Sexual Orientation OCD - Community

Everytime I see girls and guys kissing I either get intrusive thoughts about the guy or my HOCD makes me think I’m anxious of the girl…

So I took a therapists advice to agree with the thoughts and pretend they’re true. And it made my anxiety go away almost all the way then I questioned if I feel good because I accepted the thoughts and theyre true now my anxiety is spiked and I get panic. What do you think any ACTUAL advice?

Yesterday was a very difficult struggle with my OCD. I was tired and surrounded by triggers at my job, with no moment of rest or relief in sight. Desperate for some kind of help I turned to…Instagram. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I searched for Christian OCD accounts. And I came across this. It didn’t help exactly, but dang if it’s not too good to share. ❤️

My mind is trying to convince me that I’m attracted to males I see online and it’s making my stomach basically twist

Someone on here recommended “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” by Sally Winston a couple days ago and I just read the first chapter and phew - let me tell you. This book is going to be good, I felt SO aligned with everything JUST in the first chapter. Hoping I can stick to my road to recovery this time…. Thinking of all of you xo

still struggling with this theme and i fucking hate it so much for the fact that it’s the one theme that can be “real” and you just have to deal with it. anyway, i’ve been trying to make myself not care since i think that’s the only thing that’s gonna make it go away. however, sometimes when i see a picture or a video of a really attractive male celebrity, i get this giddy little feeling that i think is probably attraction. at first this functioned as accidental reassurance but now i think it’s morphed into something compulsive. i’m constantly trying to chase that feeling and when i get it, my brain turns it against me. i get thoughts like “you can only feel this for male celebrities, not real men” or “you’re forcing yourself to feel this way” even though those reactions are completely involuntary and i’ve had them since i was a teen. my ocd is focused on whether i’m actually attracted to men or not and this constant back and forth is definitely not helping. i just don’t know how i can win with this thing. i feel like i’m going crazy with knowing that i more than likely feel attraction but my mind is daily attempting to convince me through intrusive thoughts and feelings that i don’t. i want to get over this and live my life but i’m caught in between this tug of war of rationality vs. fear and i don’t know where to go.

Does anybody or has anybody started any type of hormonal medicine? Birth control, Lupron, any type of medication that can throw your hormones off-balance? I feel like my OCD has been worse since I started my Lupron. Worse, in a way of making me feel like this is my true identity, and that my thoughts were always real.

From time to time I‘m just so unnerved by all this shit… it just makes me laugh at some point. The content is no laughing matter, but man… fuck ocd, fuck thoughts, fuck this, fuck that. I’m just laughing right now trying to vibe with a short period of feeling certain to be a good person. Hope we all get better and get better reasons to laugh :) Always remember: ocd is just a big pile of shit, certainty can never be fully achieved, life can still be good Just wanted to dump that here, greetings from Germany

Is anyone having trouble with Sexual Orientation OCD thoughts right now?

What sort of forms of ERP have helped you with your HOCD?

hey do you guys feel like you are forcing fear when you have all these tiring thoughts?

Does HOCD affect y’all’s dreams too?

i had a dream last night that i was out shopping and then a girl i used to go to school with and haven’t talked to in years or even thought about in years came up to me and she was like hey and then started asking if there was any lucky girls or if i had a gf or something along those lines and then i was taken off guard and was like oh um i actually have a bf and then it seemed like she didn’t believe me so i started showing her pictures of him. i could feel in the dream how anxiety inducing that was and my mind started going: am i lying to myself? can other people see something i can’t about myself? and i remember in the dream i wanted to ask her and be like why did you ask about girls and not guys? like what abt me made you ask that? it’s just so frustrating i can’t even get away from my mind in dreams. i know dreams don’t have much correlation with our actual day to day lives but this is sending me down a spiral and i feel so nauseous. because a question in my brain constantly is “what if i’m just lying to myself? what if i’m doing all these things to prove to others i’m straight?” at the same time the dream doesn’t bother me because i know deep down who i am and who i like so it just means nothing to me and it was a blip in my brain but at the same time i can feel myself trying not to freak out.

