Relationship OCD - Community
What exactly does self-reassurance look like and is it something to avoid? When I feel anxious about my relationship with my partner, I often think to myself "I love him" even when I'm scared i don't, just to remind myself of the truth. Is this self-reassurance? I tend to feel better afterwards, but should I try NOT to think that?
I’m starting to wonder if my attraction to my boyfriend has always been quite low but I never wanted to accept it because he’s the type of person I’d like to marry. Almost like I felt as though I SHOULD like him because he was so nice. Maybe that’s why I experienced anxiety. Maybe I do need to break up with him and I’m simply being selfish.
I've had a bad ending w my ex, it is a long story and i've been together with my best friend for almost 4 years now but i kind of hold a grudge against my ex for what she's done for example isolating me from my friends and keeping me at home causing me to dropout in HS in my 2nd year, i've talked to her as friends before but it would turn out kind of passive aggressive and i was like why don't you just say sorry and be friends so you don't have the weight of this stupid grudge anymore, because she's the type to talk back on alot of people as well, i'm not perfect either i've had anger issues and whatever but what if i like her still what if i'm lying to my gf One thought of like seeinf her in person and being embarrassed that my ex is there makes me feel like what if i like her again and i know i don't, but i have a problem woth trying to impress people and grt validation from them and seem to don't know the difference with a good friend rs and a romantic one in some way i'm just used to being romantic so i'm just scared of connecting to people aaah
I have a twin sister and in their relationship they love each other so much and I know It’s not a good idea to compare relationship but they seem to love them more than in my personnal relationship and that makes me question if I ever loved my boyfriend and it’s takes this doubts like I’m a lesbian etc because i think I have hocd too so yea.. any help
Im in a really difficult place. I have had ROCD symptoms ever since dating my now husband. My doubts began to be about my love for him, is he the one, etc. When we got engaged and before that I was also filled with questions about what do I want with my life and fears of getting married keeping me from fulfilling/exploring my dreams. Fast forward and we have been married for 2 years. I still had those doubts but developed a fear of sex (had sex related ocd themes as a teenager) and this has made intimacy hard and put a strain on our relationship. We have been doing couples therapy for intimacy but it hasnt really helped. I am thinking I need ERP help, because even without physical intimacy, I am still filled with fears related to sex that I obsess over. The strain of all this and my intrusive thoughts have also led me to contemplate divorce. These intrusive thoughts have left me feeling depressed, loss of appetite, unable to sleep. Recently my husband expressed sadness about our lack of intimacy and my doubts about wanting to have kids (his big dream). It triggered even more anxiety and I kept thinking, should we just end this now? I have no energy to plan for kids and one of my obsessions is "do I really want kids? What if I dont?" I didnt dare say that though, I dont want to hurt him and I do love him, he is what I would want in a life partner. But I am struggling so much with my anxiety that its making it hard for me to function. How do I handle all of this when it feels so real and when there seem to be actual reasons for giving up on our relationship (fear of engaging in sex, not sure if I want kids). I would love to have the type of carefree life I see other couples have but I cant deal with all this. I feel stuck, dont want to do something I regret. My worst fear is hurting him. I have struggled to see all this as OCD since it overlaps with life things that feel so real. Wouldnt it make sense to call it quits if sex is problematic? But my thinking is obsessive and I have a history of OCD. Why do I keep feeling like giving up on us and how do I turn this around? Its hard.
I have no symptoms and it’s like I really want to break up! I am having anxiety but this doesn’t feel like the standard ROCD at all.. I kept crying and I just want to be how I was again! My relationship means a lot to me despite the issues that it has right now! I know deep down my feelings are still there…. My emotional connection feels gone… I constantly feel this.. I can’t tell if I just want relief or if I actually wanna break up.. it hurts bc I love him… everyday is a constant battle with myself and I hate it… 😢 I just want to love him again!
why can’t people just be happy with their first love?? like why are people so hung up on dating around i don’t get it. i just want to be happy with my first love but i feel like i can’t knowing that so many people say you should not and that you should date around before settling down. is this true in your experiences?
