Transgender OCD - Community

Should I give into my OCD compulsions?

when in a headspace that is not consumed by intrusive thoughts, does anyone else intentionally call upon them to in a way “check” for a certain reaction or gain certainty? i feel the urge to do this all the time and it’s is so self sabotaging especially when it comes to making progress in recovery.

this is something that really keeps me in an ocd cycle. when i think about recovery i feel happy and a sense of overwhelming freedom. i have had a taste of what that could be like over the last few months in the progress that i have made. however, i couldn’t help but notice just how much brainpower and time my OCD takes up. i had so much time to think about other aspects of my life and these thoughts usually override. i then - when i fell back into a cycle - questioned whether i would actually miss thinking my thoughts once they’re gone. i tell myself of course i won’t because of the stress that they have causes me over the last few years of my life but i think this is ultimately due to the fact that testing and thinking the thoughts is my safety net in ensuring that these thoughts never come true. it’s such a strange feeling. of course i want my thoughts to go away so that i can live a life that is free of this entrapment but i can’t help but feel attached to them in some strange way. this also triggers me into thinking my thoughts aren’t intrusive when they are. it’s literally emotional turmoil. anyone else? (you are not alone <3)

i feel as though my themes sit on something like a roulette wheel that just keeps on turning. for instance, i will get through a rough time with one of my themes and feel on top of the world but then another will rush into my brain straight away, immediately filling the peaceful space that i just made. it is so exhausting but the hope of recovering keeps me going :) p.s whatever you’re going through, you are never alone <3

i go through ups and down with my ocd. i will have strong days where i have the ability to resist compulsion and checking but then i completely ruin my progress by fulfilling the urge to check “just to make sure” my thoughts do not have ahold of me anymore. sometimes when i react to a thought by telling myself “i do not want this” etc. it only makes me feel as though i want said thought more which leads me to spiral and question whether my thoughts are even intrusive at all when realistically i know they are. it is so so frustrating. when i am able to just accept my thoughts for what they are - thoughts - and lack any sort of reaction towards them which is what i want with my OCD to reduce the anxiety they cause it makes me question whether i now want to act upon the content of my thought and it feels like a never ending, trapping cycle with no way out. this leaves me feeling as though i have no way in relieving the stress that these thoughts cause me, i grow completely hopeless. this cycle is tiring and constant, an emotional rollercoaster. anyone else relate? (if you do i just want you to know that you are not alone <3)

hii, i have tocd and i want to start doing erp, and those things to get better hahah 🥹 but i really don’t know what to expose myself to? do you have any ideas? how do y’all expose yourselves? i really want to get better, im trying non engagement responses but sometimes they don’t really work:( any ideas?

How to make your self calm before going bed. I scared every night that i see dreams about soocd. Sleeping is hard.

Does anyone else get tired of transgender ocd? Like you just want it to leave you be but you can't stop thinking about it, but thinking about it makes you sick?

i think i may be as i genuinely get upset when thinking abt the fact that i cant be a cis male and i do enjoy being called a he and presenting masculine like i love it and it makes me feel great but i get really obsessive about whether its just ocd or i really am trans. like i want to be male so bad but like my mom always says its ocd and i cant tell if its ocd or not and im so confused😭😭 ive been reading posts under this tag and i see like a lot of ppl describing it as "not wanting to be trans" but i genuinely want to be a guy so bad but idk if its ocd or not bc ive had similar things in the past (for example ive been having rlly bad pocd recently) so like help???

I don’t feel in control of myself anymore and it’s really scary like I can’t tell if it’s because of depersonalization but I don’t feel like me anymore and just feel numb and empty which scares me and makes me feel like I’m not in control

Can your old sub type/ theme come back when deal with a new sub type/ theme?

im taking meds bc my ocd won’t let me sleep sometimes but i feel like they’re making me have nightmares and sometimes my ocd themes get into my dreams as well. have you ever had nightmares about that? i don’t know if it’s something ocd it’s causing or meds, so i’m a bit confused . should i tell my psychiatrist or it’s normal? hahaha