This is very specific but can ocd re-frame the intrusive thoughts to make it seem like a "genuine desire" of yours?Mine keeps telling me that I'd be more "liberated" if I took a part in my intrusive thoughts.... for the record, I consider myself a feminist, and my intrusive thoughts say "this is the only way to be liberated/ be authentic" 🤢😒

Since dealing with Ocd, does anyone feel uncomfortable looking people in the eyes?? Before, eye contact wasn't a problem... but now it's like If I look in someone's eyes I feel like they're gonna know what kinda fu*ked up things my mind thinks and see me as a bad person; or im scared/uncomfortable with getting an intrusive thought about them. Obviously, this is internalized fears, but I'm having trouble getting over this belief.

I have gone over seas with my boyfriend and it has been something we have been looking forward to for so long now. I have really been down and struggling to enjoy the trip as I have been ruminating on if I still feel the same about him and constantly not sure if I am attracted to him anymore. I have existing HOCD thoughts and ruminating happening which additionally adds a lot of doubt and makes me wonder am I lying to myself??. When I am home I am working and busy and my lifestyle helps me not have so much time to allow myself to constantly fear these topics. I feel so alone and sad that I can’t enjoy these moments and escape my mind. Anyone have any advice?

Does anyone else get this absolute urge to say their thoughts out loud. To confess almost? Idk if I’ll ever be back to normal

anyone care to share how the first thought of HOCD popped into their heads?

What is the difference, is there even a difference?

i don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so sad. The thought of having to break up with my boyfriend makes me so incredibly sad and i don’t ever want to do that but i don’t know what to do. I’m not attracted to typically attractive men and I have always thought that even when i was younger. I remember wondering why i wasn’t attracted to the guys in the magic mike movies. That’s just a stupid example but i am not attracted to those movies and I felt the same way when i was little too. If i am not attracted to the men that everyone else is attracted to, and I don’t find shirtless men attractive, how can I possibly like boys. It doesn’t make any sense. I still will find boys attractive but like if i don’t find shirtless men attractive that everyone else thinks is hot then i can’t just ignore the feelings of being scared i don’t actually like men. I just wanna be with my boyfriend but how am i supposed to do that when i just can’t get over the fact that I’m not attracted to typically attractive men

Hello everyone, today marks 15 days since therapy, mostly been good days, however yesterday and today have been a little harder then usual. With so-ocd you tend to see good looking people and your mind takes it as signs. I’m pushing through, trying to stick with the ERP scripts. Hope all is well and everyone is keeping their chins up 🫡

Has anyone ever thought about experimenting with the same sex due to the Hocd thoughts? Like a feeling that they need to or want to in order to get an answer? It’s weird because it feels like I want to. I’ve been dealing with this for about 5 years now with no treatment. Could I just be so deep into HOCD, that I need to get go to extremes for answers? Like I’m not even disgusted at the thoughts anymore or any anxiety. It actually makes me feel like I like the thoughts now and actually want to do that and I can’t stop ruminating on it all day.

I dont know how to feel.

For about a year now I’ve had pocd thoughts. Anytime I’m around children I always am on alert and have anxiety when they come anywhere near me. For instance I was at my relatives house and all of my little cousins 2-8 years old started climbing on me and my entire body went numb and I just stayed still and the second I got I ran out the house and went to go be around all the parents. Now because of this I don’t want kids, I don’t want to get married and be put in the position to have kids. Every time I see a picture of a baby or any child I go past it fast like it wasn’t there, I don’t go to the park and run anymore either because I’m afraid I’ll kidnap or do something horrible to a child. Back in high school, I had really bad thoughts about harming people and I pushed people away because I thought I was a danger to them, I lost girlfriends and friendships because of it. I also think I had hocd because after getting broken up with my girls I’d always think I was gay or bi but I never really looked at guys that way. Is this all ocd related? Please help me.

How are you guys navigating this theme while being in a relationship/ dating or starting a relationship? I have had these thoughts even before I started dating my current boyfriend and it almost feels like I started dating him just to prove that I wasn’t gay, but I feel that I have sexual arousal towards women and I am numb to men now. Anyone else??

Why does using logic not work with OCD? I don't understand why at times I can be completely certain and at others my brain goes completely foggy and confused which is when OCD attacks. Just want to be happy like before

Usually sexual intrusive thoughs are about, what if I will enjoy a sexual act or I think that I will definetly would enjoy it, but this time, I did something, it was not something I was afraid to do exactly, but I definetly something that I expected to enjoy, the point is that now that I have done it and I don't feel confortable with it, I think I'm gonna do it again and again cause I had an orgasms with it.