My brain can’t stop trying to figure out my sexuality and it’s horrible. I can find both men and women attractive so thought I might be bi, but then I don’t often want sex with my boyfriend so I’m worried I could be a lesbian. I can identify with bi or asexual quite happily but thinking about being a lesbian fills me with so much dread and anxiety. On Saturday I had the best day with my boyfriend. I felt so in love for most of the day which was a triumph considering I’ve had ROCD for the whole of the relationship. There was a time I looked at him and I honestly could’ve cried because I loved him that much. Surely I wouldn’t feel like that if I was a lesbian? I’ve always had crushes on boys growing up, but they were always romantic ones. When I thought of love growing up it was always romantic, I always felt a little alienated because I wasn’t interested in sex and sexual acts. Now, I enjoy sexual things with my boyfriend but he has to work to get me in the mood. I’m worried this means I’m not sexually attracted to him and what this means. But the love I feel sometimes is so intense and fills me with happiness. My mind can’t rest until I’ve figured it out
I had a dream I was with my partner and I was doing stuff with him but he looked really ugly in the dream like chunky. It made me really sad in the dream and I started getting intrusive thoughts like “see you were never attracted to him”. And yesterday I was on t he lesbian subbreddit and one girl said when she had a boyfriend she would just analyze the physical sensations. At the very beginning of our relationship I would do that as well sometimes when I felt awkward or insecure or anxious. My memory of him feels so twisted like I never truly loved him and like it was all for validation but I’ve done that before and my boyfriend feels nothing like that. He’s so pure and the way I feel or well felt idk anymore about him was so pure. He was the first guy that made me put down my walls and start being more considerate of others needs and how to be kind and sweet. He made me feel like a kid on Christmas and everytime I’m around him I feel like I’m flying. Intimacy has been a rough path due to my anxiety and ocd but I just want him like that. Only him. Why does my mind betray me like this ??? :(
I look at him and I feel almost nothing anymore. It’s worse when he’s away. And when we are together. It flip flops.. I don’t feel like myself anymore. I’m trying but, I haven’t in a long time. I keep thinking that i’m just in this relationship for my own sake. For my own pleasure and that kills me. This has taken over my life. Not to mention, I keep seeing angel numbers. I feel like I’ve been dealing with this for soo long that im giving into all my thoughts and now they seem real. I just want to cry. I want a life with him.. but it’s so hard.. I don’t wanna give up on us.. but it’s so hard
Sometimes I get so upset with myself. My bf and I have been dating for 1 year & 6 month but it was about 5 months ago that I was never dealing with OCD or even had any idea of all the other OCDs, like that ones I'm dealing with now. I never questioned myself or relationship with my bf. I gotten better over time but it just so heart breaking to me. I can't stop comparing the person I used to be. I was "normal" and happy, my life and relationship was going great, but now I often cry to my bf and always tell him "I'm sorry this is the me that you get now, I wish all this would have happened before I met you". It's just heavy on my heart sometime.
I feel better with my hocd, but the attraction to men didn’t come back. It’s even worse :-(. I don’t know why. I thought when I feel better with hocd the attraction come back. And now I feel I have even less attraction to my boyfriend than at the beginning of hocd. I feel even disgust when we have sex or we kiss :-(
I’ve started with SOOCD after experiencing ROCD for months. All I know is that I want to stay with my boyfriend. I love him and can’t let him go but my thoughts are telling me I should as he deserves someone better. I fall down when I compare what I want in a relationship versus what society tells us we should want in a relationship. Can we define our own relationships? I never used to compare so much in past relationships to media representations of love and it’s really bringing me down
There are sometimes where I just feel like my mind is pushing me to give up and I fear my decision to stay committed isn’t strong enough because it isn’t associated with as strong of a feeling. I was wondering how others who struggle with ROCD describe making the mental decision not to leave. During episodes I tell myself to commit regardless, but sometimes it feels hollow(?), and I’m wondering if that’s ok. Is your mental act of committing associated with some sort of feeling or is it more of a cognitive decision to push past those urges and stay?
Does anyone else have this huge fear that they are going to sexually assault someone or hurt someone in their sleep? I have this fear that like I definitely did that to my bf and I just can't fully remember. I have very vivid dreams and I already sleep talk so I'm worried the ocd may cause me to do stuff in my sleep or like the meds I'm on. I'm like freaking out because this is something you can't even be sure about.
I want to know more about this so if u wanna answer just put the number infront of your answer 1. Is it hard to connect with your SO but you still love them. Or do you think your not connected but you are? 2. Have you ever had the whole do you really want him? Because he isnt this or that? Like constant doubt. But in reality that person is and that. 3. How can i fall asleep in his arms again without having worry or doubt or anxiety??
I have a boyfriend and for as long as i can remember ive always had an interest in boys. Never girls. One thing i regret is watching pxrn and it was girl on girl so my brain uses that against me all the time. Anyways, when i wear a hoodie or a hat i feel like im portraying that im gay or im afraid i look gay:(.
I had my first ERP appointment yesterday and it went pretty well. Yesterday I also met with my boyfriend on if we continue or break up. We broke up. It sucks that he didn’t feel heard because my ROCD made everything super extreme,made me not see things clearly, and I wasn’t always the nicest. It ended well and neither of us really wanted to do it, and we may be friends which I think will be easier on my brain, but I know that’s still hard. It just sucks. But I’m glad ERP is going to get me to feel more normal again
Ugh. Seriously stressing here… can’t tell if I actually like the guy I’m dating or if if I’m lying to myself. I can’t stop questioning if my feelings towards him are real. The what if thoughts keep flooding my brain. Of course I turn to Google and it’s like “that because you don’t really like him” and now I’m freaking out even more. I would hate to lead him on any longer and I would never be able to forgive myself if I am .. how do I know if this is Ocd or if I really don’t like him!?
