Haven’t been on for a long time because I feel like I’ve been doing some progress. Or should I say half progresses. I say half because they’ve not necessarily been for me, they’ve been because of someone else but nether the less it means I’ve faced a compulsion and not done it or faced an obsession and not given in. Examples are... 1. I haven’t been able to wear knickers for about two years. The last time I did I had got to a really obsessional stage where it could take me hours to find a pair to wear that wasn’t ‘too germy’ and if they were I’d obsess about it getting too close to down below and it being inappropriate. It got to the point where it was endless arguments in my family so my mum took them away so it’d cut the obsession. It was probably the wrong thing for her to do because now I’m terrified of trying them again incase I become obsessed again. BUT since seeing this guy I’ve become quite aware of the fact that it’s probably going to look really weird if I’m not wearing any so I bought some pairs and wore one on our last date. It took me a few changes and 2/3 I had to throw away for being germy but I managed with the pair I wore. I’m tempted to buy more as I feel I could wear them again I just don’t feel I could deal with them going through the wash with other peoples clothes just yet. 2. TMI but I managed to get intimate with this guy and not obsessively wash my body afterwards because of germs and I just chucked a pair of pyjamas on without my rituals when getting clothes on 3. I wanted to make my part of the garden I share look nice so I plucked the courage up to move my neighbours playhouse. Albeit with gloves on to avoid germ transferral but usually I wouldn’t have been able to do it even with the germs on 4. About 30% of the time I can ignore my intrusive thoughts 5. My self care is improving. Again TMI but I was able to shave my intimate area with a razor that wasn’t completely ‘safe from germs’. I’ve taken time to paint my nails, do a face mask, watch a sad movie with a hot chocolate 6. I got drunk. Getting drunk has been a fear of mine because I’m terrified I may blurt out intrusive thoughts and look like a weirdo but I did it and got the hangover from hell to prove it 7. I unfollowed someone that greatly influences my ocd. They tweet their thoughts and compulsions during their panic moments and I find I latch on to them or it flares up my worry more but I’ve always followed them because I’m like ‘same ?’ when really I should have unfollowed, not to be mean, but to step back and be like ‘I won’t be same, I need to be different and beat this’ 8. I’m trying to get over my fear of certain numbers so I will stop now at one of them and I won’t stress and worry about using it I don’t know if these are necessarily progresses because it’s probably things I’m doing for others and not me but I’ve felt proud that I’ve done them and can’t wait to tell my therapist as it’s like ERP I’ve set myself and done. Hopefully this can help others to try some of their ERP today and feel as proud as I do right now, because it’s a nice and different feeling