I want to date girls but I think like that guy is good looking maybe I want to date him. I don’t want too but I’m nervous that I could be gay.

Is this normal? Sometimes when I spend long times ruminating, checking and creating scenarios I sometimes get a huge amount of anxiety which makes it feel like it's real. Is this normal? I feel like the anxiety is the whole reason why it feels so real

I just got out of the gym and besides the thoughts and feelings I had it was an alright day. Then I wait in the car for my dad and sister and for some reason I’m convinced that I’m gay in that moment, so my dad surprises me and says I should practice my driving and then while being convinced I get this fear of “YOUR GAY, what would you father think?, YOUR NOT GONNA LIVE UP TO HIS EXPECTATIONS!” Then I get scared and wonder am I really gay? Am I only really straight because of what my father would think, and now my mind won’t let me live it down because I feared what my father would think. Does this happen to anyone else ? (I’m also still attracted to woman, so I don’t know if this was ocd convincing I was or not which scares me)

Any so-ocd or ROCD success stories? I am having a very hard ocd day and it has me feeling hopeless :(

Ever since I started suffering from OCD (sexual orientation and relationship OCD) my life kind of went into shut down, Cut lots of people off due to intrusive thoughts about them and basically stopped going out all together. Actually planning on leaving the house tonight and seeing freinds. Which feels very scary because I haven't properly done this in a while. I feel like I've been getting better with Actually dealing with intrusive thoughts but nevertheless still quite unsure. Would proprobably recommend to everyone getting outside and about though. It's a bit scary, but I can understand how it is supposed to help us get out of our heads a lot more!!!!

Can ocd trick you into thinking you like the same sex? Right now my brain keeps sending me thoughts like "I like women...."

My so-ocd has gotten so so bad!!!! I can't tell between reality and my mind anymore. I got my attraction back a couple of weeks ago, then I went back into my compulsive ways..... I hate this shit! I just want my attraction to men back. I don't want to do anything sexual with woman, despite what my thoughts say.

I cant stop questioning and trying to figure out the theme? how to stop compulsions? What is going on? Will i ever figure this out? Why cant I stop thinking about it? No matter what I do I cant distract myself from this new ocd theme. I have never questioned my gender but now I seem to have both Hocd and Gocd. I identify as He/Him but now their is doubt. Anything I do and how I look is questioned and I need to make sure everything I do is manly enough. I have started with nocd but last appointment was a couple weeks ago. Friday will be m next appointment finally. The medication makes me feel worse now. I feel like I'm dreaming. How do you all deal with this?

Now I’m making up images in my head trying to know if I like it or if I’m sexually attracted to it, is this compulsions?

It’s been a while since I have been on this platform. In August, 2022, I said goodbye to my OCD therapist. Excerpt from my OCD diary: Aug, 2022 I just said goodbye to my therapist. She texted me this morning “are you running late?” The second time in a row I had forgotten about my therapy session. Maybe the third time? All after I had knocked them down from an hour to thirty minutes. I simply had nothing to talk about. I consider my OCD in remission (something my therapist helped me to understand- as an obsessive compulsive mindset doesn’t necessarily go away, your response to the specific obsessions can). Full days go by that I do not think about my obsessions. When they rise, I continue to engage with my fearful thoughts by confronting them. I wanted to post again because I read an interesting excerpt on shame- which we know flourishes in an OCD mindset. “First, I know my physical symptoms of shame— the dry mouth, time slowing down, tunnel vision, hot face, racing heart. I know that playing the painful slow-motion reel over and over in my head is a warning sign.” (Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection) If that does not describe an OCD rumination storm I don’t know what does. And what is the fix? “Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it-it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy”. (Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection) This resonated with the way I felt when I learned about OCD. When I found out what OCD was I could pull apart the shame I had been feeling and label it. I could define the experiences I was having. Rumination. Obsession. Compulsions. Anxiety. Pure-O. Groinal Response. There was power in exposing the shame I had; I now knew why I was having the obsessions, why I was doing the compulsions, and why I still felt like shit. Then without knowing Brené Brown’s strategy for tackling shame. I reached out. I found a confidant; my mother. I found a therapist. I found this community. I found other communities. I found a different therapist. I found books. I shared my story. I shared my shame. Not broadly from the rooftops. But to people I knew could understand, support, and encourage. I found peace through sharing my shame with you. Seven months ago I considered myself over OCD. It still comes up but it doesn’t rage. All this to say. Thank you for listening to me talk about my shame. The courage, compassion, and connection through this platform saved my life. Additionally, as a sufferer of OCD you are in the right place. Sharing shame on this platform is a step in the right direction; a step towards recovery. Finally, you know your shame. So grapple, tug, drag, grind, force your shame into the light. Tell other people about it. Not only does it starve your shame; it helps others to know they are not alone. It tells others to share their shame—kill it, don’t feed it. Thank you.

