all my meds are empty and I'm supposed to get prescribed new ones this week. my psychiatrist was supposed to have a phone chat meeting with me and canceled since it was Thanksgiving week. I was talking to my bsf and I heard my little cousin in the background and got triggered and I'm trying not to have an anxiety attack. Any suggestions?

my ocd got triggered because i’m scared i won’t get better or have confidence in the future… does anyone have any tips to improve my confidence and avoidant attachment… my mom said i have a illness for being on the phone so much and this is why i don’t tell her anything about mental health because my dad would understand more… i worry a lot and the past few days been so hard because of me liking this guy i’m friends with and then my friend liking him.. it’s been hard and i’ve been having low self esteem where i’m scared if i have depression…i’m scared i will never improve my confidence or improve me being off the phone… i just got triggered and i’m like getting anxious since i don’t have anything straighten out

Today I had my follow up appointment with my psychologist, I left feeling worse, I loved the psychologist I spoke to last time he was very informed and understanding, this time I got an appointment with someone who he supervises and I feel like she didn't allow me to speak, she didn't allow me to explain my thoughts or feelings, she told me I have to take my medication or she won't be able to continue helping me, which I understand but im terrified of medication I can't get over it, she said if i start the prozac and it doesn't work then I'll have to get on antipsychotics which seems a bit extreme to me considering i have no psychotic symptoms matter of fact she didn't even allow me to explain my symptoms and i feel like there's so many other antidepressants that could work before getting on antipsychotics🙁 this didn't help me at all considering the episode of ocd i just got through was about me becoming psychotic, I just feel let down and misunderstood, I almost felt as if she was mad at me for the buspar not working she said "you didn't really try it you just took it for a week so if you stopped it it's like you gave up on yourself" but it kept me up 2 nights in a row and i couldnt function from the anxiety 😞

I am having an appointment with my psychiatrist this afternoon and I am obsessing about what to do with my medication. I think it’s also very ocd like obsessing. I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine. Ive been on this for years (because of insomnia, anxiety and depression) (15mg) and after we tried to switch to another (amitryptiline) because of nerve pain, I went down the road of insomnia and later on ocd again. So I am back on mirtazapine, and weaning off of the amitryptiline. This is/was a very traumatic experience. Because the switch caused a mental breakdown. Now my psychiatrist has mentioned to up the mirtazapine to 45mg. And my obsessive self has done a lot of research and a lot is saying that the higher the dose, the more you can experience anxiety. And for ocd it’s obviously not the first choice. I am obsessing all morning about it. I am too scared to go up. But I am also too scared to try another and to wean myself of off mirtazapine. I feel stuck at this point. Taking two meds is also not something I want. I could really use some words of encouragement right now I think. 🥹