- Username
- Stormyweather2023
- Date posted
- 10m ago
- Order & Symmetry OCD
- Existential OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Religion & Spirituality OCD
I’m taking it day by day. I recently put in my two weeks notice and have left a toxic workplace. It’s been hard on me because this has happened so many times. I’ve been working since I was in middle school, cleaning hospitals, sleep centers, etc with my mom. And at 16 I got my first real, legal job lol. And it’s been rough, employers can be toxic or the job just isn’t set up with the tools to succeed. This last job I put my all into and like most jobs I’ve had I wasn’t trained, but I persevered and owned it. I had to leave from cruelty and just not setting me up to succeed but fail. I could take the difficulty, but I couldn’t handle the disrespect. I actually really conquered some of my ocd there and used some of it to my advantage with organization and starting up new ways to help the team, as well as actually speaking up for myself and holding a small meeting. It was incredibly difficult to understand whether I was right or wrong, but I followed my heart. Even with conquering those small things like speaking up, I was still left unheard by the people who could change the environment. I’ve struggled quite a bit since then with feeling like I made the right decisions or not. My mental health comes first, but I need money to eat. It can become so discouraging that you’ve got to work to live and these places don’t have to treat you like a person… it would be a lot to go into it. But I’m proud of myself, although I’ve become depressed and have lost myself in my head a bit. I’m coming out of it quicker than ever, and honestly that’s because God never stopped believing in me. God has helped, and my ocd really messes with my relationship with God a lot. I won’t quit, and I won’t give in. I believe in myself. I’m proud because through the pain I’ve still managed to keep up with the house and my laundry and myself pretty well. Today wasn’t that bad and that gives me hope. I’ve recently been working on my breathing too, when things get overwhelming I take deep breaths for 60 seconds. It helps settle me and my heartbeat. I know that my ocd is gonna fight me thru getting my next job. Tons of reasonable and unreasonable thoughts. I’ve got to try and I’ve got to let go of what could or could not happen and be myself. I’m a child of the most high God and if He is for me then who can be against me? I’ve done nothing wrong, and I’m a great worker. People have seen that and people will see that again. I can do this, if I believe and try ! I believe in you !