I guess this is just a chance for me to air some of my difficulties out about all I’ve been going through lately. It feels like I’ve lost so much of myself to all of this. I’ve been accepting the thoughts and saying “maybe, maybe not” but I’m still in the early phases so of course the anxiety is high from not answering, and the dissociation is only really getting stronger because of that. I know I want to be a guy but doubt exists and sometimes it gets super strong. I have to learn to sit with that discomfort more and not look in mirrors or look at old photos or come here for reassurance because that isn’t healthy. It’s only made it worse for me. Old photos used to be reassurance and helped a lot but certain photos now trigger anxiety in me, because they’re associated with days where I felt these obsessive thoughts very strongly. Even now I find myself looking in the mirror and fearing that I might start disliking some part of myself and that’ll mean I have dysphoria or something. It’s warped my entire perspective, even in past memories it’s hard to remember not feeling like this, even though this is a new theme and has only been happening since the start of this month (OCD thoughts since April). I’m tired and afraid but I’m not giving up. I hope you’ll all stay strong with me because we’ll get through this

Hi. A few days ago my theme switched to TOCD (trans ocd). I’m honestly not even concerned that I am trans, as I know this is ocd and not me truly. However ANYTIME I see a male, my brain relentlessly questions of I want to be him. Its making it hard to talk to my boyfriend, who is usually my saving grace from my other ocd themes. It would kill me if this ruined our relationship. He is the love of my life. Any advice or comfort would be so appreciated

does anyone else just not feel like themselves anymore? I feel like my perception and just how I feel about myself has completely switched I just feel so weird all the time I do not feel feminine at all and I get kind of scared that I like switched a personality or something you know like multiple personality disorder idk but I can still remember everything or at least try to which has me really scared now actually because before I had a really bad memory but now I can remember like so much of my past I guess idk? but I could still remember stuff before it was just hard to. I feel connected but also so disconnected at the same time idk how to explain it and then my thoughts are so loud but seem to be like someone is talking in the back of my head or something I don’t know and now I’m really scared I might have this disease!! I don’t know how it got here or to this point I’m so scared now it started with me thinking I was transgender randomly and now I just don’t feel like myself at all or like I know who I am at all and when I’m with or talking to people I’m fine but then by myself I’m just panicking all the time and I’m always so aware of myself and like of my body I’m not sure if I’m experiencing like depersonalization or something i really don’t know

Can groinals feel like continous uncomfortable arousal feeling on down there. It stops just when you stop think about it.

have you ever tried to do erp on your own? i haven’t found any therapist who specializes on ocd/erp and i’m having such an awful time with all this. sometimes i just wish i could talk with someone who understands the way i feel, i have one friend with ocd but i don’t want to overwhelm her or anything and i feel so alone:( my family try their best to understand but they really can’t bc they don’t have ocd and meds aren’t helping. i just want to feel good again i miss the old me:( i literally hate ocd.

I have questions to ask!!

okay i have a huge question, i feel like meds are really not working at all, im on sertraline and it’s been almost a month and sometimes i feel the same way i used to feel without it. when i’m having an episode i take clonazepam and sometimes i feel like it works and it helps, but sometimes it’s really unhelpful. like idk. i feel like i’m the one causing me the anxiety but i can’t stop 😭 im going to tell my therapist i want to try erp, maybe that’s why nothing else is helping. do y’all feel like that?

The thoughts are getting so strong and I feel overwhelmed. It’s not even quite anxiety to the thoughts. I feel so lost and afraid I’m scared I’m going to start hating who I am now because of this TOCD obsession. I don’t like to be desperate but any suggestions on what I should do? I’m at work right now and won’t be going home for another 4 hours and I feel so overwhelmed. I just wanna feel normal again I can’t take this state of fear and constant questioning

do you feel like nobody actually understands what you’re trying to explain about your obsessions/fears? i was talking to my mom and she was like, “i have intrusive thoughts as well”, “i question everything as well” and i was like yeah, we all do that, but i have obsessions about it. like she was really nice and she tries her best, but i’m afraid of people just saying im denying it. i know she literally can’t understand the way i feel bc she doesn’t have ocd, but sometimes it’s so exhausting i don’t even want to talk

Cuz I saw a video from one therapist about rocd that some of his clients broke up with the partners after therapy (see 52 Minute) https://youtu.be/DrOX9hHJv2U So it’s possible that after therapy some people with hocd realise they are gay? :-(

People opinions differing from mine on something that I hold dear gives me intense anxiety. It rips apart my identity when I feel like what ive always liked or believed may not be true or correct and im extremely concerned with right and wrong on things that are close to my heart. What is this? How do I get around this? It feels like my identity is being erased. Holy shit my anxiety has been crippling today, its concentrated all in my chest. I can hardly focus on anything.