I am in a really bad spot with my ROCD right now. I have been having terrible fears that I married the wrong person and that I don’t actually love him. One of my obsessions has been surrounding a guy friend of mine from a few years ago and wondering if I would’ve been better off married to him (we never dated, I was dating my husband then). But now I’m worried because If OCD attaches to what we love and value most, I’m concerned that I truly love that other guy - and even if I am having OCD, the fact that I’m obsessing over him/his wife and the idea I might’ve been better with him, doesn’t that mean something??? Anyone else experience this? I feel so beat down.
I can feel myself becoming my thoughts!!!!! What do I do each day it’s more real and today and yesterday evening it feels like it’s 100% reality. Idk what to do?!?!? It’s like it doesn’t even bother me any more and then every now and then I have a moment of clarity where I feel and think the way I want to and then the OCD comes back even more real and strong!!!
Can your OCD thoughts become habit? I’ve noticed with a couple of big, long lasting themes that I’ll have a period of really high anxiety and constant rumination when a theme is really new. Then, after 6+ months the anxiety dies down but I’m still thinking about the thought, ruminating on it and believing it. Like now, I’m still ruminating and thinking about not loving my boyfriend. It doesn’t cause me to panic much, it’s just something I think about a lot. But I also have those “omg I love him so much” moments with him. I’m wondering if the brain thinks a thought for so long it just gets used to thinking it and once it doesn’t cause much anxiety anymore it’ll slowly just forget about it? This happened with Health OCD but ROCD has been a little more stubborn
I am very unhappy with my life… I don’t know if it’s my depression making me believe I don’t love him anymore but I am very unhappy. I’m depressed and unhappy about everything in my life.. Three days ago I was so happy. I knew I loved my partner. No obsessing nothing… right now it’s like I don’t care anymore… I don’t care how I feel… it’s like my brain is not allowing me to be happy…. I don’t know if I can say if this is ROCD anymore… it’s like I have no more symptoms and it’s like I know my truth…
I’ve been struggling with my ROCD again lately and it’s making me panic that I don’t wanna be with my fiancé. Of course the stress of that makes me snappy with him so it only makes things worse. idk what to do about it I try my erp it just seems like it keeps budding back up. Sometimes I wish I had a normal brain. Just having such a hard time lately. I’ll be happy one minute then I get triggered and when it’s about him it sticks..
Yep it’s definitely my ROCD. Once I started to cool down on the thought another one came in. Now I feel like I have to confess a thousand things at once. I lied one time a year ago. And now I feel like I have to tell him every fucking detail. I’m trying so hard to resist. It’s very hard. Any tips?
Has anyone suffered from engagement anxiety??? I am struggling with intense doubts and fears - I am trying to work through it but it’s really hard. I really love my partner, my family loves him, and there are no red flags but I don’t want to get engaged when I’m spiraling so bad so I’ll probably wait. The thing is every time the engagement seems real and that it’s happening soon, I freak out and get so anxious. Any tips????
i really want to delete tik tok so bad because there are times when i get 3 posts in a row about toxic relationships. these send me into a spiral especially when i’m afraid these posts in a row are a “sign”. i have a friend that has been in a terrible relationship before and she even tells me my relationship isn’t bad. but tik tok always sends me spiraling afraid that my relationship is secretly awful and toxic or ab*sive in any way
i know i shouldn’t and isn’t doing me any good but i feel so helpless. when i think of him, i feel anxious, when i think of a future where is, i get anxious, when i think that maybe this is all not real and i’m making it up, i get anxious. i have genuinely felt so alone and scared and angry before. i feel so upset that i let this happen and so scared that this is it. i can’t even think of the good time because all they do is make me more upset. i have intrusive thoughts all the time like “you could just break up with him right now and it would all be over” or like “you’re going home this weekend you can finally do it in person.” please someone give me advice. i don’t want reassurance, just a friend please
I have therapy tomorrow but I need some serious comfort or advice. Saw a video in the morning where someone casually mentioned having been in a relationship that they didn’t want to be in for a year because they didn’t have the guts to break up. Have been anxious ever since. I feel like I am loosing touch with my girlfriend more and more by the day and I am just in denial of having fallen out of love. This is hell. I don’t want this to be true.
