Woke up feeling so anxious and confused. I felt as if I didn’t love my partner anymore and I was so confused I got scared. I’m not trying to lose feelings for him. I really love him. My head keeps telling me that I don’t like him nor love him anymore and it feels like I don’t like in my body and head. I don’t wanna feel that anymore. I wish I never had these type of intrusive thoughts towards my relationship.
How do you live with these thoughts without the fear of actually being in denial and having to leave your relationship. I don’t have any sexual attraction to a guy but my brain and thoughts put that in my mind. Soocd sucks.. any advice? Tired of these thoughts and feeling like I’m lying to myself. Diagnosed with ocd as well btw
Hey! I’m interested to hear the other side of soocd that LGBTQ people suffer with. Would love to hear y’all experiences with this theme
cheating ocd constantly making me feel anxious and guilt feelings in my chest.. idk what’s reality anymore:( urge to confess to cheating but idk when I did or if I even did.. this sucks
Hey friends. I’m kind of experiencing a spike today. Everything my husband says or does to love me makes me feel sick. I’m avoiding him and just dreading pursuing quality time. How do you choose through this and these strong feelings and urges? It sucks. Has anyone seen the other side with more confidence?
I hope this isn’t reassurance seeking but does anyone understand why my anxiety spikes when I think good things about my partner or think about being with them in general and my anxiety calms down when I think bad things about my partner or don’t think about them at all?
I’ve tried knitting, coloring , music and working out none of these help me does anyone have any suggestions as to what hobbies I can go to distract my brain? I keep thinking of new things that are upsetting me and acting on them. I want like a solid hobby that I can look forward too and actually commit too.
Any advice? Would be nice to know if it has been overcome :( I keep thinking i slept with someone at a party and just forgot until recently (2years after the event)
Thought action fusion- https://psychcentral.com/ocd/ocd-and-thought-action-fusion#effects https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0005791604000291 Rumination- https://www.psychiatry.org/News-room/APA-Blogs/Rumination-A-Cycle-of-Negative-Thinking ***Please share any other helpful articles below! Thanks!***
I just finished my visit with psychiatrist and she is not putting me on medications. She wants me to wait since I’m progressively improving. She wants to see how far I can get without medication but if there is no more improvement or anxiety gets back then she will put me on medications. I feel okay with this and I’m glad she is not pushing medications on me.
today, and a little bit of last night, it's acting up in a way that's making me question if i really am attracted to my boyfriend. this hasn't really happened before. i'm exhausted. my so-ocd is also acting up a little, but less than it was a few days ago. i keep getting intrusive thoughts asking me if i'm a lesbian when i know i'm not and that i'm in love with my boyfriend. trying to lean into the uncertainty more because someone on here gave me the advice to do so with that. i think it's helping.
Hi, I hope you all feel better today. I've recently watched some of Nathan Peterson's videos on YT and it helped me in some way, although I have not been diagnosed with OCD. One thing I learned is that I'm not going to figure out all my what if's and doubts, no matter how hard I try. So I'll stop trying anyway, the thoughts will still be there, the anxiety will still be there, but I'm not going to waste all my energy thinking because at the end of the day, there is really no satisfaction for OCD.
I honestly don’t know what to expect because my ocd has gotten better thanks to my therapy with NOCD. I don’t even know anymore if I need medication.
I’ve been discovering the harmful ways that perfectionism has created countless barriers in my life and I’ve finally gotten to relationships and was wondering if perfectionism and exacerbate ROCD? Like the thoughts that if everything doesn’t “feel” perfect (whatever that means), then it must be all wrong? Or some other way! I’m still in self discovery mode.
Does anyone ever have panic attacks that wake them up? My panic goes away throughout the day but peaks in the middle of the night. This leads me to believe that what I’m worried about is not real since it goes away during the day, but I can’t sleep. Does anyone have any tips here? I’m not sure if the panic is trying to tell me something or if it is just habit now that it comes every night.
Been experiencing these knots in my stomach almost every day, all day. The intrusive thoughts still come but not as much and not as loud but this anxiety in my stomach and weight on my chest is so persistent now. It makes me feel horrible and on edge all day.