Can someone explain to me what derealization is? I think I’m going through this stage and it’s very confusing. I just feel “Okay.” With whatever thought my mind brings up and it’s causing me to start my obsessions over.

Having ocd are you also afraid to have sex with your partner? I have a terrible problem with this and don't know what to do. Before, it did not cause me any difficulty.

Recently, I've been scared that I intentionally "search" for the content of my obsessions in public and online. It can sometimes feel like I somehow "like" these thoughts and I'm just in denial about actually secretly liking them (when I know I don't). I guess what I'm asking, does anyone relate to getting these sort of thoughts? Like you're scanning the room or your mind for triggers.

I’m sitting here thinking about how thankful I am for my dad. I love how I can talk to him about my OCD without judgement. Whenever I have a particularly bad anxiety spike, or am so deep in despair, he’s always there to listen and help me calm down with meditation or other calming techniques. After a check-in with him, I always have a deep sense that everything will be ok. To create some positive vibes in this sub-section, I’d love to hear about the people you have in your life that you’ve been thankful for during your OCD journey.

Anyone here that's been dealing with SO OCD for a long time wants to talk? I could use someone

i hope i dont sound insensitive but i wish i obsessively feared being bisexual. it would suck just as much but at least then i would be confident in my attraction to my preferred sex instead of doubting everything and being scared shitless of even the idea of dating.

Does anybody’s ocd make up fake scenarios. Like with my hocd my makes a scenario that I told my parents I’m gay when I’m not. And that I looked at men with attraction in the past.

It's slowly relapsing... How do I avoid going back into the loop? I just want to have fun with my mates, meet women and love my life without questioning things. Ofc I know I can find men aesthetically good looking (handsome) but I hate these false groinal responses, constant anxiety, the idea of never knowing the answer when my whole life I've been certain of my sexuality. So can anyone help by telling that to do to stop a relapse

Besides of so-ocd, I'm always nervous and anxious when I'm in public. I'm afraid to look at people when I walk near them in the streets and I'm always worried I'm acting weird and awkard (sometimes I even feel almost tearsin my eyes without any reason!). I know it's due to anxiety, but is this related to ocd? If so, what theme is it?

Earlier I was down in the dumps because it was all feeling a bit to real, and it was almost like I was bisexual/gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but I just want to remind everyone who is struggling that everythings okay we got this !

I just want to be normal. Everyone around me is normal atleast I think. Why does my mind not find peace. Im tired of all these themes. Im still in denial even thought I have already been diagnosed. I cant stop ruminating and it has made everything worse. Why did I get OCD and could it be stopped? Medication seems to only silence it a little bit. Is this ok for a man to have ocd? So many damn questions and no answers.

It feels like all of a sudden I’ve become bisexual, and there’s no fear or anxiety? The attraction feels real. What do I do.

Guys I checked I feel like crap I need help

does anyone else wake up in the morning with a big spurt of anxiety about their ocd theme?? maybe even have it pop up in their dreams??

I've been dealing with SOOCD, I used to think that I'm a straight girl. I've been doing a lot better recently and I've managed to kind of calm myself down so I don't have as many panic attacks. But as I've became calmer and used to all of it, I'm still having problems with feeling any good about my orientation. I've always appreciated beautiful women, but in a "you're so pretty I'm geniuenly happy for you, I wish I looked like you" kind of way. Now my brain is telling me that it's a sign of being sexually interested in women. I've also considered many men attractive, but lately I've been having problems with that too - my brain shows me more and more attractive things in women, and less attractive things in men. So I'm much calmer now than I used to. And my calmer brain says that maybe I've always been bisexual and I should just accept it. I feel like I'm giving in, I'm too tired to fight anymore. I've lost control over my own life. I don't want to lose my attraction to men, I don't want to have a girlfriend... Can sexuallity just change one day? I've always thought it can't, but maybe I don't know sh*t... Should I just give in and lose myself? I really don't want to

Hey so I took some time off from this to just kinda practice on my own and also this form was kinda becoming a compulsion. But like I've made some good progress with my socd I'm doing my compulsions less and have less anxiety(unfortunately my ocd has shifted) but I've also gotten better at ocd overall. Don't give up everyone remember follow your heart that's what I did and my sexuality never changed, but it's kinda hard to stop liking girls when Christina Hendricks exits. Also don't read this again for reassurance

I feel like a shit partner and person for having these thoughts. Like a fraud, fake, like I'm forcing it.