I am getting really sad bc it’s like I really wanna break up.. I obsessed all day asking myself if I love him…. I want my relationship back… to where we could talk normally and just enjoy each other’s company… I don’t wanna end it… but then I think able his flaws and other issues… I just cried holding him… I just want to love my partner… I know you can’t force love. But I know a mixture of some real issues and ROCD destroyed it… I wanna work on them but what if in the end… it was never ROCD…? What if I just don’t want him anymore!?…
I’m zoning in on my ROCD based themes, again. I feel so guilty. I should feel at least something towards my boyfriend. I just feel nothing. No spark and no excitement. But of course when I think of future trips or plans that we have laid out I feel the twinge of giddiness start up. But other than that…I feel nothing. Nada. Zilch. Why? I feel so upset about it.
Lately during the mornings, I have been waking up with this extreme anxiety. With out any intrusive thoughts. It makes me worry that the thoughts were true. But then once the day starts to go on I feel better. I have been having more moments of clarity. But the morning are horrible. I am worried that the anxious feelings will stay and that’s it’s not caused by ocd. The toughest obstacle to get over right now is sex. I have been avoiding it for about three weeks. Im terrified that it will reveal some kind of truth. Or the thoughts will bumbard me. Im worried I won’t feel connected to my partner and it will feel like some random hook up. This ROCD makes everything so hard. When I look at him sometimes I feel like I don’t even know who he is.
A couple days ago I spent a good majority of the day with my bf. It was one of the first completely good days I've had in a while. While I still got some intrusive thoughts, I was able to ignore them easily. At long last I was able to look into his eyes and feel only that overwhelming love without the taint of anxiety, be able to kiss and cuddle and everything else without an annoying lingering thought in the back. I teared up a couple times because I felt like I had finally made some progress and will be able to love him fully like he deserves. Yesterday my rOCD started up again, so I just wanted to remind myself that it isn't completely hopeless. The more I work at overcoming it, the more days like that day will occur, and eventually they will become the majority. It will get better, for me and everyone else on this app. :)
I’ve seen a few people talking about rocd where they get fears they aren’t attracted to or in love with their partner, I’ve gotten thoughts like this before. However, I also get the opposite where I get afraid my partner isn’t attracted to or in love with me and that they will leave me soon. This leads to a lot of reassurance seeking like asking if they hate me or are sick of me etc. I try really hard to suppress it because I know that can push someone away. I’m just wondering if anyone else struggles with this or could this be something else like attachment issues?
Does anyone else ever wish they felt as in love as their partner? I know my boyfriend fell in love with me in the “traditional” infatuation, crush, nearly love at first sight kind of way. I always wish I had that with him, at least the intense infatuation. I think I had some infatuation but because I was always overthinking I missed it completely. It feels like because I didn’t feel intense infatuation I can’t be in love. Then, wishing I feel as in love as my boyfriend makes me believe I’m not at all and I don’t love him. I don’t even feel anxious anymore because it’s been like 8 months of going through this, just my mind won’t stop trying to find the answer
Okay so I really reallyyy need someone to talk to or get advice from. And I need them to be real with me and really be honest. Because I literally have no friends and so I have no one to talk to. So me and my boyfriend were driving to the city that is near us to eat food and have a good time. As we were in the car, i was having anxiety with him driving and so I told him to be careful and he got super defensive and started raising his voice at me telling me that like “I’m not stupid” and “you don’t know what I’ve been through in my childhood” and he just started a whole rant. And I understand him but then out of nowhere he started to even get defensive towards me because I told him to be careful. And so he even started to say “I’ll literally stop talking to you and I’ll get over it” and he just kept going. I’m kind of sensitive and I didn’t really like the things he was telling me so I started to get emotional and trying to calm him down and it even got worst. He also knows I overthink a lot and he was saying “I don’t give a fuck what is going on in your head, you need to stop being like that” when I don’t feel like I was doing anything. Literally the whole day was bad for us. And when we were in public, he was being super nice to everyone and it just made me sad how he’s not like that with me so now I’m just trying to explain how I feel with him but always gets defensive and brings up how I act so we can never really have an actual conversation about it. And now I don’t know what to do or if I’m just over reacting. It just makes me upset how he acts like he’s the only one going through something and I don’t know the right words I should tell him or if I even should explain myself
I just feeling this awful feeling of genuinely not liking my boyfriend. It feels so real. I was just thinking about how I respond to him sometimes when I say I do like and I feel like I'm lying and I have equated this to being ingenuine to him and myself and that I am lying and genuinely don't like him. I'm shaking and feel like I cant escape how real this feels. What if it's all in my head that I'm even having intrusive thoughts or feelings? Or what of the only thing "discomforting" about this is that I can't accept it or maybe I'm too reliant on him which is why I can't let go? I struggle to feel emotionally and romantically connected, I feel like it's a sign and I'm just denying it. I judge his appearance. I judge everything. I feel like he's invested in a way I'm not. I don't know what to do. Please, it's never felt this real .... :(
These feelings are all so subtle. It feels like I really want it. I’ve been dealing with this for almost a year and it just keeps feeling more like the truth. Every time we even bicker it feels like confirmation or something. We got into a fight a couple days ago and my brain is very latched on to the fact that I’m still upset and it keeps making me feel like I want to break up with him and it worries me. I don’t want to but I feel like everything has changed me forever
Recently Ive been lashing out at my boyfriend more than usual and idk if it’s cause I’m taking Zoloft, or if I’m just agitated about where I stand with this ocd situation. But it’s dawned on me that I might be a toxic partner to my boyfriend and I feel really guilty. He started crying after I had gave him an attitude because he wants me to stop picking at my skin. I assume that was his last straw and I made him feel sad and he started crying. I realize my faults in that i yell when we argue, I sometimes place blame on him, I don’t like to accept that I’m wrong a lot. I’m just feeling really guilty and I just want to be better for the sake of our relationship and I feel like this rocd is just making things worse. What I’m trying to ask is, has anyone ever felt this guilt with rocd ? About not being a good partner? Or is this beyond rocd?
