It feels like after a few weeks of getting progressively better I have taken a complete nosedive and am now back to where I started. I'm scared to be home alone, to go out in public, I feel very paralyzed by my thoughts, and it seems the thoughts just keep coming every hour and just get worse and worse. It makes me question every single thing that I thought I knew about a situation sometimes immediately after and it is absolutely terrifying to live with.
"Pure" OCD - Community
When you’re hit very low, to the floor with your OCD. What do you do, any small step that can try help you get out of the pit. How do you gain confidence to move forward or get better. Any small tip or first step to try & take? Just feels like I don’t even know what thoughts are real in my head. What thoughts I listen to or let go. Causing so much paralysis & pain & don’t know where to go or what step to take to even gain a slice of relief.
I hate that my ocd makes me literally feel like my husband is going to harm our children the way I was harmed. I literally listen so closely when he’s in a room with them, and my brain makes me think I’m hearing something happening! Of course when I go check, everything is fine. But this is exhausting and It’s terrifying.
My rocd is kicking in pretty strong telling me not to trust my boyfriend. Some girl from his class was helping him with something for an exam but I’m overthinking it and thinking it could be something more even though it’s not. So frustrating when your head starts to create all these scenarios and then trying to do ERP with it.
One thing that I have learned / learning throughout this journey is that my thoughts / feelings do not control my actions. I get to decide what I want for myself and future even with all the doubts , self taunting and the uncertainty. It’s been long but I’m going to see a breakthrough and I’m gonna heal from this .
Did anyone experiment with CBD oils for their treatment? I was on SSRI's for a year, decided to quite because it didn't seem to do much (and I had a suspicion that the SSRI in question was making some parts of OCD worse for me, which I now believe to be true). My family bought some CBD infused honey and after 3 days of using it the effects seem much better for OCD treatment than the SSRI's I was taking. Of course, we didn't experiment with different types of SSRI's which might have been a better fit for me so for anyone reading this, don't quit your meds straight away. Still, the CBD honey allows me to do exposures which I couldn't do before without interfering in my experience of the anxiety, it just feels like I'm more calm overall better emotionally balanced, ready to tackle my problems. Any experiences?
I went to my cousin's home yesterday and he has a two year old daughter. She's really cute and while I was there we played a lot and nothing bad happened. The whole day I was constantly getting really bad images in my mind and I was constantly checking if I'm getting a groinal. There was a moment while playing when I felt this sudden urge to do something inappropriate and I got scared . Being so scared brought me relief for a while but later I started feeling less scared and now I can't sleep thinking " what if I acted on that urge'. A part of me knows I would never do that but I'm so messed up right now . And then I start thinking ' what if it's not pocd ? ' ughhhh
I’m scared. I feel like I’m going to start hallucinating and hearing things, and I fear if I’m becoming insane. I’ve been repeating reassurance things all. day. long. Im mentally exhausted and I’m scared. I feel like my mind is now becoming blank and it’s hard to even make myself mentally comfortable. I just feel numb now.
thoughts of events from the past come back to me again and again as if they were real now... always the same ones. In some cases I am afraid of something that I don't remember if it happened but my mind has made it so real that now I doubt it. Any advice? Thank you!!
The amount of se*ual thoughts and feelings i get all day long towards same sex is not possible with hocd. Its like im on the verge of giving in and doing it and once I do it will all be over. I had sexual thoughts towards girls too quite alot, actually i cant remember my life before ocd clearly anymore but i do remember I never felt anxiety fantasizing about women but im afraid that attraction/lust towards women wasnt real and enough for me to have been straight. Wish i could talk to someone. Theres so much bottled up inside. Ughhh
I’m really struggling with health ocd. I I have pelvic floor dysfunction. I obsess over my pelvic floor and what could or may happen to my pelvic floor. I deal with the what ifs constantly. Google is my biggest enemy. I can spend two or three hours at a time researching and googling symptoms, causes and prognosis for my pelvic floor problems.I also obsess over bodily sensations , especially on my pelvic floor. I freak out if something feels “different”. I call my doctors and schedule appointments constantly and I’ve been to the emergency room four times in four months. I’m a disaster and my life has been stolen by ocd.
