- Date posted
- 4y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
You’re not alone… I feel the same way. I feel comfortable with my guy friends but my mind keeps putting pictures in my head about me dating them and being romantic with them.. it’s scary.. I know.. and it’s scarier to think that at some point, you’re gonna have to accept the thoughts that come Into your head, because if you don’t, they’ll keep coming back again and again.
- Date posted
- 4y
Yup it’s truly the worst
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@PinkLotus I’m honestly just glad I’m not the only one thinking about it
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous You’re definitely not alone
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s like I’m losing every single piece of myself, everything that I was content with just ripped from me. I used to get home after hanging out with my boyfriend and just replay the day in my mind, I’d get nervous and excited to see him, I’d think of our kisses, the way it felt when he held me and touched me. Back then I could’ve written books on how much he meant to me and how much I loved my beautiful boy, I’d hold him and just want him closer. I’d dream about him and fantasize about sleeping next to him and waking up and going down the path of life together. I never ever felt that way about my best friend, yes I liked being close to her but only because I was so alone and I became attached to her as my only friend because all my other friends pushed me away. I even miss when the soocd was so bad I’d cry at night just praying to god that even if I was a lesbian I could still be with my boyfriend. I hate that during intimacy I feel aversion to touching him because of how afraid I am. I’m just so afraid of being so vulnerable and getting hurt, I’m scared of disappointing or not being enough, I’m scared that I’m not reacting enough or doing enough but all I truly want is to be able to desire it. I love him and I love how it feels when we’re close, I love when he kisses me and put’s his hands on my face and pulls me closer. I just want him to feel desired and loved , but I feel like I’m failing him with these feelings of anxiety and these bad thoughts. I don’t want him to be with someone who isn’t attracted to him or doesn’t desire him, but I so badly want to be attracted to him and I so badly want to desire him. I can’t keep hurting him like this, he’s too kind and patient. But I don’t want him to be with anyone else or give anyone else the life I want with him. I don’t want anyone else to know about his body or the way he is in bed. I want to know all of him both mentally and physically. I feel like a failure and a fraud and I hate myself so much
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
There’s this guy I just worked with who honestly felt like another version of me, someone who I could get along with massively. Everything we’d talk about was the same, our interest, our taste in films and music, it felt amazing to have someone to chat to. I can’t lie he was also physically very much my type, so I do fancy him. I said to my friend that I think I found the love of my life, but the sad thing is he’s taken so I’ll take having a crush dip and suppress the fact I fancy him and she went all serious with me. Started saying “good because that can ruin a friendship, especially with a girlfriend”, and it wasn’t meant to be so deep and now it’s got me massively overthinking. I’ve only known him a very short time but I wanted a friendship to be there yk, we’ll never really see one another every again after the festival but it felt nice to have had such a good friendship, even if I feel like I’m another life he would be the perfect one. Can I not feel like that and still have a friendship? I’m never gonna do anything about it, I currently like someone else and he also has a gf, but can I not joke about it without it being all serious? I’m massively overthinking it
- Date posted
- 21w
So I know for a fact that I'm not ready for relationships. It's just not something I feel like I can do due to insecurities, self confidence, anxiety, and self esteem getting in the way of that. It's something that's always on my mind due to fomo and societal norms. I know I would like one but I haven't found any other reasons beyond the biological want. There's a woman that I really do like spending time with and I kept thinking of trying to chat with her more just as a friend to hang out and just get to know her more. Everytime I've seen her it's been a great time and we get along really well. We click on a lot of things and have big interests in common. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think of her as a romantic partner but I just know that's not something I can do. Is it disingenuous to try and be friends with her despite having this on my mind time and time again? This is the one thing I could never find myself getting over.
- Date posted
- 11w
Y’all I think I’m dealing with false attraction but idk and I can’t tell. It’s bugging me. It’s one specific (female) friend of mine lately. Idk if it’s cuz she’s a lesbian and it’s playing on my soocd or smthn. I keep having groinal responses around her. I don’t see her like that but I’m worried I either am starting to or already do and am suppressing it but I have had no interest in her in the last 2 years she’s been in our group. This started somewhat recently and every time someone makes a sexual joke or smthn (like flashing or twerking) it causes a groinal response and I just kinda shut down. I don’t feel anything in the crush sense of the word. And it’s bugging me that I’m having these thoughts and I keep having thoughts of my bf and then my friend gets placed into the thought and it just makes me upset. Annoyed. I feel this tightness in my chest and it’s not good. I like seeing this friend but I don’t get excited seeing her. I wonder where she is when she’s gone but I do that with all of my friends, if one doesn’t show to our group dinners I ask. I worry I’m making too much eye contact when we talk. I keep checking if I’m feeling anything anywhere but it’s just a persistent groinal response and I’m worried it’s attraction
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