Hi Everyone, I had a quick question and I’m looking to see if someone in this community might be able to help. I added a trigger warning because I wanted to be sensitive to the community, though I don’t believe there’s anything that could be too triggering here hopefully. My girlfriend is diagnosed with OCD. We’ve lived together for 6 months and it hasn’t been the easiest, though, I’m trying my best to make it work because I truly do love this person. She will constantly ask me for small favors which include: - grabbing food for her while she stays on the couch to not have to clean her feet or take her socks off before walking on the ground. - having me washing the clothes all the time, because she feels that I use overall less amounts of cleaning products therefore it’s less intoxicating for her. - getting up to get alcohol wipes because her dog licked her hand and she thinks her dog’s mouth is dirty - get up to wipe my dogs butt after she poops because it could be dirty. These are all small examples, however they will happen constantly. I try my best to not let them bother me, however, I’d like to think that any person would be bother if they were asked to do something and they had to drop what they were doing in that moment or risk their partners getting triggered. I understand that sometimes she will need help, and truly I don’t mind doing most things for her, however, often times her “asking” me for things comes out in a very demanding way. She will often times demand for things to be done without asking “please” or kindly. This bothers me and I’ve expressed this to her. Tonight, she told me that she wanted to have certain pants washed so she could use them tomorrow. To which I responded kindly, “yeah that’s great I’m sure you can get them washed by tonight”. Her response, “I wanted you to wash them”. I responded by saying, “can you wash them yourself this time?” She then proceeded to getting upset and putting them to wash. In all honesty, I would have been 1000% more inclined to do it for her without any “buts”, however, it was the way she asked or rather told me. If she had just asked “hey do you think you could please do this, or do that for me?”, I wouldn’t even care at all. So the big question, tonight she claimed that her OCD is what isn’t allowing her to say “please” or ask kindly for favors. I understand in “triggered” stages that could be more common and I wouldn’t expect someone to take their time to ask for things nicely when they are triggered or panicking. However, for simple favors in order to avoid them going through certain routine OCD rituals (hand washing, cleaning, etc) is it normal or common for someone with OCD to just simply not be able to say PLEASE or ask nicely if I’m doing a favor for them? I was raised in a household where asking politely and showing others respect is a must. I’ve explained this however, she claims that she isn’t capable of doing this because of her OCD. Is this a real or known thing? I appreciate any feedback, insight or support with this matter. I truly don’t mind doing 100% of the things in the house, my only request is that I’m asked respectfully or politely to do them. Is this asking for too much?
does anyone here relate to like putting yourself in these imagined scenarios to “test” what you would do/say/think/feel? like for example, for my so-ocd, i try to imagine going on a date w a woman and i try and think about how it would feel and be for me to see if i’m gay. or for my rocd i’ll imagine the “opportunity” to cheat on my boyfriend with an old fling. my health anxiety i’ll imagine if i did accidentally get pregnant and the process of that fear and complication. it’s so awful :/ but does anyone else do this? and also any words of love and support would be lovely, i really need my community rn.
Really worried I dont love my boyfriend. Everyone says you'll know if you do love someone but I feel like I dont know :( I feel so so so bad about this. I dont know if its ocd and I'm really scared. I keep thinking what if I'd be happier with someone else. I dont think about him during the day that much. He says when I look at him he can tell that I love him but I keep worrying I actually don't and only like him as a friend, we do make out and stuff but I worry that it doesn't mean I love him even if we do :( I feel safe and happy when I'm with him but what if its not enough. What does love even feel like anyway? Sometimes I just want to be on my own or spend time by myself, I havent been able to see him as often because my anxiety has been bad but now im worrying that I dont really want to see him and what if it's actually true though? Im attracted to women as well and it makes me worry if im actually a lesbian. I dont know I just feel so bad right now.