I'm so certain I hurt someone I care about horribly in the past. I have vivid memories. They always tell me and everyone who asks when I confess that I've never hurt them, but im constantly hyperaware of anything that could be a sign and expect to arrested every second of the day, and fear that I've ruined my family
Does anyone else struggle with intrusive thoughts about their ex? It’s caused me to question my current relationship bc i can’t get my stupid ex out of my mind. It’s making me feel like i shouldn’t be with my current boyfriend especially if my ex keeps popping into my head. I feel so bad bc it wasnt always that bad. I used to be able to control them bc i loved my bf so much but now it’s making me question everything. I keep telling myself “he’s your ex for a reason” but my mind hasn’t ever allowed me to fully get rid of the thoughts of him completely. I feel like I’m stuck in the past. I guess bc our bond was so strong but it just didn’t workout in the end. I wish i knew how to get rid of the them all together so it won’t continue to ruin my relationship with my current boyfriend. He is so amazing and i don’t want to lose him to the thoughts. I chose him over my ex when he tried getting back together with me for a reason. I need help 😞
My ocd has always been active in my life, constant worry and obsessing and checking compulsions and I mean about literally everything. Before I didn’t know it was ocd I just thought to myself that I’m Just a super worrier lol I thought it was normal to just worry and expect the worse. My brain literally expects the worse and I’m so negative, hardly positive about situations I always feel something is going to go wrong and I feel like I have to check certain things to make sure I didn’t mess up or cause harm and if I think positive that the bad thing will happen. I didn’t know I had ocd until I had sexual orientation doubts even tho knew I was straight and comfortable with that, I completely felt the horrible feeling after one thought… what if I was gay. I remember the time and place when I had that thought and my life changed after that, for two years I struggled with trying to figure what was going on, constant anxiety doubt and unwanted feelings. Starting to believe I was gay even tho I told myself if I was gay I’d be gay but I’m not, just didn’t even make sense to my brain, literally nothing did. I’m not the manliest man either so anything that I did that was considered Feminine killed me. I was so tangled in this that when my friends joked about gay stuff I felt like I was dying. Even if someone said “your gay” as a joke I think to myself “oh see, they see it and your just in denial” it got so bad I broke down a few times and consider ending it but I got the hope to keep going and found out about ocd and I didn’t get help right then I just lived with the uncertainty and I did my absolute best to just trust myself and I don’t remember when exactly but I felt better I got a grip on myself and gay stuff didn’t bother me none I even laugh at it now because it was so silly but it almost killed me. Unfortunately Ocd just doesn’t go away and I’m now dealing with a heavy set of ocd. And knowing you have ocd, that will become a doubt, so even tho I have some tools on how to tackle this, ocd will find a way to fight hard. Im here now to get the help I’ve always needed because when Ocd came back I had a feeling it was Ocd but the doubt will make you give in and try to fight with your thoughts. Trying to gain certainty will make you less certain. My ocd topic this time revolves around harm. And ocd will attack you where it gonna hurt the most, you will doubt everything. Thanks to NOCD I’m able to finally get the right help I need to really put my foot down on ocd.
TW TW: SOCD:::: Does anyone have intrusive thoughts without the anxiety. Like the intrusive thoughts turn comforting? At first I’ll begin with an obsession about giving myself an autopsy and obsess over visuals and senses. (I tried to use the potentially least triggering obsession I’ve had for a reason) I’ll feel ashamed and alone and anxious. It will consume my life causing me to space out during classes or work to think of these obsessions. When I come back to reality, I always got super anxious that someone could read my thoughts or somehow someone would figure out what i was thinking about. After a while, the obsession turns from anxiety provoking to comforting. Like when I am stressed out from life I turn to these obsessions to feel comfort. Does anyone else feel this way?
