Pls could use a little help 😥I had a few things in mind that i need to get out so i have my thoughts and then they just pass away without any anxiety like they are a part of me and it's natural to me which I don't understand how it's possible its feels like At this point I don't care and feel like i am and i am just faking all this ocd and i agree with it hardcore and all this writing and posting is also bs. get the thoughts like i had a fee today where i felt like i was naturally noticing the girl... and a dream where i wanted to be with one and when such things happen how am i not supposed to believe them like my ocd or whatever it is it is better now and get a few thoughts here and there and i am so tired i just don't want to engage with them and then i think if i am being so okay with the uncertainty of maybe maybe not and people on the other hand have so much problem then it might me that i always was what i am denying and i am writing this so easily too that means its not ocd right?!? Cause why would i be so okay and now more specifically be okay with the maybe maybe not idea!!! That should take time it means it was always like this thats why its easy to accept?!! Idk what to do!!?! I feel i am faking it all and the thoughts have started to feel like a part of me and i get it and don't pay attention like anyone else from the community wouldn't what does that make me?!? If i feel so natural with them how is it ocd?!

No I don’t have the resources to find one and its honestly exhausting rn my hocd is a little less than my health ocd but its still present like o heard a radio ad today where this girl was talking about being demi sexual and my friend also said that she is one in the most natural way possible and i felt like i related to her and felt I wasn’t alone and why would i feel that if i am not that like I don’t understand the point of these thoughts when they have no meaning according to ocd but if they do feel so real why do i feel okay with them and like natural with them because if i am getting these thoughts they would mean something right.. and like when people on here tell me i am straight i laugh and don’t believe it but why wouldn’t i like idk what to do amd what to feel why don’t i feel completely straight and i feel that does mean something and i am just trying to deny it

@Brave through Hi I understand what you mean...if you read the post in this app, many people is describing the same cycle of thoughts. That might make you aware how ocd works and how it's tricks are. Secondly, look at the video on YouTube by Nathan peterson about hocd. That should help you a bit. What you need now, is to start a process of recovery and you cannot do it alone. You need a cognitive behavioural therapist that understand your inner fears and schedule a plan to overcome them. Remember your fears are something different from your sexual orientation. Now you're victim of your fears, so let's solve these first. Then when you'll feel fine, you can explore you're sexual identity if you still require. Anyway, find the money to get to a therapist. That's the only way For your initial steps you need a help of someone then you'll maybe able to walk alone Oki 😉?

@AndreaRolle I understand what you’re saying but just you saying that i can explore later makes me feel weird about it like why can’t i accept or what is this and if i am supposed to know later and change later why not know now like i am finding this very difficult there are times ik that these thoughts are irrational but those are few in comparison to the ones that feel real and normal and then this and rn I can’t seem to get help cause there aren’t any good therapists around me idk what to do??

@Brave through Hi, yeah I knew it was teiggering. It triggers me a log as well! 😉 I answer to that, may be, may be not, and I do something else to do without giving importance to the problem. The point here is not to ruminate 😊 We need to differenciate our ocd from our sexual orientation. These are two completely different things. Give your brain a break, do something different, do sport or engage with friends. About a therapist, you can do very well online too! Use this app for example Or look online ocd treatment Just keep moving otherwise you drawn

@AndreaRolle Do i even believe it ocd anymore do i want to get better what if i come out of it accepting what i feared what then?!? And like with these two years of facing this am i at a point where i have gotten used to it and when i shouldn’t if i am okay with the idea if being in ocd instead of getting help and being anxious and living with that uncertainty that means there could be some truth to my denial otherwise i should be going to therapy rn what do i do?!? Like do i even want to be with guys and do i even feel attracted to them anymore if i do why would i not be okay with someone flirting or question it or fear it? I am sorry for ranting

@AndreaRolle And also thankful nothing makes me feel better but just know that i am not alone is enough :)