Struggle with intrusive thoughts last night and now this morning smh
Some of my intrusive thoughts are so sticky. They won't leave my head and then I feel like I'm ruminating. It's so hard to just ignore the thoughts when you have the same one like every 5 minutes.
Hi guys do y’all ever panic when you guys think of an ex ? And instantly start assuming so many things and it make u panic and overthink ? I feel like such a bad wrist because I have a boyfriend I been with for 4 years and love so much. It makes me feel so bad .
Has anyone ever experienced an intrusive thought about liking their best friend of the same sex? I’m straight but for some reason my mind always says I like my best friend, even though I know I don’t. It bothers me to the point I’m wanting to drift.
about. a week or so ago. but i’m currently scared. my ocd pretty much came into effect around nine months ago and completely ruined me. but 9 months later and i’m barely going on this app, doing compulsions, or just getting obsessions in general? and when i do get obsessions compulsions and the obsession doesn’t rlly last that long. all the while this is a good thing, does this mean i haven’t had ocd all along? if i haven’t then that’s terrifying and does that invalidate what i’m feeling? is this ocd making me type this? or is this just apart of recovery.
I'm so fucken sad. I feel this pit in my stomach everytime the content comes in. I'm so scared because today I did an exposure that triggered the hell out of me! I feel like there's so much evidence against for why my orientation is a lie and that I couldn't be with any man ever again. I love my BF, he's my best friend and I love him 💗 I'm super scared to be forced to give all that up. This beautiful life that we've planned out. I don't mind being bi or pan or whatever, I just want to be able to be with a man. I've always sought them out for protection, love and comfort.
Is there hope for those with ROCD? I feel like I'll never be "ok" with anyone enough to be with them, even now I see myself sabotaging the best relationship I've had, when I genuinely dont want to. I know its my OCD getting in the way but cant stop it. It breaks my heart 😔
Has anyone else found that being in a relationship can make your mental health both better and worse? I found that it made me happier but it also triggered my relationship ocd
Does your mind or ocd tell you that you are making everything up and using ocd as a excuse. Always feels so real
So recently I have an ocd topic abt friends. I do have friends and really close ones but when sometimes I do feel lonely. Maybe it’s ocd idk. Also, when I’m hanging out with my friends in class and there’s another group of friends of girls (who I’m also friends with and I can be part of that group if I want, but sometimes they could be toxic) who are hanging out to, I always get a fomo feeling, and a feeling that I shd be in the other group, and that makes me not fully live in the moment. I just always go back and forth with my group or friends. It just makes me feel upset and lonely. Is it ocd?
Feeling a little lonely right now. My ROCD is coming up in ways that I’m now realizing is compulsive. I believe because someone (one particular friend) doesn’t interact with my posts anymore on IG (Instagram) that means they don’t want to be my friend… crazy to think that social media and this current era can do this to us. I then start to spiral and worry about if my boyfriend still remains friends with them (bc we are mutual friends) I would have to break up with my bf. I truly understand not to give into that anymore but it bothers me. Aside from that… I feel as though I don’t have many friends and I just don’t feel appreciated enough. It’s hard because I see so many people in friend groups and their own inner circles, it’s hard not to feel this way sometimes.
My therapist mentioned that I have improved 56 percent and as a result I’m going to start seeing her only once a week. I honestly didn’t believe it was posible to get my life back but here I am, feeling a lot better. I’m still not 100 % but I’m happy that ERP is helping and it really works. I urge everyone to try it, read about it, get creative with it and do the work.
Does anyone associate anxirty with their partner?
Anyone with ROCD want to start a group chat on like snapchat and help each other through this? Sometimes I feel like I need more support through this than just the app.
I recently was diagnosed w ROCD and it makes the last few years of my life make sense. I just want to complain and say tiktok can be sooooo painful and detrimental for people who suffer w ROCD. It is so scary!!! People share such scary stories and strong negative narratives and when you already internally struggle with relationships and your own confidence it makes it 10x worse. Just wanted to vent! Keep scrolling (don’t avoid) but process it all with caution and be kind to yourselves (learning to take my own advice w this 🫶🏼)
Visited my boyfriend over the past weekend and my thoughts were still very much there but does anyone get more intrusive thoughts or deal with SO-OCD and feel it more prevalent before and after seeing your significant other. I’m back home and the fact that I feel like I’m lesbian is back more than ever. Wondering if anyone in a long distance relationship feels like this?