A few years ago I had a thought that I would rape my friends dad who passed away when we were really young. I've felt like a horrible person ever since and have not felt like myself in what seems like forever. I feel the need to tell this friend of mine out of the feeling of its the right thing to do. I feel like all the tools i've learned in therapy will only help with future obsessions, and not this one since it's already been in my brain for years. infact everything i have learned is not helping with this obsession. has anyone felt like this recently?
I’m at the very beginning of my journey. I never knew i could relate to something so much after learning about ocd. In my case, one of the main ones i struggle with is ROCD. I’ve done so much thinking and checking my feelings that I’m starting to wonder if this is ROCD or not. Is it normal to question that? I’m just so tired of feeling this horrifying amount of anxiety. It becomes so much worse when my partner is away and i never imagined to feel this way towards him. I can’t believe this is my reality right now. It’s so hard to the point where i just want to break up and leave everything behind but deep down i know that will only hurt me so much worse. I just want to be better.
We’re having our ‘white wedding’ this coming Saturday. We’ve been married for 2 years already and he is the most amazing man in the world. My thoughts have been spiralling this week and I’m now at a point where I feel nothing. I’m so tired of this.. I know I love him with all my heart. It’s not fair that anyone of us have to live this way. No one should have to endure this. It’s been 5 years and I know I’m better than I was before but I wish it would all go away. I don’t want to live like this anymore I just want a normal mind.
I‘m so tired of always scanning my acts, thoughts, fantasies, desires for malicious intent. I‘m so tired of knowing that when I‘ll go down that spiral staircase, I‘ll never leave empty-hand. I‘m so tired of dragging doom around like a ghost that will not leave. I‘m so tired of not knowing anymore how to let myself be. I‘m so jealous of past me, I‘m so jealous of my past OCD themes – until I realize it’s always been the same. My heart dropping me to the floor and me trying to pick it up again. Always dragging myself back into the loop somehow. But: not hating myself for it anymore. I often feel human again, and goodness seeps in. I faintly recall being completely alright. I sometimes am completely alright. I let unspeakable terrors pass. Sending love to you, I know this is unspeakably hard.
Anyone feel like they see someone attractive who is not of their “normal” orientation and don’t know how to react now? Anxiety is there. But you don’t know if it’s denial or just HOCD. I see a girl (I am a straight male) and attraction feels normal but every once in a while I see a random guy who is attractive but I don’t know how to differentiate the two. The guy causes tons of anxiety and stress. I know I’m straight but my mind won’t let me accept that I am straight and makes me think I am attracted to the opposite of my orientation.
HOCD: a recovery story. My HOCD began around 2 years ago. At the time, I didn’t know that I had OCD. I have a vivid memory of the moment it all started. I was scrolling through TikTok, and stumbled upon a video of a girl talking about how she’d been ‘straight’ her whole life until meeting this one woman, and then she realised that she had never been straight at all… Initially, I felt confused, and then I felt one of the most intense rushes of panic I’ve ever felt: ‘what if I’m gay and just don’t know it?’, and a million other trailing thoughts ensued. What followed was 2 years of endless questioning, anxiety, panic, confusion, sadness and grief. Looking back, it’s almost comical to me how I let someone else’s narrative and experience shatter my own identity; but I guess that’s just how OCD works. It was a couple of months into this theme that I stumbled upon ‘HOCD’. What I was experiencing felt so bizarre; I had no concrete evidence to suggest that I was into women, yet I was questioning my sexuality every day, for hours! Having a pretty stereotyped conception of OCD, I didn’t believe that I could possibly have it… and then a thread started to reveal itself; I’ve had obsessions in the past about my health - I always assumed it was hypochondria, but it had an obsessive-compulsive style; it was more than just ‘worry’. It then occurred to me that this obsession with my sexuality