I dont know why I feel so depressed and filled with disabling anxiety. Surely if I was gay or trans itd make me calm right? Or the presence of depression/anxiety not prove anything?

I’m a teenage girl, who wants to have a “normal” teenage girl life. I have a boyfriend who I am just head over heels for, good friends, I am confident in my looks, and personality, but I am just absolutely plagued by transgender ocd rn. It has completely taken over my life. I have always had dreams of being a mother but now I’m scared that it won’t happen bc of these thoughts. Why is this happening to me. I have never questioned my gender in my entire life, I am a girl, so why does my brain tell me I’m not. The thought of being a boy makes me feel gross, and I just want my life back. It was so so so good before this happened. I don’t want this to be happening anymore but I have no one to go to, and I have no idea how to begin treating this. Please someone who had experienced this tell me what helped you

ok hi, i have a question. have you ever done online tests? i do that all the time, no matter what obsession im dealing with, i need to be sure if thats the real me or just reassurance/compulsion. and sometimes the results are what expected and it’s helpful, but some others are like “u might have some symptoms of it” or “it’s probable that you are ….. “or stuff like that. idk if i’m the only one but it drives me crazyyyyy :(

does anyone else not feel like themselves when they go through a bad ocd cycle?? i wondered if it’s related because i’ve been having really bad anxiety and intrusive thoughts lately and i completely don’t feel like myself. does anyone else feel this??

Not only does my SOCD try to use sensory reactions/frontal responses,real events that happened in my past as “evidence”, and constantly have me ruminate and tell me it’s not OCD but it also tells me that my feelings are internalized homophobia. Does anyone else feel like that too?

At the beginning of my hocd I had a huge anxiety but I still had some clarity. Than the anxiety decreases and it was better but now it’s strange. The things just changed so much. I feel like another person. I don’t know if it’s hocd anymore. I don’t have intrusive thoughts and all the symptoms or compulsions. I just choose to ruminate all the time about my sexual orientation cuz I have proofs from the past that I could be lesbian like watching lesbian porn and I try to reassure myself that it’s not a sign that everything it’s fine but it just doesn’t work anymore. And my current sex life with my boyfriend does not help too. I don’t know if I have still doubts. It feels like I know that I am lesbian and the feelings are true, but I just don’t want act on it or try to deny it or convince myself that I am still attracted to men but it’s like trying to convince myself that elephant can fly. The signs are just so logical :-( and convinced … Can someone relate?

Now when I think about attraction I don’t know why I was attracted to men and not to women. Men and women seems to be the same. The only difference is appearance and I am not aroused by naked men :-(. And it seems like women are prettier some kind for me though I wasn’t attracted to them. It seems like I only liked men cuz it’s the default like all romantic movies etc were always about straight love. Why some people are attracted to men and some to women? I don’t understand it all anymore.

Its impossible to start exercising and working out with tocd. I have no drive to sweat and lift because I dont feel like a dude or masculine as I once did. Wtf do I do, I cant get into the mindset or motivation to do it, ive tried to hype myself up but it just dosent work bc I dont feel masculine.

I’m trying to accept these thoughts but they don’t feel like ocd and they feel like it’s my “true self” but every time I think of being a guy or presenting as a guy it just makes me depressed because I really don’t want to but I’m so tired of fighting these thoughts that I feel like I just have to accept it but I’ve never felt more bad about myself and my confidence has never been lower I hate this I don’t even want to be with girls!! like I just really don’t but now I don’t even want to be with guys because I just don’t feel good about myself and I don’t want to be with them as another guy ughh!!!! Why’d this have to happen I swear!!!

Does it ever feel like the thing you have always done feel completely wrong/strange/uncomfortable to you and that you should not do it?

i feel like I don’t even recognize or feel like myself at all anymore I don’t know how to explain it but I just don’t feel like a person anymore like I just feel numb

I think there is no other choice but to accept that I could be my thoughts If i want to recover even though Im certain I am them already. I had 2 "decent" days this week and got more shit done than I have in 2 entire years. I cannot fall back into the same depression routines, it was too damaging.

