Thread
kto24
9d ago
  • Relationship OCD

I told my girlfriend in depth about my ROCD today and initially I felt relief but now all the doubts are creeping back in. She's long distance and I worry I timed telling her wrong, just before she left. I worry that telling her was just me confessing and has actually fed into the ROCD. And I'm scared that telling her all my worries has massively undermined the relationship and any faith she might have had in it. We were having a really nice weekend and I think maybe this has ruined everything. I feel very lost with where to go from here and how to accept the feelings or work through them. I don't feel like I have any intuition for anything any more, I'm doubting myself at every turn. Does anyone have any tips or exercises moving forward? Both for me personally and possibly for us as a couple. Also, if anyone has any tips for being able to distinguish real relationship worries versus OCD.

Lotte93
9d ago
Relief followed by catastrophic doubt is the very nature of OCD. But don't beat yourself up for confessing, it's how we learn. Take a deep breath. Accept that you're in for some discomfort, as hard as that is. Gently turn you attention to an action that you find meaningful - exercise, reading, your favourite show, housework...whatever. Those thoughts are going to creep in. Expect it. Accept it. Keep doing what you're doing. Resist the temptation to text your gf to see if everything is ok. Sit with the discomfort and keep doing what you're doing. I know how unbelievably impossible that sounds. Only a couple of weeks ago I really believed it to be impossible. Now I realise its not only possible, its helpful. Those troublesome thoughts are learning that they are irrelevant. Don't fixate on real relationship worries vs OCD. Real relationship worries are often very normal. The OCD sticks them under a magnifying glass and says A-HA! That's why I'm having these thoughts. When in reality, it's very natural and normal to have relationship troubles. Park those thoughts for now and focus on working through your OCD. You can't possibly make a decision about the future of your relationship while your mind is overly fixated on the negative. I hope that helps.
kto24
9d ago
That really helps, thank you
mangoflavoredocd
9d ago
Something that helps me is to remember that intuition is a calm, neutral, all-knowing feeling. There’s no feelings of anxiety involved in intuition.