Im considering getting a Therapist , I just need to know a few things , Im in Australia, is NOCD Therapy available there, how much is it, how do we communicate is it , is it Telephone or Zoom Call.
does anyone get triggered by music in any way? for me, i associate this song ‘always and forever’ by the cults as a bad luck or bad omen. like i get triggered if i hear it on instagram or tik tok and start doing my compulsions. it used to be my fave song until coincidences started happening with bad luck and whenever i purposefully go to listen to it i get some bad luck and now i can’t even hear the band at all because my brain associates them as demonic. i miss listening to my favourite song but i just gave up because of the distress i get from it does anyone else have experiences with music and bands that affect OCD?
So four years ago I wrote some messages to other girls and told my partner of 9 years and she accepted it and just said it was silly and nothing to worry about now four years later I am crippled with the fear of them “messages” surfacing and her leaving me even though she said she would never leave me over some messages I am even being convinced that I have sent things I don’t even recall sending,she is my world and I just can’t shake the fear of her leaving me I feel like no one understands what I am feeling it’s very frustrating and difficult to even live!
Can you do ERP without a Therapist
I had no idea what yaoi or sexuality was when I m/o’ed to it a couple times when I was 14… now that I’m 21, I know I only want to be with women my age and above and no one else… my HOCD is telling me that this will all be over when I come out, but I don’t ever want to be homosexual or bisexual in any way…
My family is really toxic and they keep saying that if someone insulted you and you feel offended is me to blame cuz i let that offen me and thats nit the case at all but that’s triggered my real event ocd and just my intrusive thoughts overall
My insurance finally approved my single case agreement for NOCD! 😭 There’s still a bit that I need to pay but at least there’s some sort of benefits. What happens on the first meeting? What sorts of questions I need to prepare for? I would like to be able to maximize every minute I have in the session!
Really really struggling with real event ocd, probably even a little false memory ocd too. I am humiliated. How have other people beaten this subtype? I start therapy for the first time in 2 weeks.
My OCD is telling me I should write a long email to the guy in my past who I’ve been obsessing with and use the Hurricane Ian hitting Florida as an excuse to start a conversation because his family lives there. Or maybe use the “delay” feature on Outlook to send the email then delete it, so it won’t send. OR ask one of our engineers here if we have an internal system where we can unsend an email to someone. I feel so much anxiety right now, I feel lightheaded and nervous and shaky. I have this slight feeling of throwing up. Note that the guy and I only talked for about a month, and haven’t been in contact. He did say happy birthday through a fast click greeting feature on LinkedIn last year but that’s it. We do not have contact right now. But my OCD wants me to contact him or at least ATTEMPT to contact him but if I delete the email before it sends then I get that huge relief of overcoming something, then I “never have to do it again.” A part of me wants to know what that would feel like when I do all these things. It’s at my workplace too so… I need help because I’m trying to avoid my workplace now by taking half days for the rest of the week.
I wish there was a support group for real event ocd… it’s such a hard and scary theme since it’s something that happened… not the fear of it happening…
due to ocd being generally centred around thoughts i feel like it is disrupting my ability to stay motivated and achieve goals. i constantly get intrusive thoughts about how i’m never going to leave a mark and will become forgotten about. i try to write music or something creative and i just stop as i keep having these bad thoughts that i’m not going to do well i hate how ocd doesn’t necessarily only affect the symptoms it brings (obsessions/compulsions) but also gives us specific personality traits (like not a risk taker for example) it just sounds like one thing but it’s really just a big umbrella for many many other issues. i feel trapped as it’s permanent stuck with my forever
thinning your partners lying when you ask them “hey have i ever hurt you or done anything without your consent?” and they say “no of course you haven’t hurt me or done anything without consent” but no matter how much reassurance i ask her every single day the same questions. and i feel like having a breakdown everytime because i don’t want to be a bad person. and i don’t want my life to be ruined. what type of ocd is this? it also happens with friends. like i used to ask them sk much if they hated me. and i would distance myself or be really nice to them just in case they hated me. and no matter how much reassurance it wouldn’t convince me until my mind forgets about it is this ocd
Life Without My Disgusting Mind And Thoughts Are So Beautiful..... Ahh i hate them so much.... Wish i could vanish them somehow 😌😔
with ocd recently. and i haven’t been on this app for hours. and haven’t been doing compulsions ect, does this mean i never had ocd? i’m afraid i’m gonna spiral
It feels like On good OCD days I get depression and Bad OCD days I get ocd with no depression
Ughh so I was driving with the dad today and I cut someone off because an ambulance was near. It was close enough where I had to change lanes. There was a car next to me and I had to cut him off. I cut him off too close where I could’ve hit him. I immediately brake because the ambulance was about to pass. I started to feel so bad for the person I cut off and kept beating myself up about it the whole ride. I know it was partially his fault for not giving me space when I had my turn signal on. But I feel so guilty like what if he was already having a bad day and I made it worse. Every time I say it wasn’t all my fault and it was an accident I feel so guilt and ashamed of myself for not taking full responsibility. I keep thinking why didn’t I slow down? was he really speeding and I just cut him off aggressively? Did he actually slow down for me and I put him in harms way? I’m stressing. I feel like a bad person or not the right person if I don’t take accountability for everything. I can’t remember who’s really responsible but if I don’t say it was all mine I get all stressed. I know it’s not important but I feel guilty. I’m disappointed that my ocd is acting up again and I’m wishing that I could go back to the time where it wasn’t in my present mind. Or go back and fix my mistake or memory that’s causing me to have an episode.
