It’s hurts so much. It won’t go away no matter what I do or what anyone tells me. I’m a failure and my mind keeps telling me I’m a monster who needs to be punished over a mistake I made maybe 4 or 5 years ago. I don’t remember when exactly but I do know I had no bad intentions back then and I certainly don’t now. I was so stupid. I should of known better but it didn’t even cross my mind! How could I have been so dumb! I’ve talked to my mom and my first therapist about it but it just stays there in my head haunting me in every way it can and honestly I can’t take it anymore. I’m scared. I’m terrified. I’m exhausted and I just want it to go away. It really really hurts. How could I have been so stupid back then!? Why?! I’m at the end of my rope I can’t take much more 💔

God said fear nothing, so even if it was true, he said fear not he we’ll straighten it all out.. but the key is fear nothing , not the uncertainty. Not the thought, not the possibility, not the outcome, fear nothing.

It’s so hard though. The fear is overbearing and so painful. I want to trust with all I have into God but I feel like he doesn’t hear me or I failed him and he won’t answer me. I’m lost

I’ve been there. But it really is a letting go and not fearing anything that your mind throws your way.

The more you fell shame the worser its going to be

I understand the grief and shame you feel… I did something similar about 7 years ago I think but it wasn’t a big deal for my case… I’m sorry you’re going through this. the realization and guilt is really strong. You’re not a bad person if you are aware of the effects of your mistakes.. the whole week POCD false memory was bringing misery and i’m glad the stormy clouds are passing by and i’m finally getting the courage and realization they aren’t real. your clouds of the damming pain of guilt regret and toxic shame will die down when you realize no amount of pain will change the past ( I learned that the hard way) but you can certainly control the future. I can relate with the feeling of being a monster and full of regret… but better days come and change is near

And yeah the memories haunt me sometimes, I carry what feels like weight from it on my shoulders and back making me more tired and disgusted like they’re intrusive thoughts.

when I was struggling terribly with false memory, I felt dammed and over, monstorous and non deserving. I felt so sticky and uncomfortable (metaphor) about what I felt like was living in a box with limited oxygen and light… it’s a hell hole about that kind of stuff. you realize quickly what you have or had before and wish the pain would’ve never existed so you can live normally and guilt free. though i’m slowly coming out of the theme of false memory pocd with more trust and realization of looking back (pictures) and thinking back it seems unrealistic i’m still feeling grief because of the whole worry.. and to go through it is even scarier

when you know it happened*

@lettingifoff It really is hard. I’m sorry sorry you are going through this but you are not alone. I absolutely hate myself. I would do anything to change my past and I can’t

How is it possible that I’m in the same situation as you..god help us

It’s driving me crazy 💔

@Just Breathe ❤️ Try to listen to NF his songs helps alot

Hey, its going to be okay. Everyone has done things they regret and have used rotten judgement. I sure have. Its part of being human. I always seem to have to learn the hard way. No matter how much you want to, the past cannot be changed. You just need to let it go and learn from it. I also know its easier said than done. I am incredibly hard on myself too.