My partner and I were doing stuff on the phone and it was so erotic and I was enjoying myself but then I had the thought, “Almost there but not quite” I immediately felt myself shut down and suddenly I was scared and grossed out. I hate myself , we were both really enjoying ourselves and my mind just pushed me completely out of the moment because I wanted something more but I don’t know what and this happens a lot I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Am I always going to have that thought??? I was really enjoying myself 💔💔

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anon1294

Date posted: 4y

I know that feeling. I could be completely enjoying myself with my husband but my brain tries to trick me. It’s bizarre

PinkLotus

Date posted: 4y

Yup it really sucks

Bookworm91

Date posted: 4y

I don’t mean to trigger either of you but I have a question. I’ve been imagining uh…female parts. In an unfortunate amount of detail and imagining doing stuff guys do. And it’s not like doing anything for me necessarily at all actually but I was wondering if either of you have experienced this because just yesterday I was very much happy over dick if you know what I mean. Now I keep imagining things and HD to put it in another create and I keep making these weird facial expressions like I am but I’m not interested in my body is like work dude I don’t know what you’re on but we’re not into this and now I can’t imagine a guy parts but I can’t stop Imagining the alternative. Does this happen either of you? I’m literally at work and I feel like crying

Bookworm91

Date posted: 4y

Ok seriously I’m so sorry for burdening your guys with this. You’re both already dealing with enough 😣

PinkLotus

Date posted: 4y

No you’re okay you’re not bugging! I also have moments of intrusive thoughts and actions and urges with things such as this, it’s common in this theme

Bookworm91

Date posted: 4y

@PinkLotus Thank you. 🥺 Thank you for not being mad I’m driving all my friends and family crazy. I just looked at a coworker and imagine her naked and said not but I wanted to be bad and I felt weird and warm in my chest like but it’s not hot and I’m so sorry thank you for letting me talk about it because it just feels strange. I’m like I said I’m pretty innocent action wise you know I haven’t done much but I’ve always been going crazy especially their parts well I mean I have to have some amount of brain above the waist otherwise I’m not gonna do anything with the dude but I’ve always liked the parts in their bodies like not just sexually but like I feel like male bodies On my thing and now I act like they are when they’re not nasty. Thank you so much for understanding. I just want my guy feelings to come back in this other shit to go away because what kind of street person I feel so weird and warm in my chest saying not see it I want her to go back to being bad but straight person talk like this it’s just so I’m imagining stuff that I don’t like things I’ve made myself watch and I keep feeling hollow in my chest saying when it’s not hot. Ok I’m shutting up.

PinkLotus

Date posted: 4y

@Bookworm91 Yup this is all very common in soocd, I know it’s difficult and it feels horrible but hang in there. Try to let the thoughts pass by, theyre just your brain trying to scare you

Bookworm91

Date posted: 4y

@PinkLotus I’ll try 🥺

PinkLotus

Date posted: 4y

I really don’t want to be sexually involved with a woman but this makes me feel doomed

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