A while ago I had seen this video of saying not to settle because you can have all the great things in a partner and be super attracted to them. Well I love everything about him truly he’s so patient kind etc. but now my mind is fixated on how sometimes I don’t actually think this person is attractive but sometimes I do. Is this normal in a relationship?? Because my brain won’t let it go to the point that every time I look at them I’m checking to see if I think they’re attractive. I’m worried I don’t think it enough???
me and my bf both agreed to stop looking at our exs, or past peoples social media accounts bc it bothers one another, so we stopped. but it got brought up in conversation now my brain is like, what if u viewed someone’s story after u guys talked about it?” ive been on a deep search through all my instagrams, downloaded my data, and “confessed” this worry to him. constant worry if i did smthng bad and forgot. then my brain takes REAL memories and puts them at a different point in time… for example I viewed my exs story before we talked abt it, but now my brain is saying it was after? I can’t catch a break. I feel guilt and anxiety and actual worry as if I did do smthng and just forgot about it
I’m new to both the OCD diagnosis and this group. I got into a new relationship about 10 months ago and since then, ROCD has effectively taken over every aspect of my brain. I have been excessively doubting myself, my confidence is lower than it has been in years, and I’m constantly questioning if my partner’s cheating or actually wants to be with me. This leads to me needing reassurance from him that he really can’t give me because the insecurities are all from my brain running rampant with obsessive thoughts. He is so patient and understanding, and the logical side of me trusts him completely. How do I sit with these feelings and accept them without taking this out on him? I’m so scared I’m pushing him away. ):
Sorry for the uber depressing post…but it feels like OCD has taken my life, happiness, and relationship hostage. I’m in the beginning stages of getting help (new meds, ERP). But I just feel so hopeless. I want my life, sanity, and peace of mind back. I’d do anything for that.
Anyone else ever watch videos/listen to podcasts and they say “You will know deep down this is how you feel. Always trust your gut.” I don’t know anything since learning i have OCD. Anyone else agree?
I’m 38 and it has ruined relationship after relationship. I get obsessed with the fear they don’t love me and are pretending, and I also focus in on their faults to the point where I kind of hate them and don’t enjoy the relationship more. Then I have flashes of feeling fine and feeling super guilty and seeeing I’m being unfair. I really need to stop the cycle. It makes me so unhappy, they then pick up on that and the relationship really does spiral :(
Is it cheating if I have intrusive thoughts about people from my past or random people ? My bf knows about it but he’s telling me he wants to know what the thoughts are but I don’t wanna talk about them because they don’t mean anything but I feel like I’m cheating anyone dealing with this ?
Okay so long story…. I have two children and my husband and I have been talking about have a third for a little bit. Well we decide this month to “try” meaning I tracked ovulation and he decides not to use protection. Well, I got pregnant. As soon as I saw those two lines I felt so mixed. The second day I cried because I was not ready for my second to not be the baby. But all of the sudden I have been having this way of anxiety and terrible thoughts. This is where trying to decide if this my OCD creeping back in… Thoughts like, “I don’t want this baby” “ what did I do” “maybe I will miscarry” “I would be fine with that”. All of which makes me feel very anxious. It makes me question. If this is OCD I know how to handle it. Wondering if is hormones or me really realizing the reality of it all.
Hi guys so my friend just texted me saying she wants to have lunch with me , and I feel anxious I think I have attachment issues with my boyfriend. Everytime im away from him I assume I’m going to loose feelings ? Which is so weird has this happend to anyone else ?
Please be gentle, kind and, loving to yourselves as much as you are to other people.
Do any of you struggle with waking up and before opening your eyes you’re already being bombarded by thoughts? My ocd latched on to an ex crush so everytime I wake up his name automatically pops into my head. There are times when I pray instead of thinking to say I love my bf I accidentally think of the guys name and it sends me into an utter meltdown. Anyone relate ?