The constant feeling of my anxiety and feelings making me feel like I don't want or love my boyfriend and to break up 😔 it makes me feel like I do want this feeling and i want to feel this way towards him when i don't 😔 but its such a convincing feeling, it makes me feel like thats how i really feel towards him, i feel so numb i don't even have any feeling to cry about him or even have the thought of losing him (that usually makes me cry) i don't have the feeling of crying and it really worries me 😔 what if this is how i generally feel? 😢
Haven’t gone to therapy yet. But feeling a bit better than I was.. I know I still love him but then I get these strange feelings that deep down I don’t that I want someone else… when I don’t… 😞 my head points out people at work like it’s saying Ohhh look he’s attractive or someone else is… I’m worried bc I feel calmer… I know I’m not better yet… i have touched him a lot more. But im worried what if I’m just obligated to be with him… 😞
I’m not sure if this is a product of previous trauma or my ocd (possibly both). But I’ve been having obsessions of my partner cheating on me. So bad I’m convinced it’s happening because I can sense the smallest detail “off” about him? I can acknowledge it’s irrational when I’m a calm state of mind but whenever the obsessions come back it feels so real and my anxious brain is convinced
i feel so horrible because of these thoughts about not liking my boyfriend or thinking i’m gonna break up with him. it’s really upsetting me i just don’t know to deal with it all because it’s always when i’m not with him i get them i just need some motivation to try and no give up
Every time my partner would like to be sexually intimate in any small way, I just freeze up and start to get emotionally disconnected. Why does that happen? It makes me think it's because I don't like him but I do :/ It's hard to feel this way and emotionally disconnected in general. It feels like I'm lying to myself....idk what to do
When I’m with the guy I’m talking to I feel like I question less when I’m with him. Like I feel like I know I like him when I’m with him but when I leave him I start questioning my feelings and attraction to him etc. is this an ocd thing?
I've been doing really well the last couple of weeks. Been feeling really connected and in love with my partner. Yesterday some thoughts crept in so I did an exposure. I decide to revisit the exposure this morning just to prove that I'm not afraid of it. I've been managing all day but it hasn't been too easy. I'm not afraid but I am uncomfortable and anxious and I can't seem to stop checking. Anyway, I know I can handle it and it will pass in time. Thanks for reading this and I hope you're managing! 🥲💗
In my mind it feels like I want to be with any other girl or guy than my girlfriend. I am straight but it try’s to take that away from me also. even the littlest things makes me anxious, example like listening to a song that she likes or seeing her hoodies in my room. it’s ridiculous because deep down all i want is her but it seems impossible to think that. this ocd is driving me nuts it makes me believe that she is so unattractive and anyone else would be better for me and would make me happier. even looking at pictures of us doesn’t help, almost makes it worse and makes me think she is definitely not for me when she is litterly my type and her personality is amazing. i left college to figure this out and we are now broken up, but she knows everything about my OCD and we aren’t in contact right now but all i do is obsess about wanting to be with her again in the future but how could i if i repeatedly tell myself she is ugly and not for me? makes no sense man. Any Advice out there ? I’m so confused and sick from this. Makes me think i like talking bad about her and it’s terrible and doesn’t seem like my personality at all.
Some days it's really hard, because my obsessions and compulsions thoroughly ruined my relationships since I was young. All I want to do is run, all I want is comfort. I'm so scared. I pulled my back bad I'm trying not to give into the compulsions of making it a bigger deal than it is but I am so terrified it won't be taken seriously. It's effed up because if I complain too much it isn't taken seriously, obviously... I just want someone to comfort me and help me but I need to help myself.
OCD is taking such a toll on my relationship. I feel the need to check in with my boyfriend all the time, ask him questions for reassurance and get annoyed when I can’t “control” some of his behaviors. Sometimes he get really mad at me, which I know is understandable when I invade his privacy, but then it leads to me thinking he isn’t the one. Does anyone have advice to stop these thoughts or end the cycle? Or even just letting go a little
Does anyone else ever ask themselves if they love their partner and sometimes the answer is no and sometimes the answer is yes? Is asking myself this a compulsion if most of the time I don’t get the answer I want? Also, in an Awaken into Love video, she suggested that if you tell yourself something for long enough you’ll believe it so I’m wondering if I’ve obsessed so long over whether or not I love my boyfriend that I truly believe I don’t love him.
Is ignoring the discomfort and just trying to go on with my day the same thing as avoidance? I really struggle with the concept of “sitting with” the feelings. I honestly just get too annoyed and tired to deal with them and just try to pretend they don’t exist and everything’s is normal.
