Alright guys i know I’ve been going on about hair a lot here. I just notice all the small things and like i said earlier i don’t want to buy human hair because i feel like it’s inhumane. So i bought synthetic hair thinking it was only synthetic. This may sound a bit confusing but when I was shopping I found human hair wigs that were cheaper than synthetic wigs which doesn’t sound right because human hair wigs are typically sold for higher prices (since they are more versatile) and that made me think that maybe my synthetic wigs weren’t truly synthetic as well. I did some more research and I found that most of these wigs might be just masquerading as human hair wigs but are just a blend with usually synthetic hairs and human hairs. But I wouldn’t be able to be sure of that and I wouldn’t be able to be sure that my synthetic wigs are truly synthetic. So now I’m thinking to myself maybe I should just not buy any of these wigs at all because even though they’re fun to wear it’s not a necessity, it’s just something fun that I like to do sometimes. I previously liked wearing them until I found out that they might be coming from humans which could be coming from people in concentration camps like the groups in China that are being forced to sell their hair there. Before I found this out I had purchased a hair that I thought was synthetic from a YouTube reviewer who also was refraining from buying human hair wigs and said that the wig was synthetic but really how could she know? how could/ can anybody know? I don’t know if I should just play it safe and not buy any of the wigs on the off chance its being taken from the people unjustly suffering in those camps, or if this is me doing OCD stuff and spiraling and I should just practice uncertainty and continue buying wigs that are being marketed as synthetic. As a fellow Muslim it just makes me feel totally disgusting at the idea that I might be using human wigs that come from these people that are in concentration camps because they align with my religion of Islam. What should i do?

I have no clue when the last time I washed my hair was. I write down when I did on my calendar so I can make sure I don't go too long without washing. I'm too scared to see when the last time was, I know it will make me feel more gross and uncomfortable. I have enough shampoo and conditioner. But the one little stupid thing stopping me is my bonnet. A while ago, I wore my bonnet outside. When I went back inside, my head was itchy. I realized that some pollen must have gotten stuck in my bonnet. I have allergies. So, I figured it was no big deal and washed it in the sink. Then, my OCD gave me a habit of washing my bonnet every time I went outside, even if it was only for one minute to refill the dogs water bowl. And the washing got even worse, my OCD making me dip it in the water a certain amount of times and a bunch of other stuff. What happened recently was I opened the screen on the balcony to get my dog to come into the house, and I leaned a little outside while I was wearing my bonnet. My OCD made me think my bonnet was dirty again. It's not very easy to just ignore this compulsion. This one makes me think if I don't wash it, there will be pollen on it or other allergens and when I wear my bonnet when I go to sleep I will suffocate from my allergies and die in my sleep. I have no clue how to combat this. Hand washing it is really hard because of my OCD. I would love to wash my hair right now so I can feel clean, and not feel so embarrassed every time I leave the house, but I can't use my bonnet without intense fear. I was thinking, maybe I should buy a new bonnet and put away the old one until I feel better about it? Although I would have to wash the new one too because I don't really want to wear one that hasn't been washed before because new clothes are usually sprayed in chemicals to prevent bugs. I guess I could go to the store and buy one. Or just use the bonnet I already have. The reason I feel like I have to use a bonnet after washing my hair is also OCD I think, I'm not sure if it's OCD or logical. My hair will be very wet after washing it, and if I sleep in bed with wet hair the pillows and stuff could get moldy. I'm having success getting better from all my other OCD problems except for this one. Please, I could really appreciate some advice on how to beat this. I have a therapist but she doesn't specialize in OCD so she often doesn't know what to do for my problems. I really just want to wash my hair today.

idk if my original post ever posted or if anyone ever saw it but I need some help. yesterday, I was on roblox again and joined a game. in the server I joined, I donated to it so it could be “sponsored” to gain more players. this was a new friend’s server. now I feel bad for purchasing robux again. the first time being for my avatar which was a few days ago and now with spending $10 more on some one-time thing. reason being bc of the whole condo game thing going on with roblox & them just generally not taking appropriate action against these inappropriate games. that plus still having a condo game creator on the platform. anyway, I keep thinking bc I purchased robux, it means I’m ok with what’s happening (which I’m not). it’s exhausting and I’m scared that means I enable creeps. idk, I have usually purchased robux for gamepasses, donating to artists/people and dressing up my character. I would like to get a break from the thoughts but it’s like I need to know

I sometimes get in my head that my bf is limiting me? When he never has and I highly doubt he ever will. He wants me to go to school. He wants to be there for that. He wants me to dress confidently (but modestly around his parents, that’s more a me thing cuz I really want them to warm up to me). For some reason today it’s specifically about dyeing my hair?? Like a crazy colour or smthn (which I haven’t done since I was like. 10). “He doesn’t like crazy colours in hair HED hate it” ok? I also wouldn’t really like it at this point in time cuz I go with a nice copper colour that I love. And I’ve done that for the last couple years. Like yeah funky hair colours are fun but I don’t think I actually want them? How do I know if I actually do want them? I just like having highlights cuz I feel like I look a lot prettier when they’re done. I think the craziest I’d go now is like a deeper red than my copper like my friends lol. Idk I got super in my head cuz I saw a girl with her bf and she had pink streaks which looked really cool. It’s not that he wouldn’t let me it’s just he’s not a fan(he’s Muslim so, makes sense tbh. His mom does want him to dye his hair cuz he’s graying lol), and I grew out of it. It was fun when I was 10. Honestly if I wanted to have colourful hair again I’d get those chalk ones or that hairspray at Halloween stores lol. I don’t want anything permanent. I like the predictable nature of how my hair fades Yeah weird thing to obsess over. My bf has never been controlling of my looks and I’ve had no desire to really do anything out of the ordinary. It did make me anxious when he said it initially like a year ago but I haven’t really cared about it. Now I’m worried I’m ignoring some gut instinct lol. But I don’t think I have. I feel like me. I feel safe and happy. He loves how I dress. He loves the highlights (I’m pretty sure). Idk I’ve never had an urge lately to try to dye my hair a crazy colour. Like “ooo pink streaks. Im doing it” I like it but idk. It’s not my style. It hasn’t excited me in years. Idk if it’s cuz I’m depressed that I’m like meh(my depression scores haven’t been super high so I’ve been doing really well, even without meds) or if it’s just meh to me now. When I was a kid I had short hair lol now it’s down to the middle of my back. I’m still that weird kid who did dye her hair and loved sharks and dragons and would rather read than play at recess. The same girl who worked and worked to get to university and still loves theatre (yeah my bf got stuck with a theatre kid who can’t sing or dance, I’m a tech kid. It’s the first thing he told his sister lol). On the positive side, it’s our year and a half anniversary. We played roblox for a few hours cuz I’m 3 hours away rn. I also worry I’m not happy being a woman but I am. I’m not happy with how society treats women as a whole, but I wouldn’t change being a woman. I worry my smile isn’t genuine. I worry that the reason I feel so depleted is cuz I’m not who im supposed to be. But I have no desire, only stress thinking about being a man. I think the reason I’m so depleted is just general burnout from school (I’ve been in summer classes the last 4 months and planning how to run a club and looking for research opportunities. Yay pre med!) and also the state of the world. I don’t live in the USA but I feel unfathomable amounts of anger seeing what trump is doing. And seeing the atrocities in Gaza and Syria knowing my bf’s heritage lies in those places feels. Upsetting. I think I’m just generally tired of being a human, not being a woman. I love being a woman honestly. I’ve always been tomboyish so maybe that’s where the panic lies