My anxiety is manageable and I say that loosely because I still panic but I don’t fall into panic attacks often like before and Im able to sleep through the night. When I’m around my partner I feel better after an hour or so but when I’m away from them, rOCD still messes with me a lot. It still really make me feel I’m in denial about what I truly feel because I’m not breaking down from the anxiety butttt I’m glad I’m not having panic attacks and I’m able to sleep now
i want to try to write off my relationship doubts and intrusive thoughts as ocd and not get so attached to them but there's always a voice in the back of my head saying "what if it's not ocd and it's real" and i don't know how to silence it
i really love my boyfriend. i really really do, i'm in love with him. i adore him. my ocd keeps attacking me and telling me that my love for him is fake and that i'm just leading him on. i'm having less of a reaction to it bc i'm so exhausted from it and i'm worried that means it must be true. we have such a good and healthy relationship and i would be devastated to lose him. he's amazing and i wouldn't ever want to do anything to harm him. i can't imagine not being with him and not doing the things i do with him. but my brain is like "what if that's all fake and you're just leading him on" or "what if you're lying to yourself" it makes me want to scream!!! i wish i could just get rid of these thoughts.
I’ve noticed this pattern. Everytime I get overwhelmed in life my HOCD seems to flare up, wether it’s because I have plans with multiple friends or some travel plans. It’s so distressing because I think to myself, “why do I have these thoughts even tho there’s good things happening, I know my morals and values”. I hate flying & I’m going to be soon, I think that’s also why I’m feeling so anxious too but what does my OCD have to do with that!
feel so empty and disconnected. like im crying but i feel flat. numb. normal. i thin my rocd has taken over my emotions completely. ive lost interest to do anything. i just pray to god to take me away rather than feeling so disconnected from my bf. i have no idea how to deal with this numbness. feeling nothing yet normal. anyone felt thi? f so, please help. i really love my man and dont wanna give him up. bu recovery or normal seems to be fading. im scared to death. i cant feel anything i want. its like ive lost the will to live but yet im normal and happy wiith my family. im so confused. please. help.
When I'm doing better I always get this thought ''remember the intrusive thoughts you had, your boyfriend doesn't know about this, what if''. Does anyone else struggle with this?
feel so empty and disconnected from my partner. like im crying but i feel flat. numb. normal. i think my rocd has taken over my emotions completely. ive lost interest to do anything. i just pray to god to take me away rather than feeling so disconnected from my bf. i have no idea how to deal with this numbness. feeling nothing yet normal. anyone felt this? If so, please help. i really love my man and dont wanna give him up. but recovery or normal seems to be fading. im scared to death. i cant feel anything i want. its like ive lost the will to live but yet im normal and happy wiith my family. im so confused. please. help.
I had my sister over and I realised every time my partner and sister interacted, my brain was going to this fear, and then I accused my partner just because my sister looked at my partner, talked to my partner, my brain went right okay they must be talking behind my back. I am now absolutely paralysed by this fear. I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this.
i have a good bf, rocd has plagued the relationship but i’ve her good moments tbh but my bf doesn’t get me like i wish he did… i think he hates me tbh, when i go to him with my worries he ignores me or changes the subject and says i’m always creating problems and he calls me aggravating :(
Does anyone soocd/ rocd amplify when they get into a disagreement or argument with there partner? Is this normal?
TMI but Im really scared I might be pregnant!My bf and I have protected sex only, and we're REALLY not trying to be pregnant right now. It's now been about 4 days without a period and I'm scared!
Hi you guys So out of no where I get these rocd episodes I guess u can say . And I get these thoughts ugly thoughts like “What if I don’t like him” “Why do I get anxious when I’m about to kiss him” “Why didn’t I feel anything when I hugged or kissed him” I get anxious when I look at him sometimes is that normal after getting these thoughts ? This is the first time it’s felt like this
Has anyone ever dealt with simply looking at someone’s social media page because you found them attractive and then feeling immense guilt that you have been unfaithful for doing that? I did once or twice checking out someone I found attractive with no intent other then just being nosey and looking for a few quick minutes and then was it. Which then made me feel like I’m a horrible unfaithful spouse. It’s been going on for almost a month and I am not sure how to get back to feeling normal :(
struggling with this theme currently. i am worried that i am secretly a lesbian and i am just leading my boyfriend on because i like his attention. i don't think this is actually true as i do truly love my boyfriend, but i'm worried anyways. my ocd is making me question if my love for him is romantic or just platonic.