felt very similar… After a lot of research, learning about OCD (the ‘pure O’ kind) and hearing and reading the experiences of others, I decided that I should start implementing exposures into my day-to-day life, in the hopes that I could finally close that chapter of my mental life. For me, my predominant ‘compulsions’ were reassurance seeking and checking. This manifested as staring at ‘erotic’ images of women, monitoring my mental and bodily responses, doing the same with men, and comparing the two; playing scenarios in my head of myself both romantically and physically with women, monitoring my responses; going back over photos, videos and memories to see if I ever behaved in a ‘non-hetero’ way; and the embarrassing list goes on. I found that intentionally trying to ‘stop’ these things, just fuelled my desire to do them more - to find certainty. I decided that this method - for some reason - wasn’t working. My next choice (and the choice that basically ended my battle with OCD) was letting the thoughts be there, but changing my response. I realised that the crux of my suffering was my constant responding to the thoughts, and my constant rumination on them. I realised that it was taking away from my day-to-day life - I wasn’t doing as much as I could’ve/should’ve been, I was neglecting aspects of myself that I should’ve/could’ve been attending to. I started to focus on the things that gave me a sense of meaning and contentment: school, my friends and family, music, learning, my health, etc, all the while LETTING the thoughts be there. At first, the suffering felt the same, I was still thinking all the time, I still felt like I was on autopilot, but I was progressing. Before I knew it, this progression became exponential. Over the course of months, my shift in prioritisation yielded huge rewards. I was happy and thriving, and my HOCD just became a dull background noise that had virtually no relevance to me. For some, the only way to achieve this is though therapy; I didn’t have the means, and that likely made things harder, so I highly recommend professional help to those who have access to it!!! Nonetheless, I feel free from OCD. Yes, I still have thoughts about my sexuality, YES, I still engage in the odd compulsion, but I definitely don’t qualify as having OCD anymore. Nothing triggers me in that regard, which I’m unbelievably thankful for. For example, I couldn’t even hear a ‘coming out’ story without bursting into panic and sometimes tears!!Now, I could listen to one with intrigue and absolutely no anxiety, and that’s really saying something. If anyone can take anything from this, I hope it’s the knowledge that you’re not doomed to your obsession, there is, unequivocally, hope for you. If I can recover, in the state that I was in, then there’s no doubt that (regardless of the severity) you can too!!! In retrospect, I can see how cognitively distorted my thinking was, and that’s not something you have insight into until you’re on the other side. I’m writing this with joy. I’m sending my absolute best wishes to all, whatever obsession you’re dealing with. You are not trapped, you are not doomed, you are not incapable of recovery - make the choice of change now.
18+ I’ve recently started getting more and more inc3st intrusive thoughts lately about my brothers that I feel disgusting about because I’ve never had these kind of thoughts before and while me and my boyfriend were having sex the whole time I kept getting images of them and my thoughts kept telling me I think they’re attractive and that I’m bored with my boyfriend because I’d rather be thinking about them. And I feel so gross saying all of this but I don’t want to tell my boyfriend even though he knows pretty much everything about my POCD. With all these sexual intrusive thoughts at once it just makes me feel like I’m a pervert and that I want all these thoughts especially when my ocd keeps bringing up my past porn addiction and mistakes I have made. I in no way shape or form want these thoughts but I just feel so guilty considering my past and how my intrusive thoughts seem so real. Ugh I just want to be normal again and have normal thoughts that normal people have.
How can ocd convince you that you’ve done something horrible that you don’t even remember!? This has to be the definition of insane. I feel super guilty and anxious for no REAL reason, ALL of the time. This is absolute torture. It’s like my brain is constantly looking for something to worry about and be stuck on.