How do you deal with conversations when your fears are brought up unexpectedly? For example death is something that triggers me and I had someone unexpectedly start talking about her sisters death & I noticed my anxiety rising.
i know ocd can sometimes introduce personality traits and stuff (like generally being scared of risks/linked to fears) but can it be a factor of my crippling insecurity? i honestly don’t know anyone more insecure and secretive as myself and i jsut wanna know if my bad reflection on myself thinking i’m a bad person with no talent (my hobbies are the creative type) so i want to know if any of you are the same or if it’s a normal part of it. idk how to even put up with myself
I don't Know what's my problem......if i don't like acting or behaving like something..... Why do i even act or behave??? And if i don't wanna be a bad person.... Why do i still am a bad person?? And after my deeds and behaviour i beat myself.....if i had to beat myself or didn't like doing or behaving like that.... Why did i even do or behave like that in the first place??? It's just soo weird... I just hate myself and don't understand myself....
I hate that my guilt is so loud. I hate that have so much shame. I hate that things haunt me for so long that im aftaid itll haunt me for ever. I want average amounts of shame and guilt. I wish i had healthy guilt. But i have guilt-induced shame and shame-induced guilt.
I just feel like I’m always stuck. Even when I start to move on I keep getting pushed back at some point during my recovery. I know nothing is linear but this sucks.
Real event ocd literally destroyed my life
Even though my OCD isn’t too bad and will probably have another episode soon (horrible last week and I think it was due to my PMS too lol) but i’m here to tell you all just accept the thoughts sooner. Don’t fight them, cry if you have to, let the anxiety sit there and embrace your thoughts. This week I set myself a target to accept my thoughts, doesn’t mean I have to like them, and truly accept uncertainty of the future. Especially with something like SOCD or POCD it’s so terrifying, the evidence you may have, etc. It affects your sleep, your eating, it can change you, but it’s never too late to start accepting uncertainty and your thoughts. I’m probably gonna have another episode soon and i’ll have to manage that, but it’s X10 easier accepting the thoughts, even the scary ones, the intrusive thoughts etc. So moral of the story is make friends with your OCD, just think of her like a passive aggressive friend lmao🤍
Does anyone else notice when they’re anxious you’re so on edge you think you hear sounds like, I keep thinking I’m hearing a little beep sound. And the more i try to hear it the more I freak myself out
Does anyone else experience like seeing things out of the corner of their eyes. Almost like if your focusing on something and out of the corner of your eye you see almost like a small bug or something quickly. But when you look it’s nothing
I hate myself for the way I am and the way I act. I really am feeling bad about myfelf and worrying a lot now with probably a lot of real event ocd. I have problems with porn and even "sexting" (I said that because I dont really do it literally and didnt do it in places that could afect people). This happened a few times but its enough to make me feel like shit. Even though I am 23 years old, I feel extremely guilt even for watching porn and fapping. I am literally feeling like a piece of shit and ocd makes it worse. I also have pocd, religous ocd, real event, false memory, moral ocd and altought ocd wasnt bothering me so much past months, now its coming full force. I dont know how to deal with this. I am doing therapy but I dont feel safe to share all this. I feel shame for my ocd thoughts and I try not to be specific about it in therapy. I dont know what to do. I just want to stop feeling like a horrible person and thinking bad about myself, that I am such a horrible person. I am always trying to evolve as a human being and change habits and bad habits, but still sometimes I feel myself this way. Someone please help me with some word. I know I am seeking reassurance and I dont want that, but I would be glad if someone could share a word, talk with me a little. Thanks
At PHP this girl gave me a thing to knit with and a knitting hook. After she gave me the hook she set it down next to me (I think?) and walked off. I didn’t even touch it but when she came back it was gone?!? Idk if maybe she accidentally took it with her and forgot but I literally have no idea where it went. It’s all my fault and I’m going to buy her a new one.. I feel sooo bad I hope she’s not mad at me but she seemed super upset omfg I feel so bad. I hope it was not emotionally significant to her :((( Why do I keep making mistakes.
driving myself goddamn crazy over whether or not i did something. the memory feels legit not right from what i remember but i feel like im purposely repressing things ive done wrong bc my minds done that before and i was SO sure of it being real at first. fml
Does anyone remember exactly how they developed rocd? I don’t know what my triggers are so iT really confuses me.
like you think “have i ever hurt my partner in the past and forgot?” i keep asking for reassurance every single day if i’ve ever hurt my partner or done something without her consent. and she keeps reassuring me that everything we’ve ever done has been consensual, and that i haven’t hurt her. but my brain goes “what if she lying?” and it starts. whole loop. im so scared. i really hope i haven’t hurt her ever. i love her so much.
I’m in love with a very beautiful amazing girl, we’re planning on moving in together in 3 months, my rocd is unfortunately the worse it’s ever been. My brain constantly flopping between loving her and not, guilt when I do. I know I love her, but I need to stop feeling like this. If anyone has anything to help plz share I’m lost
today i really struggled. i had to spend money which is incredibly anxiety inducing for me, and i became quickly overwhelmed which made my ocd bad. recently my ocd has kinda been on a downward spiral but it seems to just get so much worse sometimes. i want to believe that all of my fear is just ocd but its so difficult to "give up" the control that i have/think i have :( i wish i could be myself again.