My OCD was basically “gone” today and I forgot what life was like without it. So I wanted to share and see what you’ve noticed on low/no OCD days. I spent most of the day sleeping and then hiking with my dog (both fun and relaxing), I played my switch, I ate a lot of protein rich foods (hard for me to do usually), I helped out family with tech tasks, talked to two friends and texted my bf. My ROCD is still humming in the background “why isn’t he texting you more” “I bet he’s cheating on you” “do you even have enough in common work?!” But because it’s not scaring me, it just fades back again. I forgot how peaceful it can be when 90% of my brain isn’t fighting itself. How about you? Share your good days.
I just got broken up with and my OCD has been pretty bad, I still wear a ring that he gave me and it's because it comforts me but it also involves a lot of my OCD, and I need help.
I found an article on NOCD today saying limerence and ROCD are separate things so now I’m unsure if I really have OCD though the obsession and compulsions were there with the limerence (can’t live without them, they’re the only one, etc.) All of the ERP therapy obviously doesn’t work with limerence so I’ve been wondering what my therapist will say. I feel even more foolish now thinking I had an answer to why I’ve been feeling like crap for months.
a few days ago I went to dinner with one of my friend, I met a guy and I really think I liked him. obviously it's been since that day that I've been thinking about this fact and I felt the need to inquire about this person in depth. I had bad news, he's not a serious person romantically and he's in half an affair. I suffered so much for this thing that, after a long time since OCD exploded in all its violence (exactly one year), for the first time, I felt emotions that I felt were mine and not distorted. I was sad but happy at the same time. unfortunately, today I had a very strong trigger and I'm terrified of sinking back into doubts and compulsions. the nightmare is not over and I continue to feel inadequate and small compared to the person I like who I know will never love me back. but why always me?
Hi everyone, I’m considering scheduling a call to start therapy here and I was just wondering how much room do you have with your therapist to speak about your problems? I suspect i have rOCD that no one’s been able to understand and so I just want to be able to speak at length with a therapist about my situation before starting exposures. Can we do that with NOCD therapists?
Does anyone fear people leaving them when they are at their worst with their obsessive thinking? I am anxiously attached to my friends and fear they will leave me when I’m struggling, which increases my obsessions. When I ask for reassurance from friends (usually fixing something I said) I feel guilty and think I need more reassurance..but the vicious cycle continues. Stopping the vicious cycle in my relationships takes ALL of my energy right now- but I want to trust that people in my life will not leave me at my worst when even my best efforts are not great. I guess this is not always a given. Maybe the people that truly are meant to be there stay through our ups and downs.I sure hope so but just feeling so darn fearful and wondering if anyone can relate! Glad for this community that understands the struggle.
I get intrusive thoughts about people from my past for example one was “I miss them” like wtf I do not I’m happy with my bf like I even get intrusive images does anyone else deal with this I told my bf that I get intrusive thoughts about people from my past he understands but I still feel so bad anyone get intrusive thoughts about people from their past?
I feel like I don't trust my bf for no reason I'm scared he's going to leave because of one fight like what happened yesterday I'm so scared I don't wanna feel lik3 I don't trust him worst part is I feel guilty and anxious but not really anxious and that worries me it doesn't feel like this is ocd I just wish I didn't have this disorder but I guess this will end up making us stronger
My partner broke it off with me on the 20th. it was pretty out of the blue. he just dropped my stuff off, cited that he 'needs his head in the game' to finish out his course and get a new job. (understandable) I didn't really get the chance to process when he last spoke to me, so its been 6 days of guessing, speculating, ruminating about why he couldn't just ask for space instead of breaking up. I find myself CONSTANTLY checking his old tinder profile, his Instagram, and checking my phone for a text or call from him. I've been good and not tried to seek reassurance from him. i haven't called or texted, but by doing the opposite action very hard, i might be missing something. im second guessing a lot of my behavior. but mostly im just... miserable. joined NOCD because i wanted to work on my relationship OCD to bring a better version of myself to the relationship. now my worst fear happened...lol