Hello! This is the first post I’ve made in a while because I thought I was doing a lot better. I still got thoughts but was able to push them away. Unfortunately, I’ve gone back into an obsessive state that (this is stupid, but) I think the entire Callie Torres and Erica Hahn trope on Grey’s Anatomy threw me into. Erica talks about how she’s been with men her entire life and it was just okay until she got with women and her life changed. I keep seeing things like this now like, that’s how people realized they weren’t straight and it’s driving me insane. My mind keeps telling me that I should try it and that I want to but I don’t. I started to get my attraction back to men but now that’s gone. I used to watch Grey’s when I was younger and thought nothing of that entire situation. But now I can’t even bring myself to watch it, one of my favorite shows, because it triggers me. I also saw someone say they thought they were straight until they realized they just wanted the attention, and now my brain is telling me that’s how I am too. I knew the obsessions would come back as they always do but when they do they never feel like they’re gonna go away. It’s affecting my sleep and my mental health so much. I just want to feel normal again. That’s when I’m the happiest.

Does anyone else try to expose themselves to gay content ( meaning YouTube videos of lgbtq+) and get a weird feeling of being gay/accepted/ apart of it?

There is a memory that my mind keeps bothering me with. In the beginning of this, I would be worried about the same thing but get moments of clarity about it where I knew it was nothing. Now that I've thought about it more memories related to it, that I wouldn't exactly say is false but some of it could be. Either way, I don't know if now with this memory, this means more than I thought. But then again, it could be thst my ocd is worse now so it seems like it means more. I've gone years without worrying about this at all. I just don't want those moments of clarity to be for nothing.

I know reassurance isn't the way, ERP is... but I just can't help it anymore. Everywhere I look I see "proof" or "signs" of my "true sexuality" or the fact that I'm not actually het, but a late-bloomer queer woman. I know there's no way to be 100 percent sure, but I can't help but think of the destruction that will result in my bf's life if that were to be the case. Tbh, this theme has been looming over me for a while. It showed up once when i was 11 with a female classmate that i admired. Then, when i first started dating my current partner he told me a story about his best friend dating a girl who ended up "wasting his time" and breaking up due to wanting to experiment with the same sex. The caused IMMENSE anxiety. At that time, I was only about 20. But, I saw a spike starting March 15, 2022 when I encountered a masculine woman at my job. All I realized was "wow, that person has a nice eye color", yet here I am a year later STILL trying to proce/disapprove if I have attraction to the same sex. ANY woman I come across (relatives, random women, feminine, masculine, young and old) are IMMEDIATELY sexualized! It's INCREDIBLY distressing! Day and night, I'm bombarded with images or thoughts about va*inas, and doing out of character sexual acts with random women. I have a long history of liking, pining, crushing (and for once, actually falling in love) with men. I LOVVVEEE my partner. There has never been anyone more genuinely good for me! I also made the mistake of going to two gay male friends of mine at the beginning of all this. They both said something along similar lines: That they too thought they liked the "oppposite" sex, but later realized that this was just them conditioning themselves to feel this way. They actually liked the same sex but repressed it for personal reasons. One even laughed and said he thinks I'm going through the same thing as him, to either have an open relationship with my bf, experiment, or break up. All these options go against who I am and WHAT I genuinely want and value. Yet, somehow these conversations have stuck with me throughout all this. I've been in ERP for a while now... I've seen slow and steady progress. But more relapses, periods of confusion and depression more than anything. This makes me think that I was misdiagnosed with OCD and somehow lied or was not given the appropriate diagnosis. I know, it sounds unreasonable given my history, yet I still can't stop dwelling on the what ifs.... If someone can relate, please reach out. 🙏 My heart YEARNS to get engaged to my partner lately, get married eventually, and have a few kids. I hate that ocd tries to erase and contradict everything I've ever wanted....