When I post during stressful moments and people reply with reassuring msg, it dosent reassure me, it dosent relieve any anxiety or depression and i dismiss it instantly as fake and not real.

I know how hard it is and how much you feel like you’ve lost yourself because of it, but just know you aren’t alone. Even if the thoughts start to feel real and you develop insecurities or fears because of them, try to remember that you wouldn’t be so afraid of these thoughts if it’s what you really wanted. I’m still learning myself, but it’s important to let the thoughts flow. It’s so hard because part of me feels like I’m accepting that I’m trans if I do that, but that’s the OCD talking. Believe it or not, but life isn’t about having immediate answers, even though our brains can really convince us that we need a solid one right away. We can challenge this notion, but of course at our own pace. Just know that I’m here if anyone needs to talk. If you wanna drop your Instagram or Twitter handle, I’m down to talk with anyone :) we got this everyone

I see that many women with hocd say that they experience arousal when they are looking on naked women. But I think they are talking about physical arousal and I think it’s normal to experience it by anything regarding sex. But what makes me scared it’s the fact that I think I also experience mental arousal, so real arousal not only Groinals. It’s not like that that I want to do something with woman in real life but I have enjoyed lesbian porn in the past and I think it was also mental thing cuz I enjoyed the fantasies and thoughts? I am scared now that my case is different and I am really in denial :-(

every time I try to reassure myself or reaffirm that I am a girl I get so anxious and then feel disconnected to my body and get so nauseous and anxious but I love being a girl what the heck I hate this so much!!

I just started I would like to know for those who r on it how it work out for you

Can someone explain?

when you’re looking back at past memories to try and reassure or reaffirm that what you’re feeling is ocd do they just make your ocd worse by making you think that what you’re feeling is how you felt when you were younger? I’m getting so scared that I felt like a boy but didn’t know it, they feel so real and I’m starting to think they were because before I could never remember my memories but there are so many old ones that feel so close and feel like they were me or are me and idk it just feels so weird like I feel more present or something but I don’t want to be a guy I feel like I’m being controlled by something I don’t know!!! i do not feel like how I used to and I’m so uncomfortable (Tocd subtype btw)

i feel like my ocd does not let me be happy, I was getting to a point where I felt really good about myself and then it all just like crumbled

does anyone feel like when you start feeling like yourself again that it’s a trap and that that’s not your true self?

I can't even tell if im scared or anxious anymore of my tocd and just feel like im using ocd as an excuse and that im in denial or something I feel so discouraged and want to cry

Heyy everybody I’m currently on meds and therapy for OCD but i get more thoughts then I used to have but I’m feeling less anxious and also my theme is switching all the time for example two days ago I had trans ocd and yesterday it turned into incest ocd ! So it’s really hard to do ERP when you deliberately expose yourself to the triggers I’m trying to cut compulsions and I stopped answering to my thoughts but to honest it’s been almost 2 months I’m doing ERP and for now I can see a little improvement bc I know ocd so it doesn’t touch me as it used to be but it still bothers me cause the thoughts and imagine r here all the time…. I was just wondering if some ppl experience the same thing then I do. Thanks 😊

ok with my whole Tocd and soocd anxiety going on I have been trying to like remover my past more and like old memories to reassure myself but now I keep getting so scared that it’s confirming I might be gay or trans like I want to throw up I didn’t feel like this ever and now I feel like I might be and that I’m like convincing myself I am I don’t even know it doesn’t even make me anxious anymore I hate this I feel like I’m just yelling at all wall saying I told you so or something

And this is tormenting me. I cannot recognise myself in the mirror and it’s starting to feel so real. All the Gender dysphoria tests online ask questions like ‘do you stop and question your identity on a form that asks you your gender’ like, ofc my mind tells me I have to, how does that mean I have GD, do I?! I’m so scared

i don’t feel like a girl anymore when i have perceptions of myself I don’t see myself as a girl I don’t know if it’s because of being so over aware but I hate it. I hate it so much I want to feel like me again!!

when you start feeling like yourself again or you might be on your way to feeling like yourself again do you think or feel like it’s a trap? sometimes when I’m feeling better I think or guess I get guilty and like fall back into my intrusive thoughts or something as if I belong there does that make sense? Like I might be moving on from my ocd too fast or something? Idk it’s so weird I’m not sure how to best put it into words or I think like this isn’t your true self or whatever and what your intrusive thoughts are, are real if that makes sense

I can’t tell if I’m dissociating, I don’t feel like I am but there are times where I get extremely fuzzy vision and I’ll get supper light headed and when I’m trying to be present or pay attention to something it feels like I’m mentally hitting a wall does anyone else feel this way ?