Hey there ! This morning I’m listening to the OCD and anxiety podcast. I’m listening to the episode called ‘discovering the lens of fear. Matt said something really powerful. “Living in this fear is worse than the thing I’m so scared of coming true” Today I was disappointed that I gave into a compulsion last night of asking my partner for reassurance. But I am so encouraged though that yesterday I had soo many intrusive thoughts but 9times out of 10 I did not have to follow or try to fix the thoughts. 9 times out of 10 obsession didn’t insue … and 9 times out of 10 I didn’t follow up with a compulsion. Grateful for my progress. Today I am committed to not doing my compulsions. Because for me it doesn’t matter if the thoughts are likely to actually be true… it doesn’t matter because FEAR itself is my biggest problem today,, not thoughts and not others Letting go 💜
I need help. I’ve been feeling disconnected today more so than before. Not from reality obviously since I’m able to post this and am aware but deep inside I just don’t feel like 100% like I feel off. I have pure O and these days I’m worried about what’s going to happen to me. I know it’s irrational but I can’t seem to cope. I have depression and GAD, too. I have a hard time accepting all these. It’s been two years. My husband tells me I’m dumpling or complaining all the time. Others tell me I complain about the same thing - that I feel spaced out etc. Deep inside I feel conflicted, lack of confidence and constantly comparing myself now versus before. I’m able to work and come up with great ideas but I just hate that outside of work I feel lost. Going outdoors don’t give me joy like I used to. I also look down on myself for having mental issue. I’m trying to convince I’m not going crazy but I fear and think what if? Used to be so happy and grateful before. Now even my faith in God is waning and I question myself. I just want to truly live again without any fears and this feeling of being out of it. I welcome thoughts on how to cope and if you experience the same things. I just want to feel normal. Sometimes I imagine like what if I can turn this OCD into my super power. I’m also tired and disappointed that I have to take meds for my mental health. I fear that it is causing me to be spaced out. How did I let myself go this way. I wish there were warning signs.
this is sort of stupid but ocd is acting like a bitch rn every time i find an adult man attractive, and i notice his manly features like his facial hair or something my brain is like "oh. your dad has facial hair too. you like your dad?" and it makes this weird association between the guy im attracted to and my dad and it makes me feel weird and yucky and the girl i have a crush on has a rather high pitched voice, and i love her voice because it's soft and soothing and then my brain is like "you like her voice and it's high pitched. kids have high pitched voices too. you like kids?" and it makes me feel gross again it's irrational yeah but my brain makes these weird associations and it bothers me or even shuts off my attraction completely and when i tell myself it's okay to say this man is hot even if my brain is telling me" if you do that you're basically admitting to being attracted to your dad" i just can't do it cuz i feel gross although i know that deep down its a bit of a reach i hope this made sense
Really struggling right now. Not seeking reassurance, but just need to vent because ocd is relentless. My ocd has latched onto the actual treatment of my ocd itself. I have an irrational fear that my docs will think I’m too obsessed with medications/appts and they will then stop prescribing my meds and stop seeing me as a patient because they don’t want to give into my OCD. Then I’ll be left to deal with my ocd on my own without meds and appts w/ specialists. This is a very paradoxical ocd and just an example of how ocd can do literally anything to keep a strangle hold on it’s victims. Any advice, thoughts, prayers are appreciated. Much love.
Reflecting on my life in my teens/early 20s and all the poor choices I made and the way I allowed myself to live. OCD makes it feel like it was just yesterday. It makes me feel like there’s no reason to try for tomorrow because I haven’t been good in the past. I should have been better but I can’t become better. Tonight is just rough and I’m having a hard time with it. Any advice for handling the feeling of hating yourself and your past actions?
I havent been obsessing lately and now im really upset because I keep feeling like I dont love my boyfriend and it feels really true :( I've been spending more time alone lately and I dont get as excited to see him as I usually would. I mean what if I dont actually love him? I just feel numb lately :( I keep thinking we won't work out since sometimes we don't really text. I really want to be with him and I really want it to work out. I'm worried im not attracted to him either
I hate false memory. Does anyone develop false memory immediately after something happens? Like not after a long time, but almost immediately? This happened to me. Something happened and immediately I questioned if what I did had a more sinister motive/intention. And now I’ve really come to believe it did. And the fact that I’m labeling it as a false memory, my ocd is trying to tell me I have just convinced myself it’s a false memory to cope.