I seriously think my therapist will judge me because what I did is abnormal but not bad I didn’t hurt anyone and it’s prob something they rarely hear
Sometimes when I'm overthinking, I recognize my OCD patterns so it helps me. But then I think; "am I just using OCD to excuse a terrible version of me?" And also sometimes it's like a statement. That OCD doesn't exist and it's gaslighting me. I'm just struggling with knowing what's real, but I'm thankful to have people to relate to.
Almost 2 years ago I was struggling severely with pocd and that subsided with treatment - looks like i’ll be back in therapy with real event ocd and alocholism + excessive ruminating. OCD a life long pain in the ass 🥹
Ocd is so frustrating...... Ocd makes me doubt and question everything..... And in such a silly way..... And it makes me feel things in a way that i didn't actually feel...... And because of it i just can't trust my own thoughts and brain anymore...... So tired of this disease 😖
I have terrible, and I mean terrible, hit and run OCD. I have this irrational fear of causing a wreck for the cars behind me or hitting pedestrians. It is causing me to be super anxious every time I drive. Does anyone have any tips on how to overcome this?
It’s common for people with ptsd to blame themselves so I spent a couple days calling myself the meanest names because of something that happened to me. It took several days before it clicked that “dude this is literally trauma” I posted to a ptsd sub and got some support. My only problem. This was a V E R Y suppressed memory and it has caused a complete replace in my ptsd recovery. Years and years of work getting better said bye bitch. First aren’t co-morbid disorders super fun and lovely (sarcasm) And second, AHHH :(
So I have a fetish but I'm not sure if it's also a normal non-sexual interest at the same time. A couple of years ago I got into the habit of reading up on a topic of interest but it was also related to my sexual fetish. I wasn't reading the stuff to sexually indulge but fear that that's what it was really all about. Has anyone else experienced this fear? Is my fear justified?
So all day my Teal Event OCD was telling me to confess and the urge was so strong, what I did was wrong to me , it’s something I did to myself , I didn’t hurt anyone else and I only did it once and never again , I don’t k ow how to do ERP with a Real event that happened that keeps makin me remember it
I’m going on a cruise in 3 months and I wanna be good mentally that I don’t have relapses on there , what do I do?
Okay so I was in bed with my boyfriend and he was sleeping. I had the idea of choking him and then I was like what if I do it and like it. Then felt happy and I was like why am I happy it’s because I want to and I got them super scared so I woke him up. I think I’m so monster has this happened to anyone.
this app is the best, it feels so right and healthy. i feel so understood :). i’ve understood myself immensely due to reading and talking to others about their experiences. i feel ocd is overlooked due to the stereotype around it. it’s even worse due to the permanency of it ;( i will always love this app and everything it’s done for me so far
does anyone ever feel so angry and hopeless because of OCD? my ocd affects my life constantly (i’m talking few minutes of the day it happens, even when m i’m distracted) and the fact that they’re no cure just makes me feel angry. my ocd is partially genetics and trauma and i feel so angry and resentment toward everyone who contributed to my trauma. like someone ruined my entire life but triggering a chronic illness. they did this to me…. for no good reason at all? all because they’re just bad traumatised people. i need to know if anyone else has these angry, hopeless and resentful feelings
Ok so, I have an ex best friend who I used to be very close to, 3 years ago in 2019, I smoked some weed with her and I freaked out so bad to the point where it caused me so much anxiety and panic attacks for weeks that it unleashed my OCD and I had to go to a facility. We were still friends later that year, but we had a big falling out in late 2019, then in 2020 became friends again, then pandemic happened and we had one last falling out and never really spoke again. In 2021 she tried to come back in my life by texting but I just didn’t respond. Now, for some reason she has actually been a topic of my OCD for almost 2 years, she’s almost like my “go-to” topic because I think of her constantly, and I have an intense fear of her and that one day she may be out to get me, or get someone to come and k*ll me, or do something to harm me, and the reason I say that as well is because she hangs with such crazy looking young guys who have literal military weapons and drugs and things in their profile pictures and they look like they are big trouble, they look like people who would commit a terrible crime. I feel like she would get these people out to get me and hurt me. I hate HATE the fact that I have let her have this much power over me for the past 2 years, it makes me feel like I’m a weirdo and that I have more than just OCD and that makes me feel sick to my stomach to think about. The reason also why this is happening so suddenly where I’m thinking of her often is because I am moving into the same apartment complex that she is in, and I signed a 15 month lease, and I didn’t know she lived there at all, so I’m freaking out a bit. I just want to not let her have this much power over me anymore, I try to avoid her SO much but I can’t stop thinking about her and it scares me, I want to be able to live in this world with her not having this much power over me anymore, it’s making me sick!