Guys any tips on how to avoid it tell me to check I’m done with this I don’t want to give in

Is it possible to start finding the gender you once preferred undesirable? I try to imagine a future with men versus with women, and imagining ending up with men now makes me feel more anxious than being with women and I don’t know why.

Does anyone else’s OCD act up when they start their period/ when they are on their period?

My mind keeps telling me that I’ve been gay/bi my whole life but just didn’t realize it and it feels like the truth even though I’ve always had genuine attraction towards woman and never looked at a guy In that way (it also doesn’t help that throughout my life others have thought I was gay or part of the lgbtq [not that there’s anything wrong with being apart of it])

Feels like when I look at my own pp I get mouth sensations

Now I remember before I did want to go out with guys but I got thoughts like what if I embarrassed myself or what if I have to be emotionally vulnerable or stuff like that. I would also feel afraid of asking boys out for fear of being rejected. Now it's making me think that I never wanted to be with boys in the first place when I always imagined myself with a husband and if I couldn't it was bc I didn't think I would ever be able to get one. Not that I didn't want one. And I've liked boys all my life.

Regardless I understand it’s hard dealing ocd but I see alot people on here not having faith in themselves. Like I said I know it’s hard dealing ocd is a journey and kicks down to the ground. But everyone needs to have faith in themselves and understand that you aren’t alone and aren’t your thoughts. Believe in yourself!! Believe you will overcome this!! Believe that the grass is greener on the other side!! Stop seeking reassurance!! Just Believe you can win this battle by not giving in to urges, or rituals, etc.

Is it possible for intrusive thoughts to feel good? Like for example say ur having sex and you get an intrusive thought but it does something to the downstairs area even though ur like no I don’t want to think about this. This happens a lot to me and it kills me and my mood

I hate having so-ocd, but i know if im able to learn more about it and learn to manage it i can become stronger.

Hlo guys jay this side...i am suffering from hocd from the last 17months and i really need therapy...but i can't afford it...becuz my parents are not helping me with finances becuz we live in India and becuz of currency rates therapy become way costly...so can someone sponsor my therapy if possible..plss??

Man, recovery is so hard. Some days you feel better. Some days you feel right back where you started. Dealing with that uncertainty is tough and it’s hard to really not check and try to “figure it out.” I realized that I haven’t been genuinely arroused in a while. Feel like my entire libido is gone. Sucks……….

My heads not making me think that I was able to stand up to somebody today bc I'm gay. I haven't been fighting the thoughts for a couple of days and before when I did, I couldn't stand up for myself one time a couple of weeks ago even though I was angry and ready to defend myself, I didn't. It's making me think I could now bc I'm gay.

Does any anybody worry about being gay. I have been a straight man all my life and I’ve never participated in homosexual activities or anything in that nature. But I get intrusive thoughts like ur gay, u have to come out to ur parents, na d shot like that. But Ik I’m not gay. I’m just wondering if anyone has had this.

I find myself constantly checking for arousal/ attraction with my boyfriend vs. other people/ women… it seems like I’ve lost it with my boyfriend and I have become numb but I feel attraction towards others? Does anyone else have this? It’s almost like a light switch in my brain, it’s the weirdest thing.

Scrolling through Instagram and tik toks triggers me a lot and yet I still do it idk why. I’m just bored. But I hate the videos that pop up

My ocd try’s to make me feel like it’s not sexual but emotional and I didn’t like that feeling also didn’t care I feel like I’m spiraling but I need help trying not to reassure I thought I type it out to see if other people experience this

Recently it’s been feeling like these are my desires and that everytime I deny them or try to disregard that “I’m just denying my true desire”. Also does any else while getting these thoughts/sensations/feelings get the thought what would my parent think which makes it seem like your only fighting this battle for their sake and not yours

😂😂 it’s funny how ocd is messing with my memories, changing the memories I had with girls puting guys in it🤣🤣 I swear this false memories are messed up

I keep getting intrusive thoughts of “maybe I am my HOCD triggers and my fears” and it scares me so much… 😭😭😭 I don’t ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual in any way shape or form…

Just did an exposure of watching movies with masculine women in it. Only 2 movies I could think of where the women really reminded me of guys, their looks, their personalities. I remember watching it before and saying that yes I felt something bc they reminded me of guys but I also admired their personality to where I wanted to be like them. Now my mind is convinced I was in love with them. But, oh well, the feeling will go away, and I'll just remember that before, it didn't really bother me, so why should it now?