Now it’s all black i have returned to phase i fought so much to stay away from it’s start making me doubt my religion and look up things about evolution and that there is mo god and bla bla and i am not stable enough because of my ocd doubting phase and i don’t wanna lose my religion it’s a dead end i don’t want to and i want the constant checking thoights to leave me because the internet has so many misleading info and it only feed my ocd wrh negatives and make doubt everything i hte that i don’t want that i don’t know what to do really! I got better few months ago idk why the hell this happened now!!!
I was just diagnosed with PCOS. My OCD has taken me on a run and has me thinking all sorts of things, that I will become infertile or I will die. I know I am falling back to depression abs severe anxiety attacks. The point of this post is I feel so alone and I was wondering if there is anyone who has the same diagnosis as me. I might delete this later, but if you do maybe we can talk and connect with each other?
I just listened to the most recent ocd stories podcast and what the actual heckinbob. Towards the end Dr burns explains how most of his ocd patients have a underlying problem in their present life that is causing them to suffer from ocd. For example hating your job or not speaking your true feelings. But of course ocd wiggled their big butt on in and sat on my shoulder and said “what if your underlying problem is your relationship, you need to break up” “your lying to your self” What are your guys thoughts on this? I’m rather triggered by this episode and how Dr burns was rather vague on how to try and find your supposed underlying issue.
Does any of you guys repeat words? I do it unconsciously, it just kind of happens in my mind but i don't think it "gives" me relief like most of my compulsions, but it does prevent my mind from being occupied with the intrusive thoughts for a while. Is it a compulsion?
Omg the last week has been one of the worst ever... As I have posted here few days ago, I am waiting my period and I am bombardised by horrible intrusive thoughts. My Rocd seems more threatening than ever and I can't get out of it. I get these thoughts and then I have to do many compulsions to go on in my day. I made some serious scenes to my husband, I doubted, agonised and cried like a small kid. I can't describe how bad I feel, how sick and low trapped in this never ending illness. I really couldn't resist the compulsions no matter if I thought I made the smallest progress. I feel a monster that makes my husband's life misery and cause fights inside my home with my small baby being present. Why do these thoughts seem so real??? They tell me Iul must believe in them, and cannot get out of it. My mind wants me to live in sadness, doubt and misery. I feel so losty friends like I want to hide in a cave and never get out... I feel like there's trauma inside my soul that wakes up through rocd thoughts...
1) Strive for long-term freedom from OCD by teaching your mind not to take it self so seriously 2) OCD is the fear net work of the brain sending a signal that something is wrong and something needs to be done about it !! 3) OCD only reports and feared consequences that are important to a person 4) OCD may inject into your awareness with a thought oh no or what if !! 5) if OCD taunts you with images or thoughts then it must be really important to you 6) what keeps our city alive and well it’s not the experience or the intrusive thought but actually one’s reaction to them 7) The human mind is consistently spinning around trying to find interesting problems to solve. 8)OCD loves taking anything that is reassuring and turning it into a compulsion 9) talking about your OCD problems get it out in the open because you will start to hear your OCD as blah blah blah maybe even laughable your brain will be one step closer to understanding that thoughts are spam mail and nothing more 10) learn how to recognize spam from urgent mail 11) don’t allow yourself to start exploring the idea or contact of your thought don’t try to come up with a plan or solve any problem that appears to be created by your thoughts when you do this you are trying to figure out the answer to a problem that has no answer furthermore it is not a problem 12) remember that anxiety will be working hard to trick you into believing that your thoughts really to represent all the upsetting myths that we’re debunked remember that acceptance is the opposite of fighting with the feeling or fleeing from the thought and it is part of the paradoxical nature is anxiety that accepting the feeling and the thought is the most effective way to get rid of them Remember thoughts are just thoughts and only thoughts Anxiety tries to convince you that intrusive thoughts have a special meaning . Beating anxious thinking is refusing to be taken in by this misleading message
I did some research on what supplements may help the most with OCD, and aside from the ones like Ashwaghanda, I've found that vitamin B12 and folic acid actually showed signs of improvement for patients with OCD! So even if you're not vegan, make sure you're getting your much needed intake of B12, as even 40% of people with an omnivore diet have B12 deficiency. I hope this information helps!