So yesterday I got the new iPhone. A couple hours later I get a text message saying that my package is being delivered from some Saco company which is like a transportation company apparently. that I've never heard of. I'm a 22-year-old girl why would I be ordering transportation like airplanes LOL… Anyways I clicked on the link because I was like oh what did I order because it had my name on it and everything.. when I clicked on it, it was like a legit website to some "swyft" website ?? And it said something about track my package or track my order so I clicked on it and when I click on it, it says page not found or page moved. And there was no information about what I ordered besides the text message telling me what company it came from and it just had a city that I live in which I'm assuming I just got my address from different sites like shein that I've ordered off of. but it didn't say anything about my actual address. I literally just had the city on there... It literally did not have any information about what I ordered because I didn't order anything lol… And now I'm having an obsession that my phone is hacked even though I just got this phone yesterday and it's really hard to hack iPhones, but my OCD is convincing me that my phone is hacked, and that someone is spying on me, and that the scammer is out to get me… Because there was no information to fill out on the thing. I would think that if it was a scam that they would help me fill out information so they can get my information but what if just by clicking on the link they got my information? All my friends tell me that like it's a scam and nothing's gonna happen and to calm down.. that's how I know it's my OCD, because everybody else would not take it that serious, but I am convincing myself that I'm hacked because I clicked on this link… this happen or does anyone like else think that they're being hacked when really they're not
What if my sense of urgency isn’t just based on OCD? I accidentally deleted most of my text conversations while doing a compulsion last week, and now I feel like I have to get them back. I want to. I asked my friend if she has her text conversation with me saved from 2019, that’s when I met my now husband too. I feel like I need her to check it right away because as days go by, it might get automatically deleted from her phone too, assuming she has that “auto-delete” setting on her iPhone. So you see how I feel that clock is really ticking for me and my sense of urgency does have a reason why I’m feel anxious? And if I wait too long, and it takes her too long to check, all messages from 3 years ago might be deleted and it will be too late.
Hi! I'm at university; and i'm studying for a really hard exam. Since that i started to be more frustrate; more anxious and i always question if it is worth it; if i would really love my future job enough; if i'm really motivated enough etc. I noticed i use the same pattern of questions as the one i used with my ex; because roc. "Do i really love him enough? Do i really want to stay with him?" Etc. I knew at the time was rocd. Maybe this could be ocd too? What should i do to keep my motivation up to continue studying?
When was the last time you were truly happy in life?
Hey I’m having a really hard time with the intrusive thoughts I keep on thinking that I harmed somebody but I don’t know for sure and it’s giving me high anxiety I keep on wanting to apologize or just check to see if everyone is okay but I know that’s not going to stop the intrusive thought. How do you y’all handle bad intrusive thoughts in the moment when they happen ?
Does anyone have coping tips for intrusive thoughts, my day to day is basically me not being in control of my mind and at night feeling guilt because I never wanted to have those thoughts during the day. I wish I could help it, if anyone has any tips please let me know, it seems harder to be myself recently :(
I just started ERP a few weeks ago, so I am doing very low level exposures right now. However, in day-to-day life, I come in contact with triggering events that would be what I consider to be high level exposures. Any recommendations on how to stay calm in real-life scenarios for triggers you are not yet tackling in ERP?
As stupid as this is, does anyone ever analyze things they did as a kid and wonder if it was a “sign” that something is wrong with you? For instance, one of my themes is that I could be an evil person (like a narcassist/sociopath) and one time my brother’s gerbil died and I laughed bc he was upset. I don’t remember why or why I laughed at him. I was like 4 years old. As stupid as it sounds, I obsess about anything I did as a kid and wonder what the deeper meaning is. Kids do stupid things that make zero sense all the time. As a dance teacher, kids said and did evil things constantly in class. Why would I let this even bother me. Ocd is a JOKEEEEE 😑😑😑
i found a specialist. yay. i talk to her in. 4 weeks. in the meantime i need to get a refferal so that the actual specialist is cheaper. therefore i need to see a normal doctor to get the refferal. i don’t know what to tell him. since i’ve had a very taboo and disgusting false thought that i’ve obsessed over for 3 months. he won’t understand it’s ocd. and i’m scared. anyway. i’m always terrified and petrified that this isn’t a false thought. i’ve even asked the person involved in the thought “hey have i ever hurt you?” and they promised me that i haven’t. i also talk to them daily. i usually ignore them because my ocd says i’m a terrible person but yeah. i’m so worried that this false thought is true. i don’t want to be a bad person. i don’t want to go to jail. i don’t want to be in trouble. i’m only 15 :(
Ok I did something stupid a few years back but I didn’t hurt anyone or anything more just towards myself and I tried it once and didn’t do it afterwards and haven’t done it since but people have done worst and get over it but not me I’m just stuck on it , People make mistake especially when there young , I’m not sure if I say “Wexare Humans and Human make mistakes “ if that’s reassurance or forgiving myself
I watched black mirror years ago and the episodes triggered me so much and triggered my POCD because I kept comparing myself to that guy. I actually don't think I can watch it. It's not just that episode I don't like the show in general it so dark and creepy.
I don't know if anyone else struggles with this, I feel like any concern I have about someone else, after I bring it up I feel like I'm a shit talker and I feel so guilty. My concerns seem valid at the time but I fear that I'm being a bully without knowing it. I try to admit when I am wrong but is it possible my brain makes false judgment? Or am I just doubting my general judgment? If anyone else has a similar experience, I'd like to hear. It may not be OCD related :)
i swear all i want 24/7 is reassurance that im not a bad person😭. when i feel deeply inside that im not and i know i'm not a bad person. but it just feels like i don't deserve anything, after a dumb decision from 2-3 years ago that i figured out was wrong right after. and vowed to never listen to my head like that again.
i have 2 events from my past when i was 12 & 14, im 16 going on 17 soon now. and it's like it's gonna haunt me forever, and maybe i deserve it. i know the situations weren't that bad or serious, but i feel like i should have known better. and i did feel bad after one of them but i knew i didn't mean any harm i just shouldn't have listened to my intrusive thoughts. i wish i could go back to age 4 and just start over again.