I hate how I question everything I question if I have intrusive thoughts if I do compulsions if I have ocd and if I’m straight or not I don’t feel like I’m scared of being gay and I hate feeling like that I feel like I’ll never be attracted to girls again and I’ll have to live a life with a guy and I feel like I’m in denial and im forcing myself to like stuff for other and I have false memories as well I just want to feel straight again

Does anybody else go on social media and then finds themselves looking at the person of the same gender and then looking them up on there social media’s(or watching their other videos) and then suddenly realizing what am I doing? Or something similar. (This has also become a recent thing for me)

Why do i feel like nothing bothers me anymore? I feel numb and i don’t understand it and no one has been able to help me understand it.

My OCD always kicks me while I'm down or while I'm weak. If I'm sick, tired, stressed, angry, overwhelmed, or having a chronic pain flare up, it shows up and lambasts me It's going on right now and I'm trying to hang on. It keeps giving me an alternate senarios that are way worse than the reality I'm living in and it's so frightening and sickening. I'm in physical pain and now I'm in mental pain. I'm trying to hang on and not give in. I need some encouragement, (Not reassurance)

Anybody else’s ocd tell them that your only fearing these things because your afraid of what you parent/ parents will think (even if they would except you)

I have Sexual Orientation OCD, but lately I been obsessed with a particular sexual activity that doesn't belong to any sexual orientation, which tecnically means that I could do it and still be straight, but it's something that doesn't make me confortable, I think or at least I hope, the point is that having this obssesiong makes me think that I can't be OCD cause no one else with Sexual orientation OCD has it

This is making me feel like I desire all of these things and I can’t even deny them, I can’t even go on social media anymore

Does anyone else stare at people's faces. It seems that with my ocd it centers focus on someone's face in this case a guy's face, but I have no issues seeing women. I hate it because it seems it's looking for something. Can't watch anything without focusing on someone's facial features. Kinda annoying.

So this girl I'm talking to explicitly online was describing how she... 18+ Was licking my behind... I felt uncomfortable by it but I kept doing my private time with her because I don't like confrontation. then when she was trying to describe herself pegging me, I stopped her right then and there... my HOCD is telling me that I'm in denial for this... please help...

I have been in a bad ocd episode since last March (yes I’m in therapy), and I was so discouraged last night bc I just feel like it’s been a year and being stuck w this awful subtype of ocd is ruining everything for me. But I was w my boyfriend and now he wants to know about my ocd cause I’m crying so much & im so scared that if I tell him he will think I’m a monster and leave me. This sucks.

I just had this thought while trying to do some exposure, and it was me coming out to my family and being happy about it, and now it feels like I desire that and want it ( I even felt like crying tears of joy) now I’m freaking out and wondering is this what I truly want !?

Hocd making me think I was attracted to women's personalities before. But I didn't think I was. There were a couple of girls who seemed like guys to me and my mind is making me think thst their personalities did too and that I had a crush on their personalities. Even if their personalities were involved, it was overall, they seemed so masculine. But I never, ever was physically attracted or wanted to be with any one of them. I hate it. When it brings in personalities it makes me seem like I had a type of woman I liked, when I didn't.

I keep getting sudden anxiety, the urge to make up a scenario to test arousal or to research and compare but how do I stop all that? Right now my OCD isn't as bad and I'd love to keep it that way.

How do I get over the realness feeling of being gay/bisexual?

Can ocd convince me that I don’t want to be straight ?

Why cant my brain doing productive things instead of jumping between intrusive thoughts and cumpulsions 😤😤😤

Does anyone else catch themselves staring at the same gender whether it be in videos or an imagine online?

I feel like my OCD slowly developed. What I mean is looking at my past my fear has always been a trigger for me So my OCD will latch onto that and tell me that’s how I’ve always been and that I’m just in denial Example: seeing a child I got anxious and thought I can’t go near them. It didn’t stick but 5 years later, now it’s one of my main themes

Does anyone else start to overthink about being gay/lesbian in your head but as soon as you say it out loud ‘im a lesbian’ it just doesn’t feel right and feels like im joking about?