Feeling extremely restless and uncomfortable bc i havent been obsessing too hard for 2 days and have not talked about ocd or whatever this is with anyone either. Im dying to get some answers.

I am scared now that I wasn’t really attracted to men in the past, but I just wanted to be like them, to be so funny, self confident etc :/ :(. Can someone relate?

Is it possible I unintentionally made my brain think i had Hocd bc in the beginning of this i read about hocd intrusive thoughts before i really even had any thoughts, or maybe i misunderstood some other thing with hocd thoughts and my brain accidentally created an incomplete form of ocd in me where i had most symptoms but my thoughts were also true?

Do u ask yourself this question? I am scared if I were a man I would not be a gay man but a straight men :-(. I am scared I just don’t see myself with a woman only cuz I am a woman myself and it just doesn’t suit cuz when I was a kid all movies etc were about straight couples and there was little gay representation in the world at all.

i replied to a comment of a transphobic person in a post of a trans actor, something i would’ve always done. right now i’m physically nervous, shaking and my heart is beating really fast. even though this has happened before when i get into passive aggressive conversation, being honest with myself, arguments, on comments, i always get like this. physically shaking and heart racing but god does it feel like a threat and basically my brain yell “you’re in the closet!” “denial!” right now. like, this reaction didn’t matter before. not with the other stuff, now i’m overanalyzing it and it feels important now. oh. my god.

I think i am gonna start therapy soon but yeah i am only 14 and this is really scary for me

The whole time I have sexual thoughts about a person she Is a famous woman and I never wanted to change who I am just to get with a woman I am ftm but the thought and everything seems so real like I want It but literally the sex part not like the part before you do It. But I also don't wanna think this and these thoughts won't leave me mind and makes me doubt everything again like what If I ever go somewhere be a girl and meet a girl like here://

I want to rebuild my identity and life but ocd has turned my brain into pulp. I cannot think anything without ocd infesting it, unsure about every decision and thought i have, Oh and my focus and attention span is gone. Is there anything i can do to fix the last 2?

Seeing another therapist soon but i dont feel least bit of hope or excitement bc i genuinely think and know that its not ocd and anything besdies accepting my truth is futile and waste. Fuck man, im so frustrated

Did anyone with Sexual ocd recover fully And if so how? I saw a women who identify as male dresses manly and looks like a man I saw his picture on fb and I thought he looked good , I freaked out I’m straight 💯 but this is messing me up Anyone with similar ocd?

Psychodynamic theories of OCD state that obsessions and compulsions are signs of unconscious conflict that you might be trying to suppress, resolve, or cope with. 11 These conflicts arise when an unconscious wish (usually related to a sexual or aggressive urge) is at odds with socially acceptable behavior. What do u think about it? Is it true and we are in denial?

I might have adhd and maybe autism but this triggers and depresses me so so hard bc almost all trans people have these issues too. I feel my heart drop anytime im reminded of this or come across a trans person online and find out they have either condition.

I’ve had a couple days that felt really good! I felt more like myself than I have in a while, and then as if to counter I had such strong thoughts/feelings that I’m a man lol. I thought maybe some folks would relate, when you have moments where it’s really quiet and you feel “normal”, and then it jumps back even stronger. I just did a bunch of researching compulsions that I haven’t done in months, but caught myself and am trying to move on. This is such a pestery, doubt-y thing

I genuinely had a mental break down an hour ago lol it feels like every time I use ERP or ACT my brain automatically starts to ruminate on my themes or tries to use my coping mechanism to get rid of the thoughts instead of accept them I feel like I’m just wasting my life on it

Can compulsions/reassurance completely stop working?