The way guilt works is a strange thing. I’ve realized this now working with my OCD. I’ve been having a flare up lately and it’s triggering to hear people tell me how much of a sweet and great person I am. I feel guilty because my OCD says I’m a terrible person, and because I feel guilty that must mean I am right? But my therapist says that’s not true. It’s strange to feel guilt when you aren’t truly guilty of anything lol.
Hi, I need advice. I'm a 21 year old college student, turning 22 in November. If I go back to school this year, I will only be a sophomore by credits, with no progress toward my degree. For 5 years I've suffered from off-the-charts-severe OCD, with 30+ obsessions, and hundreds, if not thousands, of compulsions. I have not been able to function whatsoever for 5 years, despite being a 4.0 student before my condition worsened. I'm beginning to truly understand and accept that all of my problems are a result of this disorder, including my severe depression, and my social anxiety. I have trialed 30+ medications, brain stimulation, years of therapy (NOT ERP), partial hospitalization (NOT ERP), and inpatient hospitalization (NOT ERP). None have been effective. I could return to school with this new understanding & acceptance, working vigorously on an outpatient basis; OR, could enroll in residential inpatient treatment specifically for OCD, with lots of ERP—for the first time. I would prefer to return to school; I am impassioned by learning, and independence from my family, and would love so dearly to begin my adult life and earn my degree in physics. However, I am concerned, despite my newfound acceptance & understanding, that my return will be the same story as the entirety of my college career thus far: an incapacity to engage in school due to obnoxiously profound OCD. In other words, if I were to go back now, I'd be vigorously working on ERP, on an outpatient basis, but I'd essentially be starting at school with no guarantee that my efforts toward vanquishing OCD will be effective. My alternative option is to enroll in residential inpatient treatment and fully conquer my OCD, once and, hopefully, for all. Afterward, I would begin my adult life with more propensity to succeed and heightened vigor. However, I would need to accept a tainted college transcript (very difficult and saddening to me, having a history being a 4.0 student, and with some degree of perfectionism OCD); I would need to accept that I am not able to retake the classes I failed, because it would be irrational to wait one more year (next fall) to take those classes, when they're offered, instead of jumping straight into my college career after residential treatment. This is furthermore difficult because I plan to go to graduate school. I don't trust admission counselors' goodness-at-heart to overlook my profound challenges for the first 3 years of my college degree; I've had my heart set on Ivy universities my whole life, and I'm 100% certain if they would overlook my challenges, I'd succeed tremendously. Thank you for your advice.
How do you accept Uncertainty over something you did , the uncertainty of what if I know I did it
Real event, ROCD, HOCD, Intrusive thoughts, moral. I see no end in sight and all I do is suffer.
Hi, I am new here, I have been reading the forum posts & replying to them when I can but this time I thought I would be brave and have a go myself so... I had my first tattoo last December I was excited & nervous. I thought I would treat myself as I had a horrible time in lockdown when I realised I had OCD and was officially diagnosed. I started to re-admire tattoos & became very interested in them. I did my research on vegan studios, I also watched many YouTube videos etc. When I found a local studio I had to go inside by myself, wear a mask due to covid precautions etc. It wasn't until I was sat in the chair waiting for my stencil to dry, that I realised the artist smokes and went out for a cigarette. I did my best to stay calm and not panic, but thoughts started bombarding me. I did not even think about their lifestyle choices😮💨.The artist did wash their hands, wore a mask, put gloves on (hygiene standard) but that still didn't comfort me (did they wash their hands with soap, long enough? Will particles of tobacco go through the gloves and their mask into my skin? Will I get ill and its all my fault?). I could smell the smoke through my mask. Then we had a break and the artist went out again to smoke; this time round the artist didn't wash their hands, instead they quickly used hand sanitiser and quickly put their gloves on. I was having a fight inside of me, my heart was beating fast etc and I just couldn't voice my opinion. The thing is I kept reassuring myself it was going to be ok, I don't think it would have been bad if they kept washing their hands after smoking its probably the fact that they did it once and that was enough 😥. I have recently been going back to this and wishing I said something but its too late and everytime I see my tattoos it just reminds me. I have been Googling to justify my thoughts for some scientific answer but its not helping. Questions like how effective is hand gel on cigarette hands, handwashing vs hand gel, if gloves really do protect and are they porous. I felt really contaminated and just wanted to leave but it was to late. 6 months later I had another tattoo by another artist in the studio, I had booked this appointment a long time ago and also regretted it as the artist also smokes. I thought she would probably have better hygiene standards but no, she used gel too and this time no mask. So I felt very sick , the smell was too overpowering, I felt (thought) like as she was talking, the tobacco and germs from her mouth would enter my bloodstream. I should have just cancelled the whole thing, and lost my deposit. The tattoo is really bad and it wasn't worth it as I'm now having laser on it 😵💫. I had horrible experiences but the 1st one wasn't as bad as this one. I wish I used my voice. I am never going back there! I really appreciate you for reading this and thank you 🙏🏼💚.
i’m worried that she doesn’t know the subtypes of ocd. i’m so scared to tell people my false thought. i don’t want to get in trouble. the false thought is when i was a kid. i am 15 now. i have to go to a doctor to get a referral to see a specialist. but i don’t know what to say to them. because i don’t want to tell them my false thought just in case they won’t understand. i’m so scared.
im having a hard time, all i do is ruminate.
