Hi there, I am new to this forum and it is great to get some of my feelings out there. I have been struggling with OCD for 9 years now and I have def come along way. I have gotten treatment but am still struggling to this day. I just got engaged to someone I love and of course my ROCD flared up. So back story: My first feelings of OCD were around relationships, which I later found out was ROCD. My problem started when I had a really uncaring partner who was jealous and controlling. He started to question me about what I was doing with other guys when we weren't together and just didn't trust me but this distrust was unwarranted. I was never doing anything wrong but for some reason, I started to doubt myself. He would ask me if I had flirted with anyone and I would say no. I love you, but then I would go back and check and re-visit any moment when I interacted with a guy and then I would question if I did actually flirt with him. It started small with silly things like this but then it became much worse. It became a huge issue as I was feeling the need to confess to him any time I might have done something he didn't like. I knew what I was doing was totally irrational but I couldn't stop myself from confessing and then he would get mad and would validate my reason for confessing which would make me feel relieved that I was being honest. This would create a cycle of confessing and validating. Obviously, this is not a healthy way to interact but this went on for months until he broke up with me because I was just confessing everything and my self esteem just plummeted. I had no idea I had OCD at the time and it was super traumatizing. Since then, I have dealt with this fear of disappointing or doing something my parter wouldn't like in every single relationship. I have just learned to cope. What is hard now is that I can never figure out if my oversharing/confessions are coming from a place of true openness and vulnerability or my OCD compulsions. I tend to close down and I try not to share because I know it can snow ball into a much bigger issue and my need to confess will grow. Anyways, I am curious if there is anyone else out there that struggles with this type of situation. I want to be open with. my partner (fiance) but I need to get my thought process back in check. Thanks for reading.