…changing. I’m having trouble doing ERP hierarchy because my OCD changes theme all the time !! So it’s really hard to do ERP when ur theme is always changing and of course looking for the compulsions who can be different. Any advices ? Is there some ppl who struggle with that too??

has anyone else with Tocd lost interest in the things they used to enjoy/and do. I used to read all the time and naturally gravitate towards heterosexual romance books but I havent been able to pick one up since these thoughts have started, and I have tons I still want to read and desperately want to pick up but im scared of how I’ll feel or if I won’t enjoy it like I used to

if anyone is even seeing this, be easy on me. i’m terrible at drawing even though i really wanna learn, i just felt like i had to draw this before, “(and if)”, my obsessions become true. i’m probably gonna delete this because this is really bad either way, please feel free to judge

Is it still considered a compulsion if im genuinely trying to find an answer to the thoughts and feelings? When i was at the height of my Hocd, i was genuinely trying to understand whaty my thoughts meant as opposed to what hocd sufferers genrally do, proving that they arent gay or trans. Is this all still ocd?

I been really questioning If I am trans lately I dressed as up as a girl with long hair also and felt like a "cis girl/woman" and like I had Insecurities that woman' also have going true me head. I panicked and freaked out and changed me clothes and stuff. But the only thing K can think about what If I am wrong and am cis?? Like the whole time Zi think what If I am a girl and want a bigger chest and stuff. But when I am trying to be that person I am like preding. These thoughts and urges and feeling and Images look and feel so real. Idk If any anybody can help me out or Is this just OCD????

did deactivating some of your social media accounts help? i have twitter and it’s fun sometimes seeing the jokes people make but it’s filled with spiritual and zodiac sign related posts that seem to say things or mention things that might confirm that my intrusive thoughts are true (Tocd) along with angel numbers attached that make just want to break down and cry, should I deactivate my account?

Can someone answer on my last post?

If im unsure about my thoughts being unwanted or nor then it isnt ocd? It never feels like i have ocd, like ever at any given time.

Does anyone feel as though they don’t recognize themselves anymore if you have tocd? I keep getting the feeling that I don’t know myself anymore when I look into the mirror

Does anyone else see angel numbers all the time? When I had my first intrusive thought about tocd I saw 222 and now every time i think about my tocd I see angel numbers and it’s getting so overwhelming and feels like I’m being told this is who I am but I’ve never felt that way before and was comfortable in my body but now I’m confused and don’t know what to think or what these angel numbers could be saying or referring to

Does anyone else have OCD based on sexual orientation? I came a cross a trans gender (female to male) And she looked similar to a guy I dated Suddenly I felt attracted to this person and my ocd is up the roof I’m straight abs these thoughts are causing me severe anxiety I don’t like and don’t want to be attracted to her I know th e feelings are fake yet it still haunts me I’m taking pills and it helped a lot but I relapsed I can’t take this anymore Anyone?

After 11 months, last night it felt like i was a guy, i had this urge to hit the gym and get big but iinstantaneously it felt like that feeling was fake/synthetic and i was forcing myself to be a guy to avoid being a girl because my true self is a girl. Im completely entangled in this sexuality/gender themes.

Im so tired of feeling like shit for so long, ive been trying to gather courage to rebuild my identity and personality but everytime i do that it feels like i will realize or end up as gay/trans when i feel that all my energy and motivation comes crashing down and i feel depressed again. Its like i dont know at all who i will be once i get my identity back and become normal again, i really dont know who i will become or who i am right now

Whats the difference bw Gad and Ocd? Im worried that i have gad and not ocd. One thing i read about gad is that the thoughts and feelings are not unwanted and i too dont know if i want my thoughrs or not, idk does this mean i dont have ocd?

Im worried ive misunderstood my Gad for Ocd.

Well i new here the thing that make me most fear right now is i maybe changed my gender and sexual orientation look i in extreme stress from the final exam period in my college and i cant think right if i imagining that i having a sex with a guy as a woman my heart go to 150 -160 on my apple watch and from this extreme stress in cum from it Is this normal from extreme stress in a stressful situation to ejaculate ? Please in kinda lost

Well i new here the thing that make me most fear right now is i maybe changed my gender and sexual orientation look i in extreme stress from the final exam period in my college and i cant think right if i imagining that i having a sex with a guy as a woman my heart go to 150 -160 on my apple watch and from this extreme stress in cum from it Is this normal from extreme stress in a stressful situation to ejaculate ? Please in kinda lost

Can someone please help with tocd? It’s very new to me. I won’t stop. I feel so disgusting and I just want the thoughts to go away. Please someone help me

Sighs man, i want to vanish from this planet. Ocd has beaten me, theres nothing more to it, id like to cry and release some of this stress but my brain and thoughts are in too much disarray.