Hi everyone, thanks for reading. My main theme I struggle with is ROCD, but there’s a lot of real event ocd that fuels it. Pretty much, I’ve been obsessing for almost a year now over an event that happened almost 10 years ago, in which where my partner didn’t treat me very good. I’ve never cared about this before, kinda just let it go as unfortunate, but didn’t care in the grand scheme of things. But last year my OCD latched onto and now it won’t let it go. I feel so much anger and resentment towards my partner for this, and it feels like such a big deal and that I will never get over it. Because it was an event that hurt me, it seems so much harder to let go of, since there is so much feeling involved. I feel anger towards him doing it, and as well as depression that something he did is now making me seek therapy, even if it’s OCD therapy. I’ve done ERP, and yet the obsession and feelings stay. I am just so scared that I will never be able to get over this, and I will feel anger and depression towards him forever. I hate feeling this way, but it just feels like such a big deal and I can’t seem to get over it. Has anybody had an obsession that latched into something negative your partner did to you? Any tips? Thanks
so in february/march i decided to get a kitten. i wasn’t planning to get the kitty that day either, i came to the shelter and connected with them all and felt like i need to take one home. i got the kitty. the next two days i’m exhausted. it was very bad time but i can be extremely impulsive. anyways i had a massive breakdown and took the kitty back and felt guilty about keeping him with my issues. and since then i still get sad because i loved my baby. my chester was the happiest thing that happened to me this year till i ruined everything. i feel so guilty. but i also miss him dearly. i can’t get over anything i jsut woukd do ANYTHING to have him back, but he’s in a new home. i just scared that for once i made a strong connection with something and that he’s my pet soulmate. i love music and i sang to him a lot. sometimes he meow and meow but then fall asleep to my singing and piano. i feel crushed for two reasons 1. i disrupted thay poor kitty and i probably gave him trauma 2. i ruined something so unexpected but special the thoughts won’t leave. i feel awful. please someone have some advice
All I do is ruminate and ruminate and ruminate and it makes me feel like I’m a bad person because of all the real events… 😞😞😞
Does anyone else have the tendency to point out a "negativity" (idk how to put it) in a gift even though you love how it is? Like you would get a pair of jeans that aren't ripped from someone and you love them a lot, then your brain goes "but you like your pants often ripped and they're not ripped that's a problem" and you gotta fight on it saying that you don't care about that part, but now you're stuck comparing it to other ripped jeans and to show yourself you don't care about it not being ripped cause you love it either way. Having to try on other ripped jeans to compare it to that one, and then your brain goes "you're trying to convince yourself to like it" even though you do like the gift. But then you feel bad after for trying on those other ripped jeans or comparing the non ones to it. Later on when you're past that part and put on the non ripped jeans, your brain goes "remember when you disliked the way it was" even though you never did so now you feel guilty about having the gift a bit. It's annoying and my throat begins to have a lump in it and get nauseous over it. It's been happening with gifts recently and I don't know why. But I have it cause I love my gifts and I hate when my brain begins to nitpick.
You ever feel like life , if you were dead you wouldn’t have to go through this anymore, I feel like I don’t wanna die but I also so sick of this
weeks ago i got high, now my girlfriend doesn’t want to get high with the group anymore. and i’m worried that what if i did something to hurt her when high? i’m terrified? im scared i did something when high.
I felt overcome by emotions about an incident almost 3years ago. when my boyfriend broke up with me 3 years ago i hooked up with my roomate. I have carried this and finally couldn’t take it and told him. He says he would’ve preferred to not know and that it’s unnecessary to hurt our relationship like this.
I can’t get over something gross I did years ago, it was nothing Sinister or anything but just body exploration. And something I did that gross to me , everytime I try to figure it out what age I was the more it gets confusing , I feel like confessing to my partner , what do I do? How do I get over this?
I feel like my subconscious makes me suffer for a reason. Like i deserve it for not getting things right
I'm muslim and I got out of a relationship. If you're muslim then yk that this is haram in our religion. I did stuff in the relationship that make me so anxious rn and I keep repeating them in my mind. I feel so guilty about them. The thing I'm anxious about rn is that once I was standing and my ex was also standing in front of me. We were holding hands and then we were close. This is difficult for me to say but then he was kissing my neck which Ik is wrong by itself, and our hands were pressed to my chest. I don't think I thought about that moment before but. He then put our hands away from my chest but I remember liking it there and that I wanted him to touch me. I feel so disgusted rn. I even would think about this before this had occured. I feel guilty and not only religiously but also society wise like what kind of person would people think I am or what would he think of me if he knows that. I should've removed our hands myself but instead I didn't and I wanted it.
i notice that people i used to know or people i don’t know that well let me follow them…. but don’t follow back. this triggers my ocd and makes me feel rejected. i don’t even request people on instagram because i’m scared to be rejected. this makes me feel like a bad person triggers my anxiety any advice would be greatly appreciated
The video was talking about how a person talked to a therapist about there thoughts (not ocd related) and that police had to go to their house Because of this I feel like cancelling my doctors appointment to get a referral to see a OCD specialist. Now I’m terrified that if I open up about my False memory ocd. That I’m going to get in a lot of trouble and my life’s going to be ruined. I’m not even diagnosed yet. I’m so so scared. Help me. What do I do???
can ocd make you worry about consesnt and stuff like that like i continuously ask my partner “hey have i ever done anything without your consent” and then she reassures me that i haven’t done anything without her consent and that i haven’t done anything wrong but my mind does beleive the reassurance. i ask her questions like that so much. infact i asked her minutes ago. i’m so so worried. is this ocd? is this relationship ocd??
