Officially lost myself don’t know where to go from here ….. somebody help me pls…When you so highly believe you are running away and avoiding it how are you not supposed to pay attention to it cause that feels like my truth and people say stand by it and what if i agree to it accept it will i be okay is that what was needed all this while will all of what I thought was a lie now become true cause i am out in the open and what if i do and i am okay with it and realise this is it!!??! What if fear is not giving me the chance and because i feel like thats my truth is it?!? Because then other people will think of running away from it and i am thinking this does that mean that it is true i write this with no anxiety what does that mean?!? Everything written feels so strong to deny what do i do?!? Never felt this tough about something and does that say something that what i fear is true and that is who i was beating people change and their preferences what do i do?!? just me thinking the possibility of all the above could be a proof of it?!! Just thinking says a lot and thinking i will be okay and now i think all this cause i am not in the environment says a lot doesnt it?!? What is true and whats not idk what to believe i have lost myself….if the uncertainty kills me so much do i want what i am uncertain of?!?if it feels like my truth and just me being and denial and thinking of all of this how does anything one says will affect me or reassure me considering i an not even anxious while writing this do i believe in this cause thats just another point saying i do…. The question am i even straight what do i even answer it?!?

Like I don’t understand if i am even scared of these thoughts anymore like i am okay with everything cause all my life feels like a hallucination and why would i be okay if i am then it means i have always been and that ocd is not the thing ?!? Like I don’t understand so i had this thought today and I don’t understand but it felt so real and emotional that i don’t think its ocd anymore or I don’t know does ocd confuse your emotions too??

But i am thankful you read my rant and thankful you replied makes me feel i am not alone:)

@Brave through Hi, yeah I know what you mean. It happens to me making me feel attracted to masculine men. If I can give you an advice, find your biggest fear-trigger and step by step face it. Ask the help of someone that deals with ocd, since it's important how you respond to triggers, not only exposing yourself

@AndreaRolle Yeah I understand and I would love to get help but i at the moment don’t have the right resources for it and i still think why did i think about the girl more than the guy why do i notice the girl more or excited to see her more even if i might not be or care for I don’t understand is this real?!? Cause some one on here said rhe excitement which I don’t know if its true or not tge noticing the care the emotions means its true cause why would i get these?!? Why will it be so natural feeling if its not ocd or is my brain confused and ocd doing this pls help

@AndreaRolle I can’t stop thinking i might be in denial or idk what cause these feel like this is me and its real or what i want cause it feels like I think of it naturally and normally like i would think of other stuff and doesn’t feel intrusive or forced what does that mean? There are others thoughts i get and i shove them away cause they feel irrational and I can’t with these or I don’t want to cause they feel okay or rational?!? Then that means something right?! What do i do !!??