Has anyone with ROCD felt guilty that a person who is not their partner comforted them in a situation? I’ve been experiencing a huge breach of trust in someone close to me being arrested. My partner is extremely sensitive to the crime this person was arrested for, and as a result we’ve both been experiencing a lot of anxiety, if for different reasons. I reached out to a friend to talk about this, and she made me feel so comforted and seen in a way that my partner wasn’t able to this time. It helped me a lot, but then that triggered my OCD that my partnership isn’t “right” since it wasn’t my partner giving that comfort. I know that feeling is irrational, and I’m sitting with the “wrongness”. It’s a strange thing, and it feels so isolating. I’m not looking for reassurance, but has anyone experienced something similar?
I have realized I will probably live forever having these intrusive thoughts and I can only manage the way I react and the attention I pay to them. Living with Rocd is something I have come to terms with and every day I just try to manage it in a possible way. The worst days though are those which are supposed to be cool and peaceful for most people such as Sundays, holidays, trips or just some days I don't have many things to do. I really don't know why it attacks me the most during these days but it is maybe because my mind wants to convince me that I just can't feel free and calm and I MUST feel anxious and terrified by Rocd. Ocd in general wants to keep us going in the same cycle, doing the same things, feeling the same fear. Why do we have to live like that?? It seems like a never ending fight...I know how it goes but I just can't accept that it will torture me for maybe the rest of my life...I wish I didn't have it in the first place but that's my destiny which I am sad to accept...
I can’t stop feeling like I need to know I love him and what love feels like so I know I do? I feel like if you love someone then you should just know consistently. I’ve had moments when I know I love him but I’m constantly monitoring whether I love him 24/7. This is my first long term relationship in a long time and I don’t know what it should feel like after 9 months
I feel clingy toward someone. Every time I see her, I want to give her a hug, but I'm able to resist the urge. She have showed signs that she cares about me. I'm constantly thinking of her, which makes it difficult to focus on tasks, falling asleep, and not eating much. How do I stop obsessing over this person?
Curious if anyone has this issue… I’m in a loving relationship with the girl of my dreams. Literally nothing in our relationship is negative except for my anxiety. I always sabotage myself when I start thinking that “what if”. For example we booked a trip to Hawaii but what if we break up. Or, I want my mom to plan her graduation party but what if we arn’t together by that time. This starts my spiralling and I get really sad because I dont want to lose these things. The what if kills me. It’s almost like I don’t know how to live in the moment and my mind won’t let me be happy. The spiralling puts me in a terrible mood which makes me think that we need to separate which then breaks my heart even more. I start doing complusions like kissing her more pictures of her (which I realize is weird) and I start journaling. When I read the journals on another day I seem like a crazy person! Please give me tips
Ive felt false attraction, arousal and physical pleasure at men bc of soocd. Now I'm feeling the opposite for women and female genitals. I feel like.... An intense repulsion to female genitals that wasn't there even during the multiple nights I spent with my girlfriend. This is very new and even if it's not real which is a real possibility. It gets in the way of my day with my gf and makes me doubt if we should be together. How should I deal with feeling this way?
So i have had continuous intrusive thots about my boyfriends roommate and they just tell me that he is a better match for me and stuff like that even though i love my boyfriend and i wanna be with him ajd the thots make me so anxious ajd make me feel really guilty ajd like i should break up with my boyfriend:( i don’t want to though i just don’t know if it’s my ocd making these things up or if this is how i acraully feel. I feel so horrible and i can’t stop thinking about it please I need some perspective?
I’ve been talking to this guy for awhile now. But it’s so hard to get myself to be open / vulnerable with him. (I have a fear of intimacy) but more so I can’t stop questioning and checking for my attraction 24/7 “what if he’s not the one” “what if he is gonna hurt me” “do I really like him? How do I know?” “What if I really don’t like him because I’m a lesbian?” “What if you hurt him because u don’t really like or / because you’re in denial?” I’m really struggling and it sucks. Is this ocd?! Or do I really not like him?
This is how I've found erp and ocd to work. So, say I want to do a compulsion, let's say ruminating on something someone said to me for example: Someone said "you're so defensive now, I don't like it at all" If I engage with this memory, I get thoughts surrounding it which stresses me out. During this process I believe thoughts like "I need to stop being defensive or they will leave me. I'm a bad person and I'm always defensive." See here I've created a story, based on black and white thinking as the anxiety turned off the part that rules the critical thinking skills in the brain. Ocd gives us these intrusive and anxiety provoking thoughts. It pokes at us until it gets a reaction. If our reaction instead is calm, it doesn't provoke us anymore. So, the erp around this would be noticing what's going on and sitting with the thoughts "maybe I am defensive all the time, and maybe they will leave me" (calm and collected reaction) the anxiety might spike again, then try again. It will be okay, it is safe. Eventually the anxiety passes! After going through the anxiety I am on the other side of it. And as always, after erp, I can now clearly see how ridiculous my thoughts were, due to my critical thinking skills now being back, (since the anxiety is better.) This is how I get by! I hope it helps someone.