I think it’s my ocd. My ocd is trying to tell me that I should breakuo with my girlfriend because of my false memory ocd. It’s making me feel like I want to break up with her just in case the thought is real. Then I can save her the pain. I don’t know. I hate this false thought. The “thought” is from when I was a kid.
Can ocd make you ruminate and do compulsions over thoughts you had before ocd “started” for example; sexual thoughts when i was a young teen. All I can think about now is how wrong it was. And if I really have ocd at all because in the past I liked sexual thoughts. Now it’s killing me inside and I keep asking myself “do you even have ocd?” “What if you still like those thoughts and you pretend to dislike them” “what if your faking ocd” I’m scared to get diagnosed. Is this ocd making me ruminate over past thoughts that I liked?
i was explaining something to someone on here and this other person was saying i was saying something toxic. i explained how sexuality is fluid but they told me that i was being toxic when this person i was talking to is lgbtq. i now have anxiety about being a bad person. i hate it here
I can’t get over something I did 10 years ago , it’s nothin bad or sinister , just sexual stuff , I’m not sure if I just can’t get over it or OCD keeps replaying it and everytime I try and figure out when it was it makes me less certain when it was , what do I do?
What counts as reassurance, is tellin your partner or parent that your havin a bad ocd day , is telling them about your thoughts reassurance, is it only reassurance if you ask em about it to make yourself feel better
I've been doing more "surprise" exposures (like just watching TikToks and if I see a trigger, I try to just watch it and move on like normal) and I'm running into the issue of: now I'm having more intrusive thoughts, and they feel more sticky than they did *before* the exposures. I ask because I don't have access to a therapist to guide me on this, but is this common? It isn't a backdoor spike because I'm, quite frankly, not managing my OCD that well yet to have that happen. I have absolutely seen progress in myself, but I'm really hitting a wall and it feels like I'm getting stuck - and I hate it. Especially while I'm doing everything on my own because I don't want to live like this anymore. :/
whenever i’m not anxious about the future i am constantly ruminating about the past. i’ve had some mental ill/ traumatised friends in the past who have an overwhelming amount of toxic traits over positive. i felt obligated to stay and for about 4 years of my life i was emotionally abused by them. one of them definitely has undiagnosed ASPD and exhibited strong traits of a psychopath. the amount of gaslighting and lying messes with my head and i keep looking back and thinking i’m the problem and i’m the evil person when all i did was love and cherish all my friends. i struggled with bad anger issues so i woukd outburst quite obviously while they are the more calm/ cunning person. it makes me look crazy in front of everyone cuz it’s like “oh look! the crazy person is crying and yelling at their friend” while they act all calm and confused. sometimes this one would have a small smirk when they pushed me over the edge like they were satisfied. i feel very unsafe and vulnerable whenever i thinn about it because i let them all stay in my life for so long. i constantly jump scared whenever i hear a noise at night. im reliving everything and it’s triggering my ocd symptoms. im exhausted. it’s been two years and a half since then and im still reliving everything. please someone give me advice how to move on, let go and just stop. mindfulness doesn’t help all that much when things aren’t great either. please help me with advice someone i’m scared i have depression and that i’m going to be a mental case or something. i feel so un-normal and that every experience i have in the present exacerbated my rumination
I don't know how to explain this.. But I will try... When I was in class 7 there was a girl one year junior than.. She came and sat next to me.. I was and till now I am a very introvert person.. But I wanted to talk to that girl as a friend..I don't why I cried when she was changing the shift to morning.. But she came back to day shift after few days.. I don't know if I was excited to see her.. Presently My hocd always tries to make compulsions ... But eventually the urge of that friendship faded..and she left after some time I didn't bother.. In my senior year again I saw her.. But I never bothered.. I never knew why I was so eager to make me my friend.. I don't know why I cried when she was leaving 😂😂😂😂.. While in my senior year I didn't bother of her.. And I also knew I was acting lame in 7th standard... But when my hocd triggered.. Boom...hocd is trying to tell me that yes she was your first love 😂 but no I didn't want to be with her... But my hocd also says " then why you cried for her" I don't find answers to this... Because I know this how hocd works...
Does anyone here have a comfort show? Mine is the The office. I watch it when I have a lot of anxiety and I feel overwhelmed with thoughts. I’ve seen all seasons multiple times, I guess it just distracts me from reality and since I know each episode I don’t have to deal with anything suspenseful that makes me want to skip anything.