How do those of you with ROCD manage the feelings of guilt etc when you don't fight your doubts? For example, I often have this nagging thought that I don't "really" love/like my partner, even though all evidence is to the contrary; I know that the best thing to do is to avoid engaging with these thoughts, but then I just feel so awful for having them, especially as my partner is so considerate, caring, and everything I could want and need. I also worry that allowing these thoughts to stay in my mind without disproving them will mean that I will start really believing them, and I really can't stand that idea. How do I continue to not engage with these thoughts when they feel so awful, and like they will have horrible consequences???
Trigger warning I have scrupulousity and often when I actually am trying to pray for forgiveness I find myself thinking that I’m not being genuine. Sometimes I find myself doing compulsions and having intrusive thoughts while praying but I also feel like sometimes I pray more as a compulsion than rather a genuine prayer seeking God’s forgiveness.
Is this relationship ocd, or ocd related? It’s a longer post so I’m sorry, but would reallly appreciate feedback. I’m happily married with a one year old son. My wife and I have our fights especially since the baby...sometimes it’s bad, but we are generally happy. Well last year I was going through and unrelated health issue with my stomach, that basically caused me to be very weak and lose 32lbs in a couple months. My relationship with my wife really suffered during this time because she was so burned out taking care of the newborn, and her husband. I know it was hard on her, but I was just dropping weight, and a lot of times I felt like a burden on the family because I got sick. At least that’s how she made me feel. She did the best she could but there was a disconnect. There was this girl at work that had the same stomach issue previously, and we really started talking a lot about it. I kind of built this connection with her, and was “drawn” to her, but that was it. No meet ups, no texting really except on pretty rare occasions. I’m not attracted to her, but there have been times where I looked forward to seeing her, and we have a lot of mutual friends. We are just friends, that’s it. I do not want anything with this girl, and I’m very happy with my wife. But there was kind of an emotional support that was there, that I wasn’t getting when I was really sick. Anyway, I see this person when we go out to drink, there are times I even invite her along with everyone else because she’s on our friend group. But I keep feeling like I’m supposed to tell my wife...almost like a confession. I don’t really know why, but I feel like it’s on my chest and I feel like a terrible husband for it. A therapist friend of mine said I shouldn’t tell her if nothing happened, and I just need to be carful and mindful of my emotions and feelings. But I keep thinking about this person and I don’t want to. Anyway this is going on too long but do you guys think this is OCD? Or am I just having a one sided emotional affair with this person? I just don’t understand why I keep thinking of this person. I’m not even attracted to them!
i’m so tired of waking up everyday and dealing with intrusive thoughts and urges. i feel so guilty about everything and i don’t deserve all the love i get and the nice things my family buys me, i’m a disgusting person. i don’t even feel like i’m part of my family anymore i feel completely detached from everything in my life. i don’t think i can ever go back to how i used to be, i feel like i’m too far gone and my brain is too messed up.
When I was a lot younger, maybe 6th grade, I believe. I use to visualize myself having sex with anyone I looked at. No matter what gender or however older that were than me. People at school or on the bus. Maybe in the store or mall. Even my teachers and I wouldn’t want to stay after class or anything to be alone with them. Absolutely everywhere. I hated it. Just thought I’d share.