Anyone else's brain get stuck on someone your heart doesn't know you have romantic feelings for? Or just me? I know i don't like her, I know in the heat of SOOCD I decided to like her because she felt like an option, but I got attached. I know i only like men and yet my mind won't stop going back to her
Going to therapy today… Nervous…. I know I love him. Why can’t I just be normal again…. Do I just don’t want him anymore… I know why I love him.. like I love his blue eyes, his smile, his funny personality, he is talent and he always makes me such yummy dinners. ☺️ But why don’t I feel right!?
My thoughts just feel so real sometimes and I get so overwhelmed by them and by like my head I just wish I could be normal like it’s frustrating and it’s like I don’t know what to believe like I get like what if it is true but I’m telling myself it’s not but truthfully I don’t think the thoughts are true Ik that’s not what I want but my brain and the ocd obsess over like “what if it is”
how to i know I have rocd? like i get i truisive thots about another guy even though i love my boyfriend like so much. i feel like the thoughts are real but they give me so much anxiety. am i a bad person what do i do when I get these thoughts? like what is real and what is my ocd like it just makes me feel so guilty and like a horrible person!
I feel like i am just gay. I can't stand to talk to my boyfriend right now I get riddled with guilt and anxiety. I feel like i want to be with women at this point and that if I'm not with them, I'll be living a life of lies. I feel so sad and I'm in so much pain because I need to leave my boyfriend... Everything just feels way to real for it to be not true.
Does anyone worry they are using ROCD as an excuse to not face their true feelings? I think I’m numb but at the same time I wanna cry. Lately I’ve experienced low symptoms I’ve read so many posts throughout the 2 years I’ve been suffering. My partner believes I’ve gotten everyone else’s experience mixed up with my own… he is right. But now that I am trying not to bring the feelings back and just deal with it. I feel off completely… I just wanna cry… I asked my partner for a hug 3 Times yesterday bc I was very sad and just wanted to hug him. Without trying to feel anything I just don’t feel right… like everything he talks about seems boring…. 😢 it’s really upsetting me
Hello everyone! I am really having a tough time. My boyfriend of 5 years recently began talking about marriage and wanting to propose to me and I immediately began to panic. I couldn’t imagine life without him but as soon as he said the word marriage I began to freak out. My brain began comparing him to past relationships and hyper focusing on all the negative that I couldn’t enjoy the present moment. When I get married I want to be certain about the relationship and I’m very scared that because of my OCD I never really will be. Any suggestions on what I can do? Thanks 🤍
I’m tired of my ROCD making it feel impossible to accept my boyfriend fully for who he is. I’m so tired of it always finding something wrong or something to worry about regarding who he is. It never lets me fully just embrace him for him and I hate it so much. Whether it’s personality, race, his interests, how he was raised, everything🤦🏾♀️ I just want to finally feel like I can embrace and accept him for all his differences. He’s a wonderful person who truly loves me with his entirety. I’m just sad this disorder attacks our relationship and him as a person. My chest is so tight with anxiety and sadness. Just venting.
But.. can ROCD fade? Like before you get therapy? It’s like my symptoms are gone and that I’m just convincing myself I have ROCD… I know I still love my partner dearly but it’s hard to believe I don’t have ROCD when I constantly get nagging feelings. Like right now I feel better… I know I wanna stay. I wanna be able to fix any problems with my relationship. I don’t want to break up. But then I question if I am just forcing it to avoid hurting my partner. I don’t wanna leave him. It’s like I am fully convinced my ROCD is gone…
I’ve been really valuing the FearCast podcast lately! ALSO, I had had a ton of anxiety and stress because I had an event scheduled where I would interact (for 3 days straight) with the people who were involved in my initial intrusive sexual thought that set off my worst episode last year . I was so scared for the weekend that my OCD was running wild for days before.. during the actual weekend, I just allowed the thoughts but basically said “hey, OCD, I don’t have time for you this weekend” and folks, IT WORKED. I had been scared of this for weeks.. but when it actually came down to it, I prioritized the present and just didn’t allow myself the time to isolate and ruminate. And it went WELL!
Hi! I'm new to this app. But really hoping I can find community. I've been struggling for a while with OCD and it kinda went dormant for a bit (I primarily have relationship OCD and have been single for a while). Then, as I'm weeks away from a vacation I've really been looking forward to, POOF here comes the OCD boss. (I use "boss" as a specific analogy here. Think like... video game boss. The big scary guy standing between you and the next chapter in the game.) Instead of latching onto my relationships, it has latched onto the trip itself. Im putting the work in. And really "leaning in" to the ERP. I've even had several breakthroughs on my own!!! But man does this guy know how to put up a fight. Im now 16 days away from this trip and trying to really push. But of course another boss (menstrual cycle) has decided to join in the little party here. Here's to still fighting!! One boss fight at a time.