I saw a reply mention how it's important sometimes to not confess intrusive thoughts/worries to others, and I feel like that's true for me. Confessing them caused some negativity in my relationship as it makes my boyfriend worried especially when how I said it gave the feeling I couldn't tell if my thought was real or fake, so my boyfriend couldn't tell either. I deeply worried and get nauseous when I worry if I am hiding something, lying, not being truthful, decietful, etc. If I don't tell a friend or mainly my boyfriend about it. I proceed to confess what it was. Either my brain could come up with a worry of itnrusive thought, I then feel bad about it, and act on the impulse to tell. Or it could be something I've done before that seemed minor at the moment but come back up ehere I overthink it and make it a big thing. This then lead to days of thinking about it, retracing the entire situation, my intentions, what I said, double check messages, scroll through texts and spend hours reading them, trying to remember what I thought about or said, etc. I confess it to someone and often get rhe reassurance is not a big deal or I changed from that time, which helps only for that moment. I'm trying to practice now to hold in what my mind is racing about now, cause at one point I went to my boyfriend nearly every day about what it was since I feared I'll be hiding something if I didn't. Or if I did make a mistake or do something wrong or said something not good/did an action that wasn't, I'll also think about it for days on end and worry if I am the same since it happened, am I a horrible person, did I do something bad, I have to tell someone about it otherwise I'm lying about myself and giving a different impression of me. I'll lose sleep over it, cry, feel sick, don't want to make friends, worry if I'm bad for my boyfriend, etc. A lot of my worries are ridiculous to people around me (even to myself) as it's worrying about the possibilities of something and the changes. When I do confess, it's often a whole full page of it, or I think I wrote two pages before as I typed it out first then sent it. Im currently just logging down/airing out anything that worries me onto a document, notes app, or sometimes here now so I can keep log for whenever I get therapy or to be able to get it out of my mind and not tell others around me. I feel like it helps so far. When I lost one of my friends, they told me that certain things need to be left in the notes app. It wasn't really why I started keeping them down, but to pre-write then eventually I just turned it into a place to vent. Other times it is hard to keep it only to my notes and grow in worry of confessing it. Other times when I think something, I worry if it could be interpreted a different way, what does it mean, etc. And I also look back on situations and worry if I forgot a missing piece that prove that what happened in that situation was 100% my fault and I was a horrible person, or my brain could try and come up with memories that more likely or not didn't happen or it tries to take out of context to fit the narrative that I was horrible in my head. I feel the best way to describe my inner head is two split people arguing non stop. One is rational or very cruel to myself, the other is irritational. Another is where it accuses me or try and create false things and question my motives or interrogate me non stop. My inner head been like this for a long time, with two of me constantly fighting with each other and having split mindsets. I don't know who to listen to as sometimes both can be intrusive or accusational.
Today my brain is an ass*ole. Like it's super silly. I refused to do some things (that i usually do); because i was really tired. My BRAIN got mad and started SCREAMING with a LOT of images and thoughts. The best ones: I was closing the windows and my brain kept telling me "behind you" then it would made me think about the possibility of some paranormal creature running towards me to kill me/makes me suffer. I went to bed; new (all white) sheets. I fit in, and my brain made me think "wow it's like the white sheets you put on dead people! *Image of me dead laying under a cover* probably it's a sign that you are near to the end. This one in particular scared the sh*t out of me but also made me laugh really hard
Currently going to talk therapy and nothing has changed, it honestly feels like I’m just wasting my time, I feel like I should be going to therapy with someone trained in ocd because just having general conversation with a therapist isn’t doing anything.
Can ocd cause intrusive feelings? Trying to make me think I miss/want someone that I don't have feelings for? Can ocd make you think you have feelings when you dont?
I have real event ocd and false memory ocd. These two subtypes make it very hard to love my husband. Everytime I try, I feel nothing but immense Shane and guilt. I have a confession compulsion and I feel like I can't have him the way I want unless I confess every little thing. It's really eating away at me these days
Hey everyone, what is that feeling when good things come to you or happen to you and you feel like you don’t deserve it at all. Like today was my birthday, I just turned 20, I also happened to have my drivers test early in the morning and I passed thankfully, so now I have my license and am going to start an amazing job soon that I’ve been wanting for months, but I just feel like I don’t deserve any of it, I feel like a monster who is just continuing life having potentially, maybe done something horrific and unforgivable, idk, I want to say that it’s impostor syndrome, but I don’t like throwing phrases around without fully knowing, but either way, it sucks to not be able to enjoy your own successes
Great… and now the show Harley Quinn has misrepresented OCD… 😞😞😞
I was doing a compulsion at my work’s bathroom and have been there for a little while, then right after i did it, some girl came in and complimented my shirt and I did it to her too and we talked and geeked out about the thrift store for a bit and it was a nice conversation. If I weren’t doing a compulsion, I probably wouldn’t have been there as she came in and I would not have had a nice small talk. Its’s weird because, awhile ago I was just DREADING my compulsions because it backfired hard on me last night (accidentally deleted text messages older than 1 year and I was starting to associate that compulsions are really negative and therefore, I can do it less! but now it actually had a nice outcome for me, so now I think compulsions are.. nice??? I don’t know. I don’t even know if I should be making coincidences and connections with those because this happened before too where I was doing a compulsion at my workplace and right after I did that, someone came in the room who I had a good small talk with, and I feel relieved because I finished the urge before someone came in. And maybe it was a nice outcome? I don’t know. Now I’m starting to dislike compulsions LESS now, maybe it can be nice..? Or maybe I’m being deceived?