i keep questioning what i did to deserve this. there’s days i go to sleep wishing i didn’t wake up. there’s days where i wake up wanting to just end it all and end the pain i keep causing everyone around me bc they see me struggling and it probably frustrates them as much as it frustrates me. i try so so hard to be okay everyday. these thoughts are so fucken brutal it’s crazy. i can’t even say “aww i can’t wait to have kids” without my mind telling “you just want kids bc your a sicko. you’re gonna hurt them.” false memory ocd & real event ocd have been absolute hell. the urges, the feelings, the frustration, the anger, the disturbing most disgusting thoughts ever. it’s only been 3 months of this constant battle and i feel like it’s been 8 years & like my life has already came crashing down. i had so much ahead of myself, i wanted to be a professional nail tech. i wanted to make it big in life, i saw such a bright future for myself. i cry everyday about this bc i just can’t believe it. im so truly sorry to those of you who struggle bc of ocd. i wish i could cure everyone so we could all go back to being okay again😞
I’m afraid to talk to my therapist about a particular fear that actually involves them. I don’t want to be switched to another therapist because I make them uncomfortable or they think I’m weird or something. I like my therapist and I don’t want to have to “start over” with someone else. I know that I have to talk about my fears to get better, but I’m scared. Any advice about talking with your therapist about strange thoughts that involve them too?
Anyone else struggling with false memory and thought action fusion? I’ve had situations where my urges are so strong and I am so hyper aware and hyper vigilant about my body parts and their movements in these moments. The anxiety is so high and the thoughts are so loud and my body starts to physically react. Nothing major, but in my mind if I feel any type of movement, it translates to me as acting on an urge. I then develop false memories when the thoughts come in, like was it JUST a thought? Or did I actually act on an urge? Because the anxiety is SO high, I can’t remember details accurately. And this causes me immense distress.
I’m done I’m sick of feeling like this. I’m sick of constantly being in my head and feeling exhausted! I’m sick of worrying what other people think of me, what I think of me, what I’m constantly overthinking and so on. It’s killing me and I don’t know what to do. People keep saying tell yourself it might not be ocd and it might be, you might be gay or you might not be, this might happen or it might not BUT I CANT! I can’t do that! I don’t want any of the above so I’m stuck. I don’t wanna wake up tomorrow. I want it to end. I wanna sleep for the rest of my life. I’m done I’m so tired
Has anyone else had intrusive thoughts about converting to another religion? It's really weird so for context I grew up in a very Christian family, don't really believe in it anymore and now am happily Buddhist but when my anxiety spikes I'll have these thoughts about Jesus, and becoming a Christian and they foce themselves into my head. I even sat there and really tried to determine if it was a desire or not and I just kept feeling like I wanted to convert to make the thoughts stop, not that it was a true feeling of mine. Has anyone gone through something similar? I've tried looking through the moral and religious ocd stuff and I'm not finding something that's exactly what I'm going through so idk what to think.
Like okay, I want a boyfriend, I want someone I can introduce to the family and love unconditionally. But my body and brain won’t allow it to happen. If I meet a guy I will never meet up with them, I may even loose interest all together and panic. Even though I do like them I just can’t do it. I have severe anxiety, and commitment issues, I know that. But I don’t know how to get out of this cycle of stress. It’s not like I’m not interested in men, I am! It’s like if they don’t fit the imagine then I don’t want them. It’s a scary way to think because nobody is gonna be perfect, but by this rule way of thinking I may end up alone forever. I’m growing up fast and I don’t want to miss anything. I can’t go back and change what happened to me as a child, child trauma happened but now it’s effecting me big time. BIG TIME
Do you guys get these extreme mood swings? Like, the moment i feel happiness i feel it extremely much and I'm able to let the obsessive thoughts go easily, but there are days that i just wake up in a depressive mood and i get extremely sad and helpless with obsessive thoughts consuming me almost completely and I can't control my compulsions as much (but still have control due to meditation). I also have sudden bursts of anger when someone talks to me or interrupts me during my "blue mood". I used to hit myself into obedience when i was younger, now i no longer do it and I'm much more positive about myself. Anyone can relate?
For 2 years i have very big mental problem.I always think very intense about one person.I cant stop thinking about him.When i go to bed, when i go to college ,when i wake up i always think about him.When i see him i get very strange feeling .Every night i dream of him watching me.I wake up everytime sweaty.Sometimes i am very afraid when i go to bed because i dont know what will happen.I started doing everything like him.My thoughts are all about what he will say.I dont know what to think now.I cant describe my mental pain..I just want to live again.I started to think that my life has no meaning and that only solution would be..