Thread
Just Breathe ❤️
7d ago
  • Pedophilic Obsessions OCD
  • Real Events OCD

It’s hurts so much. It won’t go away no matter what I do or what anyone tells me. I’m a failure and my mind keeps telling me I’m a monster who needs to be punished over a mistake I made maybe 4 or 5 years ago. I don’t remember when exactly but I do know I had no bad intentions back then and I certainly don’t now. I was so stupid. I should of known better but it didn’t even cross my mind! How could I have been so dumb! I’ve talked to my mom and my first therapist about it but it just stays there in my head haunting me in every way it can and honestly I can’t take it anymore. I’m scared. I’m terrified. I’m exhausted and I just want it to go away. It really really hurts. How could I have been so stupid back then!? Why?! I’m at the end of my rope I can’t take much more 💔

hopefulsunny
7d ago
I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I’ve been where you are and I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. But just know that you don’t deserve to hurt like this. Sending you so much strength and hope. Better days will come.🤍
Just Breathe ❤️
7d ago
Thank you 🙂
Anonymous
7d ago
God said fear nothing, so even if it was true, he said fear not he we’ll straighten it all out.. but the key is fear nothing , not the uncertainty. Not the thought, not the possibility, not the outcome, fear nothing.
Just Breathe ❤️
7d ago
It’s so hard though. The fear is overbearing and so painful. I want to trust with all I have into God but I feel like he doesn’t hear me or I failed him and he won’t answer me. I’m lost
Anonymous
7d ago
I’ve been there. But it really is a letting go and not fearing anything that your mind throws your way.
Horoz
7d ago
The more you fell shame the worser its going to be
lettingifoff
7d ago
I understand the grief and shame you feel… I did something similar about 7 years ago I think but it wasn’t a big deal for my case… I’m sorry you’re going through this. the realization and guilt is really strong. You’re not a bad person if you are aware of the effects of your mistakes.. the whole week POCD false memory was bringing misery and i’m glad the stormy clouds are passing by and i’m finally getting the courage and realization they aren’t real. your clouds of the damming pain of guilt regret and toxic shame will die down when you realize no amount of pain will change the past ( I learned that the hard way) but you can certainly control the future. I can relate with the feeling of being a monster and full of regret… but better days come and change is near
lettingifoff
7d ago
And yeah the memories haunt me sometimes, I carry what feels like weight from it on my shoulders and back making me more tired and disgusted like they’re intrusive thoughts.
lettingifoff
7d ago
when I was struggling terribly with false memory, I felt dammed and over, monstorous and non deserving. I felt so sticky and uncomfortable (metaphor) about what I felt like was living in a box with limited oxygen and light… it’s a hell hole about that kind of stuff. you realize quickly what you have or had before and wish the pain would’ve never existed so you can live normally and guilt free. though i’m slowly coming out of the theme of false memory pocd with more trust and realization of looking back (pictures) and thinking back it seems unrealistic i’m still feeling grief because of the whole worry.. and to go through it is even scarier
lettingifoff
7d ago
when you know it happened*
Just Breathe ❤️
7d ago
@lettingifoff It really is hard. I’m sorry sorry you are going through this but you are not alone. I absolutely hate myself. I would do anything to change my past and I can’t
Spiritsinmyhead
6d ago
How is it possible that I’m in the same situation as you..god help us
Just Breathe ❤️
6d ago
It’s driving me crazy 💔
Spiritsinmyhead
6d ago
@Just Breathe ❤️ Try to listen to NF his songs helps alot
Lms526
6d ago
Hey, its going to be okay. Everyone has done things they regret and have used rotten judgement. I sure have. Its part of being human. I always seem to have to learn the hard way. No matter how much you want to, the past cannot be changed. You just need to let it go and learn from it. I also know its easier said than done. I am incredibly hard on myself too.
Jesse Miller
Yesterday
It sounds like you are ruminating on the experience you had. You keep trying to solve it and find answers and that’s why you’re still attached to it. When you start thinking about the event that happened, sit with your emotions and feelings about it. You don’t need to solve it. Give yourself time to actually sit with it and it’ll pass.