kept having the thoughts. i was scared i’d loose feelings for him. but whenever i did anything with him i was scared that if i was okay acting like that with him, i’d be okay acting like that with actual family. i have a kinda of existential ocd especially around incest. my mind always says that if i don’t have a definite reason for why somethings wrong i’ll do it. for incest my minds always like ‘what’s so bad about incest, it’s not hurting anyone’ and other things and it scares me so much. i don’t want to stop caring that incest is gross and wrong. i’m scared because i don’t know if i still care about incest, i want to go out with my family to see, but i’m too scared i’ll do something bad. i don’t know what to do

I have been straight all my life I seen this thing on the internet saying that people can get wrong think they are straight all their life and then wrong and was gay the thing is I never thought about this topic before ever the thing is I have autism as well so I take this literally that I can turn homosexual I don’t think their is anything wrong with it but it’s not the life I want at all I was happy before all this happened

when i do things for other people to make them happy my OCD tells me that i’m doing it for my own satisfaction (which is bad) or because i’m a psychopath with an agenda :/

I was doing okay until yesterday, I was thinking and then the thought felt so mine like I really mean it for real, and it hit me so different that I just want to die. I feel cold inside my heart, help 💔

Does your HOCD ever make you feel like your anxious of “being straight” when being straight is all you ever want and cherish? Does it give you sudden thoughts that come in while a thought is already in your mind? Does your HOCD suddenly give you thoughts you like that your body treats as intrusive because it was a sudden thought in your head?

So, right now I'm dealing with obsessing about a thought that I had been dealing with but now can't remember what it was about and my mind wants to figure it out but I know if I do that then I won't be able to stop the mental compulsions.. this is crazy and ocd sucks andis not fair.

Okay so how the f do one stop ruminating? I’m literally doing it automatically

Does anyone else experience that your thoughts get more intense and worse when you get home from work/school etc? Like when im working im kinda distracted but as soon as I get home the ocd brain wakes up and terrorize me

Please help! I have a different kind of relationship ocd. I obsess over people whether i am in a relationship with them or not and do magical thinking compulsions surrounding them (its people who i believe thru interactions that may be attracted to me tho). I lose all sight of my dignity and self esteem and become insecure. Now there was someone who i was actually romantic with at one point. When we were bad (and he left in the end) my ocd and self esteem were terrible. I lost like 25 pounds, throw up, nightmares, compulsions, always upset, couldn’t hang with friends. I had to takw a year off of school. That was a year and so ago. I got better was starting to get my ocd under control and he came back. I told myself I wouldn’t enter a romantic space with him but i guess he initiated and i reciprocated wholeheartedly. Anyways after two months we called it quits again. I know its an unhealthy relationship and i need to stop obsessing because im losing my weight again and loss the desire to eat, sad all the time, and obsess over him. I just dont know how. Im afraid of losing him but he’s already left. :( i keep thinking he left because I wasn’t attractive enough to him since he saw me without any makeup and filter w/ bonnet for the first time but he said that I genuinely made him upset through an argument and its the most upset hes ever been while knowing me. I want to block him because thats the only way i feel like i don’t obsess. Anyway it’s been a month since we haven’t talked and now he’s doing things we said wed do together and waited for each for (1 1/2 years of waiting) alone.

I'm constantly scared that none of my feelings and attractions towards the same gender are real, and that they're just OCD, or even me forcing it

I’ve had Themes for 15 years now , Started with HOCD where I thought I might be gay because I had intrusive thought over 1 of my mates , which ocd was very new to me so I asked for reassurance and Researched and tested myself for months on end then I found articles about HOCD went to my GP who diagnosed me with OCD and put me on SSRI’s then it became POCD then it became Harm OCD then Health OCD then Suicidal OCD then POCD again and now it’s Death OCD/POCD/Harm OCD, I’m always second guessing myself even when I was in high school I’d get intrusive thoughts but I kinda just shook em away , if my nephew is getting changed I have to look away