I feel so gross when I think about being transgender especially when I’m in a relationship with an amazing man. I wanna be a woman because that’s how I was born and that’s what I’ve always been comfortable with. These thoughts are very irrational and not me at all. I don’t understand what’s happening

I feel so gross when I think about being transgender especially when I’m in a relationship with an amazing man. I wanna be a woman because that’s how I was born and that’s what I’ve always been comfortable with. These thoughts are very irrational and not me at all. I don’t understand what’s happening

I feel so gross when I think about being transgender especially when I’m in a relationship with an amazing man. I wanna be a woman because that’s how I was born and that’s what I’ve always been comfortable with. These thoughts are very irrational and not me at all. I don’t understand what’s happening

Increasingly feeling depressed each passing minute, constant bouts, fatigue, anxiety, brain fog, dissociation, suicidal ideation, Obsession, im unable to function at all, all my energy is sapped away. Can being in denial of my sexuality/gender identity do this?

i’m watching a movie (How To Train Your Dragon. yeah. literally.) and simply because the main character fits the category of my triggers. this is because of trans-ocd and so-ocd. i’m also going to watch Gravity Falls soon. is this a good idea? facing triggers? i still sometimes feel like i want to become them and that anytime soon i could turn into these things, but i noticed that they trigger me much much less now after i’ve faced justa. few of them. the actual triggers don’t trigger me anymore, the obsession does, but not the actual specific triggers. of course this sometimes makes me think “oh well, you’ve accepted it or are starting to accept it. that’s why it doesn’t trigger you anymore”, but seriously, i’m not as triggered as before.

A week ago I didn't mind my pronouns. Now I'm afraid of them. I feel like an impostor

I dont know anymore. I feel like Im being forced into being trans even though Ive never had a problem with femininity before this all started. Now after months of tocd im so uncomfortable with watching women,especially when they wear really tight clothing. I dont feel like a boy either but Im stll so scared it will progress and then Ill want it… God I just want to ve fine with what I am!! This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me!!!!

Two days ago I felt so much anxiety about the thoughts. Today they don't gave me that much anxiety so I thought "okay it must be true then and not ocd" and just sort of accept it but i kept on checking if it is really true or not and imagining myself in different situations and testing my response. and that's when I realize I'm still in this ocd loop. Once I catch myself ruminating it's hard to stop. And after thinking and trying to find an answer all day I just feel tired and indiferent towards it at the end. And I think that's the goal, to not give it importance (even though ocd will tell you: hey! Wyd? Try to figure this out now. "if you don't feel anxious, it's because you like it") I don't know how long can this last but I'll try to enjoy the few hours of peace

I have had tocd thoughts but now I dont feel myself on a dress anymore. Feels so real.

I want to enjoy my summer holiday!!! But i can't.

I’ve been working through recovery for tocd, and recently been having setbacks. I’m realizing that something I’ve been doing is sometimes consciously sometimes unconsciously, checking what gender I think I feel over and over throughout the day. I’m sure you can guess that my brain says man and that’s, obviously still distressing. I’ve been doing my best to just acknowledge like “yup totally, feel like a man” and move on, but I’m curious if anyone has any tips to help stop the checking from the start. Thanks in advance!

Is it normal to have dreams related to your intrusive thoughts? is it maybe normal that those dreams they appear as, "positive", as "appealing", or as if you're "going to do them" or a lot of other contexts I've been having non stop dreams lately that cause me to wake up extremely early just to feel worried, unconfortable, anxious, sad, and tired i feel extremely triggered by those dreams and I don't like it any advice? Does anyone has it going on?

Today hasn't been a good day, a lot of triggers, a lot of emptiness, lot of sensations, sadness, confusion, and tiredness. When are the professional acknowledge how difficult and different can OCD identity teams be in difference with other themes, not that I'm minimizing the other themes but there's a difference i feel, the Trauma, the extreme fear, the extreme confusion, the extreme pain and the list goes on. When are the experts go more indepth with themes that need to be even more visible TOCD POCD ZOCD and other ones that need extreme attention and are not talked about enough.