i’m talking to this boy i met online just over a month ago. i really do enjoy speaking to him and stuff, but i keep getting anxiety thinking about him. when we first started talking he said things that really made me feel uncomfortable and weird, i did tell him about it and he didn’t get offended and he stopped saying things like that. but now i’m worried because he used to say stuff like that he still thinks like that and it makes me cringe, i hate it i just don’t want to feel anxious about him anymore. it’s so horrible and i can’t stop thinking like that. another thing is that if other people saw him saying stuff like that to me it would make them cringe, and then associate me and him as weird, my biggest fear is being seen as weird or strange. i shouldn’t think like that because it isn’t anyone else’s business, but its just constantly going on in my mind. but my mind is flipping back and forth between if i like him or not and i just want to feel comfortable. he’s really respectful and kind but just some things he says i really dislike. another thing is that i hate how he texts, like just the way he messages me really makes me feel weird. and because i worry how people see him, i’m scared they’ll see how he messages and because i’m talking to him, they’ll associate me with that. i feel so bad
for the past couple weeks i’ve been really struggling with relationship OCD. lately i’ve been picking apart my partner and feeling like his actions are not “masculine” to my liking. this was all triggered by him going to get a pedicure/ foot massage after he had some anxiety attack. now things he does that can be deemed as effeminate continue to be filed into my brain. i’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being that way it’s just all of a sudden i started feeling like i need a more masculine man to balance out my personality. i feel devastated because when we’re together it’s warm and i think he’s my soul mate and we have such a deep connection. but i constantly keep finding things that are giving me the ick lately and i can’t stop thinking about it. my brain just doesn’t want me to be happy even just a few months ago i was experiencing HOCD and i convinced myself i wasn’t straight. i need some advice desperately because i don’t want to feel disconnected from someone who i love.
Has anyone learned or have advice on accepting a past even in which you were wrong?
Hello. I really need some advice :( so I was in a relationship with someone I was friends with for over 4 years and we ended up breaking up because my ocd was rlly bad/I was controlling and harming their mental health. A few months later we are friends and she keeps hanging out with this roomate who did weird stuff while we dated and I always felt weird about. She’s told me it’s because she has no one else to hang out with and she’s in a new city alone. But I find it super hard to not feel so hurt by it every time (it tears me apart) and when I bring it up she gets super anxious and feels controlled. We agreed to keep a door open for a potential future relationship and this situation makes me want to close it and it’s just so painful. I don’t know what to do/or if I’m in the wrong. Please help.
After not seeing my boyfriend for a month since we are LDR, when he picked me up from the airport last night it’s as if I was forcing my self to be all mushy and touchy when I usually am that way when I see him. When I touch him or hug him I feel absolutely nothing, and for some reason it feels like I’m with a stranger and it’s kind of freaking me out. I don’t know if it’s because of the Lexapro or me getting my lady present in a couple of days but I’ve never been this way before. Thoughts?
The ROCD has flared up so bad. It’s like something I nonchalantly did when I didn’t think it was a big deal a few months ago back in January to check out this persons social media because I was nosey and purposely looked because I thought this person was cute and just wanted to see his page quick. It has now turned into a big ordeal in my head and is making me feel so guilty and that I have been unfaithful. It’s made me feel that I shouldn’t have even entertained the simple thought of going on a scavenger hunt to find this persons page to briefly look. I can’t stand the Fact that im nosey in general and have looked up people all the time people I’m not even friends with but solely bc I did it for being attracted to this person now how’s me feeling like an unfaithful partner. Sometimes I really dislike social media and other times like finding this group has helped. I guess what makes this worse is if i expressed this to my husband about my situation and guilt it would cause major issues. We been together for such a long time he’s the only person I’ve ever been with. Half of my life!. This is one thing I suffer with on my own and confide in my best friend bc my husband can be very touchy with certain things. My innocent curiosity got the best of me and my intentions were pure it’s not like I had bad intentions im not even friends or spoke to this person, I’ve only ever said once “have a nice day” leaving and it’s so easily accessible to find people today because well…he’s a teacher at my daughters school which makes it even worse! ( he slightly resembles the actor austin butler) and I can’t be the only mom who thinks he’s cute. My stepmom thought the same too, I’ve also just checked the other teachers pages as well just to see who they are and what and who my child is around ….. But bc I find this person attractive and I’m the one who searched him out just to be nosey and look.. the intrusive thought makes me feel like that was being unfaithful. I would be completely stupid if I thought my husband didn’t “look” At pretty women and it wouldn’t bother me if he did and told me that’s how long we have been together! I been with him since I’ve been 15!! I am 34 now. The only difference is, he isn’t on social media because he doesn’t like it. I have been suffering with this intrusive thought and guilt for 3 weeks. I feel so wrong for what I did. I’ve had confided in a few family members and they told me it isn’t a big deal and it’s “normal” to do that and don’t worry about it but how do I think this is normal if I know my husbands reaction would be not very good if I confessed? This is something that I will keep to myself and suffer with but me knowing how he would react makes me feel even that much more wrong I did that . So I guess That’s why I’m confiding with professional people in this group. If it weren’t for YouTube I would have never have found this page. So thank you for letting me express my feelings. I cannot afford to pay for therapy as we are a 1 income household right now. I’ve been silently suffering with ROCD for such a long time off and on throughout this relationship and now marriage. To be the best partner. I’ve Had this fear of cheating and him cheating ( in the beginning and then learned it’s ok to trust people) and also me not being the most perfect and purest person to him. My parents divorced over cheating so I have seen alot of turmoil over this. I don’t want to be a cheater. Because I saw how sad my mom was with what happened in her marriage. I never understood it I remember my mom screaming on the phone when I was about 9 and her crying “I know he’s over there!!!” Talking about my dad. So I guess after this long vent, What erp therapy can you do in this situation for having immense guilt for being just a nosey person and looking at a Facebook of someone you wanted to see solely bc you thought they were cute? I looked at it probably less then a handful of times and once I saw I was like.. oh ok.. and that was it. But I just feel so wrong before my ROCD came back I didn’t think it was a big deal then A few months prior and randomly one day in the beg of March and the intrusive thought came out of nowhere “remember when you did this two months ago on Facebook and looked at his page on a scavenger hunt and found him and you looked at it bc you think he’s cute!” and it stuck like glue in my head. And spiraled Ugh.
I can’t stop my brain I keep doing impulsive things I feel like I’m going to be stuck like this forever. I can’t avoid giving into my urges. Looking into a hobby like knitting or something to help. Anyone available to talk? Kinda could use a friend going through the same stuff
So I’m seeing my old gp less. My psychiatrist once every two months, going to try to call my new gp and convince him to take me on without my old charts. Don’t have the concentration to do anything else. I need to see a nurse at least once a week to keep on track. I had one in 2016 but we didn’t like her advice most of the time. On the increase I use the category harm less. Write in parts
Feeling emotionally disconnected with my partner after 2 months of daily intrusive thoughts. We are on a break rn and haven't heard from him since a month. We gonna get back soon in a couple days. The break I think it worsened my rocd. It got horrible and then just like stopped. Numbed out. I don't feel like myself anymore. I'm normal but all emotions feel superficial. Anyone tell me what's going on? I'm really confused. I've been having random anxiety waves and urges to cry but I don't feel hurt or tears don't come out. Like I'll start crying and something in me would instantly make it stop and it'd be like it never happened I'd get so normal In a second. I feel like I've lost myself. What can I do to make it better? I feel so scared that this disconnect won't go away. All I want is to love him and feel that way again. Feel the connect I did.
Family tell me to just stop all the time, partners furious because of my relationship ocd. I’m met with no understanding and I just feel like everyone’s better off without me
I had a drink last night, found myself asking for so much reassurance when drunk and this morning. Definite trigger for it worsening. Hate this. But at least I know
Last night i gave in to my impulses and told my bf some things that bother me but they were all in my head, and we got in some mini fight but in the end we continued like it's nothing Now i cant stop thinking about him having enough of me, and wanting to break up and being annoyed at me. I know I shouldn't, and i probablly wont ask him all of these questions but my stomach and anxiety are unbearable How to stop them plssss
After probably a year , my hocd is coming back and I wanna prevent this. I am accepting the thoughts, using the “maybe I am , maybe I’m not “ but my hocd is only getting worse. I have a girlfriend too and now it seems like I don’t love her, I’m just being with her for the sake of it. Help me recover please
noticing my mind puts pressure on myself to keep conversations going in my relationship and when the conversation goes silent i panic and start thinking this is a sign of something bad and i spiral. also i tell myself you must say the right things or else and if they don’t respond the way i expect it to be i start to spiral. as well if i don’t feel in love i start to panic like omg what’s wrong. wondering if anyone thinks the same way.