It’s been a really difficult past week, my real event, pocd, and false memory had been off the charts. I’ve had to call the suicide hotline several times and have had to talk with my friend and family about it all again, for reassurance and just to get an extra ear. They all reassure me which I know makes OCD worse, but it’s gotten to the point that where. I amount of reassurance helps anymore, my false memory is crazy and the only reason I absolutely know it’s false is because it makes no sense and out of all the checking that I’ve done. I’m terrified, I’m constantly questioning all of my intentions big or small and feel ashamed any time I’m slightly happy, I’m feeling hopeless, and I’m not asking for reassurance or to hear any kind words. I suppose I’m just venting. It’s been really difficult, hopefully my therapy appointment next week might help

I haven’t been able to word it, but what you said “doubt that fills itself” is exactly how it feels. I’m terrified, it’s the worst case scenario’s and what ifs, also the possible exaggeration of some events, because I sometimes wonder how it’s possible I continued to live my life as normally and okay if the events in question are as bad as I sometimes make it out to be, it’s like constant rumination has left me not fully knowing exactly what happened, like I remember, but just not as much as I used to, and it’s been blown up

It is really difficult, I feel like I’ve committed some serious crime of some kind, because I’ve told you about the dating apps and being scared someone lied about their age, I’ve genuinely thought of calling the police, but my friend just told me “On what grounds, on a feeling or fear you have when there’s no real evidence”. I know it might just be my OCD, but I’m still genuinely terrified. I really do need to see a psychologist, I think this month has been the worst for my OCD. I don’t do much anymore, I just sit around, it’s really difficult, and again, I’m not asking for reassurance anymore. I just really need treatment both medication and therapy wise.

@OCDHaver The interesting thing about OCD is others around you will know it's your OCD driving you crazy, but you yourself won't. The same can happen for me and my OCD problems. I don't think it's OCD but everyone else sees it clear as day. For your case, you're not even close to being at fault for something like that. It's not like you wanted them to be underaged. It's driving you crazy to no end just thinking of the possible scenario, which won't happen. I know other people have probably told you the same thing I'm telling you, which is why reassurance doesn't work. It just feeds doubt long term. The only things you can do that I recommend are not reacting to the OCD or exposing yourself to the thoughts by siding with them and not responding towards